An Unfinished Life (41 page)

I got out of his car and nearly collapsed to my knees. I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know where to go. My head was spinning, and my world went dark. I was being pulled to the darkest moment in my life.

She was dying in my arms, and I could do nothing to save her. I was screaming for help, but it was too late…she was gone.

My head was pounding, and my eyes felt heavy to open. I moved my head and felt a sharp pain to the back of my skull. When I finally came to, I was in a hospital bed, and Jack was here.

“I guess I didn’t make myself clear earlier about never wanting to see you again.”

“You were, Jacob. I heard every word you said, and I don’t blame you. I’m so sorry, man. I swear if I could change this for you, I would. No matter what you believe, I was never that lost to ever condone violence against an innocent woman.”

“So? Just what I need, a former mob enforcer with a fucking heart.”

“Yes. That heart still feels Jacob, and it mourns your loss. I’m so sorry.”

I turned away from him and blocked him out until he left. A nurse came in after him and explained the bump on my head. The emergency room doctor was behind her.

“Hello, Agent Paulson, I’m Dr. Phan. You’re going to have quite the headache, but your CT scan looks good. The gentleman who brought you in said you passed out and hit your head on the sidewalk. This time of year, the walks out there are snow-covered, and layers of ice are under it. You got lucky.”

“I have to get out of here,” I said as I began to pull the IV line from my arm, causing it to sting.

“Sir, you are in no shape to go anywhere.”

“Back the fuck off! I’m a grown-ass man, and I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Give me something to sign, so I can be on my way.”

“You need to be monitored, Agent Paulson.”

“I’m fine, you said it yourself. Believe me, doc, I’ve seen worse.”

Holy shit! It had been nearly four hours since I said goodbye to Zoey, and she had to be wondering what happened to me. I quietly opened the door to her room and found her sleeping. I shut the door without waking her and called Duffy. I told him to meet me in Boston no later than noon tomorrow.

Time to pay a visit to my almost father-in-law. You bet your ass he’s waiting for me.

I
did the right thing, I know I did, so why did it hurt so much to tell the truth? Jacob was livid. I thought he was going to rip my throat out. In the heat of the moment, he hit the sheet of ice and went down for the count. His head was bleeding all over the sidewalk, and I had to rush through the doors of the ER to get help.

I knew I was the last person he wanted to see, but I had to wait until he woke up. I even sent a message to his girl, letting her know not to worry. She hadn’t been released yet and was waiting on Jacob to return. He blindsided me with his anger. I knew he would be upset, but maybe there was hope in me to believe he would actually be grateful for my truth. But he wasn’t. Just the opposite, in fact.

I was done putting myself through this torment. I followed through with telling Jacob the truth, it may have been ugly and hard to hear, but it was the truth. He deserved to know who was responsible for taking his love away from him. How could he ever move on with his life without it? I would want to know if I were him. Maybe it wasn’t my choice to make, but this was actually one I could live with.

When I got back to the bar, I inspected all that was accomplished today. The roof looked like there was never a fire. I had to hand it to my girl, who was working around the clock to give us back our place.

She left me a note telling me that she was taking a girls’ night out. I was happy to hear she was giving herself a much needed break. Sara didn’t ask for this shit storm to fall down on her, and I would do anything to make her forget all that she’d been through.

Tommy was back behind the bar, happy as ever. The scowl he was wearing since Jacob arrived was now gone, and he was back to working the bar and chatting it up with the customers. There was no need to ever have a re-opening since we never closed in the first place. The damage upstairs was contained to one area, and the rest of the structure was sound. I took a seat, and as he began to pour me my usual, I raised my hands and declined. He put the bottle back on the shelf and looked like he wanted to say something.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“For?”

“For not being here for Sara when that maniac showed up. I’m always here, Jack, and the one time I was needed most, I split because I was pissed off at you. If anything would have happened to her…”

He trailed off and couldn’t finish his sentence. He was choked up, and gripping the bar.

“Look, Tommy, it wasn’t your responsibility to protect Sara, although I appreciate it. It’s my job to look out for my wife. It’s not your fault that asshole grabbed her. It’s mine, and it is something I will live with for the rest of my life.”

“He’s gone now, boss, so don’t waste one more second on that piece of shit. And the next time I see that guy, Jacob, I will make things right with him. I know he’s family, and I want to make peace if he should ever come here again. Again, I was just looking out for the bar and you. I wasn’t thinking when I should have. And now I have a banged up knee to show for it.”

“I wouldn’t worry about seeing Jacob anytime soon, maybe not ever. I’ll take that drink now.”

I leaned down onto the bar and rested my throbbing head. So much for my brand new start, I’ve royally fucked things up. Some of the guys came in to play pool, including Max, who immediately spotted me.

“Hey, Jackie, how’s it going?”

“I’m fine,” I said with a guarded tone. “You seem to be in a good mood Max, what gives?”

“Can’t a guy be happy? Come on, Jack, you need to loosen up a little.”

“I’ll take it under advisement. Nice seeing you, Max.”

He pulled my arm back, and I turned to give him the one look that made him release his hold on me.

“Sorry, Jack, I just wanted to check on you. We’re still friends, right?”

“Yeah, Max, we are.”

I gave him a half hug, and then I walked upstairs and didn’t look back to my friend, who I knew was hoping I would stay and talk. I was spent and pulled in so many directions. I just wanted to crawl under the covers with Sara and not get out of bed for a week. After the renovation was complete, maybe I could convince her to go up to the cabin again or even take a trip to warmer climates.

I took a shower, and re-heated some dinner Sara had left for me. Grabbing a beer, I took a seat by our window to look out to the city below. I flipped over my palm and ran my finger over the reminder of my past life. Dominick showed no mercy when he slashed my palm. The wound needed stitches on account of how he went deeper than the first time I received this mark. He poured all of his anger into the force of forever reminding me how much I had disgraced the family by walking away from them. He put up a convincing front that he was New Age, all about business, and making the mighty green, but behind the façade, he was a traditionalist. He carried what he learned from his father and grandfather before him. He did what he felt he had to, and I wasn’t going to challenge what he believed to be right.

Sara never questioned me about it. Some things were better left unsaid. I walked over to the counter, where my wallet was, and pulled out my St. Francis card. Closing my eyes and holding the card to my heart, I prayed for Jacob and hoped he would find peace in whatever he decided to do about what he had learned. And because I’m a selfish bastard, I said a prayer for myself. The lightning bolts hadn’t taken me out yet, so I took my chances with the saint that mama always prayed to when she worried for me.

These last few years, I had prayed for more absolution that I ever had in my entire life. I didn’t know if I was forgiven for any of my sins, but I had to believe that I was, at least in some small way. Nicolette always told me that God didn’t work that way. He forgave all who hurt us, even the ones we felt didn’t deserve it. I knew who she was referring to, and I always gnashed my teeth together so I wouldn’t say anything to hurt her.

I was about to turn in, when my phone began to ring. I picked it up to see it was Dominick calling me. Cold chills ran up my spine, and I instantly felt pain in my hand. Why in the hell was he calling me?

“Dominick.”

“Good evening, Jack. I trust you’re well.”

“I’m fine, Dominick. Why the call?”

“Is your television on?”

“No, why?”

“Turn it on, and find out. I’ll wait.”

What the hell was he playing at now? I got up in a huff and grabbed the remote. He told me to turn on channel seven, as a breaking report was about to go live.

I could hear the clinking of ice in a glass, as I waited for the news to come on. And then I couldn’t believe my eyes at what I was watching. I turned up the volume so I could hear the report.

“Good evening. We are interrupting your regular scheduled program to bring you breaking news out of Boston. The former city police chief, Joseph LaRocha, was found dead in his home earlier this evening from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. His body was found by his son, patrolman Paolo LaRocha of the 47
th
precinct.”

“Chief LaRocha, since retiring from his position with the Boston Police Department, has rarely been seen out in public. This report coming from a once-close neighbor and friend to the family. You may remember the violent crime back in 2012, when his only daughter, Detective Minela LaRocha, was gunned down in cold blood while walking home with her then fiancée, former NFL player and current Federal Agent, Jacob Paulson. Her murder has never been solved.”

“Are you still there, Jack?”

“I’m here,” I coldly replied.

“I guess you followed through with your promise of…what did you call it? Righting a wrong and helping poor Agent Paulson find some closure? I guess he did get that closure after all? Too bad the news report got it wrong. Her murder has been solved, you saw to that Jack, when you grew a conscience and sang like a fucking bird. I’m sure Agent Paulson feels great right about now. Anyhow, I thought you would like to know. Sleep well, Jack.”

The line went dead, and it took all my self-control not to bust up my phone that I was gripping with all of my strength. He actually did it, didn’t he? It had to be Jacob who confronted LaRocha with what he knew, and being the coward that LaRocha is, he took his own life. That fucker should have killed himself a long time ago!

If confronting LaRocha was something Jacob needed to do to breathe again, then he did the right thing. I did the right thing. I didn’t have too many things in my life where I could say that and it would be true. Freeing Jacob from his past felt right, and I would never be sorry for it. I was only sorry for the pain it caused him to hear it.

We all make promises to the people we love and to ourselves. We do what we believe we can live with. I believed Jacob knew that before ever deciding to confront LaRocha, as I knew when telling him the truth.

This was over. The last piece to the puzzle had been solved. The dark would turn to light, and the nightmares would fade away, never to be thought of again. It was truly over, and I
could breathe again.