Arizona Allspice (18 page)

 I run to the door but it’s locked and I hear Miss
Marna
asking him to calm down and she sounds like she’s okay. I listen to her trying to soothe him and apologize and I get so angry I want to bust the door in even more. I know I shouldn’t. I can’t stick my nose into their marital problems. I’m just not going to see her hurt on my watch. I listen at the door and he’s talking in a normal voice, their just bickering, and even that puts knots in my stomach, to hear that conflict, so I go to leave.  I glance at the papers she was stuffing envelopes with earlier. They were the rent bills. I know how much rent is. My mom has been pinching every penny to pay the $455 a month. The rent bills on Miss
Marna’s
desk for this month read $495. Do you know how betrayed I feel? I bet Mr. Roberts wanted more money and Miss
Marna
just accepted it. What is it with women resigning themselves to be with losers like him?

I wasn’t hurt that Joey was angry about the rent increase. Been there, done that. Everyone got angry without listening to the facts. What I didn’t get was the way he was portraying my father as some monster. My father never put a hand on my mother. I was starting to worry that what happened to Joey when he was younger was making him paranoid about domestic violence.

So, I’m walking through the hall with my teammates. Mario and I are walking in front with three other players following and I see this girl at her locker. Instantly I know who she is. I’m sure I looked like an idiot, standing there staring at her. Claude,
Niko
, and Cesar bumped into me and Mario had to back track because I was standing stupidly in the middle of the hall. I knew it was Miss
Marna’s
daughter. It was weird that they looked so alike, but different. The way Elaine was dressed caught me off guard too.
The shined military boots, and the snug vest, and the glasses.
It’s not that I didn’t like what she was wearing. I just wasn’t expecting her to look the way she looked. Now I’m sounding vaguely sexist or something. I mean, it was just refreshing. All the girls dressed basically the same around here. I wasn’t sure what to say. “Hi. You don’t know me, but I know your mom” didn’t seem like a good conversation starter.

Cesar put in his two cents before I could say something awkward. “Laney, what the heck are you wearing? Who are you, G.I. Jane or something?” They laughed. She turned from her locker to face us, nodded at me and Mario and gave the other guys a sneer. She doles out some insults in Spanish that I couldn’t interpret. She must speak it fluently. That’s pretty cool.
Cesar answers, “Now, Laney.
If you like, you could see for yourself that all of us are actually quite well endowed.” She retorts, “I am deeply concerned that you would know that. Keep your eyes straight forward in the locker room. Okay Cesar? You’re making your bros uncomfortable.”

The guys laugh and make some gay jokes about Cesar. I watch a smile light up her face and she tells us “Bye boys” and walks away to class. In Earth Science class I ask Mario about her. He told me that everyone was cool with her in middle school but she’s acting different these days, wearing weird stuff and disowning her friends. He said that it all coincided with her uncle recently giving ownership of
Merjoy
to her dad. I thought the Roberts had always owned it. That would explain why Mr. Roberts was acting so entitled. I told Mario what I knew about the rent going up. He got quiet and turned his attention back to the teacher. I wanted to warn him, so he and his family could prepare for it.

Nausea seizes my stomach. It was Joey who had opened his mouth and told people before we could explain that the rent increase was not my family’s attempt to get rich. We had to do it to save
Merjoy
Trailer Park from going under. I sit with the journal balanced on my lap and stare at the floor. I’m upset. By the end of that day, everyone in town had heard about it and the next day the vilification of my family began. I don’t want to read any further, but I don’t want to hate Joey either. Something tells me to keep reading. It would be unfair not to listen to the whole story.

I cannot believe I broke Elaine’s glasses. I am such an idiot! An oaf! If she had asked me to chew and swallow the broken glass, I would have. I swear I just want her to kick me in the shin with her steel toed boots or something. As if I haven’t screwed up her life enough, I go and destroy her stuff. I should have kept my mouth shut. I added a few more days of hell to their lives. Everyone would have found out about it when the bill got sent out next week. I had to open my mouth and start the snowball rolling before the Roberts could prepare
themselves
. I’m going to try my best to stop this. I don’t know how, but it will end.

------

Elaine is in my English class now. I guess she wasn’t enjoying herself in the other class. She’s intelligent. She answers a lot of the teacher’s questions. And she’s strong. All the Park Kids in class were throwing daggers at her with their eyes and calling her names under their breath.
Guilty.
That word does not describe how crappy I feel. I want to tell her and her family that I’m sorry but I know it won’t fix anything.

------

Insufficient

aren’t
words.

none
.

she’s
more than

thesaurus
shortcomings

or
failing

language
.

Can’t describe

her
______ skin.

See!

Her skin is like _____

so
smooth and _____.

Dammit! She is not

a
god forsaken

cut
of burnished wood or

dried
oily seed of a fruit

nor

caffeinated
cafe beverage.

If you saw her you would see

that
her skin is...

She is not a rich candy bar!

She is not a wall paint tone…

What am I saying?

How could I be so obnoxious?

So fixated on her skin?

I swear

that
is not all that I see!

I see her talent, strength,

and
wit, but

when
my
boymind
drools, enamored,

all
I see is

allspice
.

Earthy sweet,

wise
sultry brown.

------

I finally have a solution. The idea came to me out of necessity. These idiots have gone too far disrespecting the Roberts family. I’m going to give them something to really hate. Tonight is the
Chupasangres
’ first game of the season. There is good money riding on us winning against The Warriors. I’ve found out what a lot of these guys truly care about. They want their bets to pay off and pride in their teams. I let the important people know that if they don’t do exactly what I ask, star rookie Joey Kinsley is going to have a real bad “twisted ankle” in the first half that’ll put him out of the entire game.

------

Things are nice and quiet at school now. No one wrote names on lockers, no one threw any spitballs, no one invaded anyone’s private property, and no one made any snide remarks.

------

I noticed that Elaine doesn’t talk with much of anyone anymore. If someone talks to her she’ll make a joke and end the conversation at that. I’m really curious about what she writes. We have the same taste in literature, from what I know, so I wanted to work with her on an English project or something. I tried to bring up the subject with her but she’s incredibly good at brushing people off. I guess I’ll try again next time.

------

If she thinks for one moment that I don’t know what he’s doing to her she must think me a fool. She keeps telling me to calm down about it, that she’s okay. I respect this person a lot. She’s like a godmother to me. I respect her wish to keep the issue away from her children. I care about her family, so I’m torn. I want the guy locked up but I want her family to be happy.

------

I don’t like feeling this way. I would prefer the part of my brain responsible for having a crush on someone be removed. Aren’t crushes supposed to wear off? There’s supposed to be that time where you look at the person and think, “Holy crap! What was I thinking?” I would really like to fast forward to then.

Chupasangres
are still
undefeated
.

------

I asked Elaine to partner up with me on the English project. Again, I got nothing. I guess she still hates me. That’s understandable.