Authors: Jennifer Lavoie
Ryder stopped in front of him and Andrew's focus shifted to him. He hadn't been paying much attention and didn't realize Ryder had gotten so close, and from the look on his friend's face, Ryder knew it. He felt his face heat up but couldn't look away. Ryder's eyes caught his and seemed to burn through him, looking into his mind and seeing what he saw, feeling what he felt. The smile that pulled at his lips hinted at something far from innocent, and Andrew shivered.
“Let's head back,” Ryder whispered and didn't wait for Andrew to answer. Cobalt turned and walked for the barn. Andrew hesitated a moment before he and Magpie followed after him.
Together the two of them got the horses tied, removed the riding gear, and put it away. From the tack room, Ryder pulled out two buckets of grooming supplies and handed Magpie's to Andrew. Ryder showed him what to do with Cobalt first, then the mare. Ryder's hand covered Andrew's over the currycomb, guiding him into firm but gentle strokes to brush the horse. He barely heard Ryder's instructions, though; his mind was lost in thought. When Ryder released his hand, Andrew stopped brushing and stood there, staring at Magpie's flank.
Why had his body reacted like that to Ryder? Or before, in the barn, when Ryder brushed against him. It had felt warm and comfortable, but Andrew knew he shouldn't feel like that. Danielle and Cynthia were warm and comfortable. And soft. Ryder was not soft.
“Andy? You all right, man?”
Distantly he heard his name and turned to face Ryder, then blinked back to the present. “Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Maybe a little tired. But I had fun.”
“Glad you enjoyed it. You should come over Saturday if you're not busy.”
“I don't knowâ¦my dad might need me,” Andrew hedged, unable to shake the feeling that things were suddenly different between the two of them. He couldn't put his finger on it, but it wasâ¦something. Maybe he didn't want to know.
“Well, if he doesn't need you, then. We can spend the day out riding. I can show you how to trot. You seem comfortable enough in the saddle. By the way, how do your legs feel?”
“They're all right. My ass is a little sore.”
Ryder smirked and gave Magpie a sugar cube from his pocket. “Wait until you start to trot. It's really going to be sore then,” he said, leaning against the wall and staring at him with one eyebrow raised.
That same strange feeling spiraled through Andrew. Scowling, he threw the brush at Ryder. “Shut up about my sore ass already.”
*
“Danielle called.”
Andrew looked up at Andrea and then down at his math book again. The numbers swam uselessly on the page, taunting him as he tried to wrangle them into some sort of equation.
“She said to tell you she's sorry, she didn't mean it, and would like to hang out on Saturday. She's free.”
“She told you all that? Seriously?”
“Actually she told Mom all that. Not me.”
“Mom? That's a little much.”
“Yeah, well, Mom wants to know why you didn't tell her you were having girl trouble again. I'm wondering the same thing, actually. Why didn't you tell me? You know I wouldn't have told Mom.”
“Because it's none of her business. And I guess I just didn't think it was that important.”
“Whatever.”
“As if you'd want some guy talking to Mom about you. I didn't like Danielle that much, anyway.”
“That's what you said about Cynthia,” Andrea teased from her desk. Andrew crumpled a piece of paper and chucked it at her head, but it fell short and dropped onto the carpet in the middle of the room. “You're going to say that about every girl that breaks up with you. Face it. You suck at relationships.”
“Like you're any better, Andrea,” he said in response. She stuck out her tongue over her shoulder.
“So, are you going to call her back?”
“No, I've got plans on Saturday.”
“What plans? You didn't tell me about this.”
“It just came up. Ryder's teaching me how to ride a horse. That's where I went after school today.”
“Bet you're going to fall off,” Andrea said, sipping from a mug of hot chocolate.
“Shut the hell up. I didn't fall, actually.” At least, not off a horse. “You're the impulsive one who'd fall off.”
Andrea flipped him off as she went back to her homework. A few minutes later, she asked, “Did you hear anything today from Coach about the scouts? Have they set up an appointment yet?”
“No,” Andrew replied, giving up on his math as he set the book aside.
“I wish they'd hurry up.”
“Nothing may come from it, Andy. Don't get your hopes up.”
“You're so damn negative! If you think positive, good things happen. If you don't quit being such a pessimist, you'll ruin our chances.”
I don't know if I want the same chances anymore
, he thought, but didn't dare voice it. Andrea would kill him if she knew he was, again, thinking about giving up soccer and focusing solely on his education. It had been herâno, theirâgoal since they made it onto the varsity team their sophomore year. But it wasn't as if he wanted to play soccer professionally. It was just something fun to do after school. He could get other scholarships, academic scholarships. His grades were good enough. Soccer wasn't his whole life. It didn't have to be, did it? Everything in his world seemed to be shifting.
On Saturday morning Andrew drove out to the Kensingtons' place after breakfast. The air had a biting chill more intense than the day before and the sky had grown overcast. A light snow began to fall and the small flakes drifted lazily to the ground. Andrew could smell the snow in the air and when he breathed out, he could see his breath before him.
When he reached the house, he pulled into the driveway and parked beside another truck with a large horse trailer attached. Ahead of him, the lights were on in the barn and Mr. Kensington was talking to a man standing next to him. He waved when he saw Andrew.
“Ryder's up in his room. He's waiting for you.”
“Thanks, Mr. Kensington.”
A fire blazed in the living room, making the house warm and inviting. Andrew waved to Ryder's aunt and headed up the narrow stairs to the bedroom right at the top. The door stood ajar and Ryder lay back on his bed, his iPod lying on his chest and the earbuds nestled in his ears. He didn't seem to notice Andrew as he approached, and Andrew felt the sudden urge to shove his cold hands against him. So he did.
Ryder yelled loudly, sitting up with a start. “Damnit, Andy! You scared me! That's cold!”
“Gotcha.” Andrew grinned wickedly. He fell back when a pillow hit his face.
“Yeah, whatever. You ready?”
“Yup, ready. We're taking Magpie again?”
“Of course,” Ryder said, getting up and pulling his boots on. He reached under his bed and pulled out a box. “Here.”
Andrew took it, confused. “What's this?”
“For you. Just open it. Consider it your early Christmas present.”
“Ryder.”
“Just open it. Besides, you need it.”
Andrew glared at him and opened the box. Inside, wrapped in white tissue, he found a pair of brown boots, size ten. He pulled them out and held them up, inspecting them while he ran his fingers over the soft leather.
These must have cost a fortune. Why did he get these for me?
He was stunned. “Thanks.” He realized his voice had come out slightly breathless, as if he had trouble getting air.
Ryder beamed and shrugged a shoulder, reaching up to pull his hair back into a short ponytail. “I'd like a new iPod Nano for Christmas. The red one,” he teased. Andrew considered throwing the boots at him, but didn't. Instead, he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled them on. They were a comfortable fit and not too stiff.
“These are great, Ryder. Thanks.”
“Just make sure you come over and ride with me. I don't want them to go to waste.”
“I will. I promise.” And after Andrew said it, he realized he meant it. In the short time they had been friends, he had come to value Ryder's friendship immensely. Ryder didn't get caught up in the drama like Charlie, Andrea, and Sarah did. He was confident in his own skin.
The two of them made their way out to the barn and both were excited to see a light flurry had begun. The truck with the trailer no longer stood in the driveway.
“There was someone out here with your uncle before. Who was that?”
“Oh, the vet. He came out to take a look at one of the boarded horses. Uncle Kyle must have gone with him to his office. Come on.”
Inside the barn, the heaters worked hard to keep it warm and comfortable. Andrew found it easy to forget the cold outside as he and Ryder prepared the horses for a ride.
Andrew remembered a lot from earlier in the week and did most of it on his own. Ryder checked to make sure Andrew had secured the saddle.
“I'm impressed,” Ryder commented, nodding as he walked around Magpie. “Most don't remember everything after just one go.”
Pleased with himself, Andrew led Magpie to the barn door and pushed it open only to stop in his tracks. Next to him the mare snorted softly and pulled back, stamping her foot against the barn floor.
“What's wrong? Move,” Ryder said, coming up behind him. Cobalt nosed his shoulder and pushed him forward.
“We're heading out in that?” Andrew pointed at the thick wall of flakes that fell from the sky, completely whiting out the landscape. The fence to one of the fields could not be seen though it stood only a few yards away from the barn. The trees did not seem to exist anymore. Nothing existed farther than two feet beyond the barn. No sound, no object. Nothing.
“What the hell,” Ryder groaned. “It wasn't snowing like this ten minutes ago. That's too much to ride in.”
“Maybe it'll pass? We can wait in here, right?”
Ryder seemed to consider, and finally nodded. “Yeah, we can wait it out. Those are big flakes. That means it won't last too long, right? That's what my aunt said.”
Andrew nodded. “Sometimes.”
The two of them put the horses back in their stalls to wait it out. Andrew pushed himself up on the half door of Magpie's stall and leaned against the wall, his legs resting along the top of the low door. Ryder leaned against it, resting his chin on his arms. Magpie slowly chewed on some of her hay, regarding them with her big brown eyes.
“Danielle called me the other day. While I was here,” Andrew finally said, holding up a piece of hay and twirling it between his fingers.
“Oh? What did she want? I thought she broke up with you.”
“She did. She apologized and wanted to hang out today.”
“But you're here.”
“Yeah. I'm here.”
Ryder looked up at him. Andrew shredded a piece of hay and picked another off his jeans and began to worry at that one as well. “Didn't want to hang out with her?”
“No. I sort of made plans with you, didn't I?”
“As I recall, you said you'd think about it. That your dad might need you.”
Andrew lifted a hand and gestured vaguely. “Well, he didn't, so I'm here. Besides. I didn't really like her. She was on the way to being as needy as Cynthia, I could tell. Better to end it now and not have to deal with the drama later.”
“So who do you have in mind now?”
Silence filled the air as Andrew pondered that question. After what seemed like an eternity waiting, he felt Ryder shift his gaze up to him.
Who do I have in mind? Who
do
I have in mind? Is there anyone left?
That question made him cringe.
“No one,” he said finally, feeling confused at his own words. “I hadn't even given it thought.”
“Maybe you need to take some time off from the serial dating. Just hang with the guys, yeah?”
“Maybe.” Andrew thought about it, and the idea of not having to meet anyone's expectations but his own appealed to him.
The silence resumed for another few minutes, and it was neither comfortable nor strained, but an odd mix of the two. Andrew felt like Ryder had something to say to him. He wanted to ask him, but he didn't know how to. Magpie wandered over after eating and nudged his thigh with her velvety nose. He lifted a hand to stroke it gently, enjoying the smooth texture and contemplating his next words.
“Soâ¦speaking of girls, you said you were already interested in someone when I told you Sarah wanted you. Who is it?”
“Andy⦔ Ryder hesitated. Magpie turned her head to sniff Andrew's pockets, looking for a treat. “It's complicated.”
“Why? Is she already dating someone?”
“Well, no.”
“Then how could it be complicated?” Andrew asked. He pushed Magpie's nose away from its quest.
“You're my friend, right?”
The sudden, random question startled Andrew and he nearly fell off the wall into Magpie's stall. The horse shied away from them warily and moved her attentions elsewhere. Andrew looked at Ryder to see if he was serious, and found him staring back, his face carefully blank.
What the hell kind of question is that?
“Of course I'm your friend. Hell, I've been hanging out with you more than I have with Charlie.”
“Even if I were to tell you a secret thatâ¦most people around here probably wouldn't agree with? You'd still want to hang out?”
“You're a cool guy, Ryder. We're cool.”
“Even if your other friends thoughtâ” Ryder pressed his lips together.
Andrew wondered what the big secret was. And what wouldn't his friends like? “Well, as long as you haven't, like, murdered someone or gotten my sister pregnant, I don't think there's much you could say that would make me stop wanting to hang out with you.” He paused and then looked at him closely with squinted eyes, a little nervous. “You haven't killed someone, right?”
Ryder laughed softly and shook his head. “No, it's nothing like that.” When he looked up at him, a serious expression settled across his face. “Remember when you said Sarah liked me, and I said she wasn't my type?”