ArousingMemories (13 page)

“Sorry, but I told you I’m going to fuck you. Don’t want you
coming too soon.”

Noah looked back at him with slits for eyes and a heaving
chest. “Do it now, please.”

Sev shook his head. “Not yet. I didn’t bring any lube, so
you’re going to have to slick me up with that sweet mouth of yours.”

“I don’t care.” Noah tried to lift his leg to give Sev
access to his ass. Sev held him down.

“I care. I don’t want to hurt you any more than you already
have been, so open up. Saliva’s not much, but it’s all we’ve got because I
can’t wait long enough to grab some lube from my room.” Sliding toward Noah’s
face, Sev pushed his cock down to mouth level. Noah lifted his head and sucked
him inside the moist cavern without hesitation.

Sev closed his eyes. His head dropped back as he savored
being laved by Noah’s eager tongue. His cock jerked at the touch. His balls
tightened higher into his body. Damn if he didn’t want to stay right there,
shoot his cum into Noah’s willing mouth. But that was not nearly as wonderful
as coming inside the man’s other hole. With reluctance, Sev pulled back. Noah
tried to stay with him, but the cock slid out of his mouth. It was nice and
slick from Noah’s efforts.

Sev moved enough to bring Noah’s legs up. “Hold them,” he
commanded the other man, and nodded when Noah clasped the back of his knees
with his hands. The small, tight ass was exposed to Sev’s gaze now. He knew it
well, knew what pleasure waited for him. The puckered brown hole winked in
invitation. There was work to do first though. Wetting his forefinger, Sev
traced the wrinkled skin before pressing against it. The finger went in easily,
found the walnut-sized bundle that brought pleasure to all men and rubbed
against it. Noah moaned and sighed. His ass was relaxed and ready for Sev.

He said as much. “Please, Sev, I’m ready for you.” Noah’s
voice was low and seductive. As seductive as any woman.

Clasping his cock with one hand, Sev lined it up with Noah’s
asshole. He spat a little extra moisture on it before pushing it inside. It was
not as easy as with the finger, but it went in. Inch by inch, Sev slid his
aching cock inside the tight passage. He wanted to thrust hard. It was agony
not to. Sweet agony. He moaned at the heat and pressure as he slid farther and
farther into the velvety moistness. He stopped when his balls hit Noah’s body.
He was all the way home.

Sev opened his eyes to gauge how his lover was doing. Noah’s
eyes were shut tight, his teeth clamped on his lower lip. His fingers dug into
the flesh behind his knees. “You all right, boy?” Sev choked out the question,
his body quivering with the effort to remain still.

Noah kept his eyes shut. “Fuck me, now!” he growled in
reply.

Sev smiled.
That’s my boy.
He rocked his hips back,
pulling his cock out. Noah’s muscles tightened around him, trying to keep him
from escaping. When the head of Sev’s cock was back to the spot just inside the
entrance, he pushed in again harder than before. Noah let out a long groan.
Grabbing Noah’s thigh with one hand for leverage, Sev pulled out and thrust again,
and again. His rhythm picked up to a faster, harder pace. He pounded into the
other man’s body. Noah took each thrust and his cock bounced with each hit. It
needed some attention too of course. Sev wrapped the fingers of his free hand
around the hard shaft and tugged the foreskin up and back with each thrust.

Both men grunted and groaned as their passion built. Sev’s
climax boiled up and out. His whole body sang with the promise of it. As the
first of his semen burst out of his cock and into Noah’s waiting core, warm cum
spilled onto his fingers. Noah’s cock pulsed through its orgasm. Sev’s cock did
the same. He squeezed Noah’s length hard the way Noah’s ass was squeezing him
dry. With a final cry, Sev stopped his thrusting. Pulling out of Noah, he collapsed
on top of the other man. No need to worry about his weight. Another man could
take it.

As he lay panting, the sounds of Noah’s heart beating hard
against Sev’s equally heaving chest, he thought,
If this doesn’t make him
remember, nothing will.

Chapter Eight

Haley hadn’t slept all night. After seeing the two kids
turned over to the local police, she had driven around the Boston area, trying
to check the most likely spots for an attack. It had been a waste of gas and
effort. There was nothing to see except happy people enjoying the beginning of
their three-day weekend. Everywhere she went, there were families and food and
music and just plain fun. Everywhere she went she pictured death and
destruction, mangled bodies and screams of agony. Even when she returned to
home base, she had sat in the communications center until dawn monitoring the
“chatter” on the sites they knew were frequented by the Sons. Nothing.

They’d gone to ground once they knew Noah and Jill were
plants. How they had figured it out was still a mystery. With the more urgent
matter of the imminent attack, there had been little time for her to spend
pondering what had gone wrong. There were others digging into the matter and
she itched to join them because it was personal. If there was a mole in their
organization, he or she had caused
Haley’s
people to be hurt and killed.
The idea of a traitor made her blood pressure climb higher. She was exhausted,
frustrated and downright angry with herself most of all. This was her mission,
her failure.

With a vague idea of checking on Noah in the vain hope that
something had changed with his memory, Haley rounded the hallway leading to his
room and saw Severin sauntering toward her. He was grinning, again, and that
made her simmer come to a boil. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t rational, but
seeing the clear evidence of how he had spent the night made her tear into him.

“Nice night, Sev?” she demanded when they were within a few
feet of each other.

No fool, Sev stopped short and his grin disappeared. “Nice enough,”
he hedged.

“I bet.” She stopped as well and folded her arms across her
chest. She was acting like a harridan, yet she couldn’t stop. It was all
suddenly too much. “Noah’s a pretty guy and a very good lay, wouldn’t you say?”

“Hey, now, Haley,” he chided.

She overrode him. “Did it work?” He grimaced at her. “Did
it?”

“No, it didn’t,” he spat out, his own anger finally showing
through. “The poor guy woke up gasping for air, shaken by a nightmare. Yet he
still doesn’t remember a goddamn thing.”

She closed her eyes briefly. She was disappointed, and not.
A part of her, a small nasty part of her was glad. That’s the part that took
control of her mouth. “I guess the sword isn’t mightier after all,” she
drawled, eyes pinned to him. “We’ve both failed. We’ve both been wasting what
little time we have fucking him instead of being out there finding these
assholes before they…” She stopped mid-sentence, appalled at her loss of
control and even more so because she suddenly saw past Severin and her own
frustration to notice Noah coming down the hall. His hands were jammed in the
front pockets of his jeans and his eyes were wide as he stared back at her.
“Noah,” she breathed.

Sev whipped around and stared at Noah, too. None of them
said anything as the other man came to stand before them. “Well,” the younger
man said, his eyes darting between the two of them. “I guess that explains a
bit.”

“Noah,” Sev started to say something, but was cut off.

“No.” Noah’s voice was firm. “I don’t want to hear anything
more from either of you. I’ve felt guilty these last several days. Guilty!” he
emphasized, the hurt and anger clear in his voice. “Not just because I couldn’t
remember anything important, but because I was taking up so much valuable time,
from both of you. I thought you were worried about me. I thought you cared
about me.”

“We do,” Haley managed to interject, and Sev nodded in
agreement.

Noah, however, merely shook his head in response. “You’ve
been trying to fuck my memories back, haven’t you?” His voice was getting louder.

Sev sighed and threaded his fingers through his own hair.
“That was the plan, yeah.”

Noah barked out a laugh. “God, what egos you both have to
think your touch was so magical.” Haley winced. When he put it like
that
.
“Did you even tell me the truth, either of you, when you said we’d been
lovers?”

Before Haley could reassure the poor guy, Sev beat her to
it. “Yes! You and Haley and you and I were both involved before this mission.
It was no lie, and that’s precisely why we thought it would work.”

“It was my idea originally,” Haley cut in. She didn’t want
Sev to take the blame for her boneheaded plan. “The doctor said just about
anything might trigger your memories and I thought sex might do the trick.” She
shrugged. What more was there to say? Plenty, apparently. Noah rolled his eyes.

“Your idea was your former lover and you should have—what—a
contest, to see who could make me remember first?”

“That part was my idea,” Sev replied. “I picked up on what
Haley was going to do and decided to give it a go myself. You want to be mad at
anyone, be mad at me.” Typical Sev, doing something nice when all she wanted
was to be furious at him.

“Don’t worry, I have enough anger to go around. Not that I
have a right to it,” he added. “I’m the fuck-up whose cover was blown. I’m the
one who can’t remember what’s necessary to save lives tomorrow.” And now he
sounded lost and vulnerable. Haley wanted to reach over and hug him. She didn’t
try it, though. She knew he would reject her, and with his next words, her
maternal instinct flew out of her. “On the other hand, you both have had less
than noble agendas. Maybe you told yourself you were trying to help me
remember, but even a guy without his memories can tell whatever was between you
two isn’t over. You’ve been dancing around each other for the last few days,
keeping me as the monkey in the middle.”

“That’s not true!” Haley spat out, appalled. She was not
using Noah as a way to get at Sev. She never wanted him to be involved in the
first place, although to be honest with herself, she didn’t exactly try hard to
stop him, either.

“She’s right,” Sev was quick to agree. “Haley and I are
finished.” They looked at each other in the eye. Haley could see uncertainty in
Sev’s gaze and feared he could see the same in her.

For sure Noah saw something. He scoffed. “Oh, for God’s
sake! I can see in your faces that you still love each other. I’ve been seeing
it for days without realizing exactly what it was. Is that what you think of
when you’re fucking me, when I’m in you and you’re in me, each other?” His
voice cracked in the end, and when Haley tore her gaze from Sev’s, she could
see tears forming in Noah’s eyes.

“Oh, Noah,” she cried.

Holding up his hands as if to fend her and Sev off, he said,
“No, don’t say anything. It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry, so very sorry, I can’t
remember. I hope you figure out what’s going to happen. I really do. Just don’t
count on me.” Backing up, he turned and ran down the hall away from them.

“Noah!” she called, and felt Sev’s hand on her arm.

“Let him go,” Sev said in a quiet voice. He didn’t feel
quiet or calm, but figured there was little point in venting the frustration
welling up inside. What a total screw-up! Not only did he feel bad for playing
Noah, noble intentions notwithstanding, but he also knew Noah was right. Part
of Sev’s decisions over the last few days were tied to his feelings for Haley.
While he had never fantasized about the woman when making love to Noah, a part
of him had felt connected to her nevertheless. It was time to let Haley know exactly
what he felt, not for Noah’s sake or the sake of the mission, but for him and
for her. They deserved the truth. Letting go of her arm, Sev took Haley’s chin
in his hand and turned her face toward him. She didn’t resist his touch, merely
looked back at him with sad, tired eyes. It broke his heart.

“Noah’s right,” he said keeping his gaze locked on hers.
“It’s not over between us, at least it’s not over for me.” When she started to
open her mouth, he quickly continued, afraid if he didn’t get the words out
now, he never would. “Losing you rocked me back on my heels in a way I never
thought would happen. Before you, love was an easy concept. I threw the word
around with other women and men without understanding what I was really saying.
I thought when you walked away I would get over it, get over you, and I’d
simply move on to the next person.”

He slid his hand up the side of her face, his fingers
threaded into her hair. “I was wrong. I had never before considered forever
with another person. I had with you, though, and it caught me by surprise. One
night I was picturing us in the future with the house and the two point five
kids, the whole nine yards. Then an image popped into my head of me home with
those kids while you were away on a mission. And instead of you coming home, I
answered the door and it was a couple of our people with sad looks on their
faces and saying things like ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ and you were dead and I
was alone trying to explain to our children why Mommy wasn’t coming home.”

His voice cracked. Just saying the words made the emotions
erupt as if it were really happening. Without thought, he pulled Haley to him
and hugged her tight. Amazingly, she didn’t fight his embrace. Instead she
wrapped her arms around him and hugged him back. It gave him the courage to
finish what he had to say. “I couldn’t tell you how I felt using the right
words. I know they came out wrong. They sounded as if I wanted you to knuckle
under to me as your husband or something. The logical part of my brain told me
you were too dedicated to your career to give it up even for me or our future
children. My baser instincts ran my mouth. I could only think in terms of
making you safe. I’m sorry, so sorry I pushed you away. The truth is I’m still
scared to death of hearing you’ve been killed. Breaking up hasn’t changed
anything.” He hesitated before going for broke. “I love you, Haley.”