An Old-Fashioned Christmas (4 page)
Read An Old-Fashioned Christmas Online
Authors: Patrick Regan
O
ne false move and Miss Prettybox gets a cardboard spike through the throat.
Y
es, Virginia. You do make us feel horny.
A
s choir director, Father Arnold spent countless hours training the boys to produce full-throated, round tones. No special reason.
E
xcuse me, Miss Thang…
are you deaf or just a stone-cold bitch? I
asked
who does your hair.
N
o one would ever,
ever
, call him Howdy Doody again.
O
kay, kiddies. Here we are at Santa’s workshop. See all the jolly little elves making Santa’s toys and sprinkling fairy dust over everything? Yes. It’s a magical place. Merry Christmas from Santa’s sweat… uh, workshop, kiddies.
S
tupid, lucky, sick war orphans—they get all the special treatment.
O
n Dimples! On Vixen!
On Sweet Cheeks!
Santa’s late for happy hour!
