Artificial Absolutes (Jane Colt Book 1) (32 page)

Jane buried her face in her hands and cried, shaking uncontrollably.

Devin wanted to embrace her and apologize. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was for what he’d done, wanted to beg her for forgiveness.

But he couldn’t.
She can’t be sorry when I’m dead.
“Crying won’t change anything.”

Jane looked up, her tearful eyes so hurt Devin had to look away for fear of losing his mask. “You wanted the truth, and there it is.”

“Stop trying to make me hate you. It won’t work. I can always tell when you’re lying.” She tried to smirk. “Little sis powers. I’m going to save you.”

Devin gave her a disdainful look. “You can’t save me. No one can save me. Even if I wasn’t on death row, you still couldn’t save me from who I am, from what I’ve done, and what I’d planned to do. I would’ve killed Kron. If I’d found the people behind No Name, I would’ve killed them too. Just like I killed our parents. You should be glad I’m going.”

Jane opened her mouth to speak, then stopped. It was the first time he’d known her to surrender.

A guard entered. “Five minutes, Miss Colt.”

Jane looked down and nodded. The guard left.

She inhaled deeply, then faced Devin. “Please promise me one thing.”

“What is it?”

“Promise first. I want you to swear it.”

Devin’s searing guilt made him inadvertently say, “Anything. I swear.”

“I want you to request a Via Counselor. I… want it done by someone who cares, not a—a clinical stranger. Someone who can… hear your last confession and everything.”

“Jane, I’m not religious.”

“I know, but… I’m worried about your soul. I’m worried you won’t go to heaven.”

Devin couldn’t help smiling humorlessly. “That was never in doubt. If there is a hell, I’m bound straight for it.”

“Not if you… ask the Absolute for forgiveness and atone for your sins. The Absolute One is all-forgiving and all-merciful. If the Counselor is there for you, you can be saved.”

What? Jane’s always been an outspoken atheist.
Where’s this coming from?
“I guess Adam finally converted you.”

“Yeah, that’s right. Please, just… do it. For me. You swore already.”

More silence. More stares.

Devin nodded. “All right.”

Jane wiped her eyes as more tears fell. “I’ll know. They’ll give me the record of… what happened, so I’ll know if you’re lying again. Dammit, Devin! Don’t you
dare
be lying again!”

“I’m not.” He’d already hurt her so much. If something as trivial as requesting a Counselor would bring her comfort, he had neither reason nor right to deny her. “You shouldn’t be sorry for me. After what I’ve told you—”

“
I don’t care
!” Jane pressed her hands against the transparent wall, as though trying to push through it. “Devin, you’re my brother, and I don’t care if you killed some merc or helped warlords or
what
! I don’t blame you for Mom’s death or
anything else
. Get that through your head!”

Devin turned away, wishing he could make her forget he existed.

The guard returned. “Time to go, Miss Colt.”

Jane didn’t move, instead just looking at Devin as though she wanted to tell him something more, something she couldn’t say.

Devin closed his eyes. “Go, Jane. It’s over now.”

“I love you, bro.”

“Good-bye, Pony.”

No use lay in dwelling on what he should or shouldn’t have done, no point in struggling against what was to come, no meaning or relief through painful ruminations over what it meant that his life was ending. Devin chose to spend his last hours blocking his mind of thoughts, trying to forget all he’d discovered and all he left unresolved. He’d once done his best to become an empty shell, like Sarah turned out to be. As his death neared, he sought that indifference again.

It’s fitting that she chose me. I was as fake as she is, and in a way, as mechanical, just doing as I was commanded.

After ending his disastrous search for purpose, Devin had done his best to erase the impulsive young man he’d been. He would finally succeed.
No one should mourn for me.

He was barely aware of the guards escorting him to the death chamber, hardly noticed the hooded Counselor waiting there. He couldn’t tell whether it was a man or a woman who muttered religious nonsense as he lay back in the execution chair. The detachment in his mind left Devin deaf to the sound of his or her voice, and he didn’t care enough to try to glimpse his or her face.

He lay motionless as the guards strapped him down, staring at the empty white ceiling.

The Counselor measured out the lethal drugs, performing some meaningless ritual all the while. “Devin Colt, listen to me.”

Devin had ignored all the offers for prayer, but that last statement, unexpectedly firm, caught his attention.

“You have the right to a last confession. Is there anything you want to say?” The Counselor was a man, a very young-sounding one.

The familiarity of his voice chilled Devin. “No.”

“Look at me.”

Devin turned his head, and his eyes widened as he recognized the boyish face beneath the hood.
Adam?

“The Absolute is all-knowing and compassionate.” Adam had an odd look in his eyes. “You can trust in the Absolute to ensure that all will be well.”

Someone who cares
. Was that why Jane had insisted Devin request a Counselor?

Adam brought up the needle. “O Absolute One, may You forgive he who is about to see You and allow him to rest eternal in everlasting peace.”

As Devin felt the needle pierce his arm, he saw Adam’s lips move, forming words that looked like:
Trust me
.

Chapter 19

Composure, Exposure

R
iley typed as fast as
he could, scrambling to disable anything that might inform the Kyderan authorities of his and Citizen Zero’s actions. The Pandora assholes weren’t making it easy. “I
hate
the Pandora Project! You monkey-fightin’
excrescence
! Don’t you have other evil plans?”

He sat on the floor of the counterfeit Blue Tang, which Jane had sweet-talked some pirates into selling her. She’d thrown money around the Fringe until someone tipped her off about the vehicle, which looked like every other private craft in the IC but was armed and supposedly untraceable.

“You’re doing good, Riley. It’s gonna work. It has to. It
will
.”

Riley looked up at Jane, who was in the pilot’s seat. “Uh… Duh? I’m the
best
, remember?”

The plan was simple: Get Devin to request a Via Counselor and send Adam with a head full of how-to-fake-a-death knowledge instead. That part had been easy. Citizen Zero had taken a page out of Pandora’s book of evil and faked a bunch of docs. The hood—plus people’s tendency to trust anyone who spoke religious mumbo-jumbo in a priest outfit—had taken Adam the rest of the way.

Jane twisted to face Riley. “What if Adam gets the formula wrong? The tiniest slip-up and it could
actually
kill him. What if we can’t get him the antidote in time? He could be comatose forever. What if—”

“Yo, knock it off.” Riley checked the window on his slate. “You’re distracting me.”

“Sorry…” She was so wound-up her voice shook.

The decent thing to do was to say something encouraging. Riley took a deep breath. “Hey, listen. You’ve got nothing to worry about. Adam won’t screw up. He’s pretty smart for a nov. I mean, the whole fake-out thing was his idea in the first place, right? Not to mention he’s totally in love with you.”

Jane started to say something, but he didn’t hear her protest as a warning popped up on his slate. “Shush! Gotta concentrate!”

Good as he was at speedy programming, knowing that his friend’s life was at stake made Riley nervous as hell.
It’s just a stupid med scanner. I shut down a big fat warship. I hacked freakin’ BD Tech. I think I can make one dumb machine tell everyone a guy who’s not dead has no life signs.

It was probably the oldest prison-break method in the universe and had been attempted about a gazillion times before, but Riley and Citizen Zero would be able to get around the Kyderans’ safeguards and make it work one more time. He pumped his fist as he took control of the med scanner. “
Hah
!”

The bad guys locked him out again. His grin twisted into a grimace. He hustled to re-hijack it. “You mud-eatin’
buttheads
!
Go make a robot clown or something! Ugly, mush-brained
sleaze-pots
!”

A few minutes passed. Riley dropped the slate and pumped both fists. “
Hah
!”

“Is he through?” Jane smiled. “Of course he is. You’re awesome.”

Riley felt kind of warm and fuzzy. “Uh… Thanks. And yeah, he’s through.”

He stretched his arms, glad for the break. Jane was still all jittery, and he felt bad that his previous attempt to reassure her hadn’t worked.
Maybe I can distract her instead.
“Yo, Janie, I’ve got a random question: Why does Devin call you Pony? Kinda weird for a nickname, isn’t it?”

A look he couldn’t interpret crossed Jane’s face, one that seemed kind of sad. Maybe talking about the guy who was in danger wasn’t the best way to make her chill. “Sorry… uh… You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Jane leaned back in the pilot’s seat and turned her gaze to the viewscreen. “It’s all right. I just haven’t thought about it in ages. All I remember is that when I was nine, Devin was in the hospital for several days. I heard Mom and Dad giving him a hard time about being weak. Doesn’t sound right, does it? Well, ‘Colts are stronger than that.’ They wouldn’t let me see him, so when he came home, I snuck into his room from the window. Mine was right next to his.

“He let me in but wouldn’t say anything. He looked really upset, like he’d rather be anywhere else. I kept asking what was wrong, and finally, he told me he hated the Colts and what it meant to be one—how he could never be good enough, how his life wasn’t really his. I didn’t understand, but I wanted to cheer him up, wanted to let him know
I
didn’t expect anything, so I said, ‘I’m not a Colt. I’m a pony!’ It was stupid, but it made him laugh. He’s called me Pony ever since.”

Riley wasn’t sure what to make of the story. “Oh. Cool. So, was he sick?”

“I don’t know. His wrists were bandaged, but no one would tell me what happened. My guess is that he messed with the wrong crowd during some dumb teenage misadventure and got himself knifed.”

Riley’s slate pinged. A warning message told him the Pandora people were trying
again
to alert the authorities to the scanner hack. “Assholes. Leave me alone already!”

He had no reason to be nervous. He was the
best
. As long as his fingers could move, the evil corporation should fear
him
.

“Miss Colt, your brother’s body will be delivered to you for a burial in space, as you requested. Counselor Young will arrive at the landing pad with the casket in ten minutes. I’m sorry for your loss.”

No, you’re not, you freaking tool.
“Thank you, sir.”

Jane stepped over Riley, who sat cross-legged by the cockpit entrance. She pushed the ship’s door open, extended the ramp, and walked down. She’d rather wait outside than sit in that chair any longer, feeling pulverized by the “what-ifs” in her head.

She glanced back at the counterfeit Blue Tang. A shudder shot through her body. She stubbornly attributed it to the chilly weather. The dark blue ship looked almost identical to hundreds of others in and around Kydera City, but the off-brand appearance and hidden cannon seemed glaringly visible to her.

Everything’s fine. They
did
allow me onto the landing pad.

She placed her hands in the pockets of her somber black pants and clutched the two weapons she’d brought: a stunner and a flash grenade. She’d also been mindful to tie up her hair and wear shoes she could run in—just in case.

“I almost hope we
do
find trouble so I’ll have an excuse to shoot someone,” she’d said to Adam three hours ago, when he’d arrived at her apartment to pick up the Counselor’s robe she’d obtained. “I guess I should be careful what I wish for.”

Outside her window, the warm golden rays spilling over the horizon had mocked her. They told her that even if everything went to hell and she lost her brother to a deceived justice system, the real world would turn on as hers shattered. “Adam, tell me it’ll be all right. I know I’ve made fun of you before for it, but… Tell me everything’ll work out.”

Adam put his arm around her in a comforting embrace. “Of course it will. No power in the universe can stop you once you’ve set your mind on something, and Riley, as he loves to remind us, is the best.”

Jane glanced at the robe lying on her table. “And you?”

“Mine’s the easy part.” Adam released her and approached the table. “All I’m doing is taking on a role I would’ve prepared for anyway. You could call it an accelerated course.” He’d sounded as though he tried to shrug it off, but fear had clouded his countenance.

Jane had wanted to say something along the lines of, “Are you sure you can do this?” Adam could barely tell a lie, let alone commit fraud. She hadn’t wanted to add to his anxiety, so she’d kept the question to herself.

Her expression must have asked it anyway, for Adam had tried to reassure her. “I’ll be all right.” He picked up the robe. “I know I’m a terrible liar, but they won’t see my face beneath the hood. Even if they sense something wrong, they’ll take one look at my forged credentials and let me in.”

You’re such a paradox. You wouldn’t even skip class back when things were normal, but you shot a man without hesitation, and you’ve been conspiring to commit a number of felonies.

Adam seemed to notice her perplexed expression. “What is it?”

Jane leaned against the side of her couch. “You’ve got quite the criminal mind for someone so religious. Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s great. It’s just that you’ve always said you couldn’t break the rules even if no one cared because you have your Absolute to answer to.”

Adam tucked the robe into the bag slung across his shoulder. “When the road splits between what’s legal and what’s right, the choice is simple enough. In that sense, I’m no different from you.”

Jane raised her eyebrows. “But
I
have no one watching me. I’ve heard it said that if there’s no higher power, anything goes. I guess that’s why I’m perfectly okay with being bad—I’m godless.”

Adam walked toward her. “You’re not godless. It doesn’t matter what you believe in, Jane, as long as you believe truly, for I know you mean the best. The Absolute wouldn’t care what group you count yourself as being part of, or by what name you call your divine being. That kind of pettiness belongs to the human world. Unfortunately, many of the Via don’t realize it—they take the Book too literally. I believe the Absolute is always there for you, whether or not you acknowledge the presence of a deity.”

Jane tilted her mouth. “So I’m not going to hell for being a blaspheming heretic?”

Adam put his hands on her shoulders. “Of course not. In a way, you’re as religious as I am, just subconsciously. The morality you hold on to—
that’s
what matters. You already answer to a higher power, only you see it as coming from within.”

She cocked her head. “That makes no sense.”

“Yes, it does.” He let go and smiled. “Well, it does to me.”

Jane had felt her brain twist into knots. “You have got to be the most…
liberal, nebulous
religious person
ever
!”
I don’t understand you.

Waiting for Adam to arrive with Devin, Jane found herself talking to that higher power she didn’t believe in for about the millionth time, begging the Absolute to let her plan work. In her pocket, her hand moved from the stunner she’d been gripping to a third item she’d brought: the Via pendant Adam had given her, which she’d inexplicably grabbed on her way out.

Some of her apprehension dissipated when Adam, in his forest-green Counselor robes, stepped onto the landing pad. He pushed a hovering white casket. Two guards followed, and irritation replaced her nervousness.
Why the hell do they need to guard someone who’s supposed to be dead?

Jane did her best to look mournful as she approached. Seeing the casket made that easy. She still wasn’t sure if the plan had
actually
worked. Adam wasn’t exactly a medical professional… “Hello, Counselor.”

Adam nodded in acknowledgement. “Miss Colt.”

She turned to the guards. “You can leave now.”

“I’m afraid we must accompany the body onto the ship,” one of the guards replied. “Policy dictates that we must be present until the burial is performed.”

Jane bit her lip. No one had told her there would be official witnesses.
Isn’t it enough that you tried to kill my brother, you bastards?

“I understand.” She let her doubts occupy her mind. The tears came. “Please, sir, my brother was all I had left, and now he’s gone too. I want to say good-bye to him alone, in private. He’s already dead. He can’t run anymore.”

The guard held himself erect. “I’m sorry, Miss Colt. I’m afraid we cannot make any exceptions.”

Riley called from the ship, “
Hurry up
!”

The Pandora cabal had to be winning the cyber battle. They could alert the authorities to the scanner hack at any moment.

Jane blinked to make a few teardrops fall. “Please, sir, why can’t you let me mourn in peace?”

The guard’s countenance remained stern. “We have policies, Miss Colt.”

Damn, you’re heartless.
She blinked again.

The guard stiffened. “I’m afraid—”

“Ah, screw it!” Jane grabbed her stunner and fired straight at his chest. The guard convulsed as he fell. Despite her penchant for violent rhetoric, that was the first time she’d seriously—and intentionally—attacked someone. She stared at the unconscious guard with a mixture of astonishment and wicked satisfaction.

By the time she looked up, Adam had ditched his robe. He had the other guard’s arm folded up against his own. She watched, surprised, as Adam dropped his weight down on the guard’s arm and twisted to the side. The guard lost his balance.

Jane aimed her stunner. “Move!”

Adam jumped back, and she zapped the guard. “What was
that
?”

Adam stared at the guard. “I don’t know… improvising? He was reaching for his gun.”

About a dozen guards ran across the landing pad. “
Halt
!”

Here we go.
Jane waited for the guards to come a little closer. She gave Adam a nod, and then grabbed the flash grenade from her pocket. She flipped a switch on its side and channeled all her rage into throwing it.

She dropped to the ground, closing her eyes and covering her ears as the grenade went off mid-flight. The piercing screech cut through the air, along with a light so bright she could see it through her eyelids.

She opened her eyes and stood. Everything seemed muted, as though she heard the world from underwater. Muffling her hearing somehow stifled her fear. The guards who hadn’t been knocked out, those who had been quick enough to drop like she had and avoid the blast radius, ran at her.