Arizona Allspice (16 page)

The last time I was without my glasses was five years ago. After only a few weeks of wearing them regularly, they were broken because of Denise’s clumsiness and had to be replaced. Technically, Joey is the one that broke my glasses. I’d almost forgotten Joey’s involvement.
Maybe because, unlike Denise, he had apologized.

******

It was day four of my freshman year of high school. My arm fell away from placing a textbook into my locker. My locker had only a few profanities written on it that day. “You’re really going to side with them?”

She eyed the students walking the crowded hall and pulled down on her tight red miniskirt before answering me. “You haven’t sided with
us
, Elaine. Ever since we started high school,
me
,
Ariella
, and even Marisol notice that you barely come around. You don’t eat lunch with us! We don’t hang out! What am I supposed to think?” She pushed out her pink painted lips and widened her kohl lined eyes at me.

“Think for yourself, maybe? Come to your own conclusions?” I shoved another book in my locker and take out a folder. “Do you think I’m happy about losing the bond I’ve had with you and
Ariella
since we were ten years old?”

“See, that’s what I don’t get with you. The bond isn’t broken.
You
left.”

“I just can’t do what…you guys do. I don’t want what you want. We don’t see things the same way and I’m not going to pretend I do.”

She crossed her arms and stomped her high-heeled foot. “You’re just too high on your horse and too prude to accept how things are. This is how the world works,
hermana
. People grow up and want grown up things. I want the finer things in life and you don’t get that by having no confidence and acting all delicate. If you’d wear a skirt and show some cleavage once in a while you’d be happy too.” She smiled.

“What does smoking weed or blacking out drunk at a party or sleeping around have to do with getting ‘the finer things in life’, huh? What does that have to do with confidence? It’s a big lie, Denise! You are being no different from the plastic Village Kids who walk around here with their noses up in the air!”

She fingered her long brown hair with honey highlights and laughed. “I’m not fake,
mami
. I’m real. I’m in reality and you are in Fairyland. Fake is the stupid nerdy glasses you’ve started wearing even though you can see,” she snatched the glasses from my face, “just fine.” She smiled playfully.

 At that moment I thought of all of us in the early days.
Ariella
, Denise, Denise’s cousin Marisol, and I were all friends. Marisol and I would bump heads sometimes but I was cool with Denise and close to
Ariella
.
Ariella
was my best buddy, next to Manny of course. Denise was silly and high-spirited. She was a very persuasive person who could charm the shirt off your back and the last five dollars out of your wallet and Manny was just one of the guys under her spell. It used to be genuine, her personality. It was now a tool to get what she wanted.

She moved her hand away as I tried to grab my glasses back. The bell rang signaling that the next class would start in two minutes.

“Come on, Denise. I’m going to be late for class.”

“No. You need to talk to us again.”

“Hand me my glasses,” I grew serious. “What’s there to talk about? Where your next piercing will be?”

“
Ariella
is pregnant.”

I chuckled. “Oh please. If she was, I would be the first one to know.”

“Really?
How could she tell you when you weren’t there to listen to her? ‘Cause you were busy trotting along on your high horse.”

“If she’s really pregnant, which she isn’t, I wouldn’t blame anyone but you.” I glared at her.

“Me!”

“You flaunt yourself as the ringleader so take the responsibility for your poor leadership!”

“You don’t have a heart!” Denise cried.

I was taken aback by the tremble in her voice.

“All you care about is you!” she said.

“That is so untrue. Give me my glasses back!” In my attempt to retrieve my two-toned black and purple glasses they fell out of Denise’s outstretched hand and slid across the floor to the middle of the hall, right when Joey and his pack were making their way down that hall to class. Boisterous and immature, they snorted and shoved their way down the hall towards my fallen spectacles. The sound of the late bell collided with the mentally magnified sound of my glasses being crushed under Joey’s sneaker. His buddies rushed past him to get to their classes while he stood and lifted his shoe to identify the wreckage. My glasses were bent severely at the bridge and one of the lenses had shattered completely.

“Shit,” I muttered.

Standing beside me, Denise shrugged her tan shoulders. “Don’t worry, Elaine,” she announced, “I’m sure you can afford to buy another pair.” She laughed, gave Joey a flirtatious smile, and swished away to her class. All I could think about was
Ariella
. Was she really pregnant? I couldn’t wrap my mind around
Ariella
making such a mistake and not confiding in me, her best friend. Denise had to be lying. Joey’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. He was standing in front of me with the pieces of my glasses in his cupped hands.

“I’m really sorry,” he apologized to the shards of glass. It seemed that way since he wasn’t looking me in the eye. He and I stood in the empty hall. It wasn’t his fault. Denise was the one that dropped them. In fact, she probably dropped them on purpose. The tiny hairs at the nape of my neck stood up at the thought. How could she expect me to remain friends with her, someone who out of the blue becomes a person who acts so spiteful? Denise was wrong. The bond was broken.

“You know what?”

Joey’s blue eyes met mine.

“Just throw it in the trash, Joey. It’s beyond repair.” I slammed my locker shut and jogged to my English class.
Ariella
suddenly moved out of town before I could talk to her. She left without saying goodbye.

******

 
“Hi Miss Kinsley.”
 I glance at Joey’s journal on the nightstand, and back at Miss Kinsley standing by Joey’s hospital bed.

“Hey sweetheart!
Oh, you look lovely with your hair down.”

“Thank you. You too,” I smile.

She pats at her long red curls. “Yes, I washed it early this morning. I thought of my Joey. I loved washing his hair when he was a little boy. My hair was never as soft and my curls never as full as his.”

 I watch her slender hand smooth along his head. It’s been three days since his cranial surgery and his head has gone from bare to having a soft amber new growth. Soon it would be that vibrant red again. I’m taken aback by the deep fascination I have with seeing that progression. I laugh lightly. I have to admit Joey at least has interesting hair going for him.

“I was hoping to run into you today.” She grins. “I have very positive news. Dr. Rice gave Joey some brain scans and he says that the swelling is almost completely down and he had a normal CAT scan. Dr. Rice let me know that a normal scan does not necessarily mean a lack of injury side effects, but Joey could be taken out of the coma as soon as tomorrow.”

 “That’s great,” I beam. The sooner Joey becomes conscious the sooner he can give a police statement and the quicker Manny can be released from jail.

“It’s amazing. I’ve missed him so much.” She swipes the tears from her eyes with her finger. “I know you’ve missed him almost as much as I have.”

I nod.

“My Joey has so much passion about soccer and helping others and he is blessed with
an energy
, a fire. And he always, always is a gentleman, always trying to do the right thing. He’s got so much love to give.” Miss Kinsley tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I just finished reading his journal. I thought he hadn’t written anything since high school, but he wrote one last thing the night before the accident happened. He wrote about finally having a chance with this girl he’s had a crush on since the day he started going to Lorenzo High.” She winks.

“I hardly knew him in high school,” I blab.

“You’re right. You guys have been going out for a couple months now. Then why would he write a poem about having a chance to talk to you only three days ago?” Her eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Um…” My heart begins racing. She knows. I watch her eyes widen. I was about to utter another lie to cover myself when she says, “Oh, I shouldn’t have said that! Oh no, forget I said that. I’m sure he was talking about you, Elaine. I’m sure of it. He had to be! The way he describes you…” she smiles sweetly as she surveys my face. “It has to be you.” I nervously smile back. “Um, I gotta get home and get ready for work. Those
Bartolo’s
Pizza Parlor tables don’t clean themselves off. I’ll give you a call tomorrow and keep you updated on Joey.” She retrieves her purse from the floor by the chair and slips the strap onto her shoulder, looking over at her son the whole while.

“I’ll see you later, Miss Kinsley. I want to keep Joey
company
this evening.”

Miss Kinsley
waves
goodbye, heads for the door, turns one last time to look at Joey, waves to me again, and walks out of the hospital room. I plop down into the chair, resting my elbows on my thighs and cradling my face in my hands. How long can I continue pretending to be his girl and what do I say if Miss Kinsley detects my lie before then? I could break up with Joey soon after he recovers. If, God forbid, he wakes up with a brain injury then I’ll look like a superficial tramp for leaving him. I could tell her another lie, that I’m an ex-girlfriend desperate to be by his side, and be seen as a lovesick lunatic rather than a superficial tramp.

I admire the curve of Joey’s lips and wonder if he normally slept with his mouth open. “Joseph Kinsley,” I utter, “Those times I said I wished you would shut up and mind your own business, for the record, I never meant for it to happen like this.” A heavyhearted laugh floats from my mouth into the silent room.

There are a few more flower arrangements in here. I had a really good idea of who they were from. “Joey? Did you go out with Denise?
With Marisol?
How could you even stand them? There’s no way that as Manny’s best friend you didn’t know how he felt about Denise. Why would you see Denise, if you knew that?” I pause, realizing something. “I bet that’s why Manny punched you a few good times. God, Denise destroys everything.” I look up at the ceiling to keep the tears back. I lower my eyes and they rest, unfocused, on Joey’s arm. “You can’t answer me. Manny will tell me everything tonight.” I look at the black leather bound journal on the nightstand. “Or I could read your diary and get an answer now.”

I thought I was going to high school with the friends I’d known all my life. Turns out I’ve got to move from Drexel-
Alvernon
to a city called Cadence. Mom and I don’t know how it’s going to be down there. She doesn’t know whether she’ll be able to find a job and take care of me or whether Mason will find her. I’m not worried about Mason. He’ll be in prison for a while. I’m not even that sad about leaving my friends behind. My mom’s broken bones have healed, she’s divorcing Mason, and that’s all that matters.