Anything He Desires (7 page)

*

             
Kristen walked in wearing a black, skin-tight dress that hugged every curve she had. She had also let her hair down and it flowed in waves down her back.

The dress was cut low in the front and back so her translucent skin was visible.  Logan wanted to throw her on her desk and have his way with her. She wasn’t playing fair.

Shanna took one look at Kristen and then at Logan’s expression and laughed out loud. Logan glared at her. Shanna just grinned, mumbling, “Never a dull moment at this job, boss.”

Logan turned to Kristen. “You look nice today. Is all this for me? I’m flattered.”

“If you remember, I have a date and won’t have time to change. I guess you could say this is for him. Sorry to disappoint you.” She sashayed into her office, knowing full well his eyes were glued to every swing of her hips.

             
Logan started to follow her but then remembered their truce. He would allow her this round, but at five o clock sharp all bets were off.

             
Work passed by quickly because they had a lot of kids coming in and then the grand opening needed their attention as well.

Logan was denied his five o’clock round two because Carlos came early.

Logan was so livid he had to use all the self-control he had to keep from breaking the man in two, and then into fours, and then into easily manageable pieces he could scatter in a river somewhere. The way his eyes followed Kristen made Logan want to strangle him. Never mind that
he
had been staring at her all day. She was his and he could stare all he wanted.

             
Kristen came by and said her good byes. Logan only glared at her and she gave him her brightest smile.

Carlos walked her out.

Logan decided to make sure nothing happened. He told Shanna to lock up and nearly knocked her over getting out to his car.

“Please follow them,” he told Ed.

“Sure thing, boss.” “Do you want me to follow so they can’t see us?” Ed asked.

“No, I want them to see me.”

*

             
Carlos took her to a small restaurant in the neighborhood.  They had a nice dinner. Over the food and wine, Carlos talked. He was one of those Latinos who expressed himself with his hands. It was obvious he was in a good mood. Or maybe chocolate cake and ice cream did that to everyone. Kristen hated to ruin it but she could barely eat and had to choke down her salad. Her guilt was extreme and she couldn’t get Logan out of her mind. 

When it was over, Kristen knew she had to be honest with Carlos.

“I’m so sorry, but this was just a friendly dinner, right, Carlos?”

She could see the disappointment on his face.

“Is it something I’ve done?” he asked.

“No. You’re great. I’m just really busy and I want to focus on the center right now. I don’t know about the future, but when I’m ready, maybe we could try again.”

He smiled at the possibility and walked her out. He offered to drive her to her car but she declined. The few blocks to the center were well lit and the walk would do her good. He protested at first but she convinced him she’d be fine.

She kissed him on the cheek. It was the least she could do after using him in this way.

             
Kristen was lost in thought and halfway to the center when she felt someone grab her from behind. Her breath caught in her throat. She should have been paying more attention. The arm around her throat tightened when she tried to get away. She could feel the man’s rancid breath on her neck.

“Look what I found. A nice present from my old friend Carlos,” the man said in her ear. With his free hand, he touched her body, stopping to squeeze her breast. He worked his way down her stomach and touched her between her legs. She was paralyzed with fear and could do nothing to save herself. She was at this man’s mercy.

             
Before she had time to muster her nerve and try to elbow or kick backward, she felt him being wrenched away from her.

Logan was there, pounding the guy in the face.

*

He didn’t stop until the guy was limp on the ground. And then he went to Kristen, telling Ed to call 911 from his blocked line and have them pick the guy up. He didn’t want to be involved with the police so he would let Ed handle things.

He carried Kristen the remaining distance to the center. He was both angry and scared for her.

As soon as they were inside the building, he started kissing her hard. She yanked away from him, looking at him in bewilderment.

“Do you know what he wanted to do to you?” he asked, anguish and fear clouding his judgment.

             
He pulled her into his arms and she didn’t fight him. He reached down and bit her lip, making it bleed.

“You are mine.” He continued kissing her roughly, desperately.

*

Despite—perhaps because of—his roughness, Kristen felt her body respond to him. When he pulled away, she saw disgust in his eyes and thought it was for her.  She started to cry, tears of humiliation and anger. When he saw the tears, he pulled her into his arms and told her he was sorry over and over again. He wasn’t making sense but she’d stay in his arms as long as she could.

*

             
He kissed her tears away gently and tenderly. He held her while she cried in his arms. It was a good sign that she let him hold her. He’d been afraid he had finally pushed her away for good.

Gradually, she quieted in his arms. He called Ed to pick them up and carried her to the car. He had comforted her but she looked lost. His driver started to say something but after seeing the look on Logan’s face, he just opened the door.

“Take us home, Ed.”

Logan had thought Kristen would protest but she didn’t.

             
He held her the entire drive home and then carried her inside.

He went to his Jacuzzi tub and ran her a bath.

She wasn’t talking and it scared him. He wanted to help her relax and then put her to bed. He needed to take care of her and make her feel safe again. He wanted her to be safe from the monsters on the street and from all the men who’d cause her harm. He would protect her with his life if needed, and that urge didn’t feel excessive at all, only natural.

He washed her, dried her off and put her in one of his t-shirts.

He tucked her into his bed and stroked her hair as she fell asleep. She looked so small and fragile in his bed. An overwhelming feeling of protectiveness came over him. She was special. To him. She’d been nearly, truly, horrifyingly hurt earlier and it scared the hell out of him.

He had never before wanted to protect anyone in his life, with the exception of his brother. That hadn’t turned out so well and he had failed his brother miserably.

He didn’t want to make that mistake twice. He would protect Kristen from the monsters of the world.

But who would protect her from him?

Chapter Six

Kristen’s Turn

             
Kristen woke up in Logan’s bed and this time he was with her.

He was still asleep. He looked quite angelic with those long lashes that should be on a girl by rights. His skin was so smooth she had to stop from nuzzling him on the forehead.

She wondered what had happened to him in his past to make him the way he was. He could be so violent one moment and so gentle the next. She wasn’t afraid of him, though a part of her thought she should be. He had hurt her last night but he had also taken care of her and healed her. He was the hero and the villain all wrapped together in one package. She didn’t know how to feel about him.

*

             
Logan woke up to Kristen staring at him. The light was back in her eyes this morning and he was glad. She deserved an explanation and answers but he didn’t quite know what to say to her.

When she laid a hand on his cheek, it’s like something inside him unlocked and he heard himself murmuring everything to her before he even knew what he was doing.

“I’m sorry I lost control last night. I was crazy jealous when you went out with Carlos. I lost it when that bastard attacked you. I couldn’t stand the thought that something might happen to you. This isn’t an excuse for my actions—I was so disgusted with myself—but I want you to know how I feel. You need to know why I’m the way I am.”

She nodded and threaded her fingers through her hair. He sighed.

“I’d only loved one person in my life, my younger brother. He’s dead because I couldn’t protect him.”

Kristen’s lips parted and her fingers clutched at his hair. Tears stung his eyes. Logan gritted his teeth and continued.

             
“I’d made it a practice to not allow anyone or anything in as a defense mechanism. I let down the one person who needed me and I swore I would never be in that position of responsibility again. Then you come along and I’m lost to you. You make me feel all the things I’d avoided and I truly don’t know what to do. I’m not normal or gentle. I’m hard and there are times in the bedroom I feel like I’ll hurt you because I get carried away. I have always chosen women who didn’t mind the roughness but how can I ask that of you? I haven’t even slept in a bed with a woman before in my life and I didn’t know I could until last night. I couldn’t leave you, Kristen. I’m not sure what you want to do but you should know I care about you and I want you in my life.”

*

             
Kristen’s chest tightened to see him look so hurt and broken. She burrowed into his chest holding him as close to him as she could.

“I want you, too. But to be with you, I’d have to give up my ideas of love and fidelity and a happily-ever-after. Your sexual leanings do scare me a little, but I’m not sure how mad I can be if I’m enjoying the mixture of pain and pleasure, and I do. . I know I would be better off if I just walked away but I don’t know if I can.  I—I think I love you, Logan. I don’t expect you to say it back but if I can’t resist you and still want to be with you despite it all, it’s probably love, isn’t it?”

*

             
Logan stared at her while his heart tried to drum its way out of his ribcage. Yes, it was probably love, wasn’t it? He wanted to tell her he loved her, too.

He started to talk but she stopped him.

“Tell me later. Let’s go to work now. I can’t bear to hear you say you don’t love me and I’m afraid you will say it because of guilt over last night. Just think about it okay?”

He nodded almost frantically. She could ask him to do a headstand for five hours and he’d say yes. “Okay. I do want us to be exclusive while we figure it out, please. I can’t share you and I promise I’ll be faithful as well.”

*

Kristen’s heart did a little flip flop. He may not love her but at least she would have him all to herself.

“Okay,” she said casually, as if she didn’t want to pounce on him right then. “Now let’s go to work.”

*

             
He wanted to take her right there in his bed but he wouldn’t risk making things bad when they were currently so good. .

Instead, he showed her the clothing he had purchased for her when he’d left her the morning before. He’d wanted her to have clothes at his house so she wouldn’t have to rush home and get ready.

*

Kristen blinked at her very own shelves in his walk-in wardrobe and was surprised and touched by his generosity. Everything was her size and even though they looked casual, they were all from expensive brands.

She took a quick shower and changed while he got ready in the other bathroom. He was being very careful with her this morning and it was so sweet of him. She needed a little gentleness and care after his episode last night. She put it out of her mind but she couldn’t help but think he might be more than she could handle. She was an innocent and he wasn’t. How could they survive? Then again how could they not?

*

             
For the next few days, they just enjoyed being together. Logan was easy with her because he knew she needed to be reassured he wasn’t a monster like the bastard who’d attacked her. She was responding to him. He had never wanted to be exclusive with anyone and he didn’t know the rules or perimeters. He was trying to sort it all out in his head and he wished he had paid more attention when people had discussed their relationships. He had always viewed relationships as a weakness and had avoided them at all costs. Now he was having a relationship of his own and he was clueless as to what it entailed.

But Kristen made it all better and worth the effort.  She wasn’t at all like the girlfriends he’d heard about who wanted an accounting of everything their boyfriends did. Kristen didn’t even seem to care he didn’t know what he was doing. She was simply supportive of him. He didn’t know a woman like her existed. She continually amazed him.

*