And When She Was Good (27 page)

Authors: Laura Lippman

BOOK: And When She Was Good

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But as much as the house sets Heloise's teeth on edge, it's a palace of wonders to Scott. It's his first glimpse into his prehistory, his first chance to contemplate the world that made him. What else does Heloise have to show him? Her high school. A house in Baltimore County, although they probably couldn't get past the front gate? A copse of trees where a gun was hidden, those forsaken holes of dirty cash? A downtown hotel, the Central Library? Perhaps she should be grateful for this tacky little house.

The visit is constrainedâintimacy can't be jump-startedâbut her mother is charmed by her only grandson, and Scott clearly likes the
idea
of a grandmother. Maybe they will have time to forge a real relationship, especially once she's closer to them. Maybe not. At any rate, Heloise will have done her best.

“Why did you change your mind?” her mother asks while Scott investigates such basement wonders as a dusty carpet sweeper and a waist-high deep freeze.

“One day I might need Scott to forgive me for some things,” she says. “So I thought I would try to forgive you.”

“For what?” her mother says. It's unclear which part she needs clarified. Can she really not know? Or does she see things differently?

“It's a long story.” True on both counts.

“But you know it doesn't work that way, right? That forgiveness is notâ What's the word?”

“It doesn't have transitive properties.”

“What?”

“Just because I forgive you, it doesn't mean Scott will forgive me if that day will come.”

“Aren't you fancy?”

Heloise believes she detects a note of pride in her mother's voice.

B
ack in Turner's Grove, sitting at the little shelf that really is Mother's office nowâthe basement office has been emptied and locked, never to be entered again as long as they live hereâHeloise goes over her schedule for the next day, sips a glass of wine.

Audrey comes in to review which appointments she has to cover tomorrow, who's going to pick up Scott at school. Strangely, since Heloise started helping other women with their lives, her once-smooth-sailing routine seems slightly more chaotic, harder to control. Her male clientele was orderly, predictable. For the women she serves, the emergencies and conflicts never stop coming, and that backs up on her. She needs employees, but she can't afford their salaries, not yet.

So Audrey's still working for Heloise, although Heloise can't offer her anything more than room and board. Instead Heloise has given her a partnership stake in the new business. Why not? It has to turn out better than the collaboration with Val.

“How was the visit?” Audrey asks.

“It was okay.”

“Only okay?”

“Only okay.”

Audrey takes Heloise's terse answers as her cue to leave. She's a true silent partner. Unlike Val.
He plays a very long game,
Terry had told Heloise. Okay, so she's not safe. That's the irony. She never was. She never will be. But thenâno one is safe in this world. The best you can hope to do is create an illusion of safety for your children for as long as possible. Scott has nightmares now, real ones, even though he never saw what happened in the house. (Bless Coranne, who kept him all that terrible weekend and somehow kept him away from the news.) But he knows, of course. Heloise will sell if she can find something smaller in the same school district, get a good price for this now-infamous house. For the time being, they are stuck here, and for all the cleaning that has been done, she still finds errant spots of blood lurking on the moldings, hiding in the garage.

She works by the light of her laptop, enjoying the darkness, the view through the rear windows, her own still-impressive reflection rebounding back to her, although the dim light obscures the inch of roots in her hair. She sees the lights on in other homes, imagines other women still up, poring over schedules, trying to figure out how to get through life one day, one appointment, one obligation at a time. She's one of them now.

Maybe she always was.

Author's Note

This is a work of fiction. While I
read quite a bit about prostitutionâI'd like to single out Jeanette Angle (
Call Girl
) and Christine Wiltz (
The Last Madam
)âI once again took comfort in the wisdom of Donald
Westlake: “I became a novelist so I could make things up.” Heloise Lewis's
business model is of my own design, and if she is mistaken in her beliefs about
what will keep her safe from prosecutionâwell, that's sort of the point of the
novel, isn't it? We are all, at some point or another in our lives, mistaken
about the amount of control we have, how shrewd we might be. It has always been
my contention that Heloise Lewis is an American everywomanâa single mother
trying to maintain a civil relationship with her son's father, a small-business
woman nervous about her future.

I also feel compelled to point out that
Heloise first entered my imagination in 2001âbefore the real housewives of
anywhere, before
Weeds,
before
Washingtonienne
. And also before the unrelated suicides of two
different madams, one in D.C. and one in the BaltimoreâD.C. suburbs. In the
post-9/11 world in which I pitched stories about Heloise, I think I sounded a
little daft. In 2006, however, Harlan Coben asked me to write a story for an
anthology in which the theme was love. I asked: “What about a mother's love for
her son? And what if that woman was a prostitute?” He had no problem with it. So
thanks to Harlan for the chance to bring Heloise to life, finally. This book
might not exist if it weren't for the invitation.

Two years later, a book of previously
published short stories was heading to publication and my editor, Carrie Feron,
asked if I could write at least one new piece for the collection. In two weeks,
I wrote “Scratch a Woman,” a novella about Heloise's twisted relationship with
her half sister, Meghan. Still, I always knew I wanted to come back to this
complicated woman and explore how she became who she was. How she got in and how
she got out.

There are some small discrepancies between
Heloise's historical record, if you will, and this novel. See above: “Donald
Westlake .Â .Â . make things up.” One character decided he deserved a
different name. Scott's soccer skills eroded slightly as he aged, but that
happens. Turner's Grove is completely fictional, as is Heloise's church and
Tommy's Market. And, of course, every single politician referenced here is a
fictional creation. Politicians with prostitutes! Some people probably think
I've entered the fantasy genre with this book.

As always, I had help. As always, I'm the
only one responsible for any errors. Thanks to William F. Zorzi Jr., who
indulged my fictional flights about a bogus lobbyist and how she might operate;
thanks to Bill Salganik, who provided me lots of information and sources about
health care, which I ended up not using.

Then there is the Mouseketeer roll call of
regulars: David Simon; Alison Chaplin; Maureen Sugden; Vicky Bijur; Carrie
Feron; and pretty much everyone at HarperCollins/William Morrow, including, but
not limited to, Michael Morrison, Liate Stehlik, Lynn Grady, Sharyn Rosenblum,
Tessa Woodward, and Stephanie Kim. A shout-out to Beth Tindall, who deserves an
island of her own. Finally, thanks again to Sara Kiehne for taking such good
care of Georgia Rae Simon. Also, thanks to all the people on Facebook who
tolerate my word counts and bursts of enthusiasm for kale and shoes.

The book is dedicated to three good friends,
but also to all women. The fact is, I am eternally grateful that I didn't get to
write Heloise's story for a decade. Like her, I had a long journey to make. And
while I don't have a “Mother's office” in a McMansion, I've been known to have a
glass of wine in the dark at the end of a long, exhausting day. Sometimes
two.

L
AURA
L
IPPMAN

A
PRIL
2012

About the Author

L
AURA
L
IPPMAN
has been awarded every major prize in crime fiction. Since the publication of
What the Dead Know
, each of her hardcovers has
hit the
New York Times
bestseller list. A recent
recipient of the first-ever Mayor's Prize, she lives in Baltimore, Maryland, and
New Orleans with her husband, David Simon, their daughter, and her stepson.

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Also by Laura Lippman

The Most Dangerous Thing

I'd Know You Anywhere

Life Sentences

Hardly Knew Her

Another Thing to Fall

What the Dead Know

No Good Deeds

To the Power of Three

By a Spider's Thread

Every Secret Thing

The Last Place

In a Strange City

The Sugar House

In Big Trouble

Butchers Hill

Charm City

Baltimore Blues

Credits

Cover design by Mary Schuck

Cover photograph by Shutterstock

This book is a work of fiction. References to
real Âpeople, events, establishments, organizations, or locales are intended
only to provide a sense of authenticity, and are used fictitiously. All other
characters, and all incidents and dialogue, are drawn from the author's
imagination and are not to be construed as real.

AND WHEN SHE WAS
GOOD
. Copyright Â© 2012 by Laura Lippman. All rights reserved under
International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required
fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access
and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be
reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored
in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form
or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter
invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

FIRST
EDITION

ISBN 978-0-06-170687-5

EPub Edition Â© SEPTEMBER 2012 ISBN:
9780062201614

12 13 14 15 16
OV/RRD
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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