As I Breathe (One Breath at a Time: Book 2) (13 page)

What happened to Brielle? Or Brie-Brie?

“Hello,
Friend
. I’m Amanda,” she said, reaching out to shake my hand. I glanced at her slender arm, long, lean and full of grace. My own arms were long and lean too but fell short of being graceful. Lanky and clumsy was more like it. I slipped my hand into hers, and she felt fragile to the touch. I wondered if I did too.

“
Yeah, hi, I heard him say your name,” I groaned sarcastically doing my best to mask the anger I felt. Squaring my shoulders, I confidently introduced myself, “I’m Brielle Eden.” Jude hadn’t even bothered mentioning my name.

“
I like your name,” Amanda complimented me.

“
Thanks.” Despite my desire to be sick, I managed to flash a turned in, rigid, tight-lined smile at her.

“
What’s that...?” Amanda asked inquisitively, and her eyes fell on our photo.

I fixated on the instant photo in Jude’s limp hand. I felt tears straining against the back of my eyeballs.

“This...?” His eyes darted down to the picture. “It’s a photo of me and my new little friend, Brie.” He tilted it toward Amanda.

“
You are so beautiful—very photogenic. Did Jude tell you I’m a model for Elite in New York City?” she asked, her eyes beaming with pride.

Alarms rang in my head. It was her...Amanda Seymour. She was on the first season of
Super Model
months ago. She didn’t win, but she came in as the second runner up. Oh my God! I recognized that she was the girl on the cover of last months
Glamour,
too. There was this entire article about her and the show.
Damn you, what are you doing here?

“
No, he didn’t mention that to me,” I retorted
. He didn’t mention you at all.
You are very unpopular in my circle of friends; no one likes you.
I glared at her.
Unfortunately, when my brain processed certain things, my words would come spilling out matching my thoughts. “I know who you are,” I muttered. I hated that I had admitted to her that I knew who she was. My thoughts and my mouth betrayed me.

Jude piped in, a fraction behind the conversation. “That’s right Brielle lives in Manhattan, too. I almost forgot that.”

Of course you forgot...you barely remembered my name!

Amanda reached into the little worn leather brown bag that was cinched low on her rail thin hips. “Here’s my card. You should think about modeling. I started around your age. Call me sometime, and I can introduce you to my agency. They’ll love you.” She smiled and handed me her calling card. I wanted to hate her, I really did, but she was actually very nice.

“Thanks.” I bit my lip. “But, I am going to be a writer.” My eyes flashed up toward Jude.

Please make her disappear like you did the ghost. Take me to the beach instead of her.
I remembered we were actually leaving today.
I will run away with you.
Confusion stimulated my thoughts. I wanted to rip her card up into a million pieces and throw it into Jude’s face. How could he do this to me? Why did Amanda have to be so nice? Why did she have to be Amanda Seymour, the beautiful model? All my dreams suddenly went up in smoke.

“
Here Brielle,”—Jude handed me the photo—“take this...maybe I will see you again one day in pictures too, no pun intended,” he half-chuckled and so did Amanda.

That’s not funny assholes!

I fought to hold back my tears that clawed their way to the surface. So much for Grandmother’s predictions, I thought.

“
I guess this is goodbye?” I managed to choke out as a single tear fell to the edge of my upper lip. My voice quivered uncontrollably.

Jude looked befuddled. Clearly, he was embarrassed that I had shed tears and in front of Amanda. I couldn’t make eye contact with him. Instead, I eyeballed the photo. Just moment ago life was perfect, Jude and I stood next to each other with his arm wrapped around my shoulder. Upon examining the photo I realized we looked as if we were two good ole buddies. In hindsight, meeting Amanda explained why Jude hadn’t slipped his arm around my waist for the photo. It explained a lot.

Jude was a moth flying into the light and Amanda was that light, not me.

“
Are you okay, Brie?” Jude asked.

No! I’m not okay, dumb ass! You just broke my heart.

“I’m fine...the sun. It’s in my eyes.” My words trailed off as I licked away another tear. “Nice meeting you, Amanda.”

“
Oh, sweetie, you too.” Her eyes met with my gaze and the thought that lay behind it. She knew and was aware that I had miscalculated my feelings—no—Jude’s feelings towards me.

“
Bye, Jude,” I said then turned and walked away. A few yards from them I turned back around, and they were now holding hands and watching me. Amanda eased her hand from Jude’s and ran to me. I turned on my heels, picking up my pace.

“
Wait!” Amanda’s voice caught in the cool breeze that slapped against my face. A hard slap in the face, and it stung against my cheeks.

“
I have to go. My parents are waiting,” I stammered. Once the tears released, I couldn’t hold them back. Amanda was on my heels.

“
Brielle, please stop...” Her palm flailed against the back of my shoulder. I stopped and turned toward her.

“
What do you want?” I snapped. My cordial expression from seconds before turned icy. “You ruined everything.”

“
Ouch...” Amanda winced.

“
Yeah, ouch,” I mocked her.

“
Brielle, I am sorry,” she spoke softly, I supposed so that Jude couldn’t hear her.

“
I bet you do this all the time to girls like me,” I cried.

“
Why would you say something like that?” she asked.

“
Because you can; you’re so beautiful and perfect,” I mumbled in a raspy tone.

“
Listen, life is not about how you look,” she said.

“
Yours is...so don’t feed me that crap,” I growled, my lips pursed and wry.

“
Okay. I won’t lie. You’re right. Life can be easier in a world that puts so much emphasis on the way we look when people perceive you as beautiful on the outside. But, our pretty faces, even our lives can be taken away in a second. Nothing should be taken for granted.”

“
Yeah, well, that’s easy for you to say,” I hissed.

“
You don’t know my troubles. Please, it’s not been as easy as you may think it has for me.”

“
I would give anything right now to be in your shoes.” I glanced down at her shoes. Eww, they were dirty and torn. This was shocking to me. As my eyes scrolled back up to her face, I noticed a terrible scar high on the thigh of her leg. It was purple and deep almost as if someone had cut out a chunk of her flesh.

“
What happened?”

“
Oh that...it’s nothing.” She tugged on her shorts that had risen to reveal the scar.

“
It looks like it hurts,” I said, trying not to stare.

“
Not so much anymore, just here sometimes,” Amanda pressed her hand against her heart, and her eyes turned red. The tiniest tear fell from her lashes.

“
Are you okay?” I asked.

“
I’m doing much better.”

“
Well, even with that scar, I would trade places with you right this minute.”

“
Brielle...you’re very pretty. I looked very much like you when I was your age. So natural, untouched and innocent, enjoy this time of your life.” Her words were so genuine and sincere.

“
Now you’re embarrassing me.” I knotted my fingers together.

“
It seems like I never say the right words.” She rocked slightly back and forth and more tears welled in her eyes. “Real” was the word that came to mind; she was real. And, despite the fact that she was so beautiful, on the outside, I could tell she was hurting somewhere on the inside.

“
Well, maybe you shouldn’t try so hard,” I suggested.

“
Aww, look at you, giving me advice now—young, beautiful and wise for your age. You win.”

“
That’s not how I see it. Jude likes you, not me.”

“
I know it’s none of my business, but I know how you feel...I knew you liked Jude. I could tell. You should know that he didn’t know how you felt about him. But...”—she glanced back at Jude—“he really thinks you are amazing—and special.”

“
Really?” I beamed, a little confused. “He likes me?”

“
Oh yes, very much. He just didn’t want to get all involved because you live so far away.”

“
Oh, that makes sense. But, what about you guys? You live far away too.” I bit the inside of my mouth, waiting for her answer. Amanda twisted her lips and sighed.

“
I think the only reason he likes me is because he thinks I am a model with no brains, and it makes him feel smarter...” She winked and glanced back at Jude again. He was busy entertaining some folks who were passing by. “I really hate to admit it, but he mentioned to me that you are one of the most intelligent girls he’s ever met.”

“
I can be dumb.” I nodded.

“
No, don’t ever dumb down for a man.” Her full lips stretched to a thin line and a hint of disappointment glowed in her eyes.

“
But...”

“
Never, it’s his problem. I’m sure Jude’s intimidated by you—you know how men can be, right?”

“
Of course I do,” I lied. Before that moment, I hadn’t known much of anything about men. “You’re saying men don’t like girls that are smarter than them.”

Amanda shifted her eyes upward, which was a dead giveaway. She paused, probably trying to figure out what to say next. Her hesitation was clear to me. I knew what she was up to—trying to save me. How unselfish of her. I had to give her some credit; after all she was trying hard to help me. I got it. They were in love. So, I went ahead and played along with her, but only for a minute.

“Hmm...something like that...they just don’t like to admit it. But, remember not all men feel this way. Please, don’t be upset about Jude, he—” I looked at her suspiciously and was now more than convinced my hunch was right on the money. She was trying to save me from suffering from a broken heart.

I interrupted her. “It’s okay. I think you are pretty smart, Amanda.”

“Me? No. Not like you.” She contorted her lips to one side of her face.

“
Well, if you say so—but, I don’t agree. I think you’re smarter than what you let on.” I coyly winked at her. “Playing dumb worked, even with me...thanks for being nice.”

“
Come here.” She flung her arms around me. “Are you going to be okay?”

“
Yes, thanks to you. I knew exactly what you were doing.”

“
And you let me go on?” Amanda laughed. “I feel so stupid.”

“
Yeah,” I guffawed. “Wait, I don’t mean you’re stupid,” I gasped in a huge gulp of air, giggling. “But it was funny watching you trying to come up with something to say. Something believable you know.”

“
Oh Brielle, you’re going to do more than fine when it’s your time to meet the right guy. Just remember to be yourself.” Amanda swept her arms beneath mine and gave me a hug. She held me so tightly; it was almost as if she was trying to steal a piece of me. I couldn’t help but wonder why. “I can’t wait to read your first book. Promise me that you won’t forget me when I’m in line at your first book signing” Amanda whispered.

“
Hey, I decided that I think I’m going to model just like you. Then I can write on the side—play dumb when I have to, that way I will have it all—a hot guy, money and fame.”

We both laughed, almost like sisters would. It was nice.

When our laughter broke, a concerned look formed in Amanda’s eyes. “I don’t want to steer you wrong, and I feel like I have. Please, stick to your writing. You definitely have the figure and the face to model, but I have a feeling that you have more to offer the world by writing.”

“
Don’t worry. I won’t give up on writing.” I sighed. “You know...I can see why Jude loves you so much,” I wistfully said.

“
Aww, thanks.” She exhaled, seemingly relieved and pecked the top of my head with a kiss. She was a tall glass of water and as skinny as a ruler.

“
Hold on. Stay right here, okay?” I pleaded.

“
Okay.” A puzzled expression flashed on her face.

I quickly ran back to Jude and gave him a super big hug.

“Hey, Amanda is awesome,” I buzzed in his ear. “You two should get married. Okay?” I practically demanded.

“
I will try my best to win her heart.” Jude winked at me.