An Unfinished Life (38 page)

“Come sit with me. I have some things here you need to know.”

He looked too serious, which put my overactive imagination into a deeper spiral. I sat down, and Duffy opened up a file on Marino. Pictures of Zoey, coming and going from my hotel room. An address to the condo, and picture of her getting into her rental car.
Fuck!
He was totally sick and out of his mind.

I said, “He admitted to me when we talked in Wade’s office that he knew about Zoey, and I flipped out and told him to cut the surveillance on me. I had no idea that he was going after Zoey. Now it all makes sense, because the day I left her at my hotel room was the same day I had my confrontation with him down at the pier. I refused him, Duff, and then he retaliated by taking Zoey. This is my fault, all of it. I pushed him over the edge by not going along with his plan.”

“That’s bullshit, and you know it. This guy was drowning in his own madness and doing a superb job at hiding it. Your instincts about him were dead-on from the very beginning. I’m just sorry that we didn’t see it until it was too late. There’s more Jake, much more. You know when he was taunting you about Minela? Well, that wasn’t him just messing with you. It was the real deal. He really knew who was responsible for her murder.”

“What are you saying? Did he leave the evidence behind? Is it in this file?”

“I’m sorry, Jake, it’s not. His home has been flipped by our team in New York. His office has been searched, as well as his hotel room back in LA. We found nothing but this letter to you.” He handed me the unopened envelope, where my name was scrawled on the front.

“I can’t do it, Duff. This is Marino still trying to pull the strings. He’s probably laughing at me from hell.”

“Read it, Jake. Maybe he grew a conscience and told you in this letter.”

“I doubt that very much, but let’s see what he has to say.”

Dear Agent Paulson,

I’m dead! I don’t know how exactly I went out, but if this letter ends up in your hands, then I have failed at what I set out to accomplish, and that is to get revenge on Jack Vanelle for what he did to my brother.

You have to give it to Duffy for actually being a good cop and finding this letter to give to you. I only wrote one, so feel privileged.

Here’s the real reason why I chose you to help me bring Jack Vanelle down to his knees: you are the lone ranger. Tragedy has made you fearless, cold, and dark. Those three attributes drive you to take out anyone in your way, and I thought you would be that guy, but I was wrong. You saw right through me, and even when I manipulated you with allegedly what I knew about your fiancées murder, you still did not yield, which frustrated the shit out of me.

So why the letter? Because I’m a bastard, but I never pretended to be anything else. I was never going to give up the person responsible for your girl’s death, because that would prove to be detrimental for my family if something would happen to me. But I wasn’t always so self-serving. There was a time when I actually had a heart, and I cared, but when you lose someone whom you love more than yourself, it changes you to the point that you don’t recognize yourself in the mirror. If you and I ever had anything in common, then that would be it.

Here’s a few breadcrumbs for you to begin the walk to her murderer’s doorstep: you weren’t the first man in her life she loved. There was another before you, and after her death, he was never whole again.

You are a smart man, Jacob Paulson, I have no doubt you will figure this out. He’s waiting for you.

DM…

“Jake, are you alright?”

I couldn’t breathe, and I sure as hell wasn’t alright. I handed the letter to Duffy to read, and he didn’t look any better after he finished.

“We will keep looking, Jake. On her memory, I swear we will find out who is responsible for taking her away from you.”

“It’s been years, Duff, and we are no closer today than we were back then. Just let her rest in peace. It’s over man, it’s just over. I think I’m done.”

“What are you saying, Jake?”

I couldn’t say the words, so I did the next best thing.

“Here. I don’t want this anymore.”

I placed my gun and my shield down to the table in front of Duffy.

“No, Jake, not like this. You’re not thinking clearly. You just read the final rantings of a self-destructive, crazy man and are letting it cloud your judgement. Give yourself some time. Take all the time you need, and then we will talk.”

“Whatever, Duff. I have to get back to Zoey.”

I secured my gun back into my holster, and clipped my badge back to my belt. These two objects now felt like weights pulling me down, and I just wanted to be free of them and this life I lost myself to. We began to walk out when Zoey’s nurse came rushing toward me.

“Agent Paulson, thank goodness I found you.”

Oh my God! No, she cannot be dead!

“She’s awake. Ms. Steele has opened her eyes, and her doctors are with her now.”

I was paralyzed. I couldn’t move, and my mind was trying to register what she was telling me.
Zoey’s alive?
She made it through and has come back to me, but why can’t I move? Will she remember me?

“Jake, didn’t you hear her? Let’s go see your girl,” Duffy said as he tried to coax me to move, but I was paralyzed by my fear.

“Come on, son. It’s going to be okay. I’ve got you.”

And then I was walking, with my friend pulling me along.

This would be our defining moment. Zoey’s eyes would tell me what I knew I needed to see to believe. Then her touch would come next. I loved the feel of her skin next to mine. Her response would help me believe that her body remembered me. And then I would kiss her and pray she would share my love for her. My desire to make her mine. To love her forever.

Please, baby, show me all of those things.

“W
hat a freaking mess you have up there. No worries, Jackie. You will be up and running in no time,” Max said after talking with my contractor. I just nodded at my friend for trying to put my mind at ease.

Burned up buildings can be replaced, not people. To say I was playing with fire was an understatement. I wasn’t going to set another predator free to come at me one day and strike again. Marino was deranged in thinking he could ever best me. He never knew how much regret I have carried with me over what I did to his brother, and now he would never know. After he made the decision to take my Sara, all bets were off and my guilt ended.

After the damage was no longer visible to see, the scars of what we went through would still be there, but I hoped in time that we could forget and make new memories here at our place.

I hadn’t seen or talked with Jacob since the night we rescued the women we loved. She still hadn’t woken up yet from her coma, and I only hoped he would get a second chance with her. The key to his past had been weighing heavily on my mind since Dominick revealed the truth to me. Jacob deserved the truth, and I had to tell him. What he decided to do with it was on him, but I didn’t think I could ever look at Nicolette again, knowing what I knew. If this were me, I would want to know.

Dominick had been calling, and wanted a sit down with me. I hadn’t allowed Sara out of my sight, but she ordered me out before she went crazy with my hovering.

That was when I made up my mind to go to him and once again ask to be let go. Max drove with me, and the car ride was completely met with silence. He knew what I was about to do. When Johnny agreed to let me go all those years ago, I thought I could still have a piece of them with me, but I was wrong. Mikey Marino and even St. Clair showed me how my past was controlling my life. All the hurt I suffered over Nicolette, and what she went through, I made it my own and allowed it to take over my life.

I had justified my choices, my actions, and what I believed to be right all of my life. What happened to Nicolette was a tragedy. What happened to Michael St. Clair was justice. Sara could find the hope in the hopeless, but not even for her would I ever grieve for him. I held my wife in my arms and watched our dream restaurant nearly burn to the ground, along with all my sins. I set myself free that night and vowed to never think of them again. Today would prove if I could actually do it.

“You okay, Jack?” Max asked as I stared at the mansion before me. It looked almost haunted with the ghosts all around it.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Wait here, okay? I need to talk to Dominick on my own.”

“Sure thing, Jack. It’s going to be alright. He’s an asshole, we know this, but he’s not so naïve in his thinking that he can ever gain the upper hand on you. Remember that.”

I entered the foyer and was greeted by Dominick. I looked around and saw no one else.

“No guards? No pat-down?”

“I didn’t think they were necessary, unless you are planning to kill me. Are you, Jack? If that’s the case, then it will only prove that I was fooled by the bounds of our friendship.”

“I’m not here to kill you, Dominick. That would be the last thing on my mind.”

“Very well. Follow me, friend, and let’s have a drink. Hirsch Reserve, is that still your choice of drink? I keep several bottles on hand, just for you.”

“Yes, thank you.”

“You always preferred the very best or nothing at all. Why the long face, Jack? I would think you would be on cloud nine after Marino’s untimely death. That was brilliant, by the way. The boys haven’t stopped talking about it. That took balls to burn him alive and in front of the world to see. One for the books, Jack. We are in awe of you.”

“I don’t take any pleasure in that, Dominick. He took my wife and used her to get to me. I had no choice.”

“Oh, my friend, that’s where you are wrong. We always have a choice. It’s deciding if we were right in the end, but in your case, you were. If it wasn’t you, then he would have been dealt with eventually. Another mistake on my father’s part. Marino should have been handled back in Boston, but he got to live and cause more damage. But that’s over now. The investigation of Michael St. Clair’s murder has been closed, another unsolved to be filed away. I told you, Jack, we had your back, and there was nothing to be worried about.”

“With Marino coming unhinged when he did, he practically handed you your freedom on a silver platter. He was a liability for us and for the FBI. As most agencies tend to do, he will slowly be faded out until completely forgotten, and they will move on and forget he ever existed. Now, I do hope your lovely Sara, received my gifts.”

“She did. The flowers brightened her day, and the wine was delicious.”

All lies, by the way. She was too gracious to throw away something so beautiful, so she once again gave her flowers away to make someone smile. She didn’t want any tokens of affection from Dominick Carlucci. Just her name off his tongue pissed me off. The case of wine was divided up with the kitchen staff. It was an amazing vintage, but Sara ordered it to be gone, and I wasn’t going to refuse her requests. It was part of breaking off from the past. That was why I was here today.

“That makes me very happy, Jack. Now, what’s on your mind?” he asked as he handed me a cigar, looking quite relaxed in his father’s chair. Like a king on his throne. His arrogance made the room stink.

“Dominick, I will never forget my loyalties to this family, the bonds of friendship that were formed and still are strong to this day. I would never do anything to betray the trust you have in me, nor bring harm to this dynasty that your father built. You were right when you said I was bullied into making a decision that I knew I couldn’t live with. You lifted that burden off my shoulders, and set me free by doing so. I need you do that once again for me, today. I need my freedom from the ties that bind me to you and to this family. For whatever time I have left to spend on this earth, I want to live them in the light with my wife and my family, the family I was born into, my brother for one. Your family chose me, but I don’t belong here anymore. I am Giovanni Vanelli. I am my father’s son, not yours. It took almost losing myself to the same madness and promises of revenge, as it did to Marino.”