An Unfinished Life (17 page)

I was the one always leaving her. I ran from our life when I heard about Nicolette. I shut her out and didn’t allow her to console me, but I lost that battle and she came to me anyway. She wouldn’t allow me to fall and lose myself to the pain that I was feeling. She knew who she married but also trusted that I would never hurt her. Her faith in me was astounding. I tried every day to live up to my vows and be an honorable man who was worthy of her.

I placed the bags down onto the bar and removed my hat, coat, and gloves. Sara practically leaped into my arms, and kissed my cold cheeks. “Wow! How long were you out there? Jack, you left hours ago. You must be frozen down to your bones.”

God! I loved this woman.

I kissed her passionately and held her close to me. “How about we go upstairs, and you warm me up?” I asked her with a hope that she would agree.

“I was thinking more on the lines of a brandy. Don’t tempt me, Jack! There’s a big game on today, and you know this place is going to be packed to the seams with customers. We have to prep and get ready to open.”

“Let the staff take care of the prep today. I need you, Sara. Please let me make love to you.”

I know how desperate I sounded, but I needed my wife to bring me back to the light. For days now, my mind had been retreating to a place I didn’t want to be, but no matter what I did, the nightmare was always there.

She never took her eyes off of mine. What was she looking for? I hope when she looked at me, she saw the love I had for her.

“Okay, take me upstairs.”

Sara led me from the main bar area to our private apartment upstairs. Our restaurant was two floors, but we had added a third floor to get away to. We practically lived here. Sara was our head chef, and my presence was always required out in the open. I had a great staff that took care of everything when we couldn’t be here, but it was to the point that we liked to be here. We were surrounded by our friends and customers who had been coming here since we opened. This was home, the only thing that was missing was Nicolette.

I was lost in my thoughts. Sara knew it but did everything to please me. She held my face in her small, delicate hands and said she would help me forget, if only for a little while. There were moments when I almost didn’t trust myself with Sara, afraid I may hurt her. She never denied me her touch. We made love for hours, and then we showered and went back to our bed, where I held her.

“Talk to me Jack, please. What can I do to help you?”

I didn’t answer her. I just tightened my hold on her and breathed her in. Just having her here with me was all I needed and forever wanted.

“We have to get up,” she said.

“Five more minutes.”

“Jack, I need to get back to my kitchen. Do you really trust the guys to make Sara’s famous Roof Top Burger?”

She buried her face to my chest and giggled.

“I love you, Sara. Please don’t you ever forget it.”

“I won’t, Jack, not ever.”

Her words put my restless mind at ease. We dressed and made our way down to our restaurant. Sure enough, it was a full house. Both sides were filled, and the pool area was lined with college kids knocking back beers and having a great time. I kissed Sara, and she made her way into the kitchen. Then I heard someone call out for me.

It was my longtime friend, Max, the one person who knew all my sins and then some. He stood up as I got closer and asked if we could speak privately. I checked in with Tommy, who was behind the bar and managing the crowd.

Everything seemed to be under control, and I led Max to my office. You couldn’t get more private than what I had built downstairs in the basement. It wasn’t convenient, but when I needed space, this was where I retreated to.

“You look good, my friend,” he said before lighting up a cigar.

I declined one and instead poured myself a drink.

“I have news for you, Jack, and it isn’t good.”

“I
figured as much. You don’t have a great poker face, Max.”

I turned in my chair and opened the bottom door to my wall credenza, finding exactly what I needed to get through this conversation with Max.

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say, and you go for the hard stuff? Damn, Jack, that must have set you back at least a grand.”

“More like $1800 a bottle, but I didn’t buy this one. My brother sent it to me for Christmas.”

Bourbon wasn’t Max’s drink. I offered him something else from my bar, while I poured myself a glass of the 16 year aged A.H. Hirsch Reserve bourbon I kept for my private collection.

I readied myself for what Max was about to tell me. I had sent him to California to get me some intel on Michael. I didn’t like what I was hearing the last few months, so I sent Max to go directly to our sources. I’d kept tabs on St. Clair from the minute he was incarcerated for raping my daughter. His stay in prison had been monitored by me from the very beginning of his incarceration. I had dreamt up ways to make him suffer, but then I decided a different approach by keeping tabs on him. He should suffer
—
he deserves nothing, least of all protection
—
but judging by the way Max was looking at me, that might soon change. I was fortunate enough to have men on the inside who would do anything I asked of them.

“What do we know, Max?” I asked as I twirled the amber liquid in my glass.

“Like I said, Jack, it’s not good. It looks like our boy may be getting released early for good behavior. Word on the block is that he’s been shooting his mouth off about how money buys you everything, even out of prison. He met with his lawyers a few times last week, and he’s wrapped up a few of his side businesses he has going on up in there. What do you think? Sounds like he’s getting ready to pack up?”

I finished my drink, then shattered the glass against the desk. I had little jagged pieces embedded into my palm with droplets of blood trickling down to my wrist. Max went to hand me his handkerchief, but I declined it. Feeling pain was better than being numb. I needed this to remind me of all the pain that animal had caused our family. The promises I made to the ones I loved had broken me down over the years, piece by piece, to the point that I didn’t recognize myself anymore. Michael St. Clair should have never been allowed to live…it’s that simple.

Max was silent and gauging what I would say next. I finally snapped back from my dark place and cleaned up my hand. He poured me another drink and handed it to me.

Clearing my throat, I said, “Max, everything we don’t know, we need to know, and I mean yesterday. Gather me all that we have on the warden and his close knit circle. I need the layouts of the inside and outside perimeters of the prison. He’s not in maximum security, and from I already knew about the wing that he is housed in, it seems pretty easy to come and go.”

“Hey, Jack, what are you really asking me here? Come on, man! It’s not like we can just walk into a state prison and take this guy out.”

“And why not?” I heard the words spill from my mouth and wasn’t shocked by them at all.

Max appeared to be puzzled by what I was asking of him. This was a first, even for Max.

“Jack, if you want this guy taken out, then we can arrange it from the inside. It can happen in any place he has access to. Just say the word, and I will take care of this for you.”

“No! If anyone is going to take this piece of shit out, it’s going to be me. I need this, Max, more than you know.”

“I do know, my friend, but you don’t know what you’re asking. We all wondered why you didn’t take action back then, but it wasn’t our place to counsel you. We just needed to have your back. We will always be on your side for anything you need, but the family can’t allow you to do this. It’s too dangerous, and we can’t risk having the family compromised if anything were to go wrong. I’m sorry, Jack, but I can’t do what you are asking of me.”

“Max, what you seem to not realize is that I’m not asking the family for anything, nor do I want your help. I was simply asking for some information. If that is too much for you, then I will get it myself. Anything I decide when it comes to Michael St. Clair is on me, not the family. Do I make myself clear?”

“Jack…come on. You are not on your own here. You’re talking crazy right now.”

“No, my friend, I’ve never been clearer on anything in my life than at this moment. I’ve waited my time out. These years have not been easy to get through, but I did it with one vow on my mind. I will have my revenge on Michael St. Clair, and only then will justice be served. It doesn’t matter how long he has spent in prison. It will never be enough. He’s not remorseful; he never was. He said all the right things to the judge and has maintained to be the perfect inmate, but we know better Max, don’t we? This guy has quite the enterprise going on behind those walls, sides that we have created for him. He’s so fucking dense and arrogant that he never even figured it out. A pretty white boy from Beverly Hills goes in to a state prison for sexual assault…and doesn’t get touched? He should have been somebody’s bitch by now, if not just one, but many. And yet, he’s lived under the illusion that he’s untouchable and soon will be free.”

“Why, Jack? Why this guy? He should have been taken out the minute he laid his hands on your girl. No one is allowed to even breathe in his direction, because you gave an order for us not to. This is what we don’t understand,” Max said as he gestured over to my bar and fixed himself a drink.

“I had my reasons, Max.”

“Care to share them with me? I’m on your side, Jack. I just need to understand where your head is at right now? I mean this guy could be walking any day now. Once he’s out, you know his daddy is probably going to ship him off to parts unknown, and then we will lose any opportunity we once had to get to him.”

“Show me what you gathered from his cell.”

Max shifted in his seat as he retrieved the envelope that was in his bag. He took a deep breath and handed me the envelope. I braced myself for what I would find: pictures of Nicolette, dozens of them. I recognized some of them almost immediately. Pictures from her eighteenth birthday party, when she was smiling and looking just beautiful as she was surrounded by her friends. I became more enraged as I flipped through them all. Michael had been keeping tabs on her life all the time he’s been in prison. Newspaper clippings of Nicolette opening up the CALI center, picture after picture. All of these appeared to be from public search engines. Her parents were famous, and anyone with a computer had access to their life. Then there were authentic photos that had to be taken by someone. A recent photo from a local breakfast shop where my daughter was having coffee and was engaged in a conversation. Another with Simon, walking hand in hand. I nearly flipped my desk when I picked up the last one.

“What the fuck! This was taken only three days ago by the timestamp on the back. How the hell did he get his hands on a picture of my daughter coming out of what appears to be a medical building?”

I nearly lunged at Max, as I slammed the photo down to the desk. He kept his tone quiet and guarded.

“From what we know, she’s been under surveillance. We don’t have any leads yet on the photographer, but feelers have been put out. I’m just waiting to hear from my guys out in LA.” There haven’t been any recent photos to surface until now.”

“Yeah, Max, like three fucking days ago. He’s still stalking her…and from fucking prison! How did I not see this? He’s coming after my girl. I need to find this photographer for hire and shut him down before anyone else finds out. I can’t have Nicolette’s safety compromised. She’s pregnant, Max! After years of trying, her dream of becoming a mother is going to come true. I will not let anyone come between that, especially that pig, Michael St. Clair.”

“Say the word, man, and Michael St. Clair will be silenced tonight.”

“No, I have something else in mind for our friend, and he won’t see it coming.”

We sat in my office in silence as I continued to study each photo of Nicolette. Every image was the same. She looked happy, carefree, and beautiful. Her innocence beguiled me, and then my heart was pained at that fact that that monster was waiting for her outside of her happy life. She tried to be so brave in thinking that she was strong enough to handle this on her own, but he was stronger. I battled within myself for so long that she didn’t come to me for help. She hid it all from her parents and me. She left herself open to this predator, and I could do nothing to stop it because she didn’t tell me.

I blamed my brother for all of it. I trusted him to take care of her and keep her safe. If he hadn’t taken her from her home to live in California, miles away from me, then this wouldn’t have happened. I convinced myself what I was saying was true, but Sara never agreed. She was my anchor and told me that what happened to Nicolette could have happened in Chicago or anywhere, for that matter. It was easier to blame Massimo than to believe anything else. Eventually I worked out my feelings about it and took back all of my hurtful words. He was my brother, my kid brother who I loved very much. I would do anything for him, and I did when I agreed to help him become a father.