Annie's Truth (Touch of Grace) (12 page)

N
OTICING THROUGH THE
haze of sleep that she still had on her shoes, Annie bolted upright. She put both feet on the floor and rubbed her face to wake up. Waking in a strange room confused her, made her feel out of place and alone. She looked to the tan blinds over the window and saw streams of light peeking through. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d woken up after daybreak. And then the memory came back to her…

“Just take one more bite.” Mamm held a spoon of chicken soup to Annie’s lips and parted her own as if she were taking the spoonful. Annie’s body trembled with fever as she used every ounce of energ y she had to chew and swallow the small bit of nourishment.

Annie turned her head away, letting Mamm know she was done. “One more?” Mamm pleaded.

“Nee.” Annie closed her eyes in hope of sleep, only to hear the
sket sket
of Thomas’s slippers on the wooden floor of her bedroom. Annie opened her eyes into slits.

He held his stuffed bunny that Mamm made him—his one prized possession—against his chest and stared at her in silence. Annie closed her eyes again but could hear his breathing next to her. Then she felt the soft bulge of the bunny against her cheek and heard the
sket sket
again until the door closed.

Looking around the room, she saw her handbag and the shirt Rudy had worn yesterday on a chair. Annie felt uneasy with the thought he’d come in when she was sleeping but very grateful that she’d slept in his bed instead of in Essie’s room.

His bed
.

Annie thought of how her daed would react to such behavior. She shook away the thought. She would have to endure the unfamiliar if she was to accomplish what she came here to do.

She squared her shoulders, preparing to face the Glicks, and then found the bathroom and washed up before going downstairs. Essie took one last bite of cereal and grabbed her backpack. “My room wasn’t good enough for ya, huh?”

“I didn’t think you wanted me in your room,” Annie replied, to her own surprise.

“Whatever.” Essie hiked the bag over her shoulder and walked through the door to the garage door.

“Don’t mind her. Are you hungry?” Elizabeth set a plate of eggs, sausage, and toast on the table with a glass of juice. Annie eyed the clear glass of orange juice and drank it down quickly.

Elizabeth handed Annie a piece of paper and sat down next to her. She drank her coffee as Annie read the information about the Harrisonburg Department of Health registry and an adoption search agency by the name of Dream Maker.

“Here are the directions to the county building. You should start there first to see if you get anywhere. If not, there are always the adoption search specialists.”

Annie nodded and pushed away the plate of delicious food. Her insides gelled at the thought of what she was actually going to do. She wanted this, but now she was thinking of what could come of it. What if she found only dead ends? She couldn’t predict the reaction her birth mother would have toward her. And how long could she live in this tension-filled house?

“Danke for your help and for letting me stay with you. I know it’s an inconvenience to have a stranger in your home.”

Elizabeth touched Annie’s hand. “It’s not you, Annie. Our family’s had some things happen, but don’t think any of it is because of you.” Her smile was worn and sad. She took a deep breath and carried on in the kitchen as if she hadn’t said the last of her words.

“Rudy will be home from his first class soon. He’ll take you.” She stood. “And I’m off to work.”

Annie moved back in her chair. “You work?”

“It’s not much—a secretarial position at the church—but we need the paycheck.” She grabbed her jacket and purse. “College is expensive. But I wouldn’t have it any other way for Rudy. He’ll make something of himself.”

“I don’t doubt that, Mrs. Glick.” Annie turned her attention back to the papers after Elizabeth left her alone with her thoughts. There were numbers to both places, and she was tempted to call but didn’t feel comfortable using the phone. She tapped her fingers on the table and debated. Just then Rudy walked in.

He sat down next to her and noticed the papers. “So, I’m supposed to take you somewhere?”

“Actually, I’d like you to make a phone call for me.”

Rudy shrugged. “Sure. You’re okay, then, with my knowing about this?”

“When your mother told me you were taking me around today, I figured you’d find out.” She really didn’t trust him, or anyone here for that matter. Although Levi and Elizabeth were kind, they were both busy with their own lives. And there was absolutely no trust with Essie or even Rudy.

“So you’re looking for your biological mother.” He wasn’t asking; he knew. So what was he waiting for her to say?

Annie nodded and flipped through the papers in her handbag with her fingers.

“What happened?”

As she pulled the papers out of her bag, she searched his eyes, not knowing if she should entrust her information to him, but then she realized she really didn’t have a choice.

“She abandoned me right after I was born. My daed found me in one of his fields.” She looked away at first and then decided to stare directly at him. To her surprise, his eyes were fixed on her. A strange sort of connection passed between them.

“So you don’t fit in, either?” He slowly shook his head.

Annie balked at the arrogant assumption. Few words angered her, but his did. She took a moment to figure out why. She had learned in the short time she’d been with the Glicks that a deep bitterness poisoned the entire family, although she had determined it wasn’t so much her being there as what they had gone through with her community years ago. Why would she expect anything different from Rudy than this sort of comment?

“Why do you want to know who your real mom is? Do you think that will make them accept you?” He laughed cynically. “They’ll never look at you the same again.”

A pang went through her chest and into her heart. Her shoulders tightened as she realized what he said was true. She reached up and rubbed around them at the base of her neck.

She’d not only been one of them, but she was also looked up to and appreciated for not engaging in the rebellious acts of
rumspringa
. Annie was the one the mamms called on to watch their children, and Alma used to ask her to assist her with deliveries. Others would ask her to recite a Bible verse they’d forgotten or help them understand a certain passage. She was more than accepted. She had found her identity solely in being Amish and following their ways.

“Are you okay?” Rudy reached for her, but she moved away. She was embarrassed that her pretenses were down. She was vulnerable and lost.

He threw up his hands. “Whatever.” He turned away.

“Maybe it was too much to ask to come here.” Annie’s words tumbled out before she could catch them.

He jerked around to face her. “Ya think? A member of the group who threw us out?” He ran his hand over his face as if he was trying to stop but couldn’t. “My parents can deal with it, but me…I got a problem with it, myself. And Essie…well, I don’t need to explain anything there.”

Annie had never felt her body temperature rise from anger, but at this moment she felt as if she were a kettle about to blow. “Then I should go.” She stuffed her papers back in her handbag with a level of unrighteous anger she’d never before experienced. Rudy struggled with his emotions. He walked to the end of the room, turned, and walked back again.

“You can’t go.”

“How can I stay?”

He put his chin down on his chest, looking to the floor with his hands on his hips. “How bad do you want to find out about this?”

Annie pursed her lips in unbelievable frustration. “I’ve come this far.”

“Then stay.” He clapped his hands together as if to say it was decided.

“But I won’t if you can’t forgive and move on. I won’t be a constant reminder of your past with my people.”

Rudy’s eyes glazed. He looked blankly past her and into the other room, as if he could see the ghosts haunting him. “Don’t talk to me about forgiveness, and I won’t blame you for what
your
people did to us.”

An awkward silence permeated the room. Annie’s instinct was to run far away from this family that couldn’t deal with her presence because of the pain they had experienced.

Then Rudy did something totally unexpected. He bowed his head…and prayed.

 
Chapter Twelve
 

H
AAA
.” D
AVID PULLED
once on the lead rope to calm the mare. Her blond coat was wet with perspiration that left trails of water down her sides. The weather was not warm enough to cause the horse to sweat, but it was obvious by the way she was dancing around that she didn’t like to be shod.

“You need to get yourself a new place to tie off your horses.” John smiled as he took the lead so David could tend to the preparations necessary to fit her for a new set of horseshoes.

“Lucy here ended up making it through the first time in fine shape after a toe-to-toe. I wish she’d remember that and stop causing me so much trouble,” David explained as he tethered the horse.

“She’s a giveaway from some Englishers that came through here a few months ago. Said she was too much work for ’em.” David glanced at John.

“Is that so?” John at least understood David’s excuse to have him there. There was no hostility between them; they’d just never spent much time together. But by the way David was staring at him, John figured there was something more. Since Annie had left, people had been acting strange. There was more drama and gossip, and John wasn’t partial to either and made a point to stop talk before it started. He had a bad feeling this was going to one of those times.

David stroked the horse’s side in a slow, smooth motion. He’d made a name for himself tackling the tough cases when a horse wouldn’t cooperate. His daed was the general “blacksmith” in the community. Although others could shoe a horse, the tough cases always ended up with David.

“Jah, said she was”—he looked up in thought—“unbreakable, that’s the word they used.”