And Then You Fall (Crested Butte Series) (5 page)

“Now this.” His hand moved to her back to unfasten her bra with practiced ease. He removed the pale pink lace and dropped it to the floor. “Beautiful,” he murmured.

“Skin on skin, this is what I’ve been thinking about, craving.”

Liv ran her hands down his firm pecs, over his chiseled abs, and down to the waistband of his jeans. She reached for his belt, but he caught her hand.

“You first.” His hands moved quickly to her panties, and pulled them down and over her hips as she shimmied them off. She pressed her lips to his shoulder blade and drew her tongue over his skin.

His breath caught and his abs tightened beneath her exploring lips. “No more waiting,” she said, reaching for his belt. He unfastened it and jerked his pants off his own hips, let them fall to the floor, and stepped out of them.

He turned away from her, leading her by the hand. “Your suite is much bigger than ours,” she commented. “Must be a perk of being famous.”

“No talking.” He turned her around, walking her backward, belly-to-belly in to the large open area of the suite. She looked up at him and he caught her mouth in a deep kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. He grabbed her ass in both large hands and pressed her more securely against him.

He started moving her backward again, not stopping until her legs came in contact with the bed. He eased her down onto the mattress, never taking his lips from hers.

He moved her where he wanted her, and lifted himself up. “I want to look at you Liv. I need to look at you first.”

He moved so he sat next to her, his hip touching hers, and ran his hands over her breasts, her belly and down across the heated flesh between her thighs.

“Ben,” she arched her back and swayed her hips, trying to position herself closer to him.

“Don’t rush me,” he said. “I’m still looking.”

“Less looking. More touching,” Liv groaned.

Suddenly he was on top of her, wedging his knee between her thighs, opening her up to him.

“Can’t wait.”

She gasped and tried to stop him, then realized he already wore a condom. When had he put that on? Her thundering heart raced out of control, who cares?

“Ben, please, just . . . please.”

“Oh baby, oh it’s so good.” She clenched around him, wanting to keep him where he was, a part of her, for as long as she could. Spasms of relief overtook her, spreading throughout her body as he moved over her, faster and faster, harder and harder, until she exploded.

“Again Liv, let’s figure out what else you like,” he said as he trailed gentle kisses along her jaw. “I’m not finished with you yet.”

Liv wrapped her arms and legs around him. The pressure began to build again inside her. Need engulfed her senses. Ben slowed, looking deeply into her eyes. “Now,” he growled, as he threw his head back and closed his eyes. Just as he had on stage.

She kissed his temple as he murmured the sweetest sounds she’d ever heard. Contentment.

“Be right back,” he rolled off in the direction of the bathroom.

He snuggled back into her, pulling her closer so her back was nestled against his front.

“I wish I wasn’t so tired,” he whispered. “I don’t want to miss a moment of being with you, but I have to sleep.”

“Mmm,” her eyes closed and she was asleep before he was.

Ben blinked himself awake and tried to get his bearings. He lifted his head from the pillow and felt Liv’s body cuddled against his. When he shifted, she woke up.

“Good morning beautiful,” he kissed the top of her head. Nothing felt better than waking up with her in his arms. He knew that now.

“What time is it?” He shifted again, looking at the clock on the night stand. “Eleven.”

“What? Eleven? Again. I never sleep this late.” She snuggled back into him. “It’s you. Your fault.”

Her stomach rumbled and he felt it against his own, it made him chuckle. “Hungry?”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve eaten since yesterday afternoon.”

“Liv, are you kidding? You must be starving.” He lifted her off of him and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

“No,” she protested. “Don’t go, come back here.”

“I’m just going to order some food, then you’ll have my undivided attention. What do you feel like eating?”

“Don’t care. Just need nourishment.”

He called room service and ordered more food than she thought the two of them could eat, then he stretched his body out next to hers again.

“What time’s your flight?” he asked, wishing he didn’t have to.

“Tomorrow morning. When is yours?”

“Seven.”

“Seven?” she gasped.

“Relax. Seven tonight.”

She let out a groan that sounded more like a stifled sob.

“I can change it. What time is your flight tomorrow? I’ll leave the same time you do.”

“No, you can’t do that. It’s okay, you have to get home. I understand.”

He sat back up, throwing his legs over the side of the bed again.

“Where are you going now? You promised your undivided attention.”

“Just give me a minute. Changing my flight time.”

That made her sit up. “No, Ben. I mean it. Don’t change your flight. It’s okay.”

“Really Liv, it isn’t a big deal, I can leave anytime I want to. Are you trying to tell me you’d rather not spend another night with me?”

“No. That isn’t it.”

“What is it then?”

“Your boys. This . . . this . . . whatever it is, shouldn’t come before your boys. I get that. I understand.”

“If that’s the only thing that’s worrying you, if you promise that’s it, I’m staying.” She started to speak and he put two fingers on her lips to stop her.

“If I left tonight, they’d be in bed long before I got home. And tomorrow is the day my boys hang with Grandma and Grandpa. Dad is not allowed to interfere with grandparent time. They’ll be up and out at the crack of dawn. This way, by the time they get back, I’ll be home. And, I’ll get to spend another few hours with you.”

“But . . .”

“But what? Liv I want to spend time with you. Is that so hard for you to accept? If I’m pushing too hard I guess you just need to say so.”

“No it isn’t that.” Liv got up and was climbing into her panties, looking for her bra.

He walked over to her, bringing his hand up to caress the side of her face, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Talk to me,” he said. “Tell me what’s going on with you. Are you worried about Paige?”

“No, that isn’t it. Paige travels all the time. She does her own thing. I don’t need to worry about her. I’m the one who’s usually waiting around with nothing to do.”

“Then what is it?” He rubbed his head again. “We already determined you like the bald head. I think we figured out a few other things you like just as well, if not better. Come on, give me somethin’ here. You ready to run away from me again Liv?”

She maneuvered out of his arms and walked over to the window, pulling the drapes back so she could look out over the Las Vegas Strip. What was she going to say? The more time she spent with him the harder it was going to be to let him go?

If she left now, her pride would stay intact. She’d walk away, thank him for a fantastic couple of days, wonderful memories, great sex, and ride off into the sunset, or at least to the elevator. If she was the one to say goodbye first, she might have more of a chance of keeping her emotions in check, not make a fool out of herself.

She looked over at Ben, who stood with his arms crossed, less than a foot from her. “Liv, tell me. I can see the wheels turning. Talk to me.”

“I really have to go. It’s been great, a great couple of days.” What else had she planned to say? She couldn’t think. “It’s been, you know, fun. But, I think it’s time to get back to real life now.” She was picking up her dress, looking for her shoes and her bag.

“Unh uh.”

“What?”

“No. This isn’t going down like this. You are not, I repeat, not running out of here. Even if I was leaving tonight, which I no longer am, I wouldn’t let you leave now. Who knows how long it will be before we see each other again? We haven’t even talked about that yet.”

Chapter 4

“Sure, that works, see you then.” Liv hung up her cell.

“All set?”

She bit her lip. “I know I said Paige was self-sufficient, but I hope she’s not mad at me. Honestly, as busy as she is and as much as she has to do, she’d never do this to me.”

“Do what?”

“Just leave me with no one to hang out with, you know, while we were traveling together.”

“What did she say? Did she sound angry?”

“She said she wanted me to enjoy myself, more than anything, so . . .”

“What else did she say? So . . . what?”

“So I wasn’t so damned grouchy when we got back home.”

Ben’s head tilted back again, and she heard him laugh. She loved his laugh, he did it with his whole body. His whole body experienced the joy of the moment. And it wasn’t just when he laughed, it was all the time. When he was on stage, when they were having sex.

He pulled her back down on t
he bed and shifted so she was lying right on top of him. “Skin on skin baby, you know how much I like this.” His hands worked their way up and down her back, pressing her closer to him.

“Can you sleep on the plane?”

“Hmm?”

“If I keep you up all night, can you sleep on the plane tomorrow?”

Ben hired a car to take them to McCarran. “Just fly back with me, it wouldn’t be a problem for us to fly into Centennial, drop you off and then fly over to Gunnison.”

“I didn’t realize you had your own plane when you said you were changing your flight.” Liv sounded peevish.

“Well, it isn’t mine, it’s the band’s, and we share time with my folks. My dad’s a pilot too.”

That got her attention. “My dad was a pilot. Air Force.”

“My father got his pilot’s license in his twenties, mainly to ferry my grandfather back and forth from Denver. He was never a military guy.”

“Oh.”

“You sound disappointed. Does it matter?”

No, it didn’t matter. Liv was just realizing that outside of great sex and undeniable mutual attraction, how much did they really have in common?

Last night Ben had insisted they talk about when they could see each other again. Liv had been evasive on purpose. He didn’t really think she believed him, did he? She knew what this was, it was a fling, just sex. He didn’t need to try to make her feel better about it by promising he’d call her. Did he think she was an idiot, or someone who wasn’t sophisticated enough to see this for what it was?

“I just thought we might have that in common,” she shrugged.

Ben looked at Paige, who shrugged too.

“Look, it’s a sweet offer, but we’ve got a car at DIA. Flying into Centennial will only complicate things. Let’s just say goodbye here. It’ll be easier that way.”

Ben looked at Paige again. “I thought you said if I stayed another night she
wouldn’t
be as grouchy.”

Paige couldn’t hold it in, she spit out her coffee as she laughed out loud.

“It isn’t funny,” Liv said, moving away from both of them. “I’ll be back in a minute.” She huffed off in the direction the ladies room.

“What . . . in . . . the . . . hell?” he looked to Paige. Granted, he might be used to getting his own way, and he could be a little stubborn, and maybe a little controlling, but this woman wasn’
t
givin
g
an inch.

“Go easy on her, she’s w-a-a-a-y out of her comfort zone with you. Let her be pissy, but like her anyway. She’ll come around.” Paige hesitated, “As long as you do.”

“Is that what it is? She thinks I’m not going to come around again?”

“She doesn’t think it, she knows it, at least that’s what she’s convinced herself.”

“How do you know all this? Did she get up in the middle of the night and call you while I was sleeping?”

“No, she didn’t. I know her. When I say she’s out of her comfort zone, she isn’t even on the same planet as her comfort zone when it comes to you. Cut her some slack, understand what the motivation is behind her behavior. Like I said, she’ll come around as long as you do.”

“Okay, ready Paige?” Liv touched Ben’s arm, stood up on her tiptoes, and kissed his cheek. “Bye Ben, thanks for everything, I had a lot of fun. Come on Paige, let’s go.” Liv turned and was two feet away from him before he realized what she was doing.

Two long strides later he grabbed her around the waist and spun her back to him. “Oh no, we aren’t doing
this
again. Come here baby.” His mouth covered hers before she could protest. His hand held the back of her head close, so she couldn’t pull away, couldn’t break their kiss, until he was ready to. His other arm came around and he squeezed her behind with his big hand. And released her.

“I’ll talk to you later baby. Have a safe flight.” With that he turned around and walked in the other direction.

Liv stood completely still, stunned, then looked at Paige. “Not. A. Word. Got it?”

“Got it,” Paige giggled.

Twenty minutes into the flight Liv was still behaving as though nothing particularly significant had happened to her over the past couple of days. Paige was worried.

“You okay?” Paige wasn’t sure whether she wanted to open floodgates just yet.

“I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

“I’m not playing this game. You know perfectly well why I asked. Now start talking . . . how are you feeling about Ben, about what’s happened, about all of it?”

“I’m not playing games Paige, when I say I’m fine, I mean it.”

“Not buyin’ it.”

“Why not? Look, I just lived out every woman’s fantasy. I had a whirlwind romance with a guy I thought was completely out of my league. I had fantastic, mind-blowing sex, and then he offered to fly me home on his private plane. Seriously, why wouldn’t I be fine?”

“Maybe because you just said goodbye to him.”

“What does that have to do anything? I went into this with my eyes wide open. Maybe not the first day, but you pointed out something to me that I hadn’t considered. It changed my whole outlook.”

“Which something was it?”

“That I hadn’t had sex since Scott died. You know how messed up that is? It’s crazy abnormal in a freakishly weird way. And if it wasn’t for Ben, who knows when or if I ever would’ve again. So, yeah, I repeat, I’m fine.”

“No regrets, no self doubts, no wondering when you’re going to see him again?”

“None of the above. And as far as seeing him again, I have no intention of allowing that to happen.”

Liv turned her face toward the window and closed her eyes. Every time she did, she could see Ben. Yes, she had an ache in her heart, but what good would it do to admit it, or allow herself to get absorbed by it? No good. Ben had a great big, exciting bigger-than-life life. She had . . . her ranch. And there was nothing wrong with that, she was lucky to have it. But other than that, and an amazing daughter who was out creating her own life, independent of her mother, there wasn’t much more she brought to anyone’s table.

“You don’t fool me.”

“Paige, please let it go.”

“No I’m not going to let it go. He wants to see you again, he said it, and I believe him.”

“To what end? What would be the point?” Paige was making her angry. Why wouldn’t she just drop it?

“Why do you keep yourself on the outskirts of life? It breaks my heart when I see you do it. You are an amazing woman, and yet it seems as though you’re done. You raised your daughter and now you’re starting the descent, into what I don’t know. Your life isn’t over Liv, it’s just beginning. Why won’t you let yourself take a chance with this guy? He seems to really like you.”

“Enough Paige! Why do you have to push me so hard? I had a great time. I had great sex. I didn’t fall in love and I don’t plan to, not ever again. Scott was it for me. He was the great love of my life. There, are you happy? You made me say it. Now leave me alone.”

“Oh sweetie . . .” Paige tried to comfort her but Liv jerked her shoulder away.

Paige could see Liv’s shoulders shaking, she’d brought her to tears. God, what kind of a friend was she? Liv had been fine, but Paige had pushed her to the point where she wasn’t fine anymore. Why hadn’t she just let it be?

Because she cared about her. Paige wanted Liv to see what she was doing to herself. She doubted Liv would even go out if she and Mark didn’t always push her to. They’d invite Liv out, Liv would refuse, and between her and Mark, they wouldn’t let up on her until she finally gave in.

Even this trip to Las Vegas, Liv wouldn’t have gone if Paige hadn’t pushed her to go. There needed to come a time when Liv decided for herself that she wanted back in the game of life, it shouldn’t be up to Paige to force the issue.

Paige decided it would be best if she kept her mouth shut the rest of the flight. Liv didn’t seem to feel the need to fill the silence. They were walking up the ramp from the plane to the terminal before Liv spoke.

“I’m sorry. I know you mean well.”

Paige sighed, wishing there was something she could say that would make a difference. She hated to think Liv would spend the rest of her life alone. It was up to Ben now. If he cared about Liv the way he said h
e did, Liv would hear from him.

***

Liv didn’t want to tell Paige that when she’d turned her cell back on after the flight, there was a text from Ben, with a photo. And a voicemail from him, which she didn’t intend to listen to until she got home and was alone.

The picture was of him on the plane, pouting. And he wrote,
I’m not letting go of this Liv.

She doubted their little fling amounted to much more than a blip on his radar. He probably kept a string of girls on the hook, one in every city—his hookup girls. She had no intention of being one of them. She just wouldn’t answer him, he’d lose interest, and go away.

Her phone beeped again, another text from him.
Hey baby, how was your flight? Miss you already.
Oh God, what was he doing? She powered down her phone and put it in her bag.

“Hear from him?”

“Nope and I don’t expect to.” She’d just lied to Paige, and she didn’t have any idea why.

She dropped her bags inside the back door and went straight to the barn. Mark had been taking care of her horses along with the others that boarded with her, but right then all she could think about was riding as hard and as fast and as far as Micah would take her.

“Hey sweet boy,” she said as she walked into the stall. “Let’s ride, what do you say?” Micah, lover boy that he was, nuzzled up against her. “Did you miss me? I missed you.” She scratched down his nose and led him out of the stall.

Ten minutes later he was saddled up and they were out on the trail. From her hundred-acre ranch out County Line Road, she had a perfect view of Pikes Peak and the rest of the Front Range. There was nothing like the wide open spaces and blue skies of Colorado.

When her father retired he bought this ranch, knowing how much Liv had always wanted a horse of her own. He had promised her that one day they would live in a place where she could. Being an Air Force family meant they moved every two or three years. Having a horse, or even a dog, had been out of the question given the life they led. Liv’s mother hadn’t been keen on the idea of living so far outside of town, but the Black Forest community was a tight-knit one, and the loneliness she’d expected from their secluded location never materialized.

They made friends with the other ranchers and just about every weekend there was a social function either with them or with other retired Air Force families.

Liv was a freshman in high school when they moved here twenty-six years ago. She’d left briefly when she and Scott were married. Now she considered it home and never planned to leave.

Micah wound his way through the heavily-treed trail without much coaxing from Liv. Once they reached the top of the short incline they would come to a clearing and a wide-open meadow where he could run fast and hard.

“Ready boy?” she said, giving him a little kick, and Micah took off like a rocket. This was freedom. No worries, just her and her horse. She was thankful every day that her father bought this ranch.

Her parents died within a couple of years of each other, her dad went first, over ten years ago, followed by her mom. Liv still missed them, she couldn’t imagine the feeling ever going away. She had been an only child and very close to both her parents. Renie was the light of all their lives. Once her mom and dad were gone, the house was a little too quiet.

Since the ranch was bought and paid for, no mortgage, and her parents had left her a generous sum of money allowing her to be comfortable for the rest of her life, Liv hadn’t needed to worry about how she’d support herself and her daughter. But between the two of them, they’d decided to take in boarded horses anyway. It provided a bit of an income, but more, it provided some company when the people boarding them came to ride.

One of the neighboring ranches was owned by a couple who had become like a second family to Liv. The Pattersons had been leasing their ranch land for their cattle since before Liv’s father owned it. It added income, provided for the care and maintenance of the land, and it also gave them some excitement. Calving season, branding, all of it gave her and Renie life experiences they wouldn’t have otherwise known. Liv wasn’t much of a ranch hand herself, but she was always willing to dish out a hot meal for the cowboys and wranglers at busy times of the year. That was when she’d started baking. Her pies had become the dessert mainstay of Patterson Ranch barbecues.