Anno Zombus Year 1 (Book 8): August (2 page)

August 3
rd
Year 1 A.Z.

morning

With Apocalypse Girl at my side I was able to work out a decent plan to clear out the Dead from one of the larger shopping malls in the city itself.  The Queen's face brightened when I divulged our ideas over breakfast, as it meant opportunities for more supplies but more importantly it opened up the possibility of
entertainment!
  That was the one thing lacking in Adelaide, other than a couple of pubs here and there serving whatever noxious liquids they found remaining in their cellars there was absolutely no entertainment to speak of.  Not for the regular people, at least.  The Queen, naturally, had her own Jester, a little fellow that had probably managed to survive the Dead by simply being beneath their notice.  That was Her Majesty's reasoning, at least.

Jester performed for us over breakfast, debasing himself by leaping about while telling jokes about the Dead and humorous anecdotes of the early days of The Queen's reign.  She was cackling wildly at his antics and, when he fell over and bloodied his nose, almost wet herself.  Rather than allow him to tend to his injured proboscis she insisted that he continue his tale, blood pissing from his broken honker.  When he finally finished the blood had stopped flowing, but that was hardly surprising as it seemed more covered the unfortunate dwarf than was left inside him.  The Queen thanked him for his performance and dismissed him, completely ignoring the white-hot agony and pain directed her way in his glare as he left.

The Queen was suggesting, once we finally liberated our target, that we set up a massive screen for the people in the square in the centre of town and screen movies every night.  That should keep the people happy, she thought.  Butler agreed with her, nodding at every word she said.  Occasionally he would glance in my direction.  It took me a little while to notice but he did that with Her Majesty's less intelligent ideas.  A little while after that and I realised that he was in fact rolling his eyes ever so slightly with each glance.

noon

I had been allowed the use of the Security office of the Palace, though the monitors were useless now it had quite a nice desk and The Queen figured that I would need a good one.  Her Sheriff had used this office, she told me, once they had cleared out the former Casino.  As she left me, she reiterated that, should I need anything at all I only had to call out.  Butler would provide my every whim, apparently.  Also, if I needed a laugh I had her permission to call upon Jester.  I told her that I would be fine as long as I had Apocalypse Girl with me.  The Queen smiled at that, beaming first at Apocalypse Girl, then myself before flouncing out the door.  It was a smile that never reached her eyes.

Scout came into my office shortly after lunchtime, telling me that not everyone was happy with the Queen's rule.  Nobody was actually willing to stand up and say anything directly, after all she had saved them all from the Dead, many times over, and reintroduced rule of law, at least of sorts.  Adelaide had gone from a city where the Dead tore the Living apart at every opportunity to a community of Living surrounded by the threat of the Dead tearing them apart.  She also told me that she had heard about the upcoming foray into the shopping mall and signed up for it.  One last adventure before she heads back up north to Ginger and Coober's Nest.

evening

At dinner the Queen asked about my bite marks.  She'd never seen any that had been Healed before and told me that she needed to inspect them.  As she traced her fingers gently along the scar where Disciple had torn out a chunk of my flesh she asked how I had managed to avoid infection.  Apprentice answered for me, telling her about Healer and the House-where-no-house-should-be.  The Queen practically squealed in excitement and decreed on the spot that she was going to send a hundred volunteers to learn from him.  I figured that if a hundred people simply walked out of Adelaide towards Queensland, then maybe some of them might make it.  A couple.  Dead and Dingoes and Drop-Bears, oh my!  I suggested, however, that she find a couple of buses to arm and armour for the journey.  Not everyone or everything is friendly out there, after all.

“We were taken captive by a group a few months back,” Apocalypse Girl began.  “At a lab, run by some fucked up military wanker, we were given an experimental vaccine, so even without Healing he would probably have survived it anyway.”

The Queen's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly.  “What about your child?  Do you know if the immunity can be passed on genetically?”  Apocalypse Girl shrugged.  We had been given no information about the vaccine, after all, just forcibly injected with it.  “I would hope that it is the case.  For future generations of humanity, that is.  It gives us some hope that we will make it through this.”  For the rest of the meal she seemed to study me.  I couldn't shake the feeling of being a piece of meat on display at a butcher.

August 4
th
Year 1 A.Z.

morning

Jester swung by my office this morning, just for a chat, he told me.  Just getting to know the new guy in charge of security.  He didn't quite use the term 'The Queen's new Sheriff' but I had already heard it bandied about.  Honestly I was not entirely sure what to think of it, on the one hand I had grown up watching westerns and always imagining myself as the local Marshall... on the other, the last guy with that job description was torn apart by the Dead.

In any event, back to Jester's visit.  Over a couple of cups of coffee I learned that the little fellow was, or rather had been, an IT consultant.  In a world with incredibly limited computing capability, however, an IT guy was almost useless, so The Queen decided that he should make use of his 'other attributes' which, he told me, meant the fact that he looked funny because he was so damn short.  It helped that he was smart and able to tell stories in an amusing fashion.  Where The Queen had found so many tiny ridiculous outfits Jester had no fucking clue, but he figured he was better off alive and wearing them, telling silly jokes and stories rather than out in the world beyond the walls.

I told him about the plan to get into and clear out the largest shopping centre in the city, several stories swarming with shambling Dead.  He shuddered at the idea, saying that if it were up to him, he would have just had the entire city torched.  This plan of scouting, scouring and scavenging that The Sheriff had devised had been effective enough in smaller areas, warehouses and the like, but somewhere like that?  Even Jester thought it was a joke.

Reassuring him that our little group had dealt with worse, I asked if he knew of anybody that might want to join the expedition.  After what felt like days of dwarfish derision, he finally stopped laughing.  “You're serious, aren't you?”  He looked thoughtful for a moment.  “I know I'm going to regret this, but sign me up.  I'm quicker than I look, you know.”  I raised an eyebrow.  “Yeah, I know that look.  Try to see things from my point of view; I have to seem useful, or else I'm doomed to wear these ridiculous clothes and cavort for Her Majesty for the rest of my days.”  He glanced around to see if anyone was near enough to hear, plucking at the outfit chosen for him today, a child-sized chicken suit.  Butler wandered past, escorting somebody too The Queen, some petitioner or another.  “I'd rather be torn apart by the Dead than have to deal with much more of this, to tell the truth.  Besides, depending on what we find in there, I might be able to set up something
really
cool!”

“In that case, welcome aboard.”  I told him, shaking his tiny hand.  His grip was quite a bit firmer than I had expected.  “The more, the merrier, really.”  Apocalypse Girl smiled from her corner, where she was catching up on some reading on the most comfortable couch in the city.

noon

The Scavenger Squad finally arrived, coming to see me shortly after lunchtime.  Six men and women, freshly showered and scrubbed, after delivering a truckload of canned food, bottled water and toilet paper.  After some brief introductions, I told them my idea.  Five of them thought it completely insane.  One, a guy the others referred to by the name Deathwish, chuckled the whole way through their objections, telling them that he wanted out of their merry little band, and signed up for the expedition on the spot.

“Never thought I'd end up a Cleanser,”  Deathwish said.  “But, you gotta do what you gotta do.  Scavving is fucking boring anyway.”  He flashed a toothy grin.  “We heading in tomorrow, yeah?”  I nodded, telling him that this shopping excursion would likely take longer than any other he had ever been on.  “Yeah, I always fucking hated shopping centres.  Kinda wandered around wanting to smash everybody's skulls in.  Hehe, now it looks like I'll get to do exactly that!”

Apocalypse Girl studied him from her couch in the corner, over her book.  Deathwish troubled her slightly, but she could see he would be of use.  The rest of the Scavenger Squad told us that they had a reasonable backlog of places to clear out, as they could only fit so much into the truck at a time, but that they should be ready to start on our target within a week at the latest.  Telling them that we should be done long before then, I walked them outside the Casino-turned-Palace on my way to visit Apprentice with Apocalypse Girl.

My old friend was talking with a couple of farmers, telling them a couple of things about her experiences training in the House-where-no-house-should-be under Healer.  One was staring at her, eyes wide at her description of the first time she had healed a bite victim.  The other was calling her a liar, saying that bites could not be healed.  Calmly, she kept restating her position and, when Apocalypse Girl and I drew near enough for her to notice, she pointed me out, saying that I had been the latest recipient of her aid.

I was poked, prodded and examined, the pair paying particular attention to the chunk that Dead Disciple had taken from my shoulder.  “Yup, looks like a bite to me,” said the initial believer.  The other agreed, though swore it was that of a dog, perhaps.  Apocalypse Dog whined beside me, sitting calmly as we talked.  I assured him that I had been chewed on by a Dead man, Apocalypse Girl backing me up.  Doubter looked doubtful, Believer less so.  I had no time for their argument and told them so, taking Apprentice aside.

She had discovered two things; the first, that there were far more farmers working than was necessary, and the second, that many of them were sick to buggery of farming and were almost ecstatic at the idea of a road-trip through the wastes up to the House-where-no-house-should-be.  There was even a bus depot just outside the farmland area with a few buses that had not been used for the Wall yet, Butler having issued orders for two to be armoured and outfitted with some weaponry.  They would be ready to leave in a couple of days.  Apprentice had given detailed instructions, drawn a rough map and described the location of the House-where-no-house-should-be to enough people that they should find it without much difficulty.  When I asked her whether she would like to take the group back there herself, she smiled sadly and said simply “I would like that very much... But, I can never go back there.  We are trained and then told to leave, seek our place in the world and heal what we can.  Anybody that comes back has failed in their task, according to Healer.”

evening

“WHAT?!?!?!?”  The Queen bellowed when I told her that Jester had volunteered for the expedition over dinner.  She calmed down almost instantly, at least visibly.  Under the skin she seethed and simmered.  “He should not be put in any danger.  No, I forbid it.  He cannot go with you!”

I explained to her that I would look after him and that we would have Apprentice with us in case anything happens.  She still refused.  Apocalypse Girl told her that no harm would come to him.  The Queen, eyes filled with fear of losing her entertainer, stood at the head of the table.  Without a word she left the room, motioning for a pair of guards to follow her.  The rest of us continued eating.  Food is food, after all, and though safe in Adelaide behind gigantic Walls, that rule held fast.

A few minutes later, Her Majesty returned, escort still no more than two steps behind her.  “I have spoken with him, and he's kind of insistent, isn't he?”  She smiled slightly.  “I've decided that he can join you, but on one condition.”  She pointed to Butler.  “You are going as well, to make certain that he is alright.  If everybody is torn to shreds by the Dead, your job will be to get my Jester out, even at the cost of your own life.  If everybody but my Jester makes it out alive and unbitten, well then I'll just have to have you all executed.”  Her smile showed nothing but teeth.  Her eyes showed nothing but a promise of death should we fail.

An instant later, her mood changed entirely and we were back to laughter and sharing stories about before the end.  I watched Butler carefully, though.  The man was truly scared.

August 5
th
Year 1 A.Z.

morning

Final preparations well under way for our outing into the shopping centre, Apocalypse Girl, Apocalypse Dog, Apprentice, Tiny, The Twin, Machete and Scout surrounded me as we walked down the road to meet up with Deathwish, Jester and Butler, waiting for us out front of the museum that, for whatever reason, they had not cleared out just yet.  There were not likely many Dead wandering inside, yet nobody had bothered to enter and cleanse the place just yet.  Resolving to put it on my list of places-to-clear-out-next, I waved to the motley, mismatched trio standing waiting for the rest of us to arrive.

Butler, looking for all the world as though he had something uncomfortable and brown in his pants, brightened the instant he saw us coming and waved.  Jester seemed almost out of place wearing normal clothing, but as he told us when Apocalypse Girl pointed out his sedate choice of apparel, The Queen didn't want him ruining any of his more entertaining outfits.  Deathwish, however, looked as if he needed a shower and a shave, not to mention another couple of hours sleep.

Checking our supplies one last time, we headed out.  The plan was to enter via the carpark, as that had also been marked as 'to cleanse' and would provide an easy entry to the main complex.  So, we gathered up our supplies, enough for the eleven of us for a week, found a service entrance for which Butler had already appropriated the key, and entered the lower level of the carpark.

I had Butler and Jester wait behind, holding the door open while I, sword drawn, quietly tried to sneak inside.  Apocalypse Girl followed close behind, shining a torch into the darkness.  I saw a silhouette standing next to an old, battered Holden station wagon and attempted to circle around without drawing too much attention to myself.

Unfortunately, I was paying too much attention to the Dead woman beside her car to notice the empty can that I kicked, sending it skittering loudly across the cement and asphalt of the carpark.  I glanced away, startled by the sudden noise, only to look back just in time to see the Dead woman's head slowly turn in my direction.

The torch shining full in her face, the Dead woman's mouth gaped wide, showing yellowed teeth and the black abyss of hunger that threatened to devour us all, at least until the tip of my sword lanced up through the roof of her mouth and deep into her brain, dropping the corpse to the floor.  Apocalypse Dog barked quietly, he clearly could appreciate the need for silence, even if he did feel the need to express his enthusiasm for a good, clean kill.

Keeping an eye out for any more Dead, I motioned for the others to come on through, telling Butler to lock the door behind us.  He did so reluctantly, bidding farewell to the last rays of sunlight as if they were the last he would ever see.

noon

The ground floor of the carpark had been relatively simple, a couple more Dead had shambled out from wherever they lurked before, perhaps drawn out by the kicked can, perhaps the scent of fresh meat.  One in particular nobody noticed, at least until a knife sprouted in the temple of the thing as it dropped over Jester, quite dead.  The little man thanked Deathwish as he bent down to retrieve his blade, who simply grinned at him, seeming to thoroughly be enjoying himself.

We found the mouldy carcasses of several Dead that had been taken out months ago, it seemed, along with several shell casings.  Somebody had been fighting for their lives in this carpark.  Honestly, I hoped that they made it.  I didn't care who they were now, if they still lived, they could be bandits or living in The Empire, or they could even have been Followers of Disciple for all I cared.  Living is still Living, and a better option than being Dead.

Picking our way through vehicles and corpses, some still trying to eat us, but most just lying there rotting away, we made our way to the first floor, above ground level.  The vehicle entrance had been blocked by a couple of cars that had been pushed together as a barrier to prevent the Dead from getting up there.  The few that remained on the lower side turned towards us, realising that we were either food or a threat mere moments before losing whatever passed for cognitive function in those now dead Dead heads.

I told Jester and Butler to stay behind with Apocalypse Girl, Machete and The Twin, making sure that nothing from above the barricade gets back over, while also trying to garner the attention of the Dead above while Deathwish and I, with Apprentice, Tiny and Scout, looked for another way up.  As we quietly hurried to the stairwell, finding that it was a self-contained set of stairs, not simply a set of steps between one level and the next, we found that the door to the next level up was jammed shut.

Scout suggested that we continue up, all the way to the top, and work our way back down.  Deathwish was already climbing the stairs before anyone could think to try to stop him, so we followed him up.  The stairs themselves, though they had graffiti sprayed all over the walls, were clean and free of Dead, and we opened up the final door at the top of the stairs and walked out into fresh air on the rooftop level.

Dead shambled about, many tripping over the dead bodies strewn about the place.  Somebody had taken out rather a lot of them before deciding there were too many, or being overrun and eaten.  Still, I had little time to think about it as those still active noticed the food that had just entered their area and turned towards us.  I drew my sword as Deathwish began throwing knives, dropping a Dead one with each pump of his arm.  An impressive amount of knives later, he admitted that he was now weaponless.  Half of the Dead on the roof now lay dead, however, courtesy of Deathwish's blades.

Scout patted him on the shoulder, congratulating his work, and Tiny flew into action, diving into the oncoming horde, swinging away with fists and feet.  She had acquired some spiked knuckles for herself from somewhere, so each punch very literally in some cases took something's head off.  “Fucking show-off!”  Deathwish commented.  Scout flicked his ear.

Tiny, out of breath now that the rooftop Dead were dealt with, came back to us, smiling brightly.  Again, she had managed to evade the jaws of the Dead while causing immense damage to their numbers.  Deathwish shook his head at her in amazement as she took a moment and a water bottle to wash Dead glorp from her hands.

I took the opportunity to look over the roof, finding nestled between a group of cars a couple of weapons and ammunition crates, most empty, though one contained a combat shotgun and a reasonably large amount of shells.  “Yeah, I'm grabbing this one!”  Deathwish pointed out the obvious as he reached in and grabbed it.  Bringing it up to his shoulder and yanking on the trigger resulted in absolutely nothing.

Disarming him in less time than it takes to blink, Tiny loaded the gun, showing the still-stunned Deathwish where the safety was.  He took it back from her when she offered it to him, bringing it up to his shoulder once again.  She also pointed out that the amount of kick that this weapon has would likely dislocate his shoulder if he fired now, “Best to ignore everything you see in the movies.  Keep it down low, let your arm swing back with the recoil and you should be alright.”  She told him.

“More Dead down here,”  Scout called from the entrance to the down ramp.  “Probably best to take them out on the ramp, before they can surround us.”  Deathwish jumped at the opportunity to try out his new toy, and blasted a hole through the nearest Dead's chest proving that he had indeed learned Tiny's quick lesson.  His next blast shredded the heads of three shamblers, dropping them.

Eventually stopping to reload, Deathwish stepped aside.  My katana sang as it flew into my hand, slicing Dead heads apart as easily as it might slice through weeds.  Before I was even aware of it I had advanced down to the next level, so caught up in the act of slaughter I was.  When we reached the barricade between ground and first floors, every last Dead in five stories of carpark slain, my arms were so fucking tired that I dropped my sword, Machete catching it before it struck the concrete floor.  Then I realised that Apocalypse Girl had caught me just before
I
struck the concrete floor.  I didn't even notice myself collapsing.

evening

We decided to make camp on the roof, as it was reasonably secure, there was a nice breeze if a little chilly and the dead were relatively easily disposed of by rolling them down into the lower section.  We were even able to use some of the cars as shelter to build a small fire to cook with, which was nice because I was honestly expecting to be eating nothing but cold baked beans on this expedition.  They are so much better warmed up, I've found.  The innumerable cans of the stuff were Deathwish's contribution to our food stores, also among the heaviest of all of our supplies.  Weight plus warmth equals baked beans for dinner for a while...

Jester asked us how we all found one another, laughing out loud when we informed him that we had picked up The Twin from a hippy commune, of all places.  He nodded sagely when told that Apocalypse Girl and I had been together since it all started, saying that sort of thing can be a powerful bonding experience.  Scout told her side of our arrival at Coober's Nest, also describing the brutal Dingo attack we had been witness to.  Jester whistled low as we discussed the various nasty attributes that these newly mutated native dogs now had.  “Those Dingoes sound nasty, I hope I never have to see one,”  Jester told us.

“They're nothing, really.  At least you know when they're around, anyway.  Those fucking Drop-Bears, on the other hand, they are just fucked up!”  Apocalypse Girl told him.  The look on Jester's face told her that he didn't believe in Drop-Bears, or Father Christmas or The Easter Bunny either.  Or unicorns or mermaids.  So, we told him what happened to Granny, Apocalypse Girl emphasising the point by showing him the Skillet.  “Now you know why I don't cook with this fucker, yeah?  Don't really want to be eating Dead brains, after all.”

Butler took this opportunity to say something.  “I've heard stories, rumours really, that some people are... eating the flesh of the Dead out there.  Is this true, at all?  Have you guys seen or heard anything like that?”

I told him about the first trio that Apocalypse Girl and I had met with The Colonel, how they had seemed more than a little bit off to the three of us and how the three were dead before I had even realised that The Colonel had drawn her pistol once they had admitted to devouring the Dead.  Butler shuddered.

We decided to take advantage of the long-abandoned vehicles by breaking into them, rifling through them for whatever we might find, Apocalypse Girl finding a bag containing a small hand-held gaming device, amazingly still fully charged, and a few games.  This she promptly handed to Machete, who accepted it gleefully.  “Damn, sometimes it works, sometimes it's just useless crap.”  Machete defended her new entertainment, rightly pointing out that we had taken this job for the sake of entertaining people anyway, so...

Apocalypse Girl gave her a look, sighed and said “Yeah, you've got a point.  Maybe it focussed on that, I don't know.  I don't suppose we actually need anything right now, do we?”

We found comfortable spots in various vehicles, figuring that with the carpark secured we should be fine overnight.  Apocalypse Girl curled up with me, Machete curled up with her games and Apocalypse Dog curled up at our feet.  Fuck me, but it was almost beginning to feel like a normal family outing.