Arizona Skies: The Muse (34 page)

“I love you, Bailey,” he said, smiling at me.

“Will you tell me that every day when you’re gone?” I asked.

“Of course I will, every day, sweetheart,” he said, folding me into his arms.

“I’ll miss your voice talking and singing to me,” I said.

“I’ll sing you to sleep every night; how would that be?” he asked.

“I’d love that,” I said, committing his handsome face to memory. I was sure I’d never look at another man the way I looked at him. Never!

We walked around the ship checking out the shops. Jesse wanted to spend money on me, but I wouldn’t let him. He was very generous, always trying to spoil me. I didn’t need anything, just him. We went into the casino for a while, but nobody seemed to be interested in gambling. We just wanted to be together. Keith and Liza disappeared; she was upset about the cruise ending. Keith was a nice guy, and I hoped she wasn’t playing him, but she did truly look upset.

We walked into the gym, remembering our afternoon working out and how I had surprised Jesse. He laughed at how fit I was, thinking he was going to teach me about each machine and how it worked. Mr. Atlas was at the smoothie bar watching us; he lifted his glass and winked at me as we passed by. Jesse growled like a caveman and held me close to him. I had to chuckle but loved every minute of it. He claimed me and wanted everyone to know I belonged to him.

We finally settled in some lounge chairs under the cabana to block out the sun. Jesse held me tight; I could hear his heart beating.

“You want to go back to your room?” he asked after the chatter died down. “I want some time alone with you before we have to head off to practice,” he whispered.

“OK,” I said, feeling the same way.

“Man, I’ll see you at two o’clock; we’ve got some talking to do after practice,” Jesse said to Scott.

Scott’s eyebrows shot up. “All right, man, see yah,” he said, watching us walk away.

“What was that all about?” Shelly asked.

“Damned if I know,” Scott said.

This was going to be one of the last times we would make this trip down the stairs to my door. I was feeling sad, and I think Jesse was too. He let me into the room, taking me into his arms as he kicked the door shut behind him. He kissed me hard, holding me so tight I could hardly breathe.

“Honey, I’m so sorry about this morning; I want to make it up to you,” he said, putting my purse on the chair and pulling my tank over my head. “Makeup sex!” he smiled.

“It’s forgotten; Jesse, but you can make love to me. You don’t need an excuse for that,” I said.

“Good, because right now all I need is the feel of your body next to mine. I want to love you with all my heart and soul. I need you, Bailey,” he said, unhooking my bra and tossing it over his shoulder as he began kissing me. “I can’t get enough of you.”

He made quick work of my shorts and panties. Then, pulling his shirt over his head and taking off his jeans, he stood in front of me completely naked. I could see his need for me in his eyes and other places too. There was no better feeling in the world than when he loved me. I took his hand and led him to my bed. His sexy smile gave me the courage to pull him on top of me and take his mouth under siege. I wanted him desperately as I raked my nails down his back. He quickly took possession of my body, loving me so expertly.

“Bailey, you’re perfect for me in every way. Sex with you is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced; never doubt that. My body aches for you, sweetheart,” he said, gently stroking my hair. He slowly entered me, so carefully, as if he were worshipping my body. We were one with each other as we each moaned in unison. We were totally enraptured with each other, taking and giving so much love to each other. Jesse making love to me was so beautiful, memories I would always treasure.

“Jesse, you feel so good,” I whispered in his ear. I knew he liked to talk during sex, and I was becoming pretty good at encouraging him and letting him know what I liked. My very vocal lover responded by licking and lightly biting my nipples, which threw us both into a frenzy. I pulled him tight to me as he moved faster to bring me to the brink.

“Come with me, Bailey,” he whispered as he ground his pelvis into me, pushing us both over the edge. He held me as I gasped, falling into a powerful orgasm that racked my body with spasms. “Perfect,” he muttered as I opened my eyes to see he was staring at me as I held him tight.

“You wanna lighten the grip, honey?” he said with a smile and a sweet kiss. “I can’t breathe.”

Jesse

I
just wanted to spend the day with Bailey; I didn’t care what we did. After a very emotional morning, I wanted to reassure her that she was the girl for me. Shelly had almost ruined it; I was panicky when she called me. I wanted to slap the shit out of my best friend for being so damn honest with his girlfriend.

After I got her calmed down and we enjoyed a nice breakfast, I wanted to take her back to bed. But I knew it was too soon after she
learned one of my many dirty little secrets. I clung to her hand like a lost little boy; she was my everything, and I needed that connection to let me know that everything between us was going to be OK.

Scott gave Shelly a ring today; I was with him when he picked it out. Bailey wore my heart around her neck, and promise rings were not my style. But it was a sweet gesture on his part, and the meaning behind that ring was not lost on me. I knew he’d fallen in love with that little blond. God help him; she was going to be a handful.

I’d warned him I was pissed at him and was going to let him know how badly his big mouth had almost fucked up my life later, after our practice. He seemed to be completely oblivious to what was going on.

I wanted to spend money on Bailey, but she wouldn’t let me. I knew she struggled working full time and going to school at night. This trip must have wiped out her savings. I wished I could help her somehow. I wasn’t hurting for money; my father had left us all well off. I’d never had a woman refuse to let me spend money on her before—Bailey was truly one of a kind. We walked and talked, reliving the past five days of our cruise. Finally, I convinced her that we needed some alone time. We walked back to her room, where I made short work of her clothing, stripping her naked. She reciprocated by stripping me naked too. We both stared at each other, needing our bodies as close as possible as we came together like puzzle pieces. Her soft body conformed to my hard body like we were made for each other.

I’d always been a very vocal lover, telling my partner just want I wanted. Most words out of my mouth were laced with profanity and very demanding.

Bailey was different; I knew she was relying on me for instruction and needed encouragement because of her inexperience. She was so trusting, and the fact that she had chosen me to be her first had just blown my mind. I had never spoken soft, tender words of love. She brought that out in me, and those words transcended onto
paper as I wrote love songs. Words just flowed out of me, and when I read them back, it felt like I was possessed.

“
Where the fuck did all these feelings come from
?” I thought when I read my words. This totally beautiful, innocent girl had changed me so profoundly that I hardly recognized myself anymore.

John was totally enjoying watching my transformation. He stood in my room reading some of my new lyrics with his mouth wide open in shock.

“Jesse, these are amazing,” he said, looking up at me. “Keep it up, man; it’s about fucking time you wrote something worth reading.” He patted my back.

“Thanks, man,” I said, watching him read every word on those pieces of paper—words that came straight from my heart.

“Welcome back. When I see that little beauty of yours, I’m giving her a big hug,” he said, smiling.

“You keep your meat hooks off my girl,” I growled.

“You got it, man; you finally got it,” he said, chuckling at my stern look. His appreciation of my writing meant the world to me. I knew he was happy for me, and I appreciated that he didn’t throw the “I told you so” in my face. It was understood, and now was my chance to thank him.

“Listen, man, I’m so sorry. I was a total asshole, and you stuck by me and believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. I know I’ve let you and all the guys down,” I said, looking up into his understanding face.

“Jess, I know; we’ve been through a lot together. I knew that you lost your way when your father died and how you struggled with the fast life I dropped in your lap. It was hard to stand by and watch you destroy your talent. I knew you resented me sometimes, but I’ve always believed in you, and now you’re proving to me that I wasn’t wrong! Keep up the good work. You go see your girl and give her a hug from me,” he said with a wink as he walked out my door.

Twenty

Bailey

A
fter Jesse made love to me that afternoon, he left me to rest while he went to practice. He wanted to surprise me with his new song, so I promised I wouldn’t come to watch him today. I knew he felt badly about hurting me with the news of his sex-capades, but I blamed my best friend for blurting it out the way she did. I was shocked and embarrassed; it made me feel inadequate that I’d be able to keep him happy in the bedroom. He went out of his way to reassure me that I was all he needed, and of course I wanted to believe him, honestly I needed to believe him.

I lay there for the longest time just going over the past five days in my head. I’d had the best experience of my life and was sure Shelly felt the same way. It was going to be hard to leave these fantastic guys tomorrow; I already missed Jesse, and he’d only been gone twenty minutes. It was tempting to follow him to Arizona. I could easily finish up my classes out there, but it would break my mother’s heart. I just couldn’t do that to my mother, my rock when I was growing up. I’d made a promise and I had to stick to it, even if it broke my heart.

She never got to finish college because she got pregnant with me, so this was very important to her. She never resented me for it, but she knew that it meant that I could always take care of myself, no matter what life threw at me. She worked so hard to provide for me, giving me the love that my dad never did. I never understood why he hated me so much. I tried to do everything to please him, but
nothing was ever good enough. He gave my sister everything her little heart desired, spoiling her rotten. He never even acknowledged any of my accomplishments, just showered his little princess with his love. I couldn’t get out of that house fast enough. I felt guilty for leaving my mother alone with those two, but I had to look out for myself.

My mother was a beautiful woman. I was sure that there was a man out there that would have loved her and me. But she made a vow, and that was sacred to her, so she stuck it out with grace and dignity, never letting them get to her, always leaving our house to go to work looking her best. Everyone she worked with loved and respected her. Shelly’s dad would invite her to their house for dinner when I stayed the night, but she never accepted. My dad told her that Charles Wellington was his boss, and it wasn’t right. He forbade her to go inside their house; she’d just drop me off and leave.

Thank God I had Shelly; she and her father took me places with them. They gave me birthday parties and presents. I always felt welcome and loved by them. Shelly’s mother was a little standoffish, but she wasn’t around that much. Shelly was close with her father, and he made it perfectly clear he cared about me. He used to tell me I was as beautiful as my mother and that my father was a damn fool to treat us so badly. He could never convince my mother to come inside his house; they had been friends in high school, and I think he secretly had a crush on her. He would always go out to the car and talk with her for a few minutes before she’d drive away. I asked her one time about him, but she just said he was always a nice guy and walked away.

I got up and took a leisurely shower, soaking away my insecurities and thinking about my boyfriend. Tonight I was going to get to see him perform again. I couldn’t wait. I liked to watch him strut across the stage singing his heart out, and I knew I’d never get tired of watching him. That soulful, breathless voice when he sang a love song was every woman’s fantasy; even Shelly admitted he got her
panties wet. When he looked right at me and sang, it got to me every time. I choked up and tears started to run down my face with every word that crossed his lips.

I heard a lot of commotion next door and figured Shelly was just getting in. I heard her shower turn on. I pounded on the wall, a signal that I was in the shower too. She pounded back, which made me smile; she really was like a sister to me. I could tell her anything, and she never judged me. Probably because, God knew, she hadn’t been an angel. I was glad that she and Scott were together—best friends with best friends; you couldn’t ask for more than that.

I lathered on the spa lotion, smelling like orchids and coconuts. I was going to buy a couple bottles to take with me when I returned to cold, dark Philadelphia. I laid out my red dress and put on red satin underwear, hoping Shelly would appear to do my hair for tonight. I wanted to look extra special for Jesse. Just like clockwork, that familiar knock came on my door, and I answered it in my underwear.