Authors: J. F. Jenkins
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Anj woke up on Mr. Thantos's couch, feeling energetic and relaxed. When he couldn't sleep right and the lack of rest took a toll on his body, Anj went to the angel's bedroom. Something about the place protected Anj from his Fate powers. Mr. Thantos put up a lot of wards to keep his room clear of all dark powers and spirits â from all things supernatural.
“Sleep well?” Mr. Thantos asked from the kitchen.
“Yeah,” Anj answered, groggy from the overload of sleep. It felt nice all the same. His body didn't feel heavy anymore nor did his mind feel like mush.
“Did you dream?”
“Yes, but not about anything I feel like sharing with you,” Anj teased with a smirk.
“It has been three hours,” Mr. Thantos said.
Anj blinked. “Only?”
“Yes. You have slept through a meal. I made something for us to share because I think we should discuss your last semester. As your adviser, it is my job to check in on you. I am sure you understand.” Mr. Thantos moved about the kitchen, no doubt grabbing plates and getting ready to serve whatever he had made.
After slowly standing up, Anj put out a hand so he could feel his way through the maze of books the angel had constructed in his living room. There were so many, and not enough bookshelves to contain them all. It seemed like a fire hazard, but Anj understood. He too had a hard time letting go of things he enjoyed.
“You should help him,” Mr. Thantos said in a soft voice. At first, Anj thought he was being spoken to. Then he heard the dog bark and a jingling of tags, followed by the feeling of a wet nose underneath his palm. Anj felt around for the harness and grabbed it.
“You're going to confuse him. This isn't how we trained,” he said.
Mr. Thantos laughed, which was a rare sound. “I trained him better while you were resting.”
“Oh?” Anj was led to the kitchen. He found a chair and sat down. A rather delicious smell of macaroni and cheese filled his nostrils.
“You may start without me. I will not be long.” Mr. Thantos worked at the kitchen counter for another few minutes before sitting down at the table, setting another plate down with him.
Anj didn't have to be told twice to dig in. He picked up his fork and started to eat, feeling like he hadn't in days. It was far from the truth, but he was a growing boy still. When he slept well, he could eat his weight in food and then some.
“So what do you mean, you trained him better?” he asked in between bites.
“I simply told him to listen well to your commands. Be observant as well as helpful. Animals are so much smarter than they are given credit for. I know you do not have a preference for dogs, but I think you will find him quite enjoyable. Have you named him yet? You passed out on my couch before you had the chance to tell me, and he did not want to tell me himself for fear of waking you. He is very eager to please you because he senses your hesitations.”
“Guy.”
“An unusual name for a dog.”
“It's an unofficial form of Guido, which means forest guide. Zes came up with it. I agreed with him and thought it would be an easier name for the dog to understand. It's a fitting name anyway.”
Mr. Thantos made a quiet, thoughtful-sounding noise as he ate. “I do not foresee the two of you having any problems so long as you make sure to tell him he is doing a good job. Dogs like that sort of thing.”
“I won't forget,” Anj said. “You wanted to talk about other things?”
“I wanted to see how you were handling your college-level courses,” Mr. Thantos said, deadpan as usual.
The two of them got along well. Anj didn't think of the angel as a teacher but more like a friend. There was no fear and complete honesty. “I think it's going well. The textbooks are old, but they aren't as hard to understand as I was anticipating. Shouldn't be anything I can't handle. Especially since I don't have any outside distractions. Not at the moment at least.”
“You mean your fight with your girlfriend is not a distraction? Or is she not your girlfriend anymore? Did you break up again?”
“No, we didn't break up again. We just haven't spoken to each other since Saturday afternoon. It's what? Monday? Something like that. Only two days. I'm trying to decide what to do. If we should break up or not. She did some things that, quite frankly, infuriate me. They say to take some time to cool off. It's just taking longer than usual to get over it.” Anj stirred his food, losing his appetite at the mention of Jewl. They hadn't said more than two words to one another since their fight. A shame, because he wanted to show off the new dog and spend some quality time with her before they went back to class tomorrow.
Mr. Thantos put his fork down. “What is stopping you?”
“Hmm?”
“What is stopping you from spending the time you want with her?”
Anj smiled. A long time ago, he and Mr. Thantos had established that nothing was off limits between them. If the angel happened to catch Anj's thoughts and felt they needed to be discussed, then he did so. “Because of what she did, and don't pretend you don't know. You've known for a while.”
“I have. And you understand why I am not able to discuss it.”
“Unfortunately, and I heard you tell Zes what the school board wants. It's still disappointing to me that Jewl would do something so heartless.” Anj shrugged, trying to not let the extent of his emotions show.
Mr. Thantos sighed mockingly, like he was the lovesick one. “Jealousy does a number of things to a person. Do you blame her for seeing Cheyenne as a threat? You used her to get a rise from your then-ex. Jewl lashed out. Caring for Cheyenne, and for your feelings, went out the window because of your actions.”
“So this is my fault?” Anj raised an eyebrow, turning on his magic so he could make eye contact with his mentor. He loathed doing it, but it was necessary.
Mr. Thantos held his gaze for a moment before casually dishing more food onto his plate. It was a strange sight to get used to, because the angel was in his natural form. Instead of hiding his wings under clothing, they were sticking out of the dark green button-down he wore. Mr. Thantos's wings were a black, broken mess. One was completely ripped and tattered, with only a few feathers hanging off the remaining bones. The other was full-length, but many of the black feathers were shredded. Most students were not used to seeing the angel so casual. Few got the privilege.
“For every action, there is a consequence. I am not saying it is solely on your shoulders that this is happening. However, you cannot deny being one of the catalysts,” Mr. Thantos stated matter-of-factly.
“So you think I should forgive and forget basically?” Anj asked.
“I am saying you cannot be too hard on her for making a mistake. We all make them. What she did was not a wise decision, but a number of the things you have done fall under the same category. You clearly love her or this would not cause you so much heartache. She is important to you or you would not feel so much turmoil over what to do. Do you still believe you are destined to be together for the rest of your lives?”
“Yes,” Anj said, absorbing his teacher's words. Mr. Thantos had a way of painting things in a new perspective.
Mr. Thantos nodded thoughtfully. “Then do not lose heart. Talk with her, and I am sure you will sort things out. Forgiving her will not make you weak, nor is it a betrayal of your brother.”
“He doesn't even know yet. I told her she's the one who's going to have to tell. When things die down, of course.”
“Of course. It is good to be in the know of all of your major life issues. It helps me do my job well. I am assuming you have not given the ring to Jewl yet?”
“You assume correctly. It almost happened over Christmas. Something always gets in the way,” Anj said.
“And something always will. Take my advice before you end up like me. Seize the opportunity, or you may lose it forever.” Mr. Thantos averted his gaze to the table, and his lone, black, tattered, and broken wing drooped. “Granted, I do not condone rushing into something like marriage, but given your history together, I do not see any problems entering into such a commitment. Besides, it is not as if you have to actually perform the ceremony as soon as she accepts your proposal.”
“One of the reasons I've been waiting, but you're right. Something is always going to come up.” He sighed.
Mr. Thantos couldn't make skin-to-skin contact with another creature without killing it. Naturally, it caused a lot of problems for him and any potential romance. It was one of the many reasons he kept to himself and was so cynical. How could anyone have a relationship without touch? Anj couldn't imagine it. So much of his emotions were expressed through that one sense.
Still, the angel knew a lot about true, deep, unrequited love. He was in love with a married woman. Anj didn't know the whole story, just that before Mrs. Orinda had become a missus, the two had met. The angel had yet to confess his feelings to her. Since she was married now, there was probably no point to it. Mr. Thantos had only talked about it with Anj once and demanded they never speak of it again. But Anj had a good memory, and he knew the angel was right. He didn't want to be alone and living in regret for the rest of his life. If only it were so simple.
There's a lot to think about.
There's a lot I wish I could say, but you know I can't. There are rules. They've given me a new kind of ultimatum, her or my brother. My abilities are growing. I don't think anything will go back to being simple.
He watched the angel nod, and Anj turned off his magic, conserving the rest of it.
From what he understood, the Elders didn't monitor his thoughts, not even Neil who could read minds. It was one way for Anj to talk about his secret gifts without actually talking about them. Getting advice was harder. Mr. Thantos couldn't reply without someone knowing. Anj had no idea how the Elders knew so much and were able to watch every moment of all the Fates' lives. It was kind of unsettling, because there were aspects of his life he'd like to keep private.
“I feel desperate,” Anj whispered at last, breaking the silence.
“Desperation brings out our strengths and highlights our weaknesses. Your relationship will work out well. The two of you have come too far to give up now. It would make all your past turmoil a waste. I know you will make the right decision.” Mr. Thantos's gloved hand settled on Anj's back firmly.
Cryptic, but I think I understand.
He had to suck it up and talk to Jewl.
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Zes played with the dog on the floor while he listened to his brother talk on the phone with Jewl. Naturally, he had to eavesdrop because it sounded like an intense and interesting conversation. He had no idea why they hadn't spoken to each other much over the past couple of days. Any time he tried to ask Anj about it, the subject got dodged.
“I'm still mad⦠Are you sorry?⦠Then that's what matters most⦠Yes⦠You bet you are⦠I guess you could say I realized I've done things just as bad⦠I love you. That's what matters the most in the end. We'll never get beyond where we are if we can't forgive things, and we said we were going to build up trust again. I'd be a hypocrite for dumping you because you told the truth⦠Yes, we'll work through it⦔ And then Anj walked out of the room.
With a shrug, Zes went back to focusing on the chocolate Labrador puppy. Guy was almost full size but about six months old, so he had a playful spirit. He was a beautiful animal. It'd take him a couple of years to fully grow and mellow out, but apparently, he was at an appropriate age to learn his job. Zes still couldn't believe he got to help take care of the pup.
“Good boy. Go fetch,” he said, tossing a ball across the room and being mindful of not throwing it by Anj's room. By the time the dog brought the ball back, his brother was off the phone and coming back into the den.
Anj rubbed at his face, closed his eyes, and sat down in his favorite recliner. “Girls.”
Zes couldn't help but laugh. “If I had a nickel for every time you said that, I think I'd be a millionaire by now.”
“You already are a millionaire,” Anj said.
“I meant not because of the inheritance. You totally missed the point,” he said.
“No, I understand. I say it a lot. You're funny.”
“You're grumpy.”
“Tired.”
“I thought you took a nap?” Zes eyed his brother curiously. “Did I miss something?”
Anj shook his head. “No, you didn't miss anything. I did take a nap. It wasn't quite enough, but I think tonight I'll be able to sleep just fine. At least I'm not having nightmares right now.”
The nightmares were the worst. Sometimes they hurt his brother. Zes couldn't count how many times he'd woken up to find Anj shaking in bed or paralyzed. At least Anj wasn't conscious of those things happening to him, but the physical effects of his dreams still impacted him a lot.
“Things better now?” Zes asked, changing topics. He knew how much Anj hated talking about the dreams, which was respectable because Zes hated talking about his, too. Most of the time he didn't dream about anything, but when he did, they were vivid and strong, twisted even, yet hardly ever bad. Not until recently, at least. Sometimes he dreamed about the underworld.
“Yes, things are better,” Anj said.
“Good, because I can't go out on sappy double dates if you two don't stay made up,” he teased, trying to keep everything light.
“I've been wanting to do that for a long time. Glad there's finally a girl who can see what a catch you are. I mean, we're identical, so you're just as awesome as I am, if not more so.”
“Aw, shucks, I'm blushing.” Zes rolled his eyes.
Anj laughed. “Mocking me? Fine, but honestly, now I won't feel so guilty about hanging around. This is the kind of thing I've been wanting to do for a long time. It's our last semester together.”
“We need to make it count,” Zes agreed, scratching Guy behind the ears. In his gut, he knew this would be the biggest semester of his life. Everything was falling into place right where it belonged, which was exactly how he'd imagined his last year of school ending. All questions answered, all what-ifs known, and the path for his life clear.