An Unlocked Heart(Collars & Cuffs Stories) (34 page)

Alex suddenly found it difficult to breathe. All he could think about was the image in his head of himself on all fours as Leo fucked him from behind, surrounded by men who were watching and cheering them on, their hands working their stiff cocks.

“What have you all been talking about?” Leo was standing in the doorway, bearing a tray of mugs. His question was met by a lot of sniggering, and his eyes alighted on Alex. “Or do I not want to know?”

Leo grinned, and Alex’s cheeks flamed. Oh, no
way
was he sharing this particular fantasy with Leo. Even if it
was
something that made his heart beat faster and his cock harden almost instantly.

With a start, Alex realized he’d zoned out. Leo was gazing at him, brows lifted, clearly intrigued, while the others continued to laugh at his reaction. Alex directed warning glares at them, only to be met by amused stares.
Yeah, like he could outstare six Doms….

“Y
OU
got everything?”

Alex was amazed. He and his father had spoken more that morning than they had in the last six months. They were standing by the front gate, all Alex’s worldly goods packed up in Trevor’s van. Jonathon had already left with three of the others for Leo’s apartment, and Trevor and Matt were taking the van.

“Yeah,” Alex replied. “Anything that’s left in the room can be chucked out. Unless Rob wants it, of course.” He snorted. He was grateful Rob wasn’t at home, because he had the sneaking suspicion Leo wouldn’t have been able to control his temper. Leo was standing by the Mazda, leaning back against it, his eyes on Alex.

His father glanced over at Leo. “So,” he began, his cheeks coloring slightly. “Leo’s your Dom, then.”

Alex’s jaw dropped. This was something he
so
did not want to be discussing with his father, especially in the street. “
Dad
!”

His father grinned sheepishly. “We got talking in the kitchen,” he admitted. Alex couldn’t help his look of astonishment. “What? I’ve read bits of that book of your mother’s.” Alex racked his brains furiously, wondering what on earth his Dad was talking about… until he recalled the paperback he’d seen his mother hastily stuffing into a drawer several weeks ago.

“Mum was reading
Fifty Shades of Grey
?” he exclaimed, incredulous.

“Isn’t everyone?” Dad said with a snort.

“Well
, I’m
not,” said Alex with a wry chuckle.

His father smirked. “Yeah, but
you’re
gay.”

That stopped Alex in his tracks. It was the first time his father had acknowledged his sexuality, and it brought a smile to his lips.

His father was watching him closely. “Does Leo know?” he asked, lowering his voice, his eyes flicking briefly over to where Leo was standing.

Alex frowned. “Does he know what?”

“That you’re in love with him.”

Alex froze, openmouthed.
What the
…
?

His father gazed at him affectionately. “I can recognize when someone’s in love, Alex. Even when he’s in love with another man. Not that
that
should make any difference. Love is love, son.”

Alex thought if his jaw could drop any lower, it would’ve hit the floor by now. “I-I haven’t said anything,” he admitted. “I don’t know how he feels about me.”

His father took him once more in a tight hug. “Then maybe you should find out.” He stepped back, clearing his throat, his eyes suspiciously bright. “Okay, you, time you were off.” He locked eyes with Alex. “The occasional call, letter, text, or e-mail would be appreciated, all right?” Alex nodded. “Alex… I do understand why you’re moving out. And if it helps, I think you’re doing the right thing. But as for your mother… let’s just leave things for a while, eh? See what develops.”

This new relationship with his father was more than Alex had ever hoped for, and it gave him such a feeling of optimism, the world suddenly seemed a brighter place. Waving, he walked toward the car where Leo was waiting. Leo, and whatever the future had in store for him.

Twenty-Seven

A
LEX
looked around at his new space. Leo had left him alone to sort out all the unpacking, which suited him just fine. The room was a good size, with plenty of drawer and wardrobe space for his clothing. There was even a desk under the window, although the view wasn’t as picturesque as the one from the lounge. The first thing Alex had done was try out the bed for firmness; it passed with flying colors. Although if Alex had
his
way, he’d never sleep in it.

Once the others left, leaving Alex lost in a sea of boxes, bags, and the general paraphernalia that went with any move, he’d finally had time to think, to analyze the situation in which he now found himself. And quite frankly, he didn’t know
what
to think. What was unsettling him most was this feeling of uncertainty. Where was this leading?

Of course, the simplest solution would be to actually
talk
to Leo. Yeah… like
that
was an easy option. Alex could just envisage
that
conversation taking place….

“Hey, Leo, can I ask… am I here ’cause you’re basically taking pity on me and getting me away from my parents? Or because you want me to move in with you as your lover? Oh yeah, and by the way…? I’m in love with you….”

Yeah, right….

There was a gentle knocking, and Leo popped his head around the bedroom door. “How does steak sound for dinner?”

Alex paused in the middle of placing his books into the small bookcase. Everything was virtually unpacked now, and Alex was flagging. And steak sounded wonderful. Right on cue, his stomach rumbled.

Leo chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes, shall I?”

Alex reddened. He glanced around at the room, which had at last taken on some semblance of order, and searched for the right words to convey even a small part of what he was feeling. Only to find his brain seemed to have seized up. “This is really good of you,” he said at last. He waited expectantly for Leo to say something,
anything
that would give him a clue as to what was going on in Leo’s mind right now.

Leo smiled. “I had the room; you needed it. End of story. Dinner in fifteen minutes, okay?” Alex nodded, and Leo withdrew.

Alex tried to push down his feelings of disappointment. After all, what could he expect? They’d only really been dating for just over five months, and even Alex had to admit, moving in together after that length of time was fast in anyone’s book, especially for a first relationship. That didn’t stop him from hoping, though.

So he had a room in a lovely apartment. Wi-Fi. Lots of space for all his stuff. His boyfriend just down the hall. And
finally
away from his little shit of a brother… and his mum. Yeah, he couldn’t complain. So why was his heart feeling so fucking heavy all of a sudden?

L
EO
sipped at his glass of red wine, noting, however, that Alex had barely touched his own.

“Is everything all right?” he inquired. Alex lifted his head and gave him a tired smile. Leo could have kicked himself. Of course the boy was tired. It had been an emotional roller coaster of a day, although Alex must have been ecstatic about the change in his relationship with Doug.

“Actually, I’m beat. Would you mind if I went to bed early?”

Leo nodded, and Alex got up, picking up his empty plate to take it into the kitchen, but Leo put out a hand to stop him. “I’ll take care of that. You go get settled, okay?”

Alex bent down and kissed Leo on the cheek before straightening and exiting the room.

Leo stared glumly at his wineglass. Not
exactly
what he’d envisioned for their first night sharing the apartment. What he
really
wanted was to take the boy to his bed, bury them both under the duvet, and fall asleep with him in his arms.
So why didn’t you say something, idiot?
The answer to that particular question was easy: Leo was scared. That familiar feeling of walking on eggshells was back. And Leo hated it. He longed for the easy rapport that had developed between the two of them during the last few months. No doubt it would return in time. After all, it was early days. But still, Leo’s stomach was in knots.

What it all came down to was this: there was no way Leo would place Alex under any pressure. He didn’t want gratitude. He wanted—no, he
craved
—Alex’s love. And hoped to God one day he’d have it.

E
MMY
B
ABE
:
So tell me again, why
exactly
are you not in bed with him right now?

MaybeGay: Not really sure.

EmmyBabe: Do you want to be?

MaybeGay: Fuck, yeah! But….

EmmyBabe: But…?

MaybeGay: There’s no way I’m gonna ask. “Hey, Leo, can I sleep with you tonight? Oh, and
every
other night, while we’re at it?” LOL

EmmyBabe: What are you scared of? He asked you to move in, didn’t he?

MaybeGay: Yeah, but….

EmmyBabe: There’s that little word again.

MaybeGay: LOL. Maybe… maybe it’s too soon.

EmmyBabe: Well, if you never ask, you’ll never know. Just think, he could be lying there right now, desperate for you to walk through his bedroom door and climb into his bed.

Maybe Gay: *So* not gonna happen, Em!

EmmyBabe: LOL. A girl can dream, can’t she?

MaybeGay: Suppose so. Oh, I don’t know! *bangs head on keyboard repeatedly*

EmmyBabe: Alex? Babe?

MaybeGay: What?

EmmyBabe: One day at a time, sweet cheeks. One day at a time.

A
LEX
lay on his side in his bed, curled up tight, hugging a pillow. Sleep was eluding him. At several points during the past few hours, he’d contemplated slipping quietly into Leo’s room and climbing into bed with him, only to reject the idea almost immediately.

If he’d wanted me in his bed, wouldn’t he have said something?
Alex was trying not to listen to the voice in his head right now. But he couldn’t help but wonder….

L
EO
paused outside Alex’s door, hand poised to turn the handle, and then he pulled back at the last minute. It just seemed so wrong, his boy alone in one room, Leo in another.

Why don’t you just go in there, for Christ’s sake?

Because it has to be something we
both
want,
he reasoned with himself. And that closed door was surely a sign, wasn’t it? With a heavy sigh, Leo silently padded back to his cold bed, climbed under the duvet, and stretched out an arm to touch the empty space beside him where Alex should’ve been. Where he
needed
Alex to be.

A
LEX
picked at the bowl of pasta in front of him. The staff room was empty, as he was the last to grab food before the late Sunday afternoon rush kicked in. Although, to be honest, he barely tasted the food. His mind was definitely elsewhere.

“Thank God, I’ve got you to myself for a minute.”

Alex looked up from his virtually untouched lunch. Pietro was gazing at him intently. Oh fuck. There was no escape.

“So, you wanna tell me where your head has been all day?” Pietro wasn’t smiling. If anything, he looked concerned.

Alex let out a sigh. Yep, there was definitely no getting away from this conversation.

Pietro’s voice softened. “Alex, you just moved in with your Dom, your lover. Why aren’t you on cloud nine? And come to think of it, why aren’t you at least walking funny? ’Cause if it were me, Miles would’ve nailed me to the bed all fucking night long.”

Alex met his gaze. “Well, that would have been a bit difficult, seeing as we slept in separate rooms last night.”

Pietro slipped into the empty chair beside Alex. “What happened, babe?”

Another sigh slipped from between Alex’s lips, and then he told Pietro everything that had been going through his mind, including how Leo had worded his proposal.

Pietro’s mouth tightened. “That’s what he said? Gee, I’m really feeling the love… not!” Alex shrugged. “No, I mean it, Alex. The man may be a kick-ass Dom, but it seems to me he needs a good talking to.”

Alex lifted his brows, smirking. “And are
you
gonna say anything?”

Pietro snorted. “No thanks. I like my balls where they are, thank you. But
someone
needs to give him a good ass-kicking, that’s for sure.”

Alex got up, picking up his uneaten food. “Yeah, well, it won’t be me. Gotta stay on the good side of my
landlord
.” He gave a slightly bitter smile.