An Impossible Secret (3 page)

She found it impossible to focus on her work because she was concerned over what might happen to Brice. Would they throw him out of university? There was a zero-tolerance policy towards violence of any kind.

Just then Brice appeared. Their eyes met, and he smiled.

“Hello again,” he said, as he sat at the next table.

“Are you all right?” she asked.

“Yeah.” He looked confused.

“I heard about Weston,” she said.

“I’m okay. Weston’s not in such good shape though.”

“You’re not in trouble…?”

“No. Why would I be? Did you think I…?”

“No, of course not.”

“It’s all right. I know there’s a rumour doing the rounds, but I didn’t see him again after he left the library.”

Brice was telling the truth. Kerry could always tell if someone was lying.

Jimmy appeared out of nowhere, and perched on the seat next to Brice.

“What are you doing here?” Brice didn’t look happy to see him.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me?” Jimmy said.

“Jimmy, this is Kerry. Kerry, this is my friend Jimmy, who is just about to leave.”

“Pleased to meet you, Kerry.” Jimmy tipped a non-existent hat.

 “Hello.” Kerry smiled. She’d seen Jimmy with Brice several times before, but he'd never made any attempt to speak to her until today. What had changed? Had Brice talked about her to Jimmy?

“I've got plenty of time,” Jimmy said. “I don’t have to leave just yet.”

Jimmy either didn’t see, or he chose to ignore, the look on Brice’s face.

“Brice tells me you’re studying psychology.”

“Yes.” It was all Kerry could manage. She knew now that Brice must have told Jimmy about her.

“So, Kerry, are you two like study-buddies?” Jimmy grinned.

Before Kerry could answer, Brice had taken hold of Jimmy’s arm and was leading him out of the library.

“Nice to meet you, Kerry,” Jimmy called over his shoulder.

“I’m sorry about that,” Brice said when he returned. “Sometimes he can be a complete prat. I’m sorry if he upset you.”

“He didn’t. It’s okay.”

They didn’t speak much for the rest of the day. Every time Kerry looked over at Brice, he had his head in his book. A few times she thought she sensed his gaze on her, but whenever she looked up he was reading.

Even though Kerry had finished all the work she’d planned to do that day, she didn’t leave. She’d promised herself that if he asked her out for a coffee again, she'd say yes. The prospect terrified her, but she was determined to go through with it.

At four o’clock, he packed his books away, said goodbye, and left.

Chapter 10

“You can walk,” Brice said.

“Come on. I was only messing.” Jimmy slid into the passenger seat. “Where are we going?”

“
I’m
going home.”

“Come on man. It’s too nice to go straight home. Let’s go for a drive.”

“Are you paying for the petrol?”

“I’ll give you a tenner.”

“You still owe me the last tenner you promised me.”

“I’ll give you twenty tomorrow. Promise.”

They both knew he wouldn’t because Jimmy was always broke. Brice had no idea what his friend did with his money. He didn’t spend it on clothes—that was for sure.

“Did you ask her out again?” Jimmy shouted. It was the only way he could make himself heard over the music, which he’d turned up to full volume.

“Who?” Brice turned the sound down a few notches.

“Mouse girl.”

“Her name’s Kerry.”

“So, did you ask her out?”

“No. She’s not interested.”

“Are you kidding? Didn’t you see how she looked at you?”

Was Jimmy being serious? Brice could never tell.

Jimmy insisted they drive to Toppers—a small coffee shop on the outskirts of town. Brice hated the place. Jimmy tried to persuade Brice to buy the drinks, but there was a limit to his friend’s gullibility. Brice found a free table on the raised area at the back of the shop.  Courtney Jerome and three of her ‘clan’ were seated two tables away. Brice sat with his back to her in the hope she wouldn’t notice him.

“Hiya. We don’t see you here very often.” Courtney planted herself in the seat next to Brice.

“Hi.” His expression would have been enough for most people to take the hint, and leave him alone, but not Courtney.

“Are you by yourself?” She crossed her legs, causing her short skirt to hitch higher.

“Jimmy’s getting drinks.”

“I don’t know why you knock around with him. He’s such a loser.”

“Jimmy’s okay.”

“Someone talking about me?” Jimmy had a cappuccino in one hand, and a latte in the other.

“Courtney was just asking where you were,” Brice said, without even a hint of a smile.

Jimmy beamed. Courtney scowled. Brice said he had to go to the loo, and left the two of them alone.

“I’ll never understand women,” Jimmy said when Brice returned.

“Where’s Courtney?”

“She took off with her friends.”

“What did you say to upset her?”

“I didn’t get a chance to say anything. As soon as you left, she took off.”

“Strange.” Brice smiled.

“What about you and the mouse? Kerry?”

“What about us?”

“So there is an ‘us’?” Jimmy grinned.

“No, there isn’t an ‘us’. I just helped her out when Weston was giving her a hard time.”

“And then you threw him down the stairs.”

“I…”

“I’m joking.”

“Not funny.”

“Have you asked her out?”

Brice hesitated. “No.”

“You have, haven’t you?”

“I asked if she wanted to go for coffee.”

“She said no.” Jimmy laughed. “That’s brilliant. Almost every girl in uni wants to get into your pants, and you pick the one girl who doesn't.”

“I just asked her for coffee—no big deal.”

“Wrong. This is a big deal, a very big deal. It’s made my day.”

“I’m glad you find it so funny. I hope you’re still laughing when you’re walking home.”

Chapter 11

Most of the students looked forward to Friday evenings—not Kerry. She enjoyed her studies and, even though she hadn’t made any friends yet, preferred to be at university rather than stuck at home with her mum.

It was another hot day. Kerry wished she’d worn a skirt instead of jeans. The walk home was mostly uphill. She’d considered taking the bus, but then remembered it had no air conditioning.

“Kerry! Wait!”

She turned around to see Jimmy running towards her.

“It’s too hot for this,” he said. He was red in the face, and struggling to catch his breath.

“Are you okay?” Kerry asked.

Jimmy nodded, but didn’t speak again for a few seconds.

“You have to promise me something,” he said at last. 

“What?”

“I need you to promise you won't tell Brice I’ve spoken to you.”

“Why?”

“Do you promise?”

“I suppose so.”

“The thing is.” Jimmy looked around as though he thought they might be overheard. “Brice is a really shy guy.”

“He is?”

“I know it doesn’t seem that way. He’s good-looking—a bit of a jock. But, underneath all of that, he’s really insecure.”

Kerry studied Jimmy’s face. He wasn’t smiling, and appeared to be sincere.

“It took a lot of courage for him to ask you out for coffee. He isn't used to asking a girl out—they usually ask him.”

Kerry was trying to process the information. From what she’d seen, Brice didn’t need to ask girls out—they swarmed around him. Could Jimmy be telling the truth? Was Brice really shy?

“He was devastated when you turned him down. It knocked his self-confidence for six.”

“I didn’t mean to… I had no idea… ”

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. It’s just that…”

“What?”

“I’m not sure he’ll get over the rejection. Unless…” Jimmy hesitated.

“What?”

“If he was to ask again, would you agree to go out with him? Even if you don’t like him—maybe you could just go for a coffee—if only to restore his self-confidence.”

“He won't ask.”

“I’m thinking maybe he will. If he does, will you say yes?”

“Of course.”

“Great—thanks.”

Jimmy rushed off before she had the chance to ask more questions. She never would have believed someone like Brice could be insecure. She hadn't intended to hurt his feelings.

Jimmy seemed confident that Brice would ask her out again. Suddenly she had a spring in her step. While the idea of going out with Brice terrified her, it excited her even more.

Chapter 12

Kerry's mum found Lizzie in Kerry's bedroom.

“I told you I didn’t want to see you again,” Kerry’s mum said. “Kerry doesn’t want anything to do with you.”

“Says you.” Lizzie spat the words.

“Says Kerry. She's much happier now she doesn’t have to put up with your bullshit.”

“She’s wasting her time at university.”

“It’s her life.”

“You know it’s pointless. Why don’t you admit it? Psychology? What good is that going to do her?”

“I’m not arguing with you. It’s got nothing to do with you. Kerry can make her own decisions.”

“Bad ones.”

“I want you out of here.”

Lizzie wanted to grab Kerry’s mum by the throat, and squeeze the life out of her. She'd be doing everyone a favour. Kerry's mum had never been there for her daughter. Lizzie had always been the one who'd had Kerry’s back.

“There’s a guy,” Lizzie said.

“What do you mean?”

The look on Kerry's mum’s face confirmed what Lizzie suspected. Kerry hadn’t told her.

“Some arsehole has been chatting her up.”

“Who? What’s his name?”

“I thought you were close to Kerry. How come she hasn’t told you?” Lizzie taunted.

“What’s his name?”

“Brice. Stupid fucking name.”

“Has she been seeing him?”

“What do you think? Your little princess has turned into a whore.”

“You’re a liar.”

Lizzie grinned. She knew she’d hit a nerve.

“Get away from me. I never want to see you again. Leave Kerry alone.”

Chapter 13

When Kerry woke on Saturday morning, she had an almighty headache. It was several minutes before she could summon up the strength to lift her head off the pillow. The sun was already high in the sky—what time was it? The owl clock, which she’d had since she was six years old, showed almost midday. She needed aspirin.

“Kerry?” her mum called from downstairs.

She didn’t answer. All her energy was focussed on making it to the bathroom. Her reflection told its own story. As she swallowed the second tablet, she heard footsteps on the stairs. She really didn’t need this.

“Kerry?”

“What?”

“You look terrible.”

“Thanks. I think I’ll go back to bed. I’ve got a migraine.”

“When were you going to tell me about your boyfriend?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Don’t lie to me Kerry.”

“I’m not lying.”

“I knew this would happen.”

“Nothing’s happened.”

“So, who’s Brice?”

Kerry hesitated. How could her mum know?

“He’s just someone I spoke to in the library.”

“Are you sleeping with him?”

“What? Are you crazy? Of course I’m not. I’ve only ever spoken to him a couple of times.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I’m going back to bed.” Kerry slammed the bedroom door closed behind her.

She thought for a moment that her mum might follow her into the bedroom, so she was relieved to hear footsteps going downstairs. It had always been the same—Kerry had never been able to keep secrets from her mum. She had no privacy—no life of her own.

She'd never imagined that Brice might be shy or insecure. She’d assumed he was brimming with self-confidence. It just proved what she already knew—humans were complex beings. It was one of the reasons she'd chosen to study psychology. She wanted to understand people better—starting with herself. Would he ask her out again? Jimmy had seemed confident he would. The weekend was going to drag even more than usual. She’d be on tenterhooks until she was back at university on Monday.

Chapter 14

“You’re a liar,” Brice said. He sometimes wondered why he wasted his time with Jimmy.

“It’s the truth. Cross my heart.”

“That’s not your heart. That's your stomach.”

“Is it? Are you sure?” Jimmy wasn't great on anatomy. “Anyway, I’m not lying.”

“When did you speak to her?” Brice demanded.

“I told you. I bumped into her in the cafe.”

“When?”

“Friday.”

“This is such bullshit.”

“Okay. Don’t believe me. If you can live with yourself—knowing you’ve destroyed her.”

Brice knew Jimmy was lying, and yet, there was a small part of him that wanted to believe.

“Tell me again,” Brice said.

“We got talking, and she said she wished she hadn’t said 'no' when you asked her out. That’s it.”

“That’s all?”

“I said to her: if Brice asked you out again—would you say yes? She said she would, but that you were never going to.”

Brice shook his head. “So what do you expect me to do?”

“Ask her out again, but you mustn’t let her know I’ve said anything or that will make her feel bad.”

“And what if she says no again.”

“She won’t—trust me.”

‘Trust me’—how many times had Brice heard those words from Jimmy? Too many. Just for once, he hoped he could rely on his friend.

Chapter 15

The weekend had been even more of a nightmare than usual. Not only had Kerry had a killer migraine for most of Saturday, she’d also had to put up with her mum’s constant interrogation. Kerry knew why her mum worried, but that didn’t make it any less painful.