Authors: May McGoldrick
Tags: #Romance, #Historical, #highlander, #jan coffey, #may mcgoldrick, #henry viii, #trilogy, #braveheart, #tudors
“I never have been, either.”
“Lady Elizabeth could teach you, m’lady. She has the patience of Job.”
“Job knew needlework?”
The young maid began to giggle. “I don’t think so, m’lady. In the guild play last spring, Job was left in rags on the dunghill.”
This time Fiona was the one to laugh, but the forceful knock on the door cut the moment short. Claire ran quickly, opening the door. From where Fiona stood, she could not see who was at the door. But Claire’s quick curtsy before disappearing told Fiona that the maid had been dismissed.
“May I come in?” At the sound of Alec’s voice, Fiona bounded for the door.
Before he could react, Fiona had him by the hand and was closing the door behind him.
“M’lady, consider my reputa—”
Rising to her toes, Fiona took hold of his neck and stopped Alec’s words with a searing kiss, before pulling back quickly and sliding out of his grasp. Suddenly conscious of her forwardness, she backed to the table, putting a distance between them.
“Does this mean you’ve missed me as much as I’ve missed you?” Alec asked wryly.
She gave him a half smile, feeling the heat rising in her face. All she could do was nod slowly. Looking at Alec, quite dapper in his impeccably fitted clothes and standing so comfortably in the middle of that room, was enough to quicken the breath in her chest. She let her eyes travel the length of him, to quench their thirst. A moment earlier she’d been so excited to see him that she’d cast propriety to the wind. Now Fiona felt embarrassed at her own audacity.
“I had to give my word of honor to my parents that I would...” Alec’s words died in his throat as Fiona unconsciously pushed her fiery mane back over her shoulder. His eyes took in the swells of flesh that beckoned from the framing neckline of burgundy velvet.
“I... I told them I’d behave myself and escort you downstairs.”
“They made you give your word about such a simple task?”
“Somehow I think they knew it wouldn’t be so simple.”
“But why?” she teased, coyly leaning against the table.
In the golden light that was streaming in her window, Fiona was more than alluring—she was bewitching. Alec walked across the room to her and lifted her in his arms. His mouth settled on hers, crushing her lips in a kiss that all but answered her question.
“I’ve told them about us,” he whispered in her ear, his mouth grazing the skin of her earlobe, her neck. As he kissed the hollow of her neck lazily, he could feel her pulse fluttering wildly beneath his lips, and the quiet moan that issued from deep within her stirred in him an already gathering storm of desire. He held her closer, even tighter.
“You mean about the tower,” she murmured. Her hands moved up his chest. She could feel his heart beating hard and fast.
“Aye, I told them everything.” His hand moved to the front of her dress and gently caressed her breast as he leaned down and placed a kiss on the exposed swell of milky white flesh.
“Everything?” she asked, watching as he slowly tugged down the neckline of her dress. Slowly, ever so slowly, exposing more of her skin.
“I explained in detail about the time you tried to seduce me in my own study at Dunvegan Castle.” He leaned down and tasted her freshly bared skin. His hand moved across the smooth material of the garment, pulling it even lower, until finally one breast was completely revealed. She took a sharp breath and ran her fingers into his hair as he cupped her. She gasped as his mouth took possession of the nipple.
“You’re a wild thing, Alec Macpherson,” she said hoarsely, the sweet torment taking over her senses. Her fingers traced the lines of his shoulders and moved again through his hair. “You’re driving me wild...Alec. But it’s best to stop. Before I disgrace myself before your family.”
“’Tis true, my love.” He pulled back smiling, his eyes delving into the incredible depths of her eyes. “I told them what happened in the tower, about how you were finally successful in taking advantage of my unblemished innocence.” Alec’s thumb gently continued its circling motion around the aroused nipple.
Fiona fought to catch her breath, and then, realizing what he’d just said, gently pushed his blond head away from her and punched him in the chest.
He glared playfully at her and gathered her in so tightly that she couldn’t move.
“Unblemished innocence!” she growled, pushing at his chest. She tried to pull her dress back up over her breast, but he pulled it down again. This time she playfully slapped his hands away as she accomplished the task. “Beast! I’m certain, in this castle alone, I could find a few that might speak differently of your wayward character.”
Alec eased himself into the chair at the side of the table and pulled her onto his lap. “Is it that important?”
“Is what important?” Fiona asked, trying to work herself off his lap. She knew what they were talking about, and she was sure he must have been with many women before her. But she didn’t really want to talk about it.
He held on tight. “My innocence.”
“You were not a virgin?” She asked with mock dismay.
“Nay,” he answered matter-of-factly.
“I’m shocked, Alec.” She leaned over, giving him a quick kiss on his lips and jumping off his lap. “But please, love, let’s not talk about it. What’s past is past. I don’t want to know which of the women I might run into have shared your bed.”
Alec looked at her back. She was avoiding his eyes. It seemed to take forever before she, at last, turned and looked steadily at him.
“We don’t need any unnecessary bloodshed, do we?” she asked, picking up the dagger he’d given her and tucking it into the gold-linked chain that encircled her waist. “You never know how one might act when faced with unwanted adversaries.”
Alec looked at her. In spite of her playful words, he could see the welling of tears in her eyes before she turned away from him again. She was not ready to listen to the things he was no longer willing to tell. About himself. About his past. About Kathryn.
There would be time enough after they were married.
He moved across the room and stood behind her, enfolding her in his arms.
“Fiona,” he began softly. “My love, later on, when you are ready, perhaps after some sunny afternoon of making love, while you sit breast-feeding our sixth or seventh bairn, there are things about me that I would like to tell you.”
Fiona laughed and twisted in his arms to look up into his face.
“They must be incredibly terrible things, Alec,” she teased.
“Aye. Perhaps after the eighth bairn.”
“Do they concern other women? From your dark and distant past?”
“Aye,” he said, his hands gently caressing her arms. “Very dark and very distant.”
“Then I don’t want to know.” She rested her head against his chest. “What happened to your ‘unblemished innocence’?”
Alec buried his face in Fiona’s jasmine-scented tresses and lightly kissed the top of her head. “When I met you, my sweet, life began anew.”
“So we both have demons in our past.”
“Aye, but that past is gone. The present concerns us now. The present and the future. Fiona, I want you to know that everything that I have ever held dear, every path that I have ever walked, every mistake I’ve made, every breath I have ever taken has only prepared me for the life I ask you to share in. You, my angel love, are the God-given and undeserved answer to another lifetime that I’ve lived—a lifetime that at times seems only a dream now. A lifetime that has all too often been no more than a horrible nightmare. But you, my sweet, have brought me back to the world of waking daylight, of sunshine and kindness and goodness and integrity. You have taught me what it is to love and to be loved, Fiona. To care and to be cared for. And now I pledge my life—this new, good, dedicated life—to you, Fiona. I love you. ”
“Oh, Alec,” she breathed, her throat knotted as she raised her lips to his. As their lips met, tears spilled over and rolled down her cheeks. “Oh, I love you so much. Your words...are so beautiful, so...” She stopped, her tears taking over. There was nothing she could say that could describe the way she felt. But Alec knew. She looked into his deep blue eyes and she could see that Alec just knew.
Softly, tenderly, he kissed the glistening beads away. He could feel on his lips the salty wetness of her emotion. He filled his great chest with air and continued.
“Fiona, marry me,” Alec said, gathering her face in his hands. His eyes bored into the depth of hers. “Let’s not wait. I don’t want to wait. We could be married here at Benmore.”
His words tugged at her with their promise. Here was happiness. A future of happiness that would eradicate the nightmares of her past. But she needed to think. She needed to do the right thing. Her duty, her promise to herself to find her mother’s killers could not be denied. Fiona stared blankly at Alec’s shoulders, trying to avoid his eyes. How could she explain? How could she give up all that he was offering?
“Look at me, Fiona.”
Fiona looked up into his eyes and searched for her answer.
“I love you, Alec,” she whispered. “But I need to clear my mother’s name. My conscience will never let me rest until I have done all I can.”
“Marry me, Fiona. Marry me now,” he coaxed. “I will go into the fires of hell itself for you. I’ll stand by you; and what we need to do, we’ll do together.”
She reached up and cradled his face in her hand. “Alec, I can’t do that to you. That’s my battle, not yours. I can’t damage your reputation. What I’m after, what I might discover, the truth behind my mother’s death, will very likely involve others in your class. Perhaps even people you know well. I’ve thought about the things you told me, about what might have been the reasons behind my mother’s murder. I can see it already. I will become a social outcast in seeking the truth and in asking for justice. But you are Scotland’s hope, so important to our future. You cannot have a wife such as I. I’ll only disgrace you.”
Alec started to speak, but Fiona hushed him with her slender fingers, with her words.
“Alec, what you offer—just staying here and marrying you, trying to forget all the demons of the past—this is not an option. Not when it concerns my mother. My conscience will not allow that. So I suppose marriage...perhaps is not something meant to happen for us. Not yet, anyway.”
Alec gathered her fingers in his hand and kissed them gently before starting to speak. “Fiona, staying apart is not an option. And that’s not my conscience speaking. My heart, my mind, my entire being cries out for you. And trust me, there is even more. Before we left Skye, I had to give my word to that little warrior of yours that I’d bring you back.”
“Malcolm?”
“Aye, Malcolm. You wouldn’t want to have his fearsome wrath come down on my head, would you?”
Fiona smiled, thinking of her little friend. Of his smiling, gentle ways.
“Just accept it, my love. The only question that is left unanswered is not if we were going to be married, the question is when. And now, after hearing your hesitation, your concerns, I am telling you that decision has been made.”
“It has? And what might that decision be?”
“We will be marrying before this week ends.”
“Have you lost your mind?” she asked, dumbfounded. “Didn’t you hear a word I said?”
“Every one of them!” Alec let go of her hand and went to the chest by her bed, opening the top and pawing through her things.
“And that’s all you have to say? You don’t care in the least how I feel about this?” Fiona fumbled for some response. “And what happened to a betrothal and long engagements and hand festing? If I’m not mistaken, those are still traditions in the Highlands.”
He came back to her with a shawl of silk, woven in the Macpherson plaid. She just stood and watched in awe as he wrapped the piece around her neck and arranged it so as to hide a portion of her exposed bosom.
“Nay, lass. Highland engagements traditionally last as long as it takes to get from the horse to the house,” he said, eyeing his handiwork appreciatively. “And sometimes not even that long.”
“Alec!” She drawled. “You know that’s not true.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.”
“But I might remind you,” Alec said, taking her chin gently in his hand, “you spent our engagement walking to the tower.”
“We weren’t engaged then!” Fiona pushed his hand away with a playful glare.
“We certainly were. And I’m planning to tell everyone at dinner tonight that we were.”
“I won’t admit to such a thing,” she threatened mildly. “You can’t lie like that.”
“Hmmm,” he responded. “You know, there is just no limit to how far I’ll go when I make up my mind I want something.”
Alec lifted her unresisting body into his arms and crushed her lips with his own. Deeply, passionately, thoroughly, he kissed his beloved with a fervor that left her breathless. Standing her on her feet again, with a smile he began straightening her clothes once more.
“Dinner is ready, my betrothed. The festivities have already begun. They are all expecting us.”
“You are thick-headed, stubborn, and deaf, Alec Macpherson,” she breathed as he linked her arm in his. “I’ll not marry you. You can’t force me.”
“Aye, I can.” He placed his hand over hers, pressing it into his muscular forearm as they started for the door. “It nearly slipped my mind.”
“What has?” she asked cautiously.
“You’ve forgotten our journey.”
“What about our journey?” she asked, her eyes widening in bewilderment.
“Well, so far I’ve been able to keep Robert from telling everyone...how worried he was the night—”
“I’ll marry you.” She sighed, her face breaking into an ironic smile. “And now I know I’ll be marrying the most unscrupulous rogue in all the Highlands.”
Be charitable and humble of estate,
Yea, worldly honor outlasts not the cry.
For your earthly troubles don’t be melancholy:
Be rich in patience, if in goods you’re but poor;
Who lives merrily, he lives lavishly: for
Without gladness, no treasure avails.
—William Dunbar “
Without Gladness
”