Arizona Skies: The Muse (8 page)

“You okay? She asked reaching for my hand.

“Yeah, no, maybe…I just don’t know I’m in shock,” I said.

Jesse

O
ur practice went well, and we were ready to rock the house tonight. I got ready to meet Bailey and spend the afternoon with her. But I wasn’t prepared for the vision in turquoise that opened her door. Her hair was up in a ponytail, revealing her long neck and slender shoulders. She was so stunning that I stood there with my mouth open, unable to speak. “Wow,” was all I said as she stepped aside and let me into her room. I didn’t want to take her out in public and once again had to fight back the urge to keep her all to myself. She gathered her stuff, and I instinctively reached for her hand to lead the way to the pool.

Scott sauntered toward Shelly’s door just as that little blonde flew out, scaring the shit out of all of us. Scott snickered at our startled faces and took the little bombshell’s hand to lead her away while she talked a mile a minute.
What planet was she from, anyway
? I thought chuckling to myself. I was glad I’d been attracted to the quiet one.

We pulled out a couple lounge chairs for us. Scott and Shelly pulled up alongside of us, with Keith and Liza joining us. John sat by himself with his book. Bailey took off this long, flowery cover-up thing, and all my breath left my body. I stood there stunned, looking at the most gorgeous body I’d ever seen. Ever! I immediately got a hard-on, putting my towel in front of me to cover it up. This woman was too good to be true.

I couldn’t catch my breath as I offered to put lotion on her back just so I could touch her. As I stroked her flawless skin, my mind was doing everything to this woman’s body that I wouldn’t let my body do. I rubbed every inch of her exposed skin, closing my eyes and fantasizing her in my bed surrendering that body to me. I couldn’t stop myself and lost all comprehension of time. I was beyond inspired by this girl. I didn’t know how long I was lost in my fantasy as my fingers
slowly glided over her tanned body, touching every spot more than once just to feel her silky skin.

Finally I heard her voice and looked down into her brown eyes. I had such a hard-on I had to sit down quickly before she saw it. I shook my head, trying to regain my composure but failing miserably. My body was firing on all pistons. I was ready to take this girl to my room and have my way with her—hell, I’d even contemplated pulling her back into the shadow of the cabana and just getting it over with. But then she offered to put lotion on me.
Oh God, yes
, I thought as I rolled over on my stomach to hide my arousal. I was about to explode right there in front of everyone. Her hands on my back felt like heaven. I was in so much trouble with this girl.

As I laid there, all these emotions swirled around in my head. Her hands on my naked skin felt like nothing I’d ever experienced before. My mind was on overload, and suddenly I started feeling that maybe I wasn’t worthy of her. All those X-rated thoughts I’d had of her when my hands were on her body suddenly made me feel dirty. Another new experience for me—I’d never felt that way before. I didn’t have to have X-rated thoughts; I did whatever I wanted with whatever woman I was with. I had what they wanted, and I gave it to them, however I was feeling that night. But now the roles were reversed; she had what I wanted, and I didn’t feel I was good enough to take it. She was my inspiration, my muse!

I lay there letting all these mixed emotions swirl around in my head. I knew she had fallen asleep and took the opportunity to stare at her. She was as pure as the driven snow, and I wasn’t! She was so beautiful inside and out, but she didn’t even realize it. I saw the men watching her when she took off that cover-up. Men all around us were eye fucking her. My past experience was that beautiful women usually were self-centered and cold; she was the exact opposite.

I wanted her in my world, whether I deserved her or not. I decided right then that I didn’t want any lies between us. I’d made my mind up to have her come tonight and watch us perform so she
could decide if she still wanted to see me. My guilt was eating me alive, and I had to come clean; if I had a relationship with her, I wanted it to be an honest one. I realized I was falling for her, and it scared the hell out of me!

I let her sleep for a while but didn’t want her to get burned. Finally I gently shook her shoulder to wake her up, suggesting that we swim to cool off. As we walked toward the pool, all eyes were following her; she never even noticed. Damn, girl, where did you come from?

The water was cooling and felt great. We played and talked, and I took the opportunity to wrap her around me as much as possible, careful to keep her away from my very anxious cock. I was enjoying every minute with her as we laughed and talked. It was a fantastic afternoon, but all too soon it ended.

John gave me the signal that it was time to go. I reluctantly left her in the pool with her friends and walked away without an explanation, knowing in a couple hours I’d see her for dinner. We double-checked all our equipment and did one last sound check and went over the lighting and playlist with the stage crew. We were ready, and for the first time in years, I was nervous.

I waited at the front of the restaurant for Bailey like I did last night. When she walked in, my jaw dropped, and I lost my focus. She had on a stunning blue dress with her long hair cascading in curls down her back. Every man in the restaurant turned to stare at her sexy body as she gracefully walked across the floor and stopped in front of me. I couldn’t believe that she didn’t have a boyfriend. She was stunning! I didn’t even notice the other two girls; I only saw her.

I couldn’t help myself; I swept her up in my arms, claiming her so that every man in the room knew she was with me. I had missed her and needed to feel her incredible body next to mine. I took her hand, and we walked over to the table that John was holding for us. She seemed more relaxed tonight, not pulling away from me like she did before. I hoped I wasn’t scaring her anymore. She fit right in
with the guys, and I appreciated that they all were respectful toward her. They knew she’d inspired my creative side, and because of her, I was composing songs again.

I knew we had to leave right after dinner, but I didn’t say anything to her until it was time to go. I was nervous but wanted her there tonight. I confessed to John that I wanted to come clean with her; she was too important. He wasn’t surprised; he’d been watching us closely, enjoying me finally finding a woman I actually wanted to spend time with and couldn’t stand to be away from. He hadn’t harassed me like the other two had. We had this unspoken connection; he seemed to know what I was feeling, and he was there if I needed to talk. He and Scott were my best friends. I appreciated his support, even though I’d acted like an asshole most of the time. Somehow he seemed to understand and never held it against me.

After dinner John gave the signal that it was time to leave. It was now or never. I took a deep breath and asked Bailey to meet me in the Green Room. I didn’t explain anything as I got up and walked away. She looked confused but agreed. I had my fingers crossed as we walked out that door.

When we got to the Green Room I described her and her two friends to the hostess. We went on stage to get tuned up and ready for the show. The hostess put a reserved sign on the table right in front of the stage. She had been flirting with me every time I’d been in there, so she was anxious to do as I asked. I think she secretly hoped this was her chance to get into my bed. She rubbed her body against mine and whispered in my ear, “anything for you, darlin’.” I just smiled and walked away, something new for me.

We warmed up and went over the song list one more time. The curtain came down while we drank our beer and waited for eight o’clock. I was excited and nervous about how Bailey was going to react when she saw me performing. I was afraid she was going to freak out and run without giving me a chance. I wanted a chance to show her I’m not a lying asshole; I had my reasons. It was obvious that she
liked me, and I sure as hell liked her. I desperately wanted to come clean, let her experience this side of me. Besides, what better way to sing a love song than while looking at a beautiful woman?

It was getting loud in the room, and my nerves were getting the best of me. John came over to talk to me as I paced back and forth tapping my fingers on my guitar. I didn’t realize my nervousness was that obvious?

“Jess, you OK, man?” he asked, slapping my shoulder.

“Yeah, man, I just hope I haven’t made a big mistake,” I said, pacing.

“Give her some credit; It’s obvious she likes you and I know how you feel about her. She’s going to be fine; if not, she’s not the one for you,” John said.

“I just hope you’re right,” I said, furiously tapping on my guitar. I set my guitar down and grabbed the microphone.

“Besides, it does my heart good to see you nervous for a change,” he chuckled.

“Very fucking funny! I don’t want to screw this up; she’s important to me,” I said, lashing out at him.

“I get it, Jess; I do. Just be yourself and pour on the charisma,” he said with a wink as he went to sit behind his drums.

The stage lights came on, and the clapping started as the announcer took the stage. It was show time. I quickly turned my back to the audience as the curtain went up to say a little prayer. Usually I start the band off, but my hands were shaking, I’d be lucky if I could hang onto the microphone without dropping it. I looked up to John for help, He understood and hit his drumsticks together to signal the start of the first song and nodded at me. I took a deep breath and turned around to walk to the front of the stage with my microphone locked in my sweaty hands.

I was too afraid to look at her as I started singing, keeping time to the beat with my leg. I started to walk back and forth across the stage; that always helped keep my mind off the crowd.

Finally I found the courage to glance her way. She was sitting there with her hand over her mouth; eyes wide open, watching me with a stunned look on her face.
Oh shit, I’ve blown it!

“What the fuck do I do?” I said under my breath as the song ended. I looked back up, and she was still there; she hadn’t left yet. “Whew.”

I calmed down somewhat and concentrated on the words of the next song. The audience was up on their feet, clapping and moving their bodies as I sang the Journey song. The acoustics in the room were very good, not a lot of echoing, and I felt myself starting to relax as I concentrated on the song.

I hadn’t gotten nervous on stage since my high-school talent show. Performing came naturally to me. I never forgot a word or missed a beat.

I turned away from her and started walking back across the stage. I glanced back at Scott, who was doing his usual jumping around as he played the guitar and sang backup. His voice was higher pitched than mine, and our voices blended together perfectly. He was a very talented musician and winked at me as I sang.

We’d been good friends since grade school. He and his mother were responsible for getting me to start singing. He taught me how to play the guitar in fifth grade, and one day while we were messing around at his house, I started singing this song. His mother was upstairs cleaning and heard me. When I finished, she was standing in his bedroom doorway clapping her hands.

“Jesse, you have a lovely voice,” she said, smiling at me. I was young and was embarrassed. She put her arm around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze. “Would you like me to help you train your voice? You’ve got this natural, raspy tone that sounds incredible.”

“Would you? I’d like that,” I said, soaking up every ounce of attention she was showering on me. I loved to hang at his house; his parents were both musical, and we’d jam all the time. I learned a lot from him and his mother, who gave me singing lessons until I was,
pitch perfect. She was kind and patient with me, praising me all the time. My father thought singing was a huge waste of my time and that I’d never make a living at it. So of course I soaked up as much attention from the Miller family as I could get.

I turned back to look and see if Bailey was still there. She was smiling up at me—what a relief!

I smiled back and winked at her, continuing to sing my heart out to what appeared to be a very appreciative crowd. When the song ended, I looked up at John. He had raised eyebrows and a wide grin on his face. I knew he was pleased with our reception. He nodded toward Bailey and hit his drumsticks together, starting the intro to our next song.

He was right; she didn’t run. I was extremely happy.

Four

Bailey

J
esse looked so comfortable up there on that stage, occasionally looking out into the audience with a sexy grin. I was mesmerized by how amazing he was; they all were.

After the older songs they switched to some modern music, “Love Don’t Die,” by the Fray, and “Troublemaker,” by Olly Murs. I was stunned; they were incredible. If I had known what Jesse did, I’m pretty sure I probably never would have gone out with him. I’d heard about rock bands and their crazy lifestyles; that life wasn’t for me.