An Unexpected Love (Complicated Love Series #2) (17 page)

Oh, no, no, no! This cannot be happening!
How the hell does he know?
Recognizing the tension between Karl and Lily a moment ago, I’m betting that Lily let it slip. I’m going to kill her for this. Karl is waiting for an answer, but I’m not sure what to say. It’s been so long since it happened that I was hoping not to have to tell him anything.

“I-I…can explain.”

“Well, it better be good, because I’m imagining all sorts of things here.” He looks pissed.

“Look, I don’t think this is the right place to have this kind of conversation,” I mumble as he glares. My heart is thundering and I can’t breathe properly.

“Well, in that case, let’s go back to yours because I’m dying to hear this
explanation.
” He's sarcastic, and it’s annoying me, but I have no right, not after keeping this from him. Before I can agree, he takes hold of my hand and walks quickly out of the club and we’re on our way to have the most intense conversation we’ve ever had.

We arrive at my apartment, and with trembling hands I unlock the door. We haven’t spoken since leaving the club, and my nerves have been increasing. Moving to the kitchen, I start to brew some coffee and stay in there until it’s ready. I don’t know what Karl is doing and it’s a bit unsettling. Pouring the coffee into the two mugs, I turn around to take them to the living room hoping that that’s where Karl is. I’m startled by Karl standing in the doorway and I drop both mugs which smash as they hit the tiled floor.

“God, you scared me.” Quickly, I dash to the cupboard to grab my dustpan and brush to clean up the broken mugs. Karl rushes to the counter to collect some kitchen roll, to mop up the spilled coffee but cleans it up in silence. I’m not quite sure what to say. After we’ve finished, I collect another two mugs and make another couple of coffees. Karl comes up behind me and takes his mug before walking away to the living room. I hate the silence, I just want to know what he’s thinking and feeling, but I’m getting nothing from him at the moment. Taking a deep calming breath before making my way into the living room, I notice he’s sitting in one of the chairs and he looks quite relaxed which is surprising. I sit opposite him on the sofa and take a sip of my hot coffee. I don’t know how to start, but I hate all this silence.

“Karl, I’m sorry, okay? I really don’t know what to say.” He looks at me and his eyes look emotionless, but I try to keep eye contact.

“You don’t know what to say? Maybe you can explain what the hell Lily was on about…”

I have to do this now.

“Well, I was very hurt when you left the day after we slept together, and I had no idea why you had acted like that. It was horrible, Karl.”

“I’ve apologized and I thought we’d put it behind us.”

“We have, but you wanted an explanation so let me explain.” I don’t want him to interrupt me, it’s going to be hard enough getting this out as it is.

“I flew back here and tried to forget about you, and I was going to move on. That was until I found out I was pregnant.” He leans forward and puts his head in his hands. “I was shocked and I felt so alone. I didn’t know what to do, so I tried to do it all myself. I didn’t tell Annabelle and I certainly couldn’t tell you. You said yourself that I was a mistake, and I didn’t want to burden you. Lily was a friend, but I didn’t know her very well back then, so I had no one to turn to. I did decide to keep the baby, and I was determined to do it on my own, but it wasn’t meant to be. I awoke one morning to find that I was bleeding so I went to the hospital but there was nothing they could do. I was losing my baby.” I see his nostrils flaring and the more I say, the more he looks angry.

“Your baby? Don’t you mean
our
baby? So you just thought you could do it on your own and you would’ve had
my
baby and not told me? Are you that harsh? Did you want to punish me that much?”

I stare at him open mouthed. “This is irrelevant now, I had a miscarriage! I don’t know if I would have continued in that mindset given what happened. I might have changed my mind if our baby had survived.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” He stands and starts pacing the room. “You didn’t feel that I needed to know or that I should know! How dare you not tell me about this! It’s all about you, isn’t it?”

I’m getting pissed now that he’s implying that I’m selfish.

“What do you mean by that? You left me after sleeping with me. You didn’t have the decency to even face me the morning after. And after you sleep with me, I saw you fawning all over another woman! So don’t tell me that I’m selfish. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how you’d react. Then after the miscarriage, I really didn’t see the point in telling you. There was no need to tell you.”

Standing up, I move away and wrap my arms around myself, facing away from him. I don’t know how to make this better, I don’t know whether there is a way to make this better.

“Why didn’t you say anything when I met you again over here?”

“There was never a good time to tell you, okay!”

“Oh right, so you had time to tell Lily, but me...I was a second thought? So what was this with Brandon then?” I just knew he was going to ask me about Brandon.

“Brandon was around after I lost our baby. We met in a bar and he was funny, kind, and caring. He asked me out, and we started dating, but we both never felt anything more than friends really. Well, we know that now…we were together for just over a year, but if I’m honest it was because he was there.” He grabs my elbow and twirls me back around to face him and I immediately see the hurt in his eyes and my eyes become teary.

“I could have been there for you, I would have helped you through it. We could have done it together!”

Shrugging his hand off my elbow because I’m beyond annoyed now. “
No!
You said we were a mistake! I knew you wouldn’t want to know. You were a player and were just out for a quick fuck!” He pulls me close and looks me square in the eyes.

“Maybe I didn’t see it like that.” Before I can decipher what he means he crushes his lips to mine. I’m confused and I don’t understand how we got to kissing. He swipes his tongue along my bottom lip and I relax under his touch before opening and accepting his tongue. My God his tongue is amazing and is massaging erotically with mine. He pulls me as close to him as possible and I feel the massive bulge in his pants. Placing my arms around his neck, I play with the ends of his hair. His hair always feels so silky smooth. Before I can get too into it, he pulls back and looks me in the eye.

“I really want you, Tracy, but I can’t….not tonight.”

Immediately, I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach because I don’t understand what he’s saying.

“I need to get my head around all this…us. I have two days left before having to be on a flight. I also have to sort everything out with Beth.”

Tensing up at his last statement, I shake off his arms that are holding me to him.

“Beth? You have to sort things out with Beth? What things?” My heart is thundering and I wonder what the hell he has to sort out with
her.

“No, it’s nothing like that. You have to believe me on that…she is married. I need to meet with her and get some things off my chest. The things I should’ve said to her years ago when she broke my heart. She was my college girlfriend...”

I listen intently as he explains their past and I’m shell-shocked to discover what she did to him. Sleeping with his best friend is low even for her. I kind of understand the way he’s lived his life now. Not wanting commitment, and just sleeping around. He must really have loved her to have felt like he had to change the way he was. That’s it, you see I haven’t experienced being in love before but he has had that feeling of being completely in love with someone that you can’t live without them. My chest feels tight and I feel sick.

How can he ever love anyone again?
After he’s felt so much for the love of his life. No one would be good enough to replace her. It sickens me that I know and have worked with her. I feel jealous. This is a strange feeling because I don’t generally feel jealousy and I do not like this feeling.
Why do I feel like this?
And about Karl too. I’ve felt nothing but anger for him for so long, and he just turns up in Los Angeles and changes my whole mind, and now I’m feeling jealousy and what exactly? Love? Could that be what this is? I’m in love with Karl…is that right? Maybe I just care for him? Yes, that’s what this is. That doesn’t seem to sit right with me at all.

Oh, shit! I gasp and Karl looks at me curiously.

I’m in love with Karl.

Having no idea what happened last night, I told Tracy about mine and Beth’s relationship and she just stared off into space before telling me she was tired and wanted to be on her own for a while. I tried to get her to talk some more to me because I thought she was upset with me meeting Beth, but she waved me off and said she was completely fine. She ushered me out before I could even see if we were going to meet before I leave. I really want to. I’ve enjoyed spending time with her again, and I can’t believe how smart and funny she is. Plus, she’s absolutely gorgeous. She makes me smile every time I think about her, so I’m hoping that I haven’t screwed this up.

I’m sitting in a little café down the road from Brandon’s apartment waiting for Beth to arrive. I sort of know that Tracy wasn’t pleased with me meeting her, but I have things I want to say to her. Things I wish I’d said to her back when she hurt me and tore my heart out. I want to put the past behind me, and move on. I notice Beth entering the café and she looks impeccably dressed as she was last time, she spots me and smiles. I’m really nervous being here as I don’t know her anymore and it’s hard to face my past.

“Hi, Karl.” She plops down into a chair opposite me and I ask if she would like a drink. Moving away I go over to the counter to order her a coffee and place it down on the table before taking my seat.

“You look well, Beth.”

“Thank you…you look good too.” The situation is really awkward and I’m not sure how to start up a conversation. Lucky for me Beth starts talking first.

“It was such a shock to see you again, Karl. I never would have thought that I’d meet you here in LA. This is all a little awkward, but I just want you to know that I’m sorry for what I did in the past. I should never have done that to you, and I deeply regret hurting you.”

“Why did you then?” Taking a sip of my coffee, I wait for her answer.

She sighs. “Because we were really young and I didn’t know what I wanted. I know it sounds harsh and I don’t want to hurt you, I did love you but now…being with my husband I know that I wasn’t
in love
with you the way that I should have been.”

Wow! I didn’t expect her to say that. It feels like she’s stabbing at my heart all over again.

“Please don’t look at me like that. I believe if you thought about it then you would see that the love you thought you had for me was false also. I still care for you Karl, and I’m not trying to excuse what I did with Jase.”

“You did hurt me, you know? Seeing you with him like that destroyed me.”

She looks at me. “I know I did, and I’m sorry for that.” Nodding my head, I gulp down my drink. Finding out that Beth was never in love with me hurts, but not as much as I thought it would. I keep thinking about what she said about the fact that maybe I wasn’t as in love with her as I’d thought. It felt pretty real at the time, though, but now I’m thinking about Tracy and the way I like spending time with her, and always wondering what she’s doing when I’m not with her. I want to be with her all the time and never let go.

I’m in love with her.

I am…I’m in love with her.

It’s so different though to the love I felt for Beth. I don’t believe for one minute that I wasn’t in love with Beth and I actually kind of resent her for suggesting it. She really does think she’s a princess. As I sit here I realize that I’m not actually bothered by what she has to say and nothing I have to say really matters anymore. It’s all in the past now, and I’m not sure whether I actually needed an apology from her. I swallow down the rest of my coffee and stand.

“I’m off Beth. It was great seeing you, but I’m heading out.”

She stares at me wide eyed. “What, I thought we were going to talk?”

“It’s all in the past and, to be honest, Beth, the past is where it needs to stay…in the past. I thought that I needed an apology from you, and I understand why you did it, but I’m not really bothered why you did it anymore. We’ve both moved on and I’m happy. I’ve been happier this past two weeks than I’ve ever been and I know why. I just have to tell her.”

“You’re talking about Tracy, aren’t you? I knew something was going on there.” She doesn’t look very bothered by my answer. I don’t really understand this Beth that I see before me, she isn’t the Beth I used to know.

I wonder where she went?

“Yeah, I am. I never thought I’d find love again, but I have. Be happy, Beth.” Before she can say anything, I walk off. I don’t get very far before my cell starts ringing. Looking down I see it’s Claudia ringing, I haven’t heard from her this whole trip because I guess she has everything under control.

“Hi Claudia. What’s up?”

“Hey, Karl. How’s LA been treating you?”

“Awesome…best two weeks ever.” I hear her laugh down the phone line.

“Well, you’ll be pleased with my news.” She has me curious. “You have a buyer for the company. I’ll e-mail you over all the details, but they seem really keen.” I can’t believe it, I might finally get my wish.

“That’s fantastic! I’ll check it out and look into it when I get home.”

“Not a problem, Karl. Safe travels and I’ll see you when you get back.”

“Take care.” Ending the call, I fist pump the air. I will finally be free of that place once and for all. The next thing I need to do is to see Tracy and tell her how I feel, and hopefully she feels the same.