I took in the time in his car clock. Wow! How was it already after 4:45? We'd been sitting here far too long. I wondered if my mother had seen us. If so, I was so dead. Plus, the fact that I totally blew off piano practice. “I have to go.”
“I know. That's why we're at your house.”
“Ah, now you're the funny one.”
“Can I see you later?”
“I totally have to practice for Saturday. I promised my dad.”
“Oh, yeah, the recital. Well, call me later or something. Can I pick you up for school tomorrow?”
“No.”
“No?” He looked surprised and a little hurt at my answer.
“I have a dentist appointment in the morning. So, I won't be at school until lunch.”
“Bummer.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Well, call me. I'll give you more batting advice.”
“Can't wait.” I grabbed my bag and got out of his car. Why was it so hard leaving him? I'd see him tomorrow, but it felt like I'd never see him again. How silly was that?
He did a U-turn in my driveway and took off for home.
Then I just stood there for a minute more taking everything in. I really had a boyfriend! One of the cutest boys in school totally likes me! I had to call Amy.
I turned to walk up the driveway and that's when I saw her.
My mother. She'd evidently been spying on me, and she looked like she was ready to read me the riot act this time.
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16
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Mom shoved open the door and let me inside the house. She didn't say a word as she slowly slid the door closed. It was like she had begun mentally reviewing her opening statements on a particularly complicated case. Except that this wasn't a case. It was my life.
And I knew exactly what she was going to say. Well, not exactly, because it wasn't like I'd ever come home with a boy before. But I had an idea of the direction things were going to go.
“Andrea.” My name came out low and drawn out. It was the commencement to a long speech. I could tell.
Her lips pressed together so tight I couldn't even see them anymore. But she didn't look angry. In fact, she looked almost like she repressed a smile. Could it be true? My mother might actually be happy her daughter had finally caught the attention of a boy? Wouldn't that be switch around here?
“Was that the Luke you mentioned before?” She clasped her hands together.
I figured honesty and directness would be the best plan of action. “Yes.” I raised my chin so that we looked pretty much eye to eye. Mom and I were both on the tall side.
“And he drove you home after school, I take it.”
“Well, obviously.”
Her mouth slanted and her right eyebrow rose. I guess she didn't exactly appreciate my sarcasm. “Except you didn't come right home. It's almost time for dinner.”
“I know it is.” My voice wasn't sounding very respectful at the moment.
“Where have you been?”
“Just the batting cages.”
“The batting cages?” She didn't look like she believed me.
I hated when she put on the parental mantle. I much preferred when she tried to be my friend and took me out for cappuccinos and shopping at the mall. “Yes, the batting cages. Luke is like an all-star baseball player.”
“I see. And then you came home.”
“Yes, Mom. That was it. I promise.”
“What about that kiss?” Something similar to humor moved into her face as she spoke. “Is this something the two of you do on a regular basis?”
“Mom!” I tried to infuse as much shock as I could into my tone. “I don't think that's any of your business.”
“It's very much my business, and I'm sure your father would agree.”
I rubbed my forehead. “You're going to tell Dad?”
“Of course.” She released a deep breath. “It goes without saying that you already know the rules around here. I don't need to restate them.”
“I know, Mom. It was Luke Ryan. He's new from California. He asked me to homecoming and I accepted.”
“You accepted?” She wasn't trying very hard to mask her surprise. “I assume you were you going to ask permission to attend this event at some point?”
“I was going to ask youâ¦tonight.”
“Andrea, you know your recital is the day after tomorrow.”
“I know. Do you really think I'm not aware of that fact?” I crossed my arms and leaned into the staircase banister.
“And you promised your dad you'd practice today since you took last night off.”
“I know. I'll still practice.”
“And do your homework?”
“Yes.”
Mom started shaking her head and her gaze exhibited her disappointment. I hated that look. I'd rather she yelled at me than to see the disappointment staring back at me.
“So I guess I'm forbidden to go to the dance with Luke.”
“Let's go sit in the den and discuss this.” She'd folded her hands back together and spoke calm and diplomatic. This was the problem in having a previous litigator for a mother. My mom is way good at the cross examination, and I so wasn't going there.
“Why, Mom? I mean, what's the point? You are just going to tell me noâthat I don't have time for a dance, that boys are just a distraction and I'll lose focus from the goal.”
“Andrea!” Now she used the shocked tone.
OK, I guess I can't blame her as I'd spoken rather loudly.
“That's not what I was going to say.”
“Don't worry, Mom. I'm not on a rebellious streak. I'll break it off with Luke and be your perfect angel once again complete with my spinster halo.” With that, I grabbed my bag and ran up the stairs to my room.
~*~
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Just as anticipated, my mother arrived at my door at 5:00 PM like clockwork. “Andrea, dinner's ready. I made your favoriteâpot roast with the little red potatoes you love.”
“I'm not hungry,” I said through the door.
“Look, Andi, I know we've all been a little edgy lately, but my door is open if you want to talk.”
“Thanks.”
“Well, if you change your mind about eating, you know where it is.”
I didn't answer, and she left a couple seconds later.
uhh!
I stuck my head under my pillow and tears skittered down my cheek. I hated when I fought with my parents. It didn't happen often, but this time I'd been so rude to my mother. She just wanted to talk, but I knew what the outcome would be. She would convince me that the best option was her option. Either way, it meant I had to tell Luke that I would not be attending homecoming with him. Not to mention the grounding I would undoubtedly get as well for breaking house rules.
Poor Luke. He'd tried to text me a couple times, but I didn't have the heart to respond. What would I say, anyway? “
Remember when I told you I'd go with you to homecoming. Well, gotcha, I was just kidding
.” He was going to hate me.
Dad would probably forbid me from seeing Luke again anyway after the way I acted. As if he knew I was thinking about him, my dad knocked on the door the next minute. “Andrea, open the door.”
“Leave me alone, Dad.” I sat up in bed and crushed a pillow into my stomach.
“Open the door, now.” I knew from his tone that he'd get the door open with or without my help. It was best to just comply.
I unlocked the door, and then hurried back to my bed and covered up with my Superman fleece blanket.
Dad whipped open the door. With an ominous glare in his eyes, he looked angrier than I'd ever seen him.
Self-preservation made me take on the daddy's-little-girl persona.
“Hi, Daddy.” I smiled at him and a tear leaked down my cheek. My surliness with my mother had totally evaporated. I was really in no mood for a fight, anyway. Crying really takes it out of you.
Dad pulled out my desk chair and took a seat facing me. He braced his right foot on his left knee and folded his fingers on top of his stomach. “Andrea, what's going on? This isn't you. You don't behave like an out-of-control teenager with your mother.”
“I know, Dad.” My eyes started filling with tears. “I'm sorry.”
“It's not me you should be apologizing to, is it?” He was right.
I totally owed Mom an apology. I was a horrible, horrible daughter and deserved to be flogged.
“Your recital is on Saturday. Now isn't the time to start acting like this.”
Tears spilled down my face. I really felt bad about the way I'd behaved, but my heart hurt because I knew whatever had started with Luke was coming to an end.
“I know you seem to really like this boy at school.”
It felt really weird to be talking to my dad about this. Weird in a nauseous sort of way. “His name is Luke.”
“Well, are you sure this Luke is a good influence on you?”
“Dad, no. Luke hasn't done anything wrong. It's all been me.” The tears were becoming so thick I couldn't see. “He didn't know.”
“Even so, you know the rules around here. You've been sneaking around behind our backs with him and breaking our trust.”
“I know. Iâ¦I'm sorry.” A sob escaped me. “I'm really sorry and I want to apologize to Mom for how I acted. In fact, I'll go have some dinner now and tell her.” I wiped tears away with the side of my hand.
“That sounds like a good idea.” He pushed the chair in, and then turned back around. “We'll talk later about your grounding.”
I nodded to him and my appetite for dinner dwindled to nothingness. I didn't think I could ever eat again after all this. How could I tell Luke? It really was over.
Dad held out one arm to me. I got off the bed and he gave me a quick hug. “There will be other times for things like homecoming. I know you're under a lot of pressure, but it will get better. I promise.”
“I know.” And yet I knew it never would. Once this recital was over, there would be another one to take its place, especially if I got into the performing arts school. Then I'd probably never have time to see Luke again.
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~*~
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Dear Luke,
I just want you to know how much I value the time we've spent together. As much as it pains me to do this, I regretfully have to let you know that I can't go to homecoming with you on Saturday and I really don't have the time to date. I hope we can still be friends.
Take care,
Andrea
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I read the email over once and knew what had to be done.
Delete, delete, delete.
I couldn't send it. I couldn't tell him. It didn't even sound like me. Besides, letting a guy down and breaking up with him after less than twenty-four hours should probably be done in person.
I thought about calling Amy and asking her opinion, but I already knew that she'd say a break-up over email was really cold. Of course, she'd tell me to try to get my parents to allow me to date Luke. She just didn't get it even if she has known my parents since she was six. For some reason, she thought they were cool and reasonable like her mom. She had it so easy.
Instead of the email, I sent Luke a text.
If you have a chance in the morning, can we talk?
Not even a minute later, he replied.
Sure. Or we could talk now. :) WRUD?
HW and piano practice. Meet me at the Coffee Cup @ 6:30 tomorrow am. Or is that too early.
Not too early. I'll B there. Night, Andrea.
Luke was way too sweet, and after tomorrow, he was going to despise me. Sometimes I really hated my life.
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October 2
0
Nugget of Truth: Proverbs 5:12-14 How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction! I would not obey my teachers or turn my ear to my instructors.
And I was soon in serious trouble in the assembly of God's people
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What can I say more than the words from these verses I read this morning? I am in the mess I am in because I did not listen and obey. I've been so focused on myself and my own neurotic problems that I've neglected everything else. If I had spent a second thinking about others, I might have realized how this situation would affect my parents, and then I might not have been so horrible to them and we might have just sat down and talked it out like we usually do. Instead, I am grounded and miserable.
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I glanced at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Still, the endowment fairies neglected me. My hair remained flat and lackluster, my eyes just as much a greenish murkiness as ever, but my complexion had actually improved and remained clear and creamy.
Go me!
Now I had to leave for the Coffee Cup and meet Luke to break up with him. It's really strange. I've never had a boyfriend before and now after only a day I get to let him go forever.
And then he'll see Stephanie while decorating for the banquet this afternoon, and she'll convince him that she's the one. And they'll go out and flaunt it right in front of my eyes and live happily ever after including a Cinderella style wedding followed by three adorable kids with his stunning eyes and her gorgeous skin.
Getting accepted into the performing arts school sounded better every second. Wait! I had to stop this. I was being self-centered again. I should be thinking about Luke. I covered my face as my eyes grew misty. Life was so unfair. Sniffing back the sob in my throat, I stood straight and peered once more at myself in the mirror.
Well, time to face the music. I gave myself an encouraging smile, and then flipped off the light. I hurried out the front door and started my trudge to the Coffee Cup. It was like my Trail of Tears except I wasn't being removed from my home and forced onto a reservation. I just had to hurt the one person who'd been nicer to me than anyone ever has.