An Honorable Wish (A Lady's Wish 2) (13 page)

Read An Honorable Wish (A Lady's Wish 2) Online

Authors: Eileen Richards

Tags: #Historical, #Romance, #Fiction, #Regency, #Victorian, #London Society, #England, #Britain, #19th Century, #Adult, #Forever Love, #Bachelor, #Single Woman, #Wishes, #Gambling Den, #Ruined Man, #Country Estate, #Secret Disgrace, #Secret Wish, #Gambling Mistress, #Heart Risk

BOOK: An Honorable Wish (A Lady's Wish 2)
11.65Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
Juliet looked around. “Is this part of Horneswood?”
“I don’t know, really,” Tony said as he dismounted. “Easy. I’m just tying the reins so she can graze.”
Juliet was back to holding on with a death grip, though not quite as hard as she had when she first mounted the horse. Progress. Eventually he might actually get her to ride on her own.
Tony stepped beside the horse and held out his arms to her. “Just slide off the saddle and into my arms.”
“You won’t let me fall?” Her voice was all quivery again.
“I promise.” He caught her against him as she dismounted. She slid down his body slowly. When her feet touched the ground, she stared up at him. She was trembling.
“You did well, Jules.” He couldn’t keep the gruffness from his voice.
She smiled, finally starting to relax. “I wasn’t too much of a baby?”
Tony shook his head, unable to tear his eyes away from her face. He could feel the warmth of her body through the thin layers of the clothes she wore. He moved his hands to grip her hips.
Juliet licked her lips. It was more invitation than Tony needed. He bent his head and kissed her softly, brushing his lips back and forth, teasing. He tasted her with his tongue. She melted against him.
Juliet’s fingertips touched his face, rough against her skin. Her lips parted and her tongue found his and rubbed against it.
Tony ached for her. Never before had he been unable to resist a woman, but this slip of a girl fired his blood like no other.
But he wouldn’t take her here, on the ground, not their first time. Juliet deserved a soft bed and a bit of romance. Frankly, he wanted the same: a quiet, firelit room where they could explore each other thoroughly, love each other gently.
Tony put a more appropriate distance between them, the intensity of his feelings threatening to overwhelm him. Removing his cravat, he said, “I’m ready to cool off.”
Juliet’s eyes widened. “You can’t be serious. What if someone comes along?”
“I only meant to dip my cravat into the water,” he teased. “What were you thinking I was going to do?”
She blushed but said nothing.
“Do you have a riding habit? You’ll need one for our next lesson.”
“No, thank you.”
“Sweetheart, you need to learn to handle a horse on your own. What if you were out with the cart and a wheel broke? How would you get back home?”
“I’ve managed so far without much difficulty.”
“You will learn.”
“No, Tony, I won’t. I’ve done as you’ve asked. I sat on a horse. I gave her a treat.”
“I won’t have a wife of mine who cannot ride a horse. You will continue your lessons.”
“Just because we’re engaged does not give you the right to ride roughshod over me. If I choose not to learn, it’s up to me.”
Tony stared down at the angry woman before him. The stubborn set of her chin dared him to say something. He couldn’t intimidate her. What did that say about the kind of marriage they’d have?
He would not yield. Juliet needed to learn to ride. He wanted the opportunity to ride through the countryside with her so they could enjoy each other’s company away from the servants and cares of the day. She was just going to have to deal with her unreasonable fears. “You’re going to learn to ride, Juliet. I insist upon it.”
“Or what?”
“Or this.” Tony picked her up and swung her over his shoulder and walked toward the lake. She was itching for a fight and he needed to cool down. He wrapped his arm around her kicking legs. “Be still.”
“Put me down, Tony.”
Tony walked to the edge of the pond and swung her around and into his arms. “We need to cool our tempers, dear.”
Juliet paled. “No. Don’t—”
Tony laughed and swung her over the water, only meaning to tease her out of her anger, but she twisted in his arms to avoid being thrown in.
As he juggled her, his boots slipped on the moss-covered stones at the edge of the pond, and they both went into the water.
Icy water froze his limbs for a moment as Tony struggled to the surface, fighting the weight of his boots as they filled with water. He reached the surface and glanced around, expecting to see her gasping from the cold as he was.
She wasn’t. Panic filled him as he dove down, looking for her pale dress in the murky water. Her dress and petticoats would have weighed her down, but she should have been able to swim against it toward the surface, unless she could not swim.
She was struggling to reach the surface. He dove and caught her around the waist. In her panic, she fought him, nearly pulling them down deeper. Tony wrapped one arm underneath her arms and swam as hard as he could.
He pulled in deep breaths of air as he broke the surface. He turned so that Juliet’s head would be above the level of the water. She was still fighting, still panicked. “Shh. I’ve got you.”
They went under again. He wrapped a tight arm around her waist and pulled them back to the surface. “Juliet! Stop or you’ll drown us both.”
Tony swam to the stones edging the pond and stood in the shallower water. Juliet was trembling; from cold, from fear. Her bonnet sagged down her back, her glasses were askew. He hauled her out of the water and onto a stone before heaving himself out of the water. Juliet coughed up water, breathing heavily.
Tony was shaken. Never in his life had he felt such fear. Juliet could have been gone from him by his own stupidity. It made him realize there were things about this lady that he didn’t know. Facts like her not knowing how to swim. Didn’t young ladies learn to swim? He had just assumed. “I’m so very sorry, Juliet. I only meant to tease.”
She looked up at him, distrust filling her eyes. “What were you thinking?”
He hung his head. “I wasn’t thinking, apparently.” He removed the bonnet and tossed it aside. He couldn’t even offer her his coat. They were both soaked to the skin. “I am sorry.”
Juliet looked down at her wet clothes. “How are we supposed to explain this to my sister? Or to anyone else who might see us on the lane?” Her teeth were starting to chatter.
“We can sit here in the sun until we dry off a bit before we go home,” Tony suggested. “I for one would appreciate the chance to catch my breath.”
 
Juliet removed her leather gloves and plopped them beside her bonnet. She was wet and cold. Everything squished, including her half boots. Her spectacles were wet and there was nothing to dry them with.
If she had a stick, she’d beat Tony with it.
Tony found his cravat in the grass, where he had tossed it. “Allow me to remove the water from your glasses.” She passed him her glasses. He dried them and made to replace them on her face.
“Don’t touch me. I’m angry with you,” she said.
He took her hand anyway and raised it to his lips. His lips were cold against her skin. He pressed a kiss to her palm. Heat spread through her and she shivered with awareness but blamed the icy water of the pond.
“You are cold,” he whispered against her skin.
“The water was freezing.”
Tony looked down at his own clothes. “I’m going to have to get new boots.”
“Had you not been playing games, your boots wouldn’t be wet.”
“You were being unreasonable.”
“Me? You were ordering me around as if you owned me.”
“We’re going to be married,” Tony said in a softer voice.
“That does not give you the liberty to treat me thus. Nor does it give you the right to force me to do something I do not want to do. If I decide to learn to ride, then I’ll do it. I won’t be bullied by you or anyone else.”
“I’m sorry, Jules. I just wanted you to be able to ride to safety, if you needed to. I won’t always be there to protect you. I also thought it would be nice to share something with you. I love riding. The wind in my face as I gallop along. The power of the horse beneath me. It’s exhilarating.”
Juliet’s anger drained away as his words sank in. “It’s going to take me a while to face my fear of horses. I’ve been afraid for a long time.”
“I had no right to force the issue. I just thought you’d like it once you had the chance to try it in a safe way.”
“If you promise not to push, I’ll try again.” Juliet removed her Spencer, wrung it out, then smoothed it out on the rock to dry. She tried squeezing some of the water from her skirts.
Tony had gone still, pausing in the removal of his boots. He was staring at her breasts. Juliet looked down. The water had caused her clothes to become transparent. She snatched her Spencer to cover herself, even as she was hit by a wave of longing.
“You’re all I see when I close my eyes. You’re my first thought and my last each day. I want you so badly, Jules.”
Juliet blinked away the sting of tears at the emotion in his voice. He cared something for her. Her heart tripped a beat, then swelled with its own flood of feelings. “Here?”
He laughed. “Damp clothing and a hard rock are not what I want for our first time.”
She smiled. “It does not sound romantic to me either.”
Juliet let her eyes fall closed as Tony pressed his mouth to hers. Her hands caressed his face, his skin slightly rough from his beard. The kiss was sweet, gentle, as if Tony was determined not to let things go too far. She needed more.
Juliet teased the seam of his lips with her tongue, taking charge as he had done in the past. As his lips parted, she swirled her tongue in his mouth, enjoying the taste of him, the warmth.
She loved the firmness of his lips against hers. She curled her hands into his wet hair and tried to crawl into his lap, needing to be close, even if their clothes separated them.
“Well, this is embarrassing,” Simon Bartleby said. “I keep finding you both in compromising positions.”
Juliet gasped and Tony wrapped his arm around her, preventing her from moving away. “Your dress is transparent, Jules.”
His voice was soft in her ear. Juliet blushed as she buried her face in Tony’s shoulder.
“Bartleby, what are you doing here?” Tony’s voice was hard.
“I saw the horse tethered. I thought that perhaps someone was trespassing.”
“So this is Horneswood land?” Tony asked. “I didn’t know.”
Bartleby laughed. “I’m surprised, given the interest you’ve shown in the property. You’ve been riding all over the county talking to the tenants.”
“I have been looking for an estate to purchase, now that I’m ready to take a wife.”
“Your engagement has been the talk of the county.”
“Yes. Miss Townsend has made me the happiest of men,” Tony said.
Juliet raised her head and met the disdainful gaze of Mr. Bartleby.
“From the look of things, I’d say she’s made her bed. Let’s hope she will still want to marry you as time goes by.”
Juliet stiffened against him. “What is he talking about?”
“I’m sure you’ll discover it, my dear.” Bartleby tipped his hat. “Good day.”
Juliet sat back once Bartleby disappeared. “Discover what, Tony?”
“Nothing.” He gave her the waistcoat she’d discarded. “We should get back to the house and get out of these wet things. We’ve already been gone too long.” Tony stood and walked to the horse.
He had retreated into himself, so far from her that she hardly knew him. A few words from Mr. Bartleby and Tony had disengaged from her, closed himself off.
Juliet tugged on her Spencer as best she could and picked up her ruined bonnet to stumble after him. “So you’re not going to explain it to me.”
Tony looked down at her. “Explain what?”
She stepped back from the hardness in his eyes. Something was going on between Bartleby and Tony. “What’s going on between you and Mr. Bartleby? I know there is something.”
“Get on the horse, Jules.”
Juliet let him lift her onto the horse without complaint. He mounted behind her and started toward the Lodge.
“Does this have to do with the Williamses?” she asked.
“Juliet, it isn’t your concern.”
“If we are to be wed, it damn well is my concern.”
“We aren’t wed yet.”
“Nor are we likely to be if you keep secrets from me.” Juliet gripped the pommel in front of her.
They rode the rest of the way in silence. She was too angry to speak to Tony and unwilling to listen unless he offered up an explanation. Her heart hurt. She had thought Tony had changed. He wasn’t the rake everyone in Town thought he was. He was kind, loving, funny, and honorable. He was hers.
The horse came to a stop at the stables. Tony dismounted and then helped her down. He didn’t allow her body to touch his. He released her immediately. As if he couldn’t bear to touch her.
Juliet stared up at him, willing to him look at her. She stood there like an idiot, waiting.
He turned and walked to the stables. Her heart cracked. She turned and ran into the house. She had to put as much space between them as possible. She raced up the stairs and past Anne.
“Juliet, what on earth?” Anne called out.
Juliet couldn’t keep the tears from falling down her cheeks. Disappointment shook her to the core. She’d let her guard down again with Tony Matthews, with the same result as before. She shook her head at Anne and continued to her room. She closed the door softly and leaned against it.
The illusion she’d allowed herself to believe in crumbled at her feet like dried-out cake. Tears fell as Juliet leaned her head against the closed door.
If Tony could keep secrets from her, then he didn’t love her. Love meant telling each other everything. That was what people did in novels. He obviously felt he had to hold a part of himself back.
Unlike her, who gave him everything. She even got on a horse for him.
Juliet had done it to herself. Again. She had given her heart to Tony Matthews only to have him smash it beneath his boot as if it was a bug.
Chapter Thirteen
T
here weren’t enough curses to utter to allow Tony to feel better about his actions. He’d made a huge mistake with Juliet. What could he say? Anything that came out of his mouth would be a lie.
He would not lie to her outright. Omission was a given, but not an out-and-out lie. For some reason, simply saying nothing seemed like less of a sin.
Tony had stood there in front of her like a dolt, afraid to say anything, terrified that the truth would come tumbling out. The pain on her face had said it all. He’d hurt her with his silence.
There was a small part of him that had hoped she’d be able to handle the conflict, the dark moods men were subject to when cornered. Tony was disappointed that Juliet still believed love happened as it did in the pages of a Jane Austen novel.
The truth would come out soon, either from him or from Bartleby. If Juliet dissolved into tears over a bit of anger, what chance did he have of her feelings surviving the truth?
She’d never forgive him. She surely wouldn’t marry him. The bleakness that arose from that one thought tore at Tony’s heart. Somehow this one small woman had gotten past his defenses. Juliet could lay him bare to the world with one word. He didn’t like being vulnerable, not one bit.
He needed to change out of his wet clothes. His boots were ruined, and probably his coat as well. He stepped inside the house to make his way up the stairs.
Anne came out of the parlor. “Tony, a moment, please.”
Tony closed his eyes. He didn’t need any more guilt. He didn’t need any more lectures. “Of course.” He followed Anne into the parlor.
“What’s going on with Juliet?” Anne asked.
Tony wiped all the emotion from his face, for Anne could read him like a book. “We argued.”
“She was in tears and soaking wet. What were you two doing?”
“I was teaching her to ride.”
Anne’s jaw dropped. “You put Juliet on a horse?”
He nodded.
“She actually got near enough a horse to get on it?”
Tony had to smile at the surprise in Anne’s voice. “Yes, and we rode to the pond. Why doesn’t Juliet like horses?”
Anne crossed her arms and looked down at the floor. Tony had a feeling he wasn’t going to like what he heard.
“My brother put Juliet on a horse when she was but four years old,” Anne said.
“Alone? She was too small. Unless it was a pony.”
“Sophia had the pony. Juliet was crying that she wanted to ride like Sophia. John had the brilliant idea of putting her on his own horse, who had a bit of a wild side.”
“Where was the nanny? Your parents? You?”
“Mother had just died. Father was grieving. I was with him.” She hugged herself tighter and looked out the window. “John slapped the horse’s rump and it took off with Juliet on its back, her hands tangled in its mane.”
“How badly was she hurt?”
“She broke her arm and had some bruising. She landed in a pile of leaves,” Anne said.
“She’s lucky to be alive.”
Anne nodded. “That’s why I’m surprised she agreed to ride again.”
Tony felt lower than pond scum. “I didn’t give her a choice. I put her on the horse.”
Anne met his eyes for a long look. “That says a great deal about how she feels about you.”
Hope stirred in him until he remembered that no one knew the whole story.
“Don’t hurt her again, Tony,” Anne said.
“I don’t want to hurt her.” Juliet meant too much to him. Hell, he didn’t even want to contemplate what he’d do when Juliet learned the truth. “Anne, would you mind if I went to change? I’m dripping on the carpet.”
“Of course. How did you both get drenched? It’s not raining out.”
He could feel his ears heat. “We rode to the pond on the Horneswood property.”
“You did know she can’t swim, didn’t you?”
He did now. “Uh, no.”
“No harm done, I’m certain. Why would she be crying over that?”
That was a question he wasn’t going to answer. This argument between him and Jules was their business, not Anne’s.
“If you’ll excuse me.” Tony took the stairs two at a time. He paused in front of Juliet’s bedroom door and listened. He heard a sniff. He cursed softly and then made his way to his room.
Damn, he couldn’t feel worse. He’d fix this mess. He wasn’t going to risk losing Juliet. Not now that he finally realized how much she meant to him.
 
Juliet stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy. Her nose was red. She’d never get past Sophia noticing and calling her out. She leaned forward and banged her head on the bureau.
Love wasn’t supposed to be this hard. Where was the happily ever after all the books talked about? She wanted that kind of love, not this painful variety.
God was punishing her for reading the naughty books. Burning in hell for looking at naughty pictures wasn’t good enough—she had to suffer on earth as well.
Juliet needed an escape from the weight of the questions everyone would ask her, including the maids. Dinner was going to be sheer torture. She crept down the back stairs and out the kitchen door. The air was cool, but the sun was bright, mocking her dark mood.
Tony was driving her insane. How could they start a life together with secrets? If only he would talk to her. They could solve any problem if they did it together.
Juliet found herself by the old cottage, now just a stone shell. Ash from the fire that had almost killed her sister stained the stones, yet grass and vines grew in and around the rubble, a testament to their resilience. Could she also be that resilient?
“You used to live in this hovel, didn’t you?” Mr. Bartleby said behind her.
Juliet jumped. “What are you doing here?”
“Would you believe me if I told you I was trying to find you without your lovesick beau, who seems to always be around?”
“I don’t think that’s likely, is it?”
He chuckled. “You have spirit. I admire that about you.”
Juliet said nothing. She refused to show him that she was afraid of him. The only thing keeping her from running was the knowledge that he might have clues to Tony’s secret.
“You look as if you’ve recovered from your dip in the pond.”
“Yes, I have.” The tension was thick between them.
“Was it truly an accident or were you pushed?” Bartleby asked.
“Tony wouldn’t hurt me.”
“There are many ways in which someone can hurt another, as you are well aware, Miss Juliet,” Bartleby said with a sneer.
Juliet fought to keep her fear under control. What was it about this man? “I do not understand your meaning, sir.”
“Oh, I’m sure you do, all too well,” he said. “Perhaps you should ask Mr. Matthews? I’m sure he’ll be forthcoming with all of his secrets.”
“I’m sure if it’s important, Tony will inform me.”
“Such loyalty. It does you credit, but it will also be your downfall. After the trouble you’ve caused me, I shall enjoy seeing you fall, Miss Juliet.”
“You are no gentleman.”
“Neither is your precious fiancé. Are you sure there are no questions you wish to ask me? Or will you let your lover continue to lie to you?”
Juliet was tempted, more than she thought possible, to question Simon Bartleby, but she wanted to hear the truth from Tony first. “I had better return to the house.”
“Are you afraid, Miss Juliet? Afraid of the truth about the man you’ve chosen to marry?”
He was baiting her, and it was working. “I trust Tony implicitly.”
“Then you are more of a child than I imagined. Life is not a fairy tale, Miss Juliet. I hope you survive the truth.”
Juliet fought to ignore Bartleby and turned to walk back to the house. Tony was coming toward them, a determined scowl on his face.
“Miss Juliet.” He glared at Mr. Bartleby. “What are you doing here?”
“I was asking after Miss Juliet’s welfare. She’s had a nasty scare, thanks to you.”
“It was an accident.” Tony spit the words out like darts.
The tension increased between the two men. Juliet was afraid it would end in fisticuffs. “Mr. Matthews, Mr. Bartleby was just leaving.”
“He shouldn’t even be here.”
“I was hoping for a chance to speak with Miss Juliet. She has a right to know the man she’s chosen to marry.”
Juliet placed her hand on Tony’s arm, hoping to prevent a scene. “I explained to Mr. Bartleby that I would rather hear it from your lips than trust him.”
Her words had the opposite effect than she’d intended; the animosity between the two men seemed to grow even worse. “Please escort me back to the house, Tony,” she said quickly.
“Yes, please see your fiancée back to the house, Mr. Matthews. I shall take my leave,” Mr. Bartleby said. “Perhaps during your romantic stroll you’ll find the courage to tell the lady the truth.”
Mr. Bartleby took the path through the woods, leaving Juliet standing beside Tony. An uncomfortable silence settled between them. She released his arm and wandered over to the old stone fence around the front of the former cottage. She desperately wanted Tony to speak, to finally tell her what was going on.
He said nothing.
“Please, can we talk, Tony?”
“We should return to the house. They will be ringing the gong for dinner.”
Juliet blinked back her tears. “Is this what our life together will be like? You with your secrets and dark moods and me always guessing what is going on?”
“Are you ending the engagement?”
The harshness of his voice tore at her. Juliet didn’t know the depth of his feelings, but he felt something. The pain in his eyes broke her heart. “I don’t know yet.”
“Don’t. Please.”
“Why?”
Tony moved to stand beside her. He leaned against the stone and looked back at the ruins of the cottage. “I miss the days when you lived here. Those were simpler times.”
The change in subject didn’t surprise Juliet. Tony always deflected the conversation when it suited him. There would be no learning his secrets today. Her shoulders slumped. “We had no money. Anne was so afraid we’d freeze to death in that drafty old cottage.”
Tony looked back at her. “Trust me when I tell you, while things might be confusing at the moment, they will be all right. I would not do anything to hurt you.”
Disappointment slid through her. “Of course.”
She longed to rail at him about keeping secrets. She wanted a relationship where they shared everything, like the couples in the novels she read.
But Juliet was too frightened to say anything. She was afraid of losing Tony. She had to hope that whatever this secret was, it wouldn’t destroy her.
“Allow me to escort you back to the house,” Tony said and offered his arm.
Juliet placed her hand on his sleeve. She could not shake the feeling that their relationship had been tested, and that they’d failed miserably.
 
Tony stood by the fire in the parlor growing more discouraged by the minute. Juliet had refused to talk to him, except for a few polite words at dinner.
Now she was sitting in a corner not talking to anyone, hiding behind a book.
Lady Danford sat nearby, sipping her tea. “You’re awfully glum this evening, Anthony.”
Only his grandmother called him Anthony. “I’m perfectly well.”
“Lovers’ spats never last long. You’ll be back in her good graces in no time.”
“I don’t know, Grandmother.”
Lady Danford watched Juliet sitting across the room. “Too bad there’s no music. In my day a dance with a lover was the perfect way to solve a dispute.”
“I doubt one dance will do the trick this time.”
Sophia wandered over to the fire. “You’ve really angered Juliet, Tony. I don’t think she’s ever been this quiet.”
“Not now, Sophia.”
“I encountered Mr. Bartleby earlier today in the village,” Sophia continued, undeterred. “He had some interesting things to say. What were you doing at the pond?”
“Nothing,” Tony muttered. Where was she going with this?
“He says he caught you and Juliet in a rather compromising position,” Sophia said under her voice, glancing at Lady Danford.
“I’m old, I’m not deaf, child. They’re engaged; people tend to overlook a bit of impropriety from an engaged couple.”
“It’s not the first time Mr. Bartleby caught them engaged in some inappropriate behavior,” Sophia said.
“Bartleby is an ass,” Tony mumbled.
“You have been spending a great deal of time with Juliet since you arrived,” Lady Danford said. “I’m very happy with your choice of brides, but you didn’t pay her any mind in Town. It does give one pause.”
He’d been wrapped up in trying to win investors for Nathaniel. He’d been enthralled with being in London. “I do not know why everyone says that. I danced with her at every ball. I attended every function.”
Sophia tilted her head and studied him for a long moment. “I didn’t think that was why you were in attendance.”
“I was in attendance to see Juliet.” Those few minutes dancing with Juliet were the only times during his visits to London when he actually had felt as if he knew himself.
Lady Danford studied him for a long moment. Tony fought the urge to squirm. She had her way of getting information out of him. “She’s liked you for a very long time.”
Sophia pounced. “That’s true. She followed us around like a puppy when you were courting me.”
Tony winced. Sophia always brought that up. As if he were going lower by courting her sister. He knew now that marrying Sophia would have been a huge mistake.
Lady Danford stood. “I’m done in. I’m going up.”
“Good night, Grandmother,” Tony said.
She patted his hand. “Don’t let the sun set on your anger, Son.”
“I won’t.”
Tony made his way to where Juliet was reading by the fire. She looked up from her book but said nothing.

Other books

Mecanoscrito del segundo origen by Manuel de Pedrolo
Charmed Spirits by Carrie Ann Ryan
Scandalous by Candace Camp
She Has Your Eyes by Lorello, Elisa
The District by Carol Ericson
Falling for Autumn by Sherelle Green