Antidote (Don't) (28 page)

“
Then get him fucking oxygen
.”

“He needs a hospital!” shouted the doctor. “This dosage will fucking kill him unless it’s properly monitored.”

Vince pulled him so close their noses could have shared germs. “Properly monitor it,” he snapped. “It’s what you’re fucking paid for.”

The bedroom was suddenly full of bodies, and somewhere it registered just how many people were involved in this, were in Jack’s home, but then Jack was piled onto a stretcher, still fitting, an oxygen mask now on his face. Vince looked back over at me, scowled, and then snapped out orders. Life bled from the bedroom, leaving me alone with the broken table.

I followed the commotion in the hall as far as my ears would strain. Doors opened, closed, shouts came, all forcing my heart so hard against my chest, it hurt.

And then it was quiet. So fucking quiet.

I forced my breathing to a standstill, hoping to catch something.

Jack

My head fell against the wall. Christ. “I didn’t mean it, baby.” I gripped onto the handcuffs wanting to shout out. I hadn’t meant it. “Didn’t mean it, Jack. Love the bones off you, martial arts guy, fucking love....”

The shuffling outside Jack’s bedroom door had stopped ages ago. Since then, one cough had led to two, then hard barking took over until I threw up. In the darkness of the bedroom, blood intermingled with yellow stomach lining, and I let my head fall back against the wall, heat racing my body, yet shivering with cold as I tried to ignore the smell. Even the stench faded eventually, just leaving behind the chill, the need to sleep. Henry hadn’t been one for sterilising his equipment, the tubing he’d use for force-feeding left on the unit until next time, or knocked on the floor.

“Hey.” A tap came at my foot, just gentle at first, not enough to make me want to open my eyes, but then it came again. “Hey, you awake, Richards?”

“Jack?”

Jack was crouched in front of me, cocking a smile as huge silver eyes seemed to catch the light and glisten like a pool catching the sunlight that had been waiting to break through the clouds. “You still in the same universe as me tonight?”

“Hmmm.” I licked across dry lips, then managed a smile seeing Jack was back on the hard wood floor, running through his kata. “Need a drink,” I mumbled and Jack grinned over. He wore black jogging trousers and a black vest shirt, showing off the toned suppleness to his shoulders, helped by how he’d just half flipped, landing on his hands and was walking around upside down.

“Just a drink, hmmm?” he said, landing on his feet. A moment later he was over by me, straddling my legs as he shifted my hands above my head. “All the time you’ve spent with us and that’s as wild as your imagination gets? I need... a
drink
?”

I chuckled, hating how it choked into a cough in the end, one that had Jack frowning.

“You okay, baby?” he said quietly. He brushed his cheek against mine, then kissed it gently.

“Just need...” Nuzzled into his neck, I knew tears dampened the soft curve. “Need this. Need—”

“You touching my sub, Jan?”

Both of us looked over to see Gray come into his bedroom. It never even clicked where the hell the hall had gone. Jack was pressed up against me, keeping me against the wall, now dressed in white silk pyjamas. My hands had already found a way down to his ass and how the silk smoothed and slipped over the curves of his ass so perfectly.

“Because Jack knows you shouldn’t be touching my sub, Jan.”

Giving a frustrated groan, Jack eased his body away even though his hands stayed on the wall, keeping his lips so tantalisingly close to mine. “Just saying goodnight,” he said moodily.

“So say it and fuck off,” said Gray, unbuttoning his shirt over by the opposite side of the huge bed. “You’re still on no touch street until inauguration.”

Jack was doing this scowl as his hand mimicked everything Gray said; then he pushed away, heading over to Gray.

“You don’t touch me either.”

“No hug?” Jack stopped, only having reached the bottom of the bed, doing this whole
c’mere
thing with open arms and waving him over for a hug. “Use me, lose me, hmmm?”

Gray gave a hard sigh. “I haven’t used anything properly in months, Jack. Save the puppy-dog eyes for the land of soft and gullible over there.”

Jack looked back at me, his eyes hopeful.

“Oh no,” I chuckled. “Not my house, baby. Not my rules.” Jack was suddenly back by me and my back hit the bed as he pushed me down onto it. A black silk sheet was tugged over my face, making me lose sight of the world, and Jack eased his body down on mine. A kiss touched my lips, and I stilled as the silk of the sheet was caught between our lips.

“Jack,” warned Gray.

I tugged the sheet off my head and looked up. “Technically,” said Jack. “I’m not touching him over here.”

“Yeah? Suppose you fell, all accidental like?” said Gray. “The sheet just got in the way?”

“Safe sex,” said Jack, although we were laughing so hard, it barely came out right, it also wasn’t helping having him hiding in my throat, trying to bury it.

“Think you’re both funny?”

“Fucking hilarious,” choked Jack as I stroked the curve of his neck. He had a damn good curve to his neck, kissable, lickable. I could understand why Gray would want a collar there, staking his claim.

“Jack, out,” said Gray, stopping me from doing just that. Jack was groaning against the loss, almost as if he’d sensed what I was going to do. After jamming a hand against my mouth and kissing it, he pushed away, leaving me cold as a draught from the open window caused a run of shivers.

“I’ll just go back to my cold, lonely—empty room, over on the other side of bollockland, with only the smell of Ed’s socks to keep me company.” Giving a scowl at Gray, Jack reached the door, then looked back over. “Later, things.” He winked, and then he was gone into the darkness of the corridor, leaving nothing but the cold draught from the windows.

I choked a sob, not really understanding why the loneliness hurt so much. Gray seemed just as confused as me as he came over and tapped at my leg.

“Hey. Shut the fuck up.”

I blinked, trying to adjust to the light that was coming from the bedroom doorway. The draught was coming from there, not from any open window, and the man crouching in front of me was too stocky to be Gray. He stank of bourbon, even added a run of hiccups to the whole drunk aura he gave off.

Doc. I couldn’t see his face, the light of the doorway silhouetted his form, but deep down I knew it was the doc. Fingers prodded at my eyes, opening the lids.

“Juh—” I wiped my tongue over my lips, winced. “Where’s Jack?” It felt like he’d been here a moment ago, so bloody close. I still tasted him on my lips. I needed to taste him on my lips.

The only answer was the lift up of a syringe in Doc’s right hand. That was good, right? I mean, Jack had taken loads of these. If the Doc held one now, maybe it was time to see Jack. I wouldn’t mind this if it meant I would see Jack; I’d see that he was okay.

I was crying again. “He... Jack. Please, tell me he’s....”

With the syringe placed to the floor, a tug came at the cuff to my shirt before the sleeve was rolled up.

“Jack?” Life was blurry for a moment.

The syringe was picked up off the floor and I didn’t even flinch as it touched my arm.

“Jack’s gone,” said the Doc.

“Gone? Gone where?” I whispered.

Doc smiled thinly. “I’m sorry, okay. A few days ago...” He looked at the needle. “Too much for his system.”

“Jack.” I swallowed and tasted a salty tear on my lips. “’S not gone.”

Doc seemed to shake something off. “Yeah. Hurts. This, this will make it so it doesn’t hurt anymore. Don’t fight it, okay?”

I looked away and didn’t fight the push of needle into me. Nothing was worth fighting for anymore.

I woke up crying out, and the grief carried on when I found the world was black and plastic around me. It felt like I was the mouse stupid enough to wander into a snake’s stomach. Arms were tight at my side, and this strong smell of leather hit my nose. Fingers took on a life of their own as I scratched, clawed, rooted around, panic giving me something to fight and move for. Just level with my navel, I felt the run of a wide zip and traced it up, inching past my face until the underside of the zip’s catch ran under my fingers. Scratching at it with my fingernail, I managed to get it open—then I was tugging it down past my face as far as I could over my body. Somebody had bothered to dress me, suit, tie, the lot.

“Fuck.” I sat up, gasping for air, then instantly regretted it as my head smacked into hard metal. The world swam for a minute as I eased back down and risked opening my eyes. Huge hinges were above me, curved like forks ready to lift and hold something, and I struggled to put them and this plastic sleeping bag into context of Jack’s bedroom. These hinges seemed to belong to the boot of a car, one that was open, me on the inside, looking up. Car? There hadn’t been a car in....

Voices drifted over, and I felt the world move slightly. Bedrooms didn’t shift, or sway and dip as though someone had got in. Cars. Cars shifted with weight.

“I’ll get the boot in a sec,” called a voice. “Doc’s had his fat ass in this. I need to adjust this seat.” The car shifted again as the wind picked, then—“Shut your fucking door. Bloody gust is gonna take it off.”

Someone was in a car, adjusting a seat, and I flinched, wanting to move, but found everything stopped without having Henry there to tell me
to
move, without having the muscle mass and strength to move.

Stupid, so bloody stupid, Jan. Move.

A gust of wind that nearly had me crying out shifted the car, or maybe the seat being adjusted added to it. It pushed me enough to move. Twisting onto my stomach, I eased myself over the rim of the boot. It left me nose-to-nose with the leather bag I’d been in. A blanket sat next to it and I stuffed it into the bag and zipped it back up just as more wind shifted the car, blinding me with my own fringe. Hearing footsteps, I dropped, more slumped as my legs gave out underneath me, and I shuffled under the car, leaves and dirt hitting my face as another gust of wind moved the car. The big estate allowed ample room to hide underneath, to wait, but the cold, wet concrete underneath me and the smell of oil as sets of feet were heard to my left, then right, all left me shivering. A big building ran alongside of us. Grass was on the other side, a fence just up ahead. It was bright, the sun at its highest, but still so cold. Where had all the snow gone? Where the hell was Jack’s house? His street?

“Come on, fucking hurry up, Leo.” The man who had given Jack the overdose? That came from my left as the footsteps to my right came around to the boot. A thump, the force rocking the car, the boot was shut, followed a moment later by someone getting in the passenger side. I made my body as small as possible, kept low to the ground as the exhaust kicked into life inches above my head. It seemed the smartest thing to do a few moments ago, hide here, but if the car reversed, turned left, right, I was in for serious damage.

Covering my head with my hands, I kept as flat as possible to the concrete. Mostly hiding from sight, but also against the wind battering me. After a few seconds, the car pulled off, tyres gently easing forward so as not to cause any damage. I counted to ten, giving the driver enough time to not bother looking back, but also not to draw attention to me staying there if anyone inside the building were to look out.

Once the car was clear, I stumbled back to the building. My back flat against the wall, wasteland was now ahead of me, that big fence to the left, maybe a warehouse to my back, but at least it offered some shelter against the wind. Off to my right, the lack of wind allowed the sound of a main road to filter over.

Running was hard. Concrete and pebbles bit into my bare feet hard as I rounded the corner. It took me past a closed loading bay with huge containers used for transport, an unused forklift, more wasteland, then wood hit my hands as I reached a fence. I scrambled up over it, ignoring the splinters, and dropped to the floor on the other side. I landed awkwardly, my ass hitting a pool of mud, but only inches from a minor “B” road. One car passed me by, horn blaring, surface water spraying me, and I pushed up and ran into the road seeing the next one.