An Unfinished Life (12 page)

“You motherfucker!”

I had never been so enraged in all of my life. I charged at him like a fucking bull, knocking him on his ass. I delivered punch after punch to his gut until I lost my footing, and he pulled his service weapon on me.

“Back the fuck off! You know that what I’m saying is true. You fucking help me take down Vanelle, and I promise you on my brother’s eyes that I will tell you who is responsible for killing your girl. I swear it.”

“Tell me now, or no deal.”

“No way, Paulson, so you can fuck me over later on? You do exactly what I say, and then we have a deal.”

My breath was ragged. All I saw was red when I looked at him.

“See you around, Marino. I want to get off of this ride.”

I played a hand that I never thought I would have the courage to do, but I called his bluff and walked. He had his gun still pointed at me as I made my way to the pier. He was screaming about how much of a fool I was, and maybe that was true. No matter what I would agree to, he would never tell me the truth, only use it over my head to get what he needed.

Minela was a great cop, loyal to the shield. Her killer was out there somewhere, and I would keep my promise to bring that person to justice. I just won’t be manipulated to do it, though. As I walked back to my car and drove back to the hotel, a new plan was formed. There was another player in this game that could help me. I just needed to figure some things out, and then I would reach out to him.

Once again my hotel room was dark. I was hoping that Zoey would be here, but this time I was alone. The room had been cleaned and the linens changed, leaving no remnants behind of the night we shared. I was caught between two women: my past with Minela and believing I may have a future with Zoey Steele.

It was just bad timing. I couldn’t risk another woman in my life getting hurt. I’d never survive it. I had to let her go…for now.

A
fter my meeting with Marino, I needed a hot shower to wash the disgust off of me. He wasn’t a man to be reasoned with, although I tried. But he wasn’t having it. He was a fucking coward, and I believe deep down he knew it. He just wanted a scapegoat to do the dirty work for him, and he was using his position to get me to do it.

As for Wade, he was just clueless as to what was really in front of him. I decided that it wasn’t my job to school him on how to be a cop. He was basically a pencil pusher with a badge, climbing the ladder to kiss more ass than to actually get some. I was done with him and his office.

Before leaving my suite, I looked around for any note Zoey may have left for me, but I didn’t find anything. Maybe she changed her mind after all? I didn’t have time to find out. I had one more stop and needed to see someone before I caught my flight to Chicago.

My brother Simon was closest to our aunt, so it made all the sense in the world that he would ultimately live in the home she loved so much. They shared a special bond between them, and she was the only one that truly understood his passion for the ocean and all of God’s beauty that lied beneath the waves.

I spent many summers here with my Aunt Grace. She would sit on the shoreline and watch us surf and do tricks on our boards. She would paint and cheer us on. Flowers lined the long path leading up to the staircase. The beach house was set high above, where you would have to look down to see the beach. It was just breathtaking. It was just like I remembered.

My father texted me that Simon had returned home earlier than expected. Simon wasn’t a news junkie, and I didn’t think he would immediately check all he had missed when they were gone. I told my father that I would be the one to break the news to them.

On the drive over, I filled my father in on all that happened today. He wanted to see me, but I declined his invitation. I still hadn’t seen my mother, and I was sorry for that. He understood where I needed to be, so he chose not to even tell her that I was in California. What was the point of hurting her feelings?

The one person I wished I could avoid would be Nicolette and the look she was sure to give me when I told her about Michael. After the trial, she never mentioned his name again, and now I feared I would bring all of her pain back. She had to know and so did my brother.

I took the stairs two at a time and rapped on the double French doors. Their cars were here, and I saw lights coming off the kitchen that led to the back deck. I waited another beat, then walked around. I didn’t want to frighten them, or heaven forbid walk in on them in a compromising position. Yeah, they do that with the shades open. Living out here gives them lots of privacy.

Where the heck are they?
I thought as I continued to look around the house. I couldn’t access anything else without a key, so I just took a minute to take in the amazing view. The sun had set for the night, leaving hues of beautiful colors bouncing off the waves. I’m not all that religious, but taking in all of this beauty, I almost felt God’s presence here. It was no wonder why Simon was so passionate about what he did. He worked so hard preserving what most of us took for granted.

Just then I heard laughter coming up the stairs and a loud thud to the deck.

“Those waves were spectacular, Simon, but I’m still afraid of the sharks. Next time,
you
can do the night surfing, while
I
just watch safely from the shore,” I heard Nicolette tell my brother.

“Baby, how many times do I have to tell you? It’s perfectly safe out there. I’ve taken on the waters of Australia and South Africa, and nothing has ever happened,” Simon reassured her.

“Yeah, yeah, husband, but our children are not going out there anytime soon.”

“Wrong again, baby. Our babies
were
just out there, because my baby mama was out there, so your statement is squashed.”

“Oh, Simon! I wasn’t really surfing. It was more like sitting.”

“You stood up once, and you glided in, so that counts my love. I’m starving! Let’s put the steaks on.”

I was tucked in the corner, and just as they passed me—hand in hand, of course—I popped out and said, “I’ll take mine medium well.”

“Oh my God! Jacob!?! What are you doing here?” Nicolette asked after the shock wore off.

She immediately let go of Simon’s hand and jumped into my arms. It felt so good at this moment to be with her and my brother, who was staring at me as if he was looking at a ghost. My fault, this I know. It just reaffirmed once again that I’d been away from my family for more time than I ever expected to.

“It is so good to see you, Nicolette. You look beautiful. And congratulations to you, Mommy-to-be. I can’t wait to meet my nephew or niece.”

“Oh, thank you, Jacob. I’m sure that…” Nicolette hesitated and turned to look over to Simon. “Can we tell him, honey?”

Simon, who still was not talking, simply nodded and smiled back to his wife. Nicolette’s cheeks reddened. She was glowing.

“Like I was about to say, I’m sure that our children will love their Uncle Jacob.”

“Children? Plural? Twins? That’s amazing news! Does the family know?”

“No, not yet. We wanted to wait to make sure I could even hold the pregnancy, and so far everything is going great. I’m in my second trimester now, and my doctor says there is no reason why I shouldn’t be able to carry our twins to nearly full-term. They hope for me to make it to 36 weeks with my health history.”

“Sorry for asking, sis, but should you really be surfing in your condition? I hate to sound sexist, but is it safe?”

“You’re not being sexist. You’re being the concerned big brother who we love very much. I wasn’t really doing anything physical out there. I’ve been through a lot, but I’m healthy and strong, and I know our babies will be too.”

“I’m so happy for you both. I can’t wait to meet them.”

I hugged her again and didn’t miss my brother scowling at me. Nicolette excused herself to go tend to dinner, giving me some time with Simon.

After she was a safe distance away, I started to say something to him, but he walked by me and said, “Not here. Follow me down to the beach.”

I could do nothing but follow. He was angry at me, and I really couldn’t blame him. We were always very close, and then I simply just checked out and fell off the grid. My father certainly told me how he felt about my non-presence in our family, so now I was ready to hear it from Simon.

We walked a bit with Simon not saying anything, and I continued to follow until he turned around to look at me.

“You asshole!” he screamed, and then I was stunned and knocked on my ass with a punch to my jaw.

What the hell!
I knew he was mad at me and had every right to be, but to hit me? I never saw that coming, and that blow fucking hurt. How did my scrawny kid brother deliver such a powerhouse punch to a guy like me? It was almost humorous, but I didn’t want to tell him that and risk getting punched again.

Simon was standing over me, almost breathing fire. The only time I have ever seen him look like this was when Nicolette left him years ago, and he thought he lost her forever. It took me and our two brothers to hold him tightly in our hold. He was completely devastated.

“Can I get up now? Or are you going to hit me again?”

I wiped the blood from my lip and slowly stood up.

“That depends on you, big brother. Why are you here after all of this time? Where were you all the times I needed you? You weren’t the only one going through a tough time. Yes, I had Andrew and Cameron when time allowed them to come out here, but it was you who I really needed. Where was my big brother to talk me down, tell me that everything is going to be okay? You weren’t here, not for me, not for anyone. So why are you here now? Why are you back?”

Every word Simon said was absolutely spot on. I could do nothing to defend myself. I abandoned my family and chose to hide behind my shield while grieving for Minela. I shut all my friends out and just walked away. I turned to look at Simon, who was still clearly upset with me just showing up here without warning. This was not how I saw our reunion playing out.

“Simon, you will never know how sorry I am for not being here for you. Dad told me about the miscarriages. I can’t even begin to understand what you and Nicolette have been through. All I’m asking is that you take a second to also understand what I’ve been through. These last few years have been the hardest ones in my life, and after all this time, I’m finally coming up for air.”

“I tried to be there for you Jake, but you shut me out. How many times did I fly out to New York, Washington, or wherever you were working to be there for you? Huh? And you turned away from me at every turn. It was like you exiled yourself to your own private island. An army of one, yeah…that’s you.”

“I’m sorry, bro. I am so sorry that I hurt you.”

“Yeah, so you say.”

“Simon, look at me, dammit! Now, I love you, so don’t stand here and pretend that all our years as brothers have meant nothing to you, because that is simply not true. People make mistakes, little brother. I made mistakes, but I’m here now and am asking you to forgive me for them, please?”

I took a step back to give him space. I saw his hurt, and then his lip quivered and I knew I was forgiven. He charged at me like a bull—apparently, that’s what we Paulsons do—and I opened my arms to catch him. He hit my back with his fist a few times, never loosening the grip he had on me. He cried and told me how much he missed me, but he wasn’t sorry for punching me. I accepted that, and when he calmed down, we finally talked.

“How’s your hand?” I asked.

“It hurts. How’s your face?”

“It hurts, but I’ll live.”

“You can’t do this again, Jake.”

“Do what?”

“Leave. No matter what, we are a family. We are stronger together than apart, and we need you in our lives. It’s time to come home, and I don’t mean to California, but back to our family. You can’t just check out for months at a time, or years like you’ve been doing. I’m about to become a father…do you even know how scared I am? Every time my beautiful girl up there even sneezes, my heart constricts. We’ve lost two babies already, and she’s never made it this far. I can’t go through that again. It nearly destroyed us. We just went numb and drifted away from each other for a while, and then one day, we had hope again.”

“I’m sorry, Simon. I had no idea things were that rough for you and Nicolette. I should have been here. Maybe you should hit me again?”

He smiled, and the easygoing flow we always had as brothers slowly returned. Simon continued to bring me up to speed.

“Nicolette had asked me to meet her down to the beach. It was our special place, on the same dune I found her at when she had taken off from her parents’ house. That day I vowed to never to leave her, to love her forever, and always take care of her. I begged her not to run and to trust me with her heart. We were drowning in our grief over the loss of our babies, and the thought of us not making it was just incomprehensible. Nicolette had immediately put together a nursery, and she practically slept in that room. She was happier than I had ever seen her, even topping our wedding day. We were picking out names and baby carriages, and then one day, our baby was gone. It was devastating.”