Arizona Skies: The Muse (10 page)

We were going to perform songs I had written, and I needed her there as my focal point. I introduced each band member before starting the first song. The second song was a ballad I wrote back in high school when a cheerleader broke my heart. She left me for the
captain of the football team. He was a big jock, and I was a scrawny teenager that played the guitar. Scott and I were both scrawny, so after that, we started lifting weights, which kept me from being depressed. That whole year we worked out, lifting and running to get into shape. I got my revenge though, because when I started singing in the band, all the girls were after me, and she was eating her heart out. That was when I became a man whore, not caring about the feelings of the girls I dated. Love ’em and leave ’em was my motto, and I was damn good at it.

I realized that girls were all too anxious to date me. I didn’t have to try anymore; they came to me with open arms and open legs. I grew my hair longer, getting a shaggy haircut and wearing tight shirts to show off my abs. Scott and I were scoring more than the jocks on the field. As we became more popular, we were invited to all the parties. All the girls wanted us. It was fun, and I started writing songs like crazy, enjoying my life as a rock star. My wise father would leash me in every summer, making me work for his company to keep me out of trouble—very smart of him, because I was getting way too cocky.

Scott’s mother talked us into performing in a talent contest in school, and that was where John discovered us. I remembered John from high school; he was a couple years ahead of Scott and me. He was a jock who also had a band. He was a good-looking dude and always had a chick on his arm. Keith was quiet; I didn’t remember him, but I knew he was a guitarist in John’s band. Keith graduated at the top his class; he was very intelligent and quiet and calm, just what the band needed. Two of John’s band members his lead singer and guitarist went off to college, so he came to the talent show looking for replacements. He was impressed and asked me to be the lead singer in his band, I was thrilled. Scott and I were welcomed with open arms, and the rest is history. Now we were a popular band in Arizona. But as the years went by, the thrill of loose women and booze lost its attraction, and I lost my focus. I still got up on stage and performed, but my life felt empty.

I sat on my stool and sang “Broken,” my song of lost love. It had always been very cathartic to write my feelings down in a song.

I had to close my eyes to reach deep inside to remember how I felt when I wrote the lyrics. It always took me back to high school and how devastated I felt back then. I looked up at the end of the song to see Bailey crying. It ripped my heart out to see her in tears. I walked back to John, telling him I wanted to pick up the tempo and sing “Crazy Love.” He nodded and started the intro as the band joined in with the chorus.

I told the audience we’d be cutting an album when we got home and that the songs we sang tonight were going to be on it. I needed to see her smile again, so I danced around to the beat as I started to sing the song. Scott and Keith were singing the chorus about one of my crazy love experiences. It was fast and always got Scott motivated to do his wild dancing moves behind me. I knew it would get Bailey, Shelly, and Liza laughing. When I looked at Bailey, she was smiling and clapping her hands to the beat—mission accomplished.

I was writing a song about her, and the guys had promised to help me get it ready to perform before the cruise was over. Actually, I had several notes for songs about her, but one in particular I wanted her to hear. I wanted to surprise her and let her know how I felt about her while she was still there with me. We went through some of our original songs. The audience was up on their feet. I loved to see everyone dancing and clapping to our music. This was what I enjoyed, and I was excited to make a living doing this for the rest of my life, hopefully with the woman I loved by my side.

We ended our set with cheering and screaming. I jumped down from the stage, looking for Bailey. Shelly said she went to the bathroom, so I waited in the hallway for her, worried out of my mind. I saw those tears in her eyes when I sang Broken, I was worried that she was going to walk away from me.. When she came out with her red eyes, I reached for her and to my surprise she let me hold her. My heart was beating so fast as I asked her what was wrong.

“Why are you crying?”

She told me that my song made her cry. Blowing out a breath of relief, I took her hand to walk back to our table, which was surrounded by women. When we stepped into the room, they rushed me, trying to separate me from her. I held her hand tight, not wanting to let her go. I was used to this, but she was not. She tried to pull away, but I locked my grip on her hand.

I smiled, appreciating all the compliments from the women. I couldn’t see Bailey but kept a tight grip on her hand. Finally, the crowd started to leave, and I pulled her to my chest, needing her close. Thirsty, I grabbed the beer the waitress handed me with a sexy smile, ignoring her as I took a drink. Bailey nestled into my chest. I knew she was intimidated by all the attention I got, so I tried in my own way to reassure her that I was with her and nobody else.

I wanted her desperately, but Scott had informed me earlier that she was a virgin. I was shocked.

“What!” I’d said, pacing back and forth with that bomb he’d just dropped on me. “I can’t believe it, this can’t be true.”

“Yep, Shelly gave up the goods last night after I fucked her senseless,” he chuckled.

“I can’t fucking believe it. She’s sweet and shy, yeah. But a virgin! What the fuck am I going to do now?” I said, frustrated as hell.

“Um, dude, take it slow…or maybe get her drunk…or…”

“Shut the hell up, Scott,” I snarled at him.

“Hey, don’t take it out on me. I thought it was important that you know that little bit of information, man,” he said, looking bewildered at my outburst.

“Yeah, I guess I’m glad you told me. Scotty, sorry I yelled at you. I just never in a million years figured she was that pure. I fucking don’t know how to handle this situation,” I said, sitting on my bed with my head in my hands. “What the fuck!”

“She likes you man, even Shelly said she’s talking about you all the time. Give her a chance to get to know you better, you know take your time,” Scott smiled.

“I have a fucking hard-on every time I’m near her. I can hardly hold it together as it is. Now I’m afraid I’ll fucking scare her away! She’s pure Scott don’t you get that? Damn I don’t know how to handle someone like her. I’ve never
…
ever
…
been in this situation before. I always go for the women with experience, I don’t want to be someone’s first! But the feelings she brings out in me, I can’t fucking resist her. I don’t want to walk away from her, she has this hold over me I can’t explain.”

“Um…well man, you could give yourself a hand job before you meet up with her, take the edge off,” Scott said, trying to help.

“Yeah, and as soon as I lay eyes on that body, I’ll be stiff as a board again,” I sighed.

“Yeah, I saw her body today. Man, she’s every man’s wet dream,” he said. I glared up at him as he squirmed. “Just sayin,” he smirked.

“Not helping, man. I’m way out of my element here.”

“Just take it slow, let her trust you first,” he said.

“Yeah like you did with her friend,” I chuckled.

“Well I wasn’t her first,” he smirked.

“Obviously, you should have seen Bailey blush when you two went at it that first night,” I told him. “I should have known it then, all the signs were there, but I just figured she was shy, not completely innocent. I never even considered that she was a fucking virgin!”

“Sorry man,” Scott said putting his hair behind his ears as he watched me try to come to terms with that little tidbit about Bailey.

“Fuck it, I’ll just have to walk around with blue balls,” I said. It was difficult, because her body was smoking hot.

“Well, somebody’s got to do it, man; might as well be you,” he smirked. I looked up at him, and the smile disappeared off his face.

“You’re right, I can do this Scott. I can be tender and gentle with someone as sweet as her,” I said trying to convince myself.
I’m certainly having a lot of firsts with this girl
, I thought.

Five

Bailey

I
didn't hear any noise coming from shelly's room and wondered if she had made it back. I Knocked on her door jut to make sure, but she didn’t answer. I went to my room and crashed, falling into a restless sleep, dreaming about Jesse and all those women clawing at him. The next morning I was startled awake by pounding on my door. Bolting out of bed, I opened my door to Shelly pushing her way in and flopping down on my bed.

“Good morning,” I said, stretching and yawning.

“Bails, we’re dating rock stars,” she grinned.

“I know. Where have you been?” I asked.

“I spent the night in Scott’s room,” she said, patting the empty place on the bed for me to join her.

“Oh, OK,” I said as I crawled in next to her.

“This trip is turning out better than I ever imagined,” she said, rolling to her side to face me as she propped her head up with her hand.

“I’m so glad we did this; I’m having a ball. But I dread to think about leaving when the cruise is done,” I said.

“I know, but let’s not focus on that right now. Let’s go to the spa and get spoiled today.” She had way too much energy this early in the morning.

“That sounds nice. Jesse and I are spending the afternoon together,” I said, sitting up.

“Scott said he wants to see a movie. This morning they’re working on a new song Jesse wrote. Scott said he’s been writing like a madman ever since he met you,” she grinned.

“Really! He hasn’t said anything to me,” I said, surprised.

“Apparently you’re his inspiration. The guys are thrilled he’s writing songs again—I guess he’s had a very long dry spell.”

“That’s so sweet. Jesse was amazing last night, wasn’t he?” I said, swooning as I stretched back out on the bed.

“Yes, he was; the whole band was amazing,” she said, lying back on the pillow next to me.

“Scott is a very talented musician.”

“He told me he plays six instruments; his whole family is very musical. His mother is a music teacher.”

“It was fun to watch him up on the stage, jumping around.” I chuckled at the memory.

“He’s so funny. He really gets into the music,” she laughed.

“They’re a great bunch of guys; I enjoy hanging out with them,” I admitted.

“Yep, Bails, I guess we just officially became groupies,” she laughed. “Scott told me he was shocked that Jesse hadn’t taken you to bed yet—usually he’s the first one to get laid. But I explained that you’re a virgin, and then he respected the fact that Jess was taking his time with you.”

“
What?
Oh my God…Shelly, you didn’t! I’m so…embarrassed! You told him I’m still a virgin,” I flew off the bed in shock. My best friend gave up my most intimate secret, just like that. “Damn it that explains why Jesse has been treating me with kid gloves. Scott must have told him after you blabbed your big mouth,” I said, mortified, remembering how fast he had left me last night. “I can’t believe you did that!”

“Scott was impressed that you’re still pure. He said Jesse cares about you too much to push you too fast. He’s afraid he’ll chase you away. Isn’t that sweet? He really cares about you, Bailey! Come on,
get dressed; let’s get beautiful.” She sat up and looked at me. Just like that, our conversation was over. She dismissed the subject like it was nothing and was on to something else. I was still processing what she had just said, angry at her for revealing my private secret to her boyfriend. She brushed it aside like I wasn’t supposed to be upset.

“I need a shower,” I said, stomping into the bathroom and slamming the door a little harder than I’d intended. How was I going to face him? I was positive that Scott had told him; that explained everything. “Why was my virginity so damn important to Shelly that she had to tell everyone?” I said, pacing. Oh my God, I’m so embarrassed. A man like Jesse has got to be so experienced and I’m not, how could my best friend do that. I took a deep breath to calm my frayed nerves. I wanted to ring her neck, but I knew she didn’t do it maliciously. I took a quick shower, putting on minimal makeup and my hair into a ponytail.
She’s my best friend
, I told myself as I opened the door with a forced smile. She looked up at me with a sheepish smile, I knew she felt bad, but damn her. She took my hand and led me out my door to hit the spa for a seaweed wrap, waxing, massage, and facials.

As we relaxed in the whirlpool, I felt refreshed, pampered, and polished. I had to let this go and just deal with it.

“That was fun,” I said as we walked back to our rooms to change so I could meet Jesse at noon for lunch. I put on white shorts and a little blue tank with a ruffle at the bottom, revealing just a little midriff. My hair had been washed and scented with this exotic conditioner, so I left it down. I had to suck up my courage and put on a brave face—after all, I had nothing to be ashamed of; I should be proud of my virginity!

When I opened my door, Shelly was standing there ready to knock. “Damn it, Shelly,” I said, jumping back. I swear she has super hearing powers. She was dressed in tan shorts with a short top that tied with strings, showing off her bare back. She was in high spirits, as usual, and chattered my head off as we walked up the stairs. I didn’t say much, just listened to her as we walked.

“Bails, you’re not mad at me, are you? I didn’t mean to let your secret out; blame it on the wine,” she chuckled. I could certainly understand that. “When Scott mentioned Jesse’s past, the words just slipped out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying. I’m really sorry,” she said, looking contrite.

“Well, I’ll admit I was mad and wanted to kill you. But I guess I’ll have to forgive you since you didn’t do it intentionally,” I shrugged.

“You know this is your chance, he’s incredibly hot Bailey and he’s into you girlfriend,” she said.