Andy Squared (21 page)

Ryder followed him as he paced, trying to catch up with him, but Andrew evaded him. He wanted his comfort but didn't think he'd be able to hold himself together if he got it. “Not all parents are. I'm sorry, Andy. I really am. I shouldn't have kissed you there.”

“You thought we were alone. It's not your fault. I could have pushed you away, but I didn't.” Andrew sighed and shook his head, defeated. “Look, can I stay here tonight?”

“Of course. Tomorrow we'll figure out what we're going to do.”

“We?”

“You think I'm going to be a jerk and let you go through this alone?”

“But before…”

“You mean what happened in Texas? That was different. My parents aren't around, okay? We'll talk to Uncle Kyle in the morning and figure something out. Andrea saw me, too. It's going to get out anyway. Better to have the two of us together than face this alone, right?” Ryder offered him a weak smile.

Andrew sighed and looked up at him, his eyes red and slightly swollen from crying in the truck. Ryder pulled him into his arms and kissed his forehead. “Let's get you a cup of tea or something.”

“I don't drink tea.”

“It's warm and it'll calm you down. You're drinking it now,” he said and smiled.

Andrew sat down on the couch while Ryder went into the kitchen. He could hear him fill the kettle with water and set it loudly on the glass stovetop. The sound of the cabinets opening and closing followed by a tin popping open filled his senses as he let his mind wander.

Did I leave too quickly? Dad didn't really seem that upset. Maybe he was just worried.
Andrew shook his head.
No way, I'm just imagining that. He's pissed, just like Andrea. And Mom…Mom looked so miserable. She heard every word Andrea said. Oh God, did she really have to bring that up? I've never mentioned anything like that to them. I've always kept it secret. Why did she have to tell them that?
Andrew cringed as his thoughts flew. What were his parents thinking about right now? Were they thinking about their son being gay? Were they thinking about kicking him out? Would they do that?

“I feel like shit,” Andrew announced as Ryder slipped back into the room.

“Here,” Ryder said, holding out one steaming mug, holding one for himself in his free hand. “This will make you feel less like it.” He grinned faintly.

Andrew took a sip. “This isn't so bad,” he said, surprised.

“See? I told you. It has mint in it. My aunt likes it.”

“When are they going to be home?”

“I don't know. Soon? It doesn't matter; they won't mind that you're here. We don't have to say anything until tomorrow, though, if you want. It might be easier, so you have some time to think.”

Andrew nodded and continued to sip the tea, staring into the flames of the fire. “I'm going to have to face Andrea eventually,” he sighed. “I want my room finished. I can't sleep in there with her anymore.”

“Understandable. You shouldn't have been sleeping in there to begin with. Your room should have been finished long ago.”

“Yeah. But she and I have always been so close, you know? We shared everything: secrets, friends, soccer. A room didn't seem like that big a problem temporarily. Do you know what she called me tonight?”

“No, but I can guess.”

“A fag.”

“I guessed right,” Ryder admitted.

“I didn't think that could hurt, being directed at me. I mean, the guys on the team say it all the time, and it's always been a joke. They don't really mean it.”

“Names are different when people say them and really mean them. And when it's directed at you like that.”

“I wonder if this is how Joshua feels when people call him that. God, it's awful.”

Ryder smiled and patted his shoulder. “Makes everything different, doesn't it? You know, Josh isn't such a bad guy. He's really nice.”

“You really did talk to him?”

“Huh? Yeah, I did. Why? You knew about that?”

“Well, Charlie said…back before you and Charlie made up, he said that you were talking to Josh. And he asked if you were…”

“If I was gay? A fag?”

“Yeah. But I said no. Even though I knew, because I didn't want him to say anything to anyone else and cause trouble for you.”

“Thanks for that. But knowing your sister it will be out now, no matter what we want. Why don't we just head to bed? You must be exhausted,” Ryder said, taking the mug from Andrew's hands.

“How come you're not?”

“I wasn't the one to face the barrage of insults from family. I'll probably be tired after dealing with it at school, if this gets out of control.”

If
this gets out of control? More like
when
, Andrew thought in despair.

With the mugs in the sink, they headed upstairs. Andrew changed into a pair of Ryder's sweats and crawled into bed with him. At Andrew's insistence, Ryder had locked the door. Once in bed, Ryder pulled him close and kissed his forehead. “Just get some sleep. Try not to think about it. We'll do that tomorrow.”

Andrew nodded and closed his eyes. He felt Ryder fall asleep next to him, but it didn't come so easily for him. Andrew lay awake a long time, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about what the morning would bring. Would his sister be rational and apologize for what she said? Would his parents even want to see him? What would Charlie and Sarah say when they found out?

Andrew woke the next morning to an empty bed. He rolled over and looked at the clock, which told him he had slept until after ten. He'd barely gotten any sleep last night. Groaning, he sat up and rubbed his eyes. Somewhere in the house he could hear voices. One of them must have been Ryder.

He got up out of bed and grabbed some of Ryder's clothes and tugged them on. His own jeans were suspiciously missing. Hesitating at the door, he finally opened it and went downstairs.

Ryder and his aunt and uncle sat in the living room, all nursing cups of coffee. When they saw him come into the room, Mrs. Kensington smiled and stood up. “Morning, Andrew. There's breakfast in the kitchen if you want it. You'll have to heat it up, though.”

“Thanks,” he replied, though food didn't entice him. Instead he got a cup of coffee and joined them in the living room. He took a sip before setting it on the table. “So, Andrew, Ryder tells us you had a bit of trouble last night,” Mr. Kensington said softly to break the tension. It only served to make it worse.

“You could say that, yeah.”

“We just want you to know that if you need to stay here for a few days until things smooth over, then that's fine with us. And if you'd like, I'll talk with your father.”

“Thank you, Mr. Kensington, but I don't know how they would take that.”

“Sure. I know it's none of my business.”

After a few minutes of tense silence, Ryder's uncle cleared his throat, sipped his coffee and straightened up. “You should give your parents a call. They're probably worried about you.”

“They would have called by now if they really were,” Andrew argued, but he knew he had a point. His stomach knotted at the prospect of calling, and he took a sip of his coffee to stall the moment, though it tasted like ash in his mouth.

Andrew left to make the call, standing outside of the living room but close enough for help should his father, say, climb through the phone to kill him. He dialed the number as slowly as possible, taking a deep breath to steady himself as he pressed the last button and waited. Temptation to press the End Call button pulsed through his veins.

He prayed his sister didn't answer the phone, but didn't know which would be worse: his father or his mother. The phone continued to ring and he had been about to hang up, relieved and convinced it was a lost cause, when his father answered.

“Hello?”

Andrew took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and leaned against the wall for support. “Dad, it's me.”

“Andrew! Thank God you're all right. We thought something happened to you when you wouldn't answer your cell phone.”

“I never heard it. Sorry,” he said, wondering where he had put his phone. It must have fallen out in the truck.

“Where are you?”

“At the Kensingtons'.”

“Thank God. That's what we figured.”

“Why didn't you call then?”

“We didn't want to worry them if you hadn't shown up there, Andy. The last thing we wanted was for them to go out to find you and get hurt. I knew I could trust your judgment, even if you left in a hurry last night.”

“Dad, I'm sorry. For not telling you a-and for how you found out.”

“So it really is true, then?”

Andrew hesitated and stared at the fireplace. The fire burned, though not as brightly as the night before. Maybe the light outside had brightened and made the room glow differently. He paced to the front window and peered out into the near whiteout conditions. Had he really driven through that?

“Andy?”

“Sorry, Dad. Just thinking. Yeah, it really is true. I…really like Ryder. I'm sorry, I know you probably don't want to hear that and you probably think it's horrible and all sorts of—”

“Andy, take a breath. It's all right,” said his father, softly. Andrew blinked and pulled back to stare at the phone before listening again. “I'll admit that the news…came as a shock. A big shock, really. But I'm not disgusted.”

“You're not? Really? But…what about Mom?”

“Your mother overreacted. I admit it. It caught her by surprise, too. That's just how she chose to express it.”

“I'm a disappointment, aren't I?” Andrew asked quietly.

“Why would you say that?”

“Because…I don't know,” Andrew said, shrugging though no one could see it.

“Andy, you're not a disappointment, and you never will be. You're a good son, a good kid, and a good student. Your mother loves you, and so do I. But let's have this conversation in person, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Dad.”

“You're welcome.”

“Um…how's Andrea?”

“Andrea is…” His father sighed through the line. “Your sister is another story. I don't know why this has upset her so much. I really can't even begin to guess. We didn't raise either of you with these kinds of prejudices. But you'll have to talk to her about it. That's not something I can speak about for her.”

“Okay. And Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“I really, really need my room finished.”

His father laughed at that and Andrew managed a small smile. “Believe me, I'm working on it. You'll have it soon. In fact…” He paused and Andrew heard some muffled discussion in the background. Andrew waited and looked behind him to see Ryder watching him intently from his seat in the living room. He gave him a small smile to show he was all right.

“Can you put Kyle on the phone, please? I'd like to talk to him for a moment,” he said when he spoke again. Andrew nodded and held out the phone.

“Mr. Kensington, Dad wants to talk to you.”

Ryder's uncle took the phone. “Happy New Year, Jack. How are you? Oh, I'm fine,” he said, and walked into the other room, just out of earshot.

Andrew sat back down and rested his forehead against his hands. “God, I thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest waiting for him to answer, and then when he finally did, ugh.”

“Hey, but everything is okay, right? He's not going to like, kick you out or anything, is he?”

“No. He's going to finish my room. I told him I needed my own and he agreed.”

Ryder nudged him. “See? It's going to be okay.”

Mr. Kensington came back in a few minutes later and hung up the phone. “I just talked to your father and we worked something out. From what I understand, your sister is the one who let your secret slip, right?”

Andrew nodded.

“And you share a room with her?”

He nodded again.

“That's probably not going to be the best idea right now, you two having to go back to sharing a room. Your father and I agreed that you both need some time to cool down. And since we're such good friends and I'm such a great guy,” he said with a wink, “we agreed that it would be the best for everyone if you came to stay here until your father finishes your room.”

Andrew stared up at him in surprise. “Really?”

“Really.”

Ryder grinned widely. “You're the best, Uncle Kyle.”

“I know. Anyway, let's go. We're all going to go over there and you can get some things while Lisa and I talk to your parents.”

Ryder ran upstairs to get his boots. Andrew followed him up and Mr. Kensington went outside to clean off the truck. In his room, Ryder laced up his thick winter boots and grabbed gloves.

“This is going to be great. We can go riding all the time if you're staying here!” he said, excitement clear on his face. It was evident that, at least for the moment, he'd forgotten the reason why Andrew would be staying with them. He nodded and smiled a bit. “What's wrong?” Ryder asked when Andrew didn't respond with the same enthusiasm.

“It'll be great, yeah, but there's still my sister. And when we go back to school, what's she going to say? And not only that, won't you get sick of seeing me all the time like that? I mean…”

Andrew trailed off and Ryder stood up. He tugged his face up to look at him and gave him a gentle smile that melted Andrew's heart. “I'm not going to get sick of you. Trust me. I…really care about you,” he said, pausing only slightly. “And I don't want to see you upset. Besides, we were friends first, right? No matter what happens, we'll always have that.”

No matter what happens?
“Right,” Andrew said and watched as he bounced out of the room. When Ryder called for him to hurry, Andrew followed, wondering what, if anything, he meant by that.