An Unexpected Christmas (19 page)

'Oh.'
He seemed disappointed and a little sad. 'Is she okay?'

'She
will be.' I nodded, and sent him a reassuring smile. I moved to reach for the
door handle. 'We should probably head downstairs.'

'One
thing before we do.' He stopped me with a gentle hand on my arm and pulled me
to him with a wolfish smile, kissing me deeply and soundly on the lips. 'I need
something to get me through the rest of the evening.'

April

Ella had been antsy since she
called Roddy and informed me that he was coming round. I had tried to calm her
by pouring her a stiff drink and chatting to her. 'So what did you say to Roddy
when you called?'

Ella shuffled in her seat; we
were lounging out on the sofa picking at the last few chocolates in one of the
tins. 'Well it was really noisy, he has quite a big family so he apologised
then after a few seconds it went quiet and he said he was hiding in the
bathroom.' She giggled. 'I thanked him for my bracelet.' She twisted one of the
charms between her fingers and smiled.

'And what did he say?' I couldn't
help grinning at her, she looked so happy and excited but her nervousness was
still showing.

'He said that he was glad that I
liked it and he had been worried that I wouldn't.' She looked up from her
wrist. 'He said that he wanted to get me something meaningful, something that
he could add to each year. That's when I invited him round. I needed to see him
and I thought because it wasn't as crazy over here as it was there that it
would be easier to speak to him alone.'

Her smile wavered and I could see
that she was second guessing her choice in inviting him over. 'That's good. You
guys should talk in private,' I sent her a cheeky grin, 'and, you know, kiss in
private too.'

Her eyes widened as did her smile
and she playfully pushed me in the arm. 'You are so bad.'

'I'm not, you know you want to.'
I stuck my tongue out at her.

She let out a dreamy sigh,
'yeah.'

She looked at me and we both
burst into laughter. I hadn't had a really close girl friend before and I
realised now that I had found in Ella what I had been missing.        We were
still laughing when the doorbell rang but the chimes cut though our laughter
and Ella stopped to stare at me, all of her nervousness coming back in an
instant.

'Will you get it?' She asked,
grabbing my hand and I could feel her twitching her foot nervously next to me.

Maggie had popped out to visit
one of her elderly neighbours and Nate was sitting slumped in my chair, scotch
glass dangling from the tips of his fingers, eyes closed and nodding away to
whatever it was that was playing on his iPod.

I smiled at her. 'You want me to
answer the door to a house where I am a guest?' I was teasing her and I knew it
was mean but I couldn't resist. I had answered the door just yesterday to Roddy
and it hadn't felt weird. In fact I felt so at home here it was odd and scary
and I knew would just add to the fall out once I had left. I wouldn't be coming
back to this amazing place and that feeling sat heavy in the pit of my stomach
but I had to suck it up and be happy for Ella.

'Please,' she whined.

I laughed and walked out of the
room to the front door. Turning the lock I pulled it open and standing in the
snow was Roddy looking about as nervous as Ella. I sent him a reassuring smile
and stood to one side to let him in.

'Merry Christmas,’ he said as he
moved into the hallway and stamped his feet on the mat.

'Merry Christmas.' I closed the
door behind him, 'are you having a nice day?'

'It's been good, hoping it's
about to get a little better.' He smiled shyly at me and pulled his coat off
throwing it over the banister. He was dressed smartly in tailored dark blue
trousers and a matching blue shirt and I had to admit he looked good if a
little rumpled; it was Christmas Day after all and Ella did mention he had a
large family so I couldn't hold it against him.

'I'm sure it will. Ella is just
in here.' He followed me into the living room where Ella was now standing
waiting for us. When Ella and Roddy's eyes met I knew that Nate and I
disappeared and there was only the two of them.

'Hi.' Ella moved around the sofa
and came to stand in front of him, a small smile on her face. I looked from one
to the other and smiled then walked around the sofa and dropped myself back
into my seat.

I turned my head and saw Roddy
take a step towards her. 'Hello.' His smile was filled with so much love that I
knew they would be alright.

'How are you?' Ella asked playing
with her bracelet but not taking her eyes off his.

'I'm good; I spent two hours
playing dolls with my nieces so your call came just at the right time.' His
smile was broad and it lit up is eyes.

They stood there just looking at
each other and the silence built. 'Ella maybe Roddy would like a drink...' I
prompted. '...or something to eat? From the kitchen…'

Ella looked over at me, a blank
expression on her face until what I had said sank in. She turned back to Roddy
and smiled. 'Yes, you need a drink.' She took his hand and led him away.

I turned back and settled myself
in my seat picking my glass up and taking a sip, smiling and laughing to
myself.

'What's funny?' Nate had removed
his headphones and was watching me. He was still slumped in the chair, legs
apart and his shirt looked about as rumpled as Roddy's did. I had the
overwhelming urge to settle myself in his lap, tuck my head under his chin and
close my eyes.

'Your sister and her new
boyfriend.' I took another sip of my champagne. I'm sure Ella and Roddy were
getting to know each other on a more intimate level in the kitchen right now
and images of my own intimate actions there flooded my mind.

'New boyfriend? When did that
happen?' Nate looked at me quizzically. He was so adorable when he didn't know
what was going on and I did.

'Oh I'm guessing in about thirty
seconds.' I smiled at him and he sent me a small smile back. He took a
leisurely sip of his scotch then let the glass dangle from his fingers again,
swirling the amber liquid around the glass, the glass that I had bought for him
and that sight widened my smile. His expression changed and he looked quite
serious, I felt my smile waver and a bad feeling began to develop in my
stomach.

'I think we should talk about
what happens after today.' The bad feeling that had started was pretty
prominent now. 'You go home tomorrow and I'm heading to Miami the day after.'
Was he ending it? It would make it simpler even if it did break my heart but it
wouldn't be self inflicted and I would have been right, that I wasn't good
enough for him. He looked down into his glass as if he was trying to find the
right words and they were somewhere at the bottom of his drink. 'I know we
haven't known each other very long but I don't want whatever we have to end. I
care about you and I know it will be hard being away from each other so early
in our relationship but I want to give us a chance.'

He looked back up at me and
waited for my response. I swallowed but my mouth was too dry. I picked up my
glass and downed the entire contents then placed it back on the table. This
wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to say those things. I didn't
know what to do, or what to say.

'April?' He leaned forward and
placed his glass on the table then stood and moved to my side, sitting on the
sofa next to me and taking my hand in his.

I looked up into his face and I
could see the worry there, but there was also hope. What was I doing? How was I
going to walk away from him? Maybe we could work? Maybe... I was being silly
again, I knew I had to do the right thing and having made my decision I had to
stick to it and be strong, for the both of us.

'Can I think about it?' The words
came out of my mouth before I even had a chance to really think about them.

He brushed his free hand across
my cheek and behind my ear and smiled. 'Of course you can.' He glanced at the
kitchen door then leaned in and pressed his lips quickly to mine. My eyes
closed at his touch and my heart beat faster as it always did when he kissed
me. I had to hold back the sadness that came flooding into me with the kiss and
when he pulled back and smiled at me the sadness stayed.

I sent him a small smile then
picked my glass back up and showing it to him I slipped my hand from his and
stood. 'I need a refill.' I didn't wait for his reaction just made my way out
of the living room and into the kitchen.

When I walked in Ella and Roddy
were in each other's arms, kissing. I cleared my throat as loudly as I could
and they quickly pulled apart both looking flushed and a little guilty. I
couldn't help smiling at them; they did make an adorable couple.

'Just came in for another drink.
Pretend I'm not here.' I moved to the fridge and pulled it open. I pretended to
look for something while they whispered and then I pulled out the practically
empty bottle of champagne I had been drinking slowly for the past couple of
hours. I turned around to pour myself a glass and only Ella was left in the
room.

'Oh, where did Roddy go? I didn't
frighten him off did I?'

Ella grinned at me. 'No, he's
just nipped to the bathroom.' She let out a happy sigh and leaned against the
counter. I finished pouring my drink then took a big gulp and placed my glass
back on the side then noticed that her smile had waivered and she was watching
me. 'What's up with you?'

I sent her an innocent look.
'Nothing.' I smiled then turned to put the bottle back in the fridge. 'So are
you going to tell me what happened?'

She grinned at me and I knew I
was safe for a little while. 'April, he said he loves me.'

I grinned back at her then pulled
her into a hug. 'I'm so happy for you. He seems like a genuinely lovely guy.' I
ended the hug and moved to pick my glass back up.

'He really is. He said that he
fancied me from the moment he met me and for all these years didn't think I
would ever feel the same. Then apparently he spoke to Nate last night and then
Daniel told him that he wouldn't know unless he asked, and I am so glad that he
did.' She laughed and couldn't stop smiling. 'I love him. I am in love with him
and he loves me and it feels wonderful.' She was grinning like a fool and she
looked beautiful because of it.

'I'm really happy for you, both
of you.' I couldn't help but be happy for her, she deserved it so much and she
was such a good person who deserved all the love she could get. I lifted my
glass and took a slightly more lady like sip.

Ella tilted her head to one side.
'If only I could see you this happy.'

I looked at her over the top of
my glass then slowly lowered it and my gaze. 'I don't think I deserve to be as
happy as you are.' I looked back up at her and saw the sadness in her face. I
hated myself for breaking through her happiness and poisoning it with my own
self doubt. 'Ignore me, I have been reading far too many romance novels.' I
smiled at her. 'And I think I have drank too much champagne and not enough
coffee. Are you and Roddy going to come back into the living room or are you
going to spend the rest of the evening snogging in the kitchen?'

Ella giggled. 'We will come and
join you in a minute.'

I smiled back at her then took a
deep breath and wandered back into the living room. I just had to get thought
the rest of the evening and tomorrow morning and then it will all be over.

Nate
had moved and was looking out of the window and I took a moment to take in the
sight of him. He stood, one hand in the pocket of his trousers the other still
clutching his glass. His back was to me and I noticed how his shirt clung to
the muscles of his back and then tapered at his waist. He was tall, really tall
but not in an awkward way, he didn't stoop like most tall men I knew, he stood
up straight and proud and I admired that. He stood at an angle and so I could
see the profile of his face, that long nose and high cheekbones, broad forehead
which all pooled together to make the most perfect face. I loved him and it was
killing me. I went and stood by the fire and watched the flames flicker in the
grate trying to figure out what I was actually going to say to him when the
time came.

Nate

I knew the instant she came back
into the room. I didn't have to turn around to know it. I was looking out of
the window and staring at my car which now seemed like such a frivolous
purchase. Yes I worked hard to earn it and it was an amazing car but what did
that matter. It was just something else to own but it didn't really make me
happy, not like April did.

When I thought about her, or was
near her, or if something reminded me of her, I was filled with all these
feelings of hope, excitement and love. It was unnerving and astounding in equal
measure and I wanted to tell everyone that I had found her. That I finally
understood what it was to be head over heels in love. I thought I knew before,
hell I have had to act it before, but I don't think I ever really knew until
now. The only problem was that I could feel her slipping away. I wanted to push
but I could tell that if I did I would lose her and I would rather take my time
and have her feel comfortable than not be with her.

I wanted to know what she was
thinking and to talk through any worries she might be having but it was finding
the opportunity to be alone with her. I thought about asking her to go for a
walk but then would Ella get suspicious? The sneaking around might be exciting
but it was also frustrating and I was looking forward to just being normal with
her. Just spending some time in Miami with her, strolling along the boardwalk,
maybe visiting the botanical gardens and there was a stunning monastery that I
wanted to take her to. I just wanted to be with her.

'Is there something going on?' I
turned at Ella's voice and saw that April had turned too. She was standing next
to the fire and she looked stunning in the firelight, her brown hair glowed and
looked almost red.

I moved my gaze to my sister who
seemed to have a firm hold of Roddy's hand. 'What do you mean?'

'Well, you are both just standing
there.' She looked from me and then to April who then looked back at me with a
look I couldn't read.

I sent her a small smile then
drew my attention back to Ella. 'Nothing's going on, well not in here anyway
but apparently something was going on in the kitchen.' My head was flooded with
images of my own kitchen activates with April just the other night which then
led to me thinking about last night and all the things we did in her bed. I had
to force myself to not look over at her and keep my attention on Ella and Roddy
who were both looking shifty.

Ella tugged on his hand and led
him over to the sofa. 'It is none of your business what went on in the
kitchen.' She stuck her tongue out at me and then snuggled into Roddy's side as
he wrapped a protective arm around her. I was happy for them I really was but
that didn't stop the jealousy building up and pushing itself up my throat like
bile. I wanted it to be that easy and I had no idea why it wasn't.

I pointed my finger at Roddy. 'I
meant what I said last night.'

'What did you say last night?'
Ella had sat up a little straighter and looked worriedly from me to Roddy then
back to me.

I picked up my glass and downed
the contents. It had been a really long day and as I hadn't gotten much sleep
last night I really needed some sleep now. I placed my glass back on the table
and caught Roddy whisper something in Ella's ear which seemed to calm her.

'I'm going to bed.' I looked over
at April, who had sat back in the armchair next to the fire and whose attention
was captivated by the bubbles in her glass. I dragged my eyes from her and
tuned back to Ella and Roddy. Ella was studying me with a furrowed brow and a
questioning look that I chose to ignore. Roddy lifted a hand and I nodded at
him as I turned away. 'Good night.'

I made my way over to the door
but before I walked through it I chanced a look back. April was watching me and
I got the feeling she was making sure she remembered this moment. She seemed a
little sad and I wanted to stride back across the room and take her in my arms
and tell her that everything was going to be alright. But the look she was
giving me also told me that if I did I would regret it. I sent her a small
smile then headed along the hallway and up the stairs.

I was still within earshot when I
heard Ella ask, 'Is it me or has he been acting weird?' I hoped that April had
an answer that would satisfy her as I couldn't think of one without telling her
exactly what had been going on.

I pushed open my bedroom door and
closed it silently behind me. I took a deep breath then slowly let it out. I
was tired, that hadn't been a lie, but I didn't think I could sleep. I picked
up my phone off my bedside table where I had left it switched off since
checking it yesterday before going to April's room. I switched it on and waited
for it to boot up, as I did so I sat down on the edge of my bed and kicked off
my shoes.

I had three messages. Two of them
were just people wishing me a merry Christmas but the third was from Olivia. I
looked down at her text and wondered why she had sent it.

Olivia Reed and I had worked
together on my last movie and had dated officially for three weeks. She was
beautiful, and talented, but she was also shallow and vain. She dragged me from
restaurant to bar in the hopes that we would be seen together and our pictures
would be splashed over the papers. She would drape herself over me in public
but when I tried to get to know her, the real her, she would back off. She also
had no interest in getting to know me at all. It took me the three weeks to see
it and then end it.

I looked down at her words.

Babe, missing you. Will be in
Miami, hope to see you. xxx

 I really didn't understand what
it was she wanted. I had made it perfectly clear the last time I saw her that I
wasn't the sort of person who played up to the cameras, that my personal life
was not fodder for the public. I hit delete and placed my phone back on the
bedside table.

April was almost the complete
opposite of Olivia. She didn't seem the sort of woman who would play up to the
cameras in fact she seemed like she would shy away from them and I would do
everything to protect her from anything that made her feel uncomfortable.

I had been pretty lucky when it
came to the press. They tended to leave me alone but I had noticed the heightened
interest since the 'Danger' movies were released and had become more popular
than anyone could have imagined. I had seen my face more and more in magazines
and I had avoided the internet as much as possible only using it for email and
the occasional 'tweet' but I had been told by Ian about some of the things on
there and decided that I was better off not knowing. I knew that the public
would eventually find out about April and I would do everything I could to
protect her from any bad press.

I changed into my pyjama bottoms
then lay back down on the bed and stretched my arms up and linked my hands
behind my head. God, I wished she was here. She was so close but she felt like
a million miles away and I wondered how I was going to cope only speaking to
her for the next few weeks. Not being able to touch her or kiss her was going
to be a test of my strength like I had never endured.

There was something that was bugging
me. A feeling that had crept in at some point when I wasn't looking and I
couldn't work out what the hell it was. Something about April and the way she
had been acting all day. She had been running hot and cold and I wasn't quite
sure how she was going to act next. I needed to see her, needed to hold her to
convince myself that she was here and I wasn't going to lose her.

I sat up and flung my legs over
the side of the bed and moved to my door. I pulled it open a fraction and
listened. I could hear the TV on downstairs and I thought that I could pop down
and grab a glass of water and somehow get her to come into the kitchen with me.
I opened the door fully and moved down the hallway.

When I got to the stairs I
automatically glanced at her bedroom door and saw that there was a glow coming
from the gap at the bottom. I felt myself smile as the images of her naked and
lay out in her bed filled my mind. I moved over to it and knocked softly then
waited for a reply. I heard her call out and I turned the handle and popped my
head around the door. 'Can I come in?'

April was already in bed and I
watched as she pulled the duvet up to cover herself more. It left an uneasy
feeling in my stomach and I didn't wait for her to say yes or no I just walked
in and closed the door behind me.

I looked over at her and lost my
train of thought. I felt nervous, which was not like me, and I didn't know what
to do with my hands. I lifted them then let them fall back to my sides then
brushed my thumbs over my finger tips which itched to reach out and touch her.
I finally settled on pushing them into the pockets of my pyjama bottoms.

April shifted and sat up
straighter still clutching to the covers in front of her. After a long moments
silence she sent me a questioning look. 'Nate?'

I didn't know what to say. I knew
what I wanted to say, what I wanted to do but the way she was clutching at the
duvet and the way she was looking at me made me think again. I licked my lips
as my mouth had gone a little dry and I wondered how it was she did this to me,
made me feel like I was fifteen again and had a crush on the most popular girl
in school.

I decided to just keep it simple.
'I don't want to sleep alone.' She raised her eyebrows at me and I got the
impression she thought I was asking for a repeat performance of last night's
activities. Would that be so wrong of me? For me last night changed everything
so why was I now nervous as hell and why had she been acting weird? 'I'm not
asking...' I pulled my hands out and pushed them through my hair wracking my
brains on how to phrase it. '... I'm not asking for anything... untoward.'
Brilliant. 'I just... don't want to sleep alone.'

She just looked at me and I could
see her brain trying to process my words and working out what it was she wanted
to do. Finally after what seemed like minutes she grasped the corner of the
duvet and pulled it to one side.

I let out the breath I had been
holding and moved to the side of the bed and climbed in next to her. She had
moved from lying in the middle to one side to make room for me and we lay side
by side, not quite touching. It felt awkward and I just wanted to curl around
her and savour the feel of her. Her soft hair was fanned out on the pillow and
I remembered sinking my fingers into it and pulling her towards me for a deep
and passion filled kiss.

She rolled into her side, her
back facing me. I couldn't read her. I had no idea how we got here. She had
been so open with me and now I just had no idea. I stared up at the ceiling and
tried to come up with something to say, to get her back to the smiling, happy
person I knew she was.

She let out a frustrated sigh and
rolled back. She looked at me for a moment then let out a little laugh. 'I'm
not going to sleep if you're just lying there like a corpse.'

I let out a relived sigh. There
she was. I smiled back at her then shifted closer to her. She rolled back on to
her side and I snuggled up to her, wrapping my arm around her middle and
tangling my legs up with hers. Once we were settled I pressed a light kiss to her
shoulder. 'You're not wearing pyjamas.' It was a fact, she wasn't wearing
pyjamas it seemed that she was only wearing her underwear.

'I couldn't be bothered putting
them on.' She wiggled in my arms then settled again.  'Go to sleep.'

 Like I would be able to sleep
when I knew what she looked like under the covers. I wondered what underwear
she was wearing because I hadn't actually seen her in any yet and I was curious
to know what she looked like in just a bra and knickers.

My left hand was spread out over
her stomach and I began to slowly stroke it up and down then shifting so only
my finger tips touched her soft skin. I changed my up and down strokes to tiny
circles and I wondered how her skin was so soft. It felt like silk under my
fingertips and I wanted to exchange them for my lips, to place light kisses to
her skin and explore every curve of her. It was crazy just how turned on I was
by just thinking about her and what I wanted to do to her.

I could hear her breathing begin
to speed up as she wiggled more into my chest and her bottom brushed up against
the front of my pyjama pants. I tried to focus on her, what she might need. I
moved my hand higher and brushed it gently over her breasts. She let out a
little mewling noise and tilted her head back. I felt a little relief fill me,
I thought she might have changed her mind about me, that she didn't want me as
much as I wanted her but the noises she was making at just my touch was enough
of a confirmation that she was as turned on now as I was. I kissed along her
neck and over her shoulder as my hand moved lower again and lower until I
brushed the top of her knickers.

She let out a long breath then
rolled in my arms and captured my lips with hers. Her kiss was urgent and
demanding. Her arms wound themselves around my neck and her fingers played with
the hair at the back of my neck, it sent thrilling shivers down my spine. My
hands found the clasp at the back of her bra and I flicked it free and pulled
it off her. I lifted it from under the covers and breaking our kiss I smiled at
the thin deep blue lace. I looked back at her and I felt my smile waver. Was I
pushing again? I couldn't quite read the look in her eyes and I didn't want her
doing anything she really didn't want to do. 'You can tell me to stop.' She
tilted her head to one side. 'I mean I don't want to stop but if this isn't
what you want, I can stop.'

She moved her hands from the back
of my neck and resting one on my shoulder the other slowly and gently brushed
along my jaw and then she dragged her thumb gently over my bottom lip. 'I don't
want you to stop.' She smiled up at me, a small smile that I couldn't quite
read but it was forgotten when she pulled me down for another kiss.