Antidote (Don't) (56 page)

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Oh boy… where to start with this one. Usually I can go into some things with a pretty logical process in mind, a “this needs to happen, so does this: get it done” outlook. The content in Antidote made that very hard this time around, to the point that some parts left me really disliking myself as an author. The intent is always there to focus any anger and frustration on the characters responsible for the damage and hurt, but when all’s said and done, as the author the words are mine, and what each character and reader goes through is on my shoulders. I knew this one was going to be hard.

In
Don’t…
there was really only the first-time glimpse at Jack and his orders. In Antidote, I wanted to look the full implications, how the long-lasting effect of living with someone with these disorders can be a whole new world, and one that doesn’t leave you with much sleep, just mentally bruised when the routine they’ve built is thrown into chaos.

I’ve seen the lasting effects of fits when coping levels are breached, but I’ve also run into similar minor absences that Jack Harrison goes through in this novel. When you’re just learning to keep an eye the signs for the first time, it can leave you scared as hell as the onlooker. But there’s always the person behind it who matters the most, who doesn’t understand, and the love is always there, regardless. At the end of the day, I think I understood more just how tired and emotionally drained Gray felt, despite that deeply rooted love he has for Jack.

Balancing Jack’s disorders with BDSM and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) also became complicated throughout this word. In coping with disorders, I know about the consultations, paperwork, and risk assessments. To represent that reality, maintaining Jack’s care plan for his disorders had to take priority over RACK, and a compromise found between the two. Take away Jack’s disorders, he would still be a switch, and it’s that part that Gray tempers. But with his disorders, RACK had to fit into Jack’s care plan.

To further amp up the heat, Antidote saw the lovely Ms. Kelling and the Society of Masters’ shared-world project come into play. Antidote brings in only a small taster into the SoM world, between my
Don’t
novels and Lynn Kelling’s
Deliver Us
series. There’s mention of a trip to America for Jan, Gray, and Jack, which Ms. Kelling’s
Forgive Us
(third in the Deliver Us works) takes the SoM world fully by the horns and investigates just what happens during that week away in America.

It’s such an extreme pleasure to work with Ms. Kelling, bouncing ideas around, exploring what our characters could get up to, and it’s provided a good source of story lines for my part of the SoM project that will come more into light in
Splintered Kisses
and
Gray Matters
. I’m going to offer a huge and personal thanks here to Ms. Kelling (especially, y’hear, Ms. Kelling, for doing that
one thing
to Jack that I needed to see be done!).

I’ve loved sharing these worlds, and I’m really looking forward to handling her boys in my world.

Antidote has been a very complicated work to piece together in general, and as usual, in dealing with all of that, I’ve had help from various sources, especially insights into certain specialist fields: Dr. Kaufman, who specializes in
fictional
psychological character profiling over at Archetype writing; Dilo Keith, erotica author and BDSM consultant, who continues to provide excellent conceptual and technical guidance into Jack and Gray’s world, and also the staff at Forbidden Fiction, especially my editor, Rylan Hunter, who showed a lot of patience as I found my feet within Antidote. And not to forget my beta readers: La Crimson Femme, and one lady in particular who’s been there on the end of every email, not only as a tireless line editor and dark content consultant, but also as a damn good friend: Vicki Howard.

I keep saying that Jack’s a complicated character, but he wouldn’t continue to unravel and challenge my thoughts the way he does without the help from all of the people above, those who have all helped order my own chaotic thoughts in one way or another. Thank you! Always! For putting up with my questions and my constant picking at a scene just to get it to feel right.

Website:
http:jacklpyke.com

Jack L. Pyke
blames her dark writing influences on living close to one of England’s finest forests. Having grown up hearing a history of kidnappings, murders, strange sightings, and sexual exploits her neck of the woods is renowned for, Jack takes that into her writing. Having also learned that human coping strategies for intense situations can sometimes make the best of people have disastrously bad moments. Redeeming those flaws is Jack’s drive, and if that drive just happens to lead to sexual tension between two or more guys, Jack’s the first to let nature take its course.

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