As I Breathe (One Breath at a Time: Book 2) (17 page)

“
You happened to me, Storm. You are ruining my social life, not to mention my love life too. Everything!” I stammered.

“
You are too young for a love life. What do you know about love?”

“
I know a lot. I can read you know. And I have feelings in case you can’t tell.” The tone in my voice flared, unabashed. I needed him to understand that I was serious.

“
Feelings...”
His dialogue lingered in the silence.

“
What’s wrong? Did the cat snatch your tongue?” I retorted, condescendingly.

“
No cats here. I know you have feelings, Brielle. But I don’t want anyone to hurt you. I have seen you happy, successful and full of laughter for the last seventeen years—don’t throw away your innocence on someone like him...”

I interrupted him mid-sentence. “Almost eighteen you big buffoon or whatever you are. And, as for my innocence, that is none of your—just stay out of it. Understand?” I hollered over him. trying to get him out of my thoughts.

“—But love, Brielle, that’s a big responsibility to love someone in the way you want to. People get hurt. Loving someone before you are ready can end with broken hearts.”

“
Everyone gets hurt, Storm...it’s a risk we all take,” I snapped, secretly not wanting to take any risk.

“
It’s worth it only if they love you back...look at his actions and how he treats other girls,”
he sighed with a bundle of frustration.
“He hasn’t even asked you out on a simple date and you’re here throwing all your loving thoughts and heart into him.”

I smirked. “No kidding, he probably senses your dark cloud lurking around.”

“I hope so,”
Storm admitted.

“
Yeah, well, you’re not going to stop him...but obviously you already know that he will ask me...thanks for the insight,” I said in a superior, self assured tone.

“
Will Jordan love you back? You know his reputation. My best advice—if you were my daughter, I would say get to know his mother, see how a man treats his mother, or sister before you allow him to—you know, get close to you.”

“
I like Jordan. He’s perfect to me. When he walks into a room I feel the earth shake beneath my feet,” I easily breathed out a lie. “I don’t think any other man will ever make my world light up the way he does. And that’s what I want more than anything.” That was the truth, I wanted the kind of love my grandmother once had. “I mean, if he’s not the one, then who will ever love me back? Do you know, Storm?” In that moment I asked him a question from my heart instead that of a girl in combat, fighting for a cause she didn’t yet understand. LOVE...

“
Who knows Brielle, when you’re least expecting it lightening may strike.”

“
Lightening?” I whispered solemnly.
Déjà vu
...something Storm had said struck me so profoundly as if lightening did strike. I shuddered away the chills that chased up and down my spine.

Storm’s noteworthy words carried on in the recess of my mind.
“One day your heart and the man’s who will love you will beat in unison as your grandparent’s did and continues to do so,”
Storm said. I hadn’t recalled ever telling him what I’d wished for. I suppose he only assumed; it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out. As I listened, my defenses began to melt under the combined assault of annoyance and an appreciation of his enlightening words.
“You and he will meet face to face...and in that moment, you will know he’s the one, and he will too. I promise that you will have this, Brielle.”
His words prophesied a promise of all I wanted in love
. “What you will have with this man is passion that will grow into something so unexplainable...your body, mind and...”

His meaningful words went on and on. Storm had never spoken to me about things such as love, desire or passion between a man and woman. I could almost hear him blushing. He sounded pretty impassioned for someone that had never experienced “love” with a woman before. It didn’t make a difference what he believed. I doubled back to the batter’s box and hit Storm with my best shot.

“Stop, Storm...I can’t listen to any of your fallacies...it’s not how real life goes on down here, there’s no silver linings like on the clouds you fly about. Wake up and smell the thorns, big birdie.” Where had all my anger towards Storm come from? There was no justification for my sharp tongue. “I’m sorry it’s just you’re an angel and well, I’m not. I wish I were sometimes, because I’d give God a piece of my mind, face to face.”

“
I’m sure you would,” Storm said with a sparkly edge.

“
Storm, why did God take my grandfather and then my grandma and, my older sister from our family? I never even got to meet her.” I was on a roll.

“
God is a verb...a supernatural energy of action and more. He gives and he takes...I believe for every bad thing that we feel happens to us there’s are a million good things that take place in the universe and for every good act, ten fold and more are brought into the world.”

I refused to relent as much as I considered he might have been right. “Look what happened to my grandparents...tragedy struck their lives. So what you’re saying is they had to pay detrimental wages for someone else to receive a fortune?” I said poignantly, instantly regrouping my defenses.

“We all pass something on to others for the sake of ourselves. You’re grandmother passed hope on to you and without hope all is lost.”

“
Where was the hope my grandparents deserved? Are they together, Storm?” My cynical tone hit the air as a vulnerable tear dropped onto the rise of my cheek. I wiped it away before another one crested behind it. “Do you know there wasn’t a day that went by that my grandmother didn’t think of him? She ached to be with him. Is that what I’m going to have? Tears and heartache?”

“
Brielle, let me explain...the nature of my business here—honestly, it’s a conflict of interest for me to help you with your love life before it’s time.”

“
Oh how scientific of you. You were doing better before with the sap—trust me.”

What did Storm really know about loving someone—a human being—anyway? Sure he knew about heavenly places, how to protect we humans, and how to make supernatural things happen. But love?

“But how can I expect anything more, you’re not even human, so I don’t think you have any right, or any knowledge, to talk to me about waiting for love, the kind of love that real people share, physical and all. Sorry, but you’re not really one to give advice on loooove.” I rolled my tongue. “Stick to saving little girls from molesters”—
Ouch, that one probably stung. Damn, who have I become?
I thought. My pride wouldn’t allow me to take it back, so I continued—“Crap, you’ve probably never even kissed a girl.” I paused to allow my monologue to fester in his head. “Have you?” I inquired with great curiosity.

There was a long moment of silence, at least, the time and space of two hundred heartbeats. I clucked three times. “Time is ticking. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Hey, I don’t have all day.” I rolled my eyes, a teenage habit that I had mastered. “Are you in there?” I took a deep breath of air, holding back the words that I wanted to scream aloud but couldn’t.

I went on with my torrid dialogue inwardly so Storm couldn’t hear me.
What a tool. God sure cursed you, didn’t he? You will be trapped in my head, or someone else’s, like a bird in a cage with no wings to fly, Forever! You will never feel the touch of a woman’s kiss on your lips. I don’t even know if you have lips. The closest you will ever get to feeling anything resembling love is by watching it through my eyes. So, butt out and let me do my thing! You—you, you fucking evil spirit, fly away!
And, he did for all of a few minutes.
My internal harsh words didn’t stop here...

***

After all Storm’s meddling in my life, I still didn’t have the courage to release the contention that had build up over the years on him...not out loud. Instead, I refrained and cursed him up and down in the silence of my mind. I was
grateful
he couldn’t hear my private diatribe of angry words. I’d figured this out a year prior to our first real, hellacious fight.

I had just turned sixteen and was very determined to sneak out of the house. It was the first time I had ever thought about doing something so precarious and it was all based on a dare. I was going to attend my first drinking party. There were no plans on my part to get drunk. I just wanted to be seen there by my classmates, which was perfectly normal. In my opinion going to a party was way overdue.

No one understood this, not my mother or father and especially not Storm. Of course, he sided with them when I asked permission to go. Of all people, I thought my personal angel would’ve understood my need to be popular amongst my peers. Then again, Storm wasn’t human; he was an angel. It was supposed to be his job to make me happy, not miserable. What kind of angel was he anyway? I often found myself questioning that.

Storm was flatout determined to keep me from going to the biggest party of the year. I knew he was the one who set off our house alarm, waking my parents in the middle of the night. However, he never came clean with me on that one.

Needless to say, I was caught sneaking out of the house that night. I never even made it past our condo elevator and was grounded for a month. I swore that I would never forgive Storm for getting me busted—despite the fact that the police raided the party—I was furious with him.

Apparently, most of the kids scattered when the police showed up; however, three of my best girlfriends were caught and arrested for under-age drinking. Nuilley happened to be one of them. I suppose I would have been arrested too, if I was there, but this didn’t matter to me at the time.

Blaming Storm for my boring social life worked for me. I cursed Storm for weeks and dropped major F-bombs in my private thoughts. Since then, I was certain he couldn’t hear my personal brainworks. If he could, he would’ve already thrown me into the lake of fire years ago for my foul language.

I eventually thanked Storm for saving my skinny butt that night. Nuilley got into so much trouble as a result of getting drunk that night. Her parents had to bail her out of jail, hire an attorney and pay major fines. On top of all that, she was sentenced to three hundred hours of community service. It was a harsh punishment and, in my opinion, far worse than being grounded for a month. I felt a little blessed for having Storm, even if he did, in fact, set off the house alarm preventing me from going to the party. He never gloated or rubbed anything in my face. There were no
I told you so
’s when it came to Storm. I think he was just relieved that we were talking again.

***

Now for the second time, it was Storm’s goal to ruin the biggest night of my life. I was really fed up with him barging into my life whenever he felt like it. He never gave me any privacy, well, except for when I had to shower, shave and do other private things. Supposedly, that’s the truth of it.

At my wits’ end with Storm’s interference, I became extremely angry with him and unleashed the wrath of me onto him. This time he went too far. I knew he was setting a plan in motion to ruin my high school prom date. Over my dead body! If Storm managed to screw up my prom date, it would be beyond unforgivable.

Words of pent up anger and frustration flew from my mouth, loud and clear. They sliced like a knife through the air.

Hell hath no fury like a teenager scorned…a female teenager with raging hormones, that is. I was sick to death of his meddling and the little pranks he pulled to influence my parents’ decisions, It was never my intention to hurt Storm. After all, he had been my best friend for many years and had possibly saved my life; however, I really needed my freedom to explore boys, life and good times. I needed the opportunity to spread my wings, and make my own mistakes. And, he was the one thing—yes, thing, standing in my way.

“Brielle...”
I detected hurt in his deep manly voice.

“
Oh, there you are. I thought you flew back to Heaven. My dumb-luck—you didn’t,” I clucked, waving my arms in the air.

“
No—I don’t think they would let me in there.”

“
Really? And why not? Haven’t you earned your feathery wings yet?” My words were venomous and cold-hearted. “You’re never going to get them at this rate.”

“
Brielle, stop. Why are you being so hateful?”

“
Why? You ask me why? I will tell you why, because you are going to be stuck inside my head forever, like a bird in a cage with no wings to fly.” I repeated out loud some of what I’d said internally a minutes before. “You have cursed me, so now I’m paying you back, I’m going to make you as miserable as you have made me all these years,” I said, unleashing my most contentious laughter on to him. “Now, your big fat ego is condemned to me, so get used to it.”

“
It’s not like that for me. I don’t see being with you as a—I’m tired...no one wears me out like you can...”
He relented with a winded sigh.