An Indecent Longing (25 page)

Pressing a kiss to the back of her neck, he eased her around so he could kiss her. Beneath his lips, he felt hers curve in a smile before she kissed him back.

He pulled away so he could look into her eyes. “Feel better?”

She blushed as she smiled, her eyes dipping away for a second before meeting his again. “Actually, yes. So I guess I should say thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

“And I’m sorry I lied earlier. I guess I just didn’t want to get into an argument about who I was treating.”

“So who were you treating?”

She swallowed hard. “One of Antonoff’s men.”

Careful now.
“I figured. He gonna be okay?”

“Yes.”

“Because you’re that good.”

Her smile made a comeback and, damn, he wanted to throw her over his shoulder and run upstairs with her. Then his phone vibrated, telling him Ian had just opened the garage door.

“Why don’t you go ahead and get changed and we’ll figure out what to do about dinner?”

Her eyebrows rose. “He’s home, isn’t he?”

“Yep. You want to welcome him home the way you did me?”

That blush showed again but it was definitely heat and not embarrassment.

“I don’t think he’d let me.”

“Honey, you have no idea what he’ll let you do.”

They both heard the garage side door open and knew Ian was headed for the back door.

“I think I’ll just go change.”

And she was gone, panties clutched in her hand.

She disappeared up the stairs just as Ian opened the back door into the kitchen.

“Hey.”

Ian nodded, tossing his keys on the same counter where Ben and Dorrie had just had sex.

“Anything I need to know?”

Shit.
“No.”

Ian shot him a look. “Why don’t I believe you?”

“Maybe because you’re a suspicious son of a bitch.”

“And I’m usually right. But I’m too hungry to fight with you. Where’s Dorrie?”

“Upstairs.”

Ian grunted and headed for the front room and the stairs.

And Ben breathed a heavy sigh but felt no sense of relief.

* * * * *

Ian pushed open the bathroom door and stepped into his bedroom in a rush of steam. Ben kept the air conditioning at an almost-too-cold seventy-five.

But it wasn’t cool enough when he found Dorrie sitting on the far side of his bed.

He stopped dead between the bed and the bathroom. “What’s wrong?”

She shrugged. “Nothing. It’s just…we haven’t really talked all week.”

Damn, why did one word fill him with dread? Then again, “talk” was a four-letter word. “Is there something we need to talk about?”

She shrugged again, and damn if he didn’t let his gaze fall to her breasts, mostly hidden by the loose t-shirt she wore over a pair of soccer shorts.

Fuck.

“Maybe I’m just tired of being ignored.”

Damn it. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have in his bedroom, where images of her laid out naked on his bed crammed his brain and made his dick hard.

“I haven’t been ignoring you.”

Which was total bullshit. And she knew.

“Yes, you have.” She lifted her chin and met his gaze directly. “And I’m sick of walking on eggshells around you. Are you ever going to get past the fact that I work for Antonoff?”

The question hit him like a punch to the gut. He hadn’t been ready for her to challenge him so boldly.

“This isn’t a conversation I want to have right now.”

“And when will you want to have this conversation? Because I’m not sure I’m willing to wait much longer.”

“Why are you pushing this now?”

“Because I’m tired of you treating me like a leper. You either want me or you don’t, but I’m done feeling like I have to apologize for the sins you think I’ve committed.”

“I have never accused you of anything.”

Dorrie shook her head. “You don’t have to say the words. It’s in your eyes when you look at me, and if that’s the way you feel, I’m going to leave.”

He’d closed half the distance between them before he knew he’d moved. “Goddammit, Dorrie, that’s not the answer.”

“Really? Because right now that feels like the only option I have. And I am sick of feeling like I need to apologize every damn time you look at me.”

The look she gave him made him want to crowd her back on the bed and force her to agree to stay right here for hours while he gorged himself on her body.

“I’m looking at you know and the last thing I want you to do is apologize.”

His voice sounded thick, his longing for her etched in every syllable. He was almost embarrassed by it until he saw the answering heat in her eyes.

In a split second, Ian grabbed her upper arms and pulled her off the bed and into his arms. With one arm strapped around her waist, he cupped her jaw in his free hand and held her gaze. He wouldn’t let her look away, wanted her to see him coming the entire way.

She froze, eyes wide.

He bent to her, tilting her head just enough for him to get the right angle on the kiss to make it deep. His tongue slid between her lips and licked at hers, the intimacy not unwelcome. Nothing about this man was unwelcome.

Her hands found their way to his hips and she pulled him closer, letting him know he could have what he wanted from her. And maybe that was the completely wrong thing to do but, damn, it felt so right.

Her warm lips moved against his, returning his kiss with a passion that threatened to undo the rest of his restraint. Letting himself sink into her kiss, he sucked in all of the sweet heat she poured into him.

His constant ache to touch her only got worse now that he had his hands on her, and he knew he had to stop now or he’d push her back on the bed and take her.

And that could destroy his concentration on her safety. That meant more to him than getting laid.

But for the next several seconds, he soaked in all her heat.

Then he lifted his head, put his hands on her shoulders, and put space between them.

“When you’re safe, we’ll continue this because there is nothing I want more than to lay you out on that bed and sink inside you. But I can’t do that and keep you safe. Do you understand?”

Sucking in a deep breath, she nodded and took a step back and away.

“But make no mistake, Dorrie. We will have that conversation. It just isn’t going to be today.”

Saturday morning, Ian drummed his fingers against the steering wheel waiting for the light to change.

They were a couple blocks away from Haven Hotel, where Dorrie needed to meet a patient for a private consult.

In the rearview, he kept an eye on the increasingly heated discussion between Ben and Dorrie. He’d kept out of it so far, mainly because Ben was handling it better than Ian would have.

“I don’t see why I have to stay at your house all the time. My building is secure. I understand there’ve been threats made but—”

“And whoever made those threats has already made one attempt to take you. If you stay at our place, we don’t have to worry about unfamiliar territory and collateral damage. You probably don’t know half the people who live in your building—”

“What does that have to do…”

While Ben and Dorrie continued to go back and forth, Ian stepped on the gas when the light changed.

And kept an eye on the black sedan three cars behind them.

He’d noticed it about five blocks ago. Traffic in the city wasn’t heavy but this car always stayed behind them and never got close enough for Ian to get a look at the driver. Maybe he was being paranoid but given the situation…probably not.

He hadn’t wanted to say anything to Ben because he didn’t want to upset Dorrie.

“I still don’t think it’s necessary for round-the-clock protection. Blank doesn’t—”

“Blank isn’t here but if he were, he’d say the same thing. You need a twenty-four-seven guard and our house is the safest…”

Ian let them fade out again. He had no doubt Ben would win this argument because there really was no other choice. She would continue to stay at their house because that’s where she would be safest. End of discussion.

Without turning on his signal, he took the next right.

And watched that black sedan make the same turn. “Ben.”

“We are
not
trying to run your life.” Ben sounded as if he were gritting his teeth. “We are trying to make sure you’re safe—”

“
Ben.
”

Ian practically barked his cousin’s name, causing Dorrie and Ben to stare at him.

“What?”

“We’ve got a tail.”

Dorrie’s expression screwed up into a frown as she stared at him from the backseat. “What do you—”

“Where?” Ben snapped to attention with head-spinning speed, his focus arrowed onto Ian.

“Three cars back. Black sedan. Been there at least five blocks.”

“You wanna try to lose him now?”

“Yeah. I’m not taking any chances. Dorrie, eyes forward. Make sure your belt’s tight.”

Checking on her in the rearview, he saw her eyes widen as her teeth lodged in her lower lip and felt compelled to add, “It’ll be okay.”

And damn, he hoped he hadn’t just lied to her because the car moved up one spot. Traffic was a little more congested on this street. Shit. If the other car made a move, it’d be hard for Ian to maneuver, and if they needed to use weapons, there were a lot of people on the streets and in surrounding cars. Too much collateral damage.

“Hang on.”

Swinging the wheel to the left, he gauged the break in traffic and stomped on the gas pedal, shooting them into the next lane and down the street, eliciting a chorus of angry honks.

For the next five minutes, he tried to lose their tail but whoever was behind the wheel of that car was good.

Any other time, Ian would be pumped at the game. But not with Dorrie’s safety at stake.

And when he realized he’d been outmaneuvered as another car joined the chase, he knew he had only one play.

“Call Adam.” He exchanged a glance with Ben in the rearview. “And call Marcov. Tell them we’re heading toward Broad out to the stadium—fuck!”

The light at the next intersection changed and he had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting the group of pedestrians who obliviously stepped into the street.

And Ian saw a third car slot in beside him.

“Ben.”

“I know.”

The passenger in the car next to them looked straight at Ian and rolled down his window.

“Our boss would like a word with Ms. Haverstick.”

“She respectfully declines.”

“It won’t take long. He assures you he only wants to talk and he’ll guarantee her safety.”

“Since I have no idea who your boss is, you’ll understand why I’m not jumping at your offer.”

“James Tosto. Google him. Not sure you’ll find much but there might be something you can use.”

“I still think she’ll pass.”

The guy shrugged, like he’d expected Ian’s answer. “Then I guess you’ll just need to have Ms. Haverstick deliver a message.”

Ian’s jaw locked. “There’s no need for her to be involved.”

The guy continued as if Ian hadn’t spoken. “Mr. Tosto would like Mr. Antonoff to know he only wishes to open a line of communication. Ms. Haverstick is in no danger from Mr. Tosto. Just have her tell her father to contact Mr. Tosto.”

All the air left his lungs in a rush as Ian’s brain made connections he didn’t want to make.

And from the backseat, he heard Dorrie gasp.

Holy fuck.

Dorrie felt her head spin as the man who’d just blown apart her world drove away without a backward glance.

“Dorrie?” Ben sounded as if he was speaking from underwater as the car moved forward. “You need to breathe. Come on. Shake it off.”

“Is it true?”

She blinked as Ian’s question made it through the fog in her brain.

“Ian,” Ben growled. “Not now.”

“My appointment—”

“Is canceled.” Ian again. “We’re going back to the house so you can tell us what the fuck is going on.”

“Ian,” Ben snapped at him. “Take it down.”

In the rearview mirror, she saw the look Ian leveled at her and her tongue twisted in knots. She didn’t think she could’ve said another word if she’d tried.

Amazingly, Ian kept quiet as well but she knew as soon as they got back to their home, all bets were off.

Pulling her phone out of her purse, she texted Risa to let her know she wouldn’t be there. Told her she had an emergency at work and would call her as soon as she could. That would keep her sister placated for a few hours at least.

Ian would never be placated. And she was pretty sure she knew whose side Ben would end up on as well.

By the time Ian parked his car in the garage, Dorrie felt sick to her stomach with anxiety but she followed Ian into the house, Ben at her back.

She thought he’d light into her right away. Instead, he headed for the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, which he drank half of before turning back to her.

But still he didn’t say anything.

“Dorrie.” Ben deliberately stepped in front of her, blocking her view of Ian. “Is it true? Is Antonoff your father?”

No sense in lying now.

“Dorrie?”

If she answered that question honestly, would they betray her trust? Her dad had been right. It wasn’t just her life she was potentially screwing up. It was her mom’s, too.

And if you choose wrong?

She could lose everything.

And if you don’t come clean?

These men might never forgive her.

She swallowed, took a deep breath. “Our relationship is complicated.”

“Aren’t most?” Ben held her gaze. “My mom was a drug addict. She loved me but she loved getting high more. Thank God her mom, my gram, took me in when my mom finally couldn’t fight the addiction anymore. When I was six, she overdosed for the fourth time and Gram got full custody.”

His matter-of-fact tone cleared a little of the fog in her head.

“She’s been sober for four years this time and I try to tell myself she’s kicked it but honestly, there are nights I lie awake and wait for the call from the hospital or the cops.”

Her heart hurt for Ben, breaking the icy cold grip of fear around her heart. “Yes, he’s my father. He and my mom agreed to keep it secret. He’s not listed on my birth certificate. I didn’t know until I was eight.”

Behind Ben, Ian’s head dropped back and she saw his eyes close and his jaw flex. She expected him to say something now but his mouth stayed closed.

“Okay.” Ben’s voice soothed. “A few things make more sense now. Does anyone else know?”

She swallowed hard. “As far as I know, only my sister.”

“Obviously,” Ian’s voice still held a sharp edge, “someone else found out.”

“I don’t know how anyone would’ve found out. My parents and sister never would. And I never have.”

Except for them. And Ian looked like he didn’t want to know.

“Antonoff has more than enough enemies out there.” Ian crossed his arms over his chest, his icy calm spreading out to encompass her as well. “He is a killer, after all.”

Tears sprang into her eyes but she couldn’t dispute his statement.

As if her silence spurred him on, Ian held her gaze. “He sold the drugs Ben’s mom OD’d on. And he sure as shit had my dad killed.”

The pit in her stomach threatened to swallow her whole. “What?”

“My dad was killed in prison. The warden said he got in the middle of a fight and took a shiv to the leg. Bled out in minutes. My dad was no saint. He worked for Bellamy back then, right after Bellamy took over the South Philly territory. Right when your daddy was starting to make a name for himself. Bellamy and Antonoff didn’t get along and my dad got shanked in prison by one of Antonoff’s men. I don’t have a medical degree but even I can make the connections there.”

Tears formed but she blinked them back. Ian wouldn’t care and they’d only make her feel weak.

“Ian, shut the
fuck
up.” Ben got in her line of sight again. “Dorrie? You really need to breathe.”

She was. Barely. But her heart was beating so hard and fast she wasn’t sure it wouldn’t just pop. Which she knew was a physical impossibility but…

“Whoa, all right,” Ben said. “Come on, maybe you better sit down.”

She shook her head. “No, I need to go.”

Ben’s hand tightened on her shoulder, not threatening but enough to let her know she’d get a fight if she tried to leave. “No. You don’t. We’ll work this out—”

“She’s right. She has a message to deliver to her father.”

Ian’s calm tone cut sharper than if he’d raised his voice. And made her back straighten.

“He’s right. I need to talk to my dad. I need to tell him what’s going on.”

And she wasn’t wanted here. This was Ian’s home. Not hers. And he wanted her gone, which he made completely clear by turning and walking out of the house through the back door.

“Sonuvabitch.”

Ben’s muttered curse made her heart ache, and the frustration on his face made her stomach roll.

“I need you to drive me to my dad’s.”

“Jesus, Dorrie—”

“I need to get out of here.”

Ben’s grimace was fierce. “We need to talk this out.”

“No, we don’t.”

Ben’s mouth flattened into a straight line. “Fuck that. Don’t leave like this.”

“You and Ian are family and I don’t want to come between you.”

“Honey, don’t you know, that’s exactly where I want you?”

She sucked in a short breath. “Even though you know who I really am?”

“I knew who you were before I found out about your father. You are
not
your father. You’re smart and sweet and a little shy and sexy as hell. And I’m not going to step aside and let you think I don’t care.”

She stared at him for several seconds and he was pretty sure he saw tears in her eyes before she turned away.

“Look, if you don’t want to stay here, let me take you to Adam’s.”

She didn’t look away from the side window she was staring out of. “No. I don’t want to involve anyone else in this.”

My dad will take care of this. It’s better for you and Ian to get out now.”

“Is that really what you want?”

She couldn’t hold his gaze. “Please don’t make this more difficult than it already is.”

“I’m not trying to. But don’t shut us out because you think you’re keeping us safe.”

She shook her head. “It’s not just about me. You should understand that.”

Then she turned and walked toward the stairs.

“Dorrie! Damn it. Stop.”

She did, but only long enough to say, “I’m calling Gens. It won’t take him long to get here. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me but we’re done.”

She disappeared up the stairs and he heard the door to his room close with a bare whisper of sound.

* * * * *

As Ian pulled into the lane leading to Antonoff’s home, the gates opened as if by magic.

He’d called ahead to let Antonoff know he was coming but hadn’t told him why. He wanted to tell the bastard that he knew his dirty little secret to his face.

He hadn’t left home with the intention of coming here. He’d only had to get out of the house. Get away from Dorrie. Away from the lies.

Rage curdled in his gut, made his jaw tight enough to snap. He wanted to smash something but he knew he couldn’t be that stupid, especially because the something he wanted to smash was Antonoff’s face.

Which was, of course, the stupidest thing he could do.

Stopping in front of that grand manor, Ian took a second to breathe, even though the front door had opened and a thug in a suit had stepped out onto the circular driveway.

As he headed for the entrance, he saw Antonoff in the foyer just inside the door. Stone-faced, as always. Ian had the almost uncontrollable urge to rip the man’s head off but before he could speak, Antonoff beat him to the punch.

“Mr. Keller. I’ve already been informed of your meeting with Tosto’s men. I want to thank you again for your assistance—”

“Daddy.” A woman’s voice interrupted. “The man already knows who she is. Please, just stop.”

Ian had seen pictures of Larisa Antonoff, who now came hurrying down the stairs. But he’d never noticed the family resemblance between Dorrie and Larisa until now. Of course, he hadn’t known to look for one before now. And in all of those pictures, he’d only seen the icy reserve that must be an Antonoff family trait.

Now, fear showed in every line on her face as she stopped at the end of the stairs and put her hand on Ian’s forearm. He had to make a conscious effort not to pull away.