An Ever Fixéd Mark (38 page)

“So how is Ben?” he broke her concentration
with a sudden, but still friendly question. “I’m almost surprised
that you didn’t drag him down here with you.”

“Really?” Lizzie coughed and stifled it with
another sip of wine.

“Almost.”

Lizzie bit her lip and lingered with the
wine glass not too far from her lips. She breathed and set it back
on the table. “Actually, Ben is out of town.”

“Hm.”

“He’s been,” Lizzie looked about to measure
the noise of the surrounding crowds. “He’s been helping with the
final stages of a clinic that’s opening outside of Chicago.”

“He’s gone back to that?”

“
He still has his computer
company. I don’t know how he is managing both right
now.”

“Ben works very hard,” Oliver rested his
fingers on the base of his neglected wine glass. “He always
has.”

“Yeah,” Lizzie hoped her discouragement
wasn’t obvious.

“You know, I think I got an invite to their
opening,” Oliver looked up to try to catch a memory in his
thoughts. “Yes, it’s on my desk in San Fran,” he laughed to
himself. “It’s next weekend, right? Is he taking you to that?”

Lizzie shook her head and swallowed almost
half her glass.

“Yeah… probably not,” he looked at her.
“That would be an interesting party. The who’s who of the vampire
world. Some of the guests might surprise you.”

“I’ve had enough surprises this year,”
Lizzie met his eyes. “I’m not sure how amazing the next one might
be.”

“True enough.”

“Do you go to the clinic?”

“Not very much,” Oliver said slowly. “I
prefer a more organic method.”

Lizzie’s eyes widened as she reached for her
glass. “Oh?”

“Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the
importance of the clinics. Everything that Ben and his friends
achieved is really very important. Especially with the escalation
of AIDS and malaria and … all those diseases. But it isn’t… it
isn’t natural.”

Lizzie took the last large swallow from her
glass, not even tasting the wine. She let out a deep breath as she
landed the empty glass on the table. Oliver leaned a little closer
and lowered his voice. “Ask any vampire and they will tell you that
they prefer teeth to needles.” Oliver sat back and slid his full
glass towards Lizzie. “It’s like your wine. It’s as much about
holding the glass and taking a sip – savoring the flavor and
feeling the burn. It wouldn’t be the same if someone hooked you up
to an IV and just put the alcohol into your bloodstream.”

“No,” Lizzie put the stem of the glass
between her fingers. “If you don’t go to the clinic… and your
partner is already a…” she lowered her voice under the hum of the
bar conversation. “… a vampire – what do you do?”

“I have loyal sources. I go to the clinic on
occasion. But I’ve been around long enough to know the good from
the bad.”

Lizzie took a sip from the wine glass. “I
suppose that’s true,” she managed a smile as her mind wandered to
Ben’s office in early September. “Do you like endorphins?”

Oliver couldn’t stop the grin creeping
across his cheeks. “Of course I do.”

“Then… if your wife isn’t a source… do you,”
Lizzie stopped herself from finishing the question she didn’t
censor herself from starting. “I’m sorry. That was very
inappropriate.”

Oliver looked away from the conversation
towards the bar. Lizzie felt naïve and foolish. She was still so
new to this world. Ben was only one personality of vampire.
Apparently they weren’t all as he was. The definitions of their
right and wrong altered, even amongst brothers… or whatever they
were. Oliver turned back from the bar, the smile still evident in
the corner of his lips. “Do you have to work tomorrow?”

“What?”

“I’m heading to New York on Saturday. I
thought I might do a few tourist things tomorrow. Somewhat
research. Somewhat genuine curiosity.’

“
The Freedom Trail?”
Lizzie realized how absurd that would be for Oliver who fought the
British.

“There is a pretty interesting exhibit at
the Science Museum.”

“
I haven’t been there in
ages.”

“You have to work?”

“I’ll see how I feel in the morning,” Lizzie
answered coolly. “I should probably head home.”

Oliver disappeared briefly to take care of
the bill. Lizzie had her coat on and purse ready by the time he
returned. “Can I walk you to your car?”

“I took the train.”

“Then let me give you a ride home.”

Lizzie followed him quietly back to the
UMASS campus. There was a cold November wind distracting her
thoughts from saying anything other than how frigid the temperature
felt. Within ten minutes they were in a parking lot beside a silver
Jeep Wrangler. “Rental?” she asked as he searched for the keys in
his pocket.

“Actually, it’s mine. I keep it here for the
few times I visit,” he unlocked the car.

“How often do you visit?” Lizzie shuddered
as the wind leaked under her coat.

“Not as much these days,” he got in the car
and leaned across the seat to open her door. “But… things change.
Eventually I’ll be too young to stay in California.”

Lizzie sat herself beside him and shivered
again as she pulled the seatbelt across her. “Are you planning to
come back soon?”

“No,” Oliver started the ignition.
“Although, a colleague wants me to come to UMASS and fill an open
position next fall.”

“You’re not considering it?” Lizzie’s teeth
chattered.

Oliver paused before pressing on the gas.
“No. I like my work right now. I don’t look too shockingly young. I
like California. I’m glad I went back.”

“
You were there
before?”

“I was there until…” he stopped and cast a
glance at Lizzie. “I was in LA until Charlotte was gone. That’s
when I came back here.”

“Oh,” Lizzie looked out her window into the
blackness of the Charles River.

“Where am I taking you?”

“Cen… to Newton,” Lizzie decided that she
didn’t want to lead him to Ben’s apartment. “Can you find your way
to Storrow?”

“Sure can.”

Lizzie let the silence fall between them as
she slowly recovered from the chilly wind in the warmth of his car.
She only spoke to give directions to Jefferson Park.

“You guys live in Newton?”

“My apartment is here,” Lizzie said quickly.
“I… didn’t want to stay at Ben’s place tonight. There was a murder
across the street the other night.”

“Really?” Oliver pulled in front of the
house.

“Yeah,” Lizzie looked down at her purse. “A
crime of passion.”

“He’s still in that place near the
hospital?”

Lizzie lifted her eyes back to look at him.
He gazed out the window with disinterest, as if he was just making
small talk before she decided to get herself out of the car. “Yes,”
she unbuckled her belt and felt the exhaustion of a long day
suddenly mingle with the glass and a half of wine. “What did you do
to Melissa?”

Oliver snapped his head to look at her. His
eyes were very sad, as if he didn’t have the ability to summon a
mask to hide it. “I didn’t kill her, Lizzie.”

Lizzie shut her eyes. She was waiting to
hear that answer. She knew… she always knew that was what it was.
Ben never had the determination to quiet her insane doubt. “You
know what happened to her,” Lizzie said with a calm of which she
didn’t know she was capable.

Oliver hardened his grip on the idle
steering wheel. “I do,” he returned with equal calm but no
apology.

“Will you tell me?”

Oliver looked at her briefly and then back
through the windshield of his Jeep. “I am responsible,” he
continued that calm tenor of his voice. “I don’t deny that.”

Lizzie looked down at her hands. She knew
there might be some reason she should be afraid and want to leave
the car. He wasn’t keeping her there. He wasn’t forcing the story
into her mind. She asked the question. She was the one hesitating
before going to the apartment. Lizzie lifted her focus back to his
concentrated stare through the window. Oliver turned his head
quickly and offered his gentle grin. “I used to give her a ride
home every once in a while. She was a good kid. Smart. Definitely
very pretty,” Oliver hid his smile from Lizzie. “She knew what I
was.”

“Did you tell her?”

“She figured it out. She paid a lot of
attention … she had a crush on me.”

“Oh,” Lizzie fiddled with the strap of her
purse.

“I liked her. I…” Oliver shut his eyes. “I
indulged her. We had a quiet affair the summer before I went to
Amherst.”

“You went to Amherst?”

“Just for the freshman year,” Oliver
breathed out. “I intended to stay close to help Ben with the
property, but…”

“Melissa died.”

“She visited my dorm. Then when I came home
on breaks…”

“But she was dating Kyle Granger.”

“Yes, I know,” Oliver looked down. “It
wasn’t that sort of relationship. If you could call it a
relationship. Melissa was attracted to the vampire. If she thought
she had a chance with Ben, she would have pursued him.”

“She thought Ben wanted Sara.”

“
Yeah,” Oliver laughed
quietly. “Melissa wanted to become vampire. She didn’t believe Ben
would use her as a source, much less change her.”

“Would you?”

“She was my source…but I … she was too young
and emotional. I didn’t think she knew what she was giving up.
Plus, there are so many other…”

“You changed your wife.”

“That was different, Lizzie.”

“So what happened to Melissa?” Lizzie
thought of Ben’s comparison of Oliver to Meg. Meg didn’t know her
limitations. Oliver’s conversation and demeanor didn’t resemble
Meg’s mania at all. Was Melissa something that just got out of
control?

“She knew the science of it. She knew if she
lost a certain amount of blood she would only survive if I fed her
blood,” Oliver faded and then shook his head back to the present.
“I was home for the summer. It was the weekend before the Springs
graduation. I hadn’t seen her since March break. I was hungry and
stupid and… I didn’t pay attention. She cut herself before coming
to see me. She let me feed on her even though she already lost a
lot of blood. I stopped when I knew what was happening. She was
upset, irrational. She wanted me to finish. I offered to take her
home and made a whole bunch of promises about later in the summer.
She left the house in a fury. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t
know if I should follow her. I knew she wasn’t well. She lost too
much blood. I should have taken her to a hospital. I …”

“What happened to her?”

“She used to come to our house by an old
wagon road in the woods.”

“At the start of the state forest.”

“Yes,” Oliver nodded. “There is a brook that
runs through it. It was a rainy night. It was a very rainy spring
so the brook was overflowing. I don’t know for certain, Lizzie, but
I’m pretty sure she fell or fainted in the brook.”

“But you don’t know.”

“I know she didn’t make it home that
night.”

“Do you think she threw herself in the
brook?” Lizzie surprised herself with her question.

“That is a possibility.”

“They never found a body,” Lizzie kept
looking at the strap entwined in her fingers. “So nobody knows for
sure.”

“I found footprints in the mud very close to
the creek. It looked like she skidded at the water’s edge.”

“Why didn’t you tell the police? Or Mr.
Benson?”

“I thought about it. I still think about it,
Lizzie. They searched those woods. They looked in that water. They
didn’t find her.”

“So… how do you know someone else didn’t
come and take her? Or… that she didn’t run away?”

“I don’t know that. But I’m pretty confident
that she fell.”

“Then her body is still in those woods?”

Oliver nodded quietly.

“If they found her, they would have seen her
bite marks,” Lizzie suddenly realized. “That’s why you…”

“Ben had his eye on MIT. He was happy at
Springs. He was happy to be in Coldbrook again. I didn’t want to
take that away from him.”

“Nobody would have believed that you
were…”

“But any hint of scandal…” Oliver shook his
head. “He thought I did it. He still does, apparently. I don’t
blame him after… everything else. So I transferred to a college in
California and started a new life plan.”

“But that family… doesn’t know what happened
to their daughter. Her falling in the brook is a lot less horrific
than thinking somebody raped and murdered her.”

Oliver met her eyes. Even in the dim shadows
of the street lamp she could see the guilt that lingered there.
“You’re right.”

“You and Ben had an opportunity to have a
new life. Melissa didn’t.”

“Ben… he didn’t have anything to do with
this. He didn’t even know that I was seeing Melissa. He knew I gave
her rides and jumped to the worst possible conclusion because you…”
Oliver stopped himself. “Funny thing is, he thought he was
protecting me.”

“No. He was protecting himself, too.”

“And you.”

Lizzie felt the cold of the November wind
leak through the car door. “Did you think that Melissa looked
like…”

“
I thought she was very
pretty,” Oliver decided to answer the question he thought he
heard.

“Oliver,” Lizzie tightened her grip on her
purse. “When you came to the Fulton House, you said I should be
careful of Ben. Why did you say that?”

Oliver looked back at the windshield. “You
should be careful, Lizzie,” he said sincerely. “You should be
careful sitting here with me. You should always be aware. Ben sees
me a certain way and expects me to do things that will prove his
opinion correct. I don’t blame him entirely. I don’t think it’s
fair all the time. I’m glad that you are asking me questions so
that I can give you a different version of the story.”