As Tears Go By (4 page)

“Faster.”

He
increased his speed.

“Harder.”

Each
thrust became firmer, stabbing deep into her core, rapidly filling her with
each penetrating advance. Her voice grew high in pitch as she cried out with
each plunge. Her body tightened and pulsed around him as he gave her everything
she begged for.

Driving
deep, he rotated his hips and her composure dissolved, her body rocking with
uncontainable trembles. Her sobs filled the air, driving his control to the
brink. He fought back his release, but it was impossible with her body clamping
down so lusciously. His seed left him in a rush and he nearly collapsed with
the force of it.

Pressing
his brow into her shoulder, he breathed hard. Her arms fell to her sides as she
caught her breath. After a while she sighed and said, “I’ve never experienced
anything like that before in my entire life.”

“Are
you pleased?”

She
laughed a bit nervously, but it was a charming sound. “Pleased isn’t the right
word. I’m shocked.”

Pressing
his smile to her neck, he chuckled. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to clean
up.”

He
withdrew and his cock twitched, already missing her heat. Her body was a
sanctuary. Standing, he went to the bathroom and shut the door. Unsure how he’d
tempted the gods of karma, he was certain he’d done something great.

He
tossed the condom and washed up, wanting to get back to her as soon as
possible. Exiting the bathroom, he asked, “Do you need any—” He frowned.
“Becca?”

The
door in the living room clicked. Hustling out of the bedroom, finding no
evidence of her presence, he frowned.

She was
gone.

Chapter Two

Nikki’s
door fell open with a startling crash. Becca grabbed the frame, still needing
to brace her weight so her wobbly knees didn’t collapse.

“Becca?
What are you doing here? I thought you were hanging out with GQ boy.”

Becca
pushed her aside and shut the door, throwing her disheveled body against the
heavy wood. After catching her breath, she paced and collapsed into the chair
in the hall. “I was, but I left.”

Nikki
shuffled closer, two hairy wookie slippers coming into view. “Did he do
something wrong? I’ll get my nine iron.”

“No. He
was incredible. I mean…
really
incredible.”

Nikki
clapped. “Well, that’s fantastic! But why are you here?”

“I
don’t know. We’d just…you know, and then I panicked. I left before I even had
my pants buttoned.” Her face heated as she hissed, “I can’t find my underwear.”

Nikki
laughed. “Well, pull yourself together and go back there.”

“I
can’t go back there now! He’s probably furious.”

“So you
had the best sex of your life with a gorgeous man and you’re never going to see
him again? He must’ve literally fucked your brains out.”

Leveling
her best friend with a hard stare, she confessed, “I got scared. If this is
what sex is supposed to be like…I feel like I’ve been drinking juice all my
life while the rest of the world sipped champagne.” She growled. “I want to
kill Kevin! For the past year I’ve been beating myself up, thinking I was
inadequate. He’s the one that sucks!”

Nikki
chuckled and squatted next to her. “Yeah, Becs, Kevin sucks, but why is tonight
a bad thing? Look at what you learned. Sex is fun. You should celebrate your
new single status. Get out there. Live a little.”

“You
know I can’t do that.”

“Why?”

Her
heart was still racing at a rate that made her insides rattle. “I didn’t expect
it to be so…
intense
.”

“Mmm…that
good, huh? Well, maybe Mr. GQ isn’t
the guy
for you, but there’re lots
of guys. Go hog wild. Don’t look at this time of your life as a moment for
mourning your tragic marriage. Look at it as an experience in newfound freedom,
filled with
shebang-igans
,
tom-fuckery
, and absolute
dick-bauchery
.
You go get yourself some ass!”

She
frowned at her friend. Nikki didn’t get it. Becca couldn’t do casual sex. She
just couldn’t. There was a fine line between having fun and being
irresponsible, and she needed to keep her head.

Terrible
guilt swamped her for sneaking out without thanking Braydon, but she’d been so
embarrassed at her inexperience she wanted to cry. If she’d lost it in his
apartment, she would’ve been completely humiliated.

Her
life had many facets she wasn’t comfortable letting others intrude on. Her
priorities had always been meticulously kept at the top of her list of concerns
in life, the lesser desires buried at the bottom, including fun, dating, personal
pampering, and, of course, sex. Dating wasn’t something she ever planned on
doing again. It simply didn’t fit in her world.

Nikki
sighed. “Do you want to stay here?”

“No. I
should go home. I need to get stuff together for work on Monday. The clients
for the Apricot deal are showing up and we’re finally meeting with the
architectural firm.”

“Okay.
I’ll see you at the office. Try not to beat yourself up too much. Single Becca
lives without regrets.”

Ha.
That was a lie.

That
night she lay in bed replaying the evening in her mind. Her body still held his
scent. Her breasts were tender from his handling and other parts of her were
swollen from the deliciously rough way he took her.

She
never knew it could be like that. A little knowledge could be a terrifying, but
curious thing. Why had Kevin never touched her that way?

Braydon
said she was a ten. Playing back his words, she smiled. A ten. Refusing to go
down a path of more self-doubt, she focused on all the wonderful things Braydon
said and the way he made her feel, committing his words to memory for a future
lonely day—or several.

A
marriage based on lies was not a dependable source of information. The painful
knowledge of how false her entire foundation had been, never eased. Perhaps
someday she’d get over the lost years of her twenties, but today wasn’t that
day.

* * * *

Braydon
entered the bar and scanned the patrons. She wasn’t there.

“Back
again?”

He
turned as the waitress addressed him. “Yeah. I was hoping to find someone
here.”

“Got a
description?” She perched her tray on her apron swaddled hip.

“Blonde,
deep blue-violet eyes, ivory skin.”

“Sounds
lovely. Sorry, I haven’t seen her.”

“Figures.”

“Can I
get you a drink?”

He
ordered a beer and took a seat at the bar. Their chance encounter had awakened
a curiosity in him he hadn’t expected. He held no false illusions about their
one night stand, but it smarted knowing she’d fled maybe five seconds after
climax. Was she not satisfied?

He
should have gotten her last name. Her friend had his damn ID and he didn’t have
more than a vague description.

He had
nothing of hers aside from the panties she’d left stuffed in the cushion of his
couch. Was he being a creep, trying to find her when all she’d promised was one
night? Maybe, but something drew him back to her, provoked him to find her
again. He wished he’d had her number or something.

The
longer he waited in the bar the more disgusted he became with himself. It was
as though the entire experience were an erotic dream. He refused to accept that
she just bailed without even a goodnight. Despite his earlier self-doubts, he believed
she hadn’t faked that sort of unveiled pleasure.

They
had a connection and it scared her. Probably because her marriage just ended.

Tossing
some money on the bar, he grabbed his coat and decided to chalk the incident up
to sheer luck, which had obviously run out with her. But no matter how he
tried, he couldn’t get her out of his head.

The
drive back to his quiet apartment was made in comparable silence. Though he’d
moved from the country to the city, home was a much noisier place. There was
always something going on at home. The city was busy, but it wasn’t the same
sort of noise he’d grown up around.

Everything
in the city tended to blend into white noise. The cloak of professionalism he
wore also veiled a bit of the day-to-day drama. Truth be told, he missed the
chaos, missed his family, missed being able to let loose and kick back. He
really needed a trip home before this hankering for company got the better of
him.

As he
entered his apartment, tossing his keys onto the glass table by the door, he
sighed. His imported furniture and state of the art sound system brought little
comfort. No matter what he filled his place with, he couldn’t seem to convert
the apartment into a home. It was a dwelling, a shelter, but not the warm and
welcoming abode he as an architect should be capable of creating. Something was
definitely missing.

Knowing
he’d likely never run into little Ms. Perfect again, he refused to admit it
wasn’t something but some
one.
He’d
traveled that long road for too long and couldn’t get hung up on searching for
his other half, especially when the woman he was fixated on clearly wasn’t
meant to be in his life long term. If there were someone out there for him,
surely he’d know and not have to go searching a city the size of Pittsburgh trying
to chase her down.

Taking
a deep breath, he decided to let go of the fantasy and let kismet take the
wheel. If he had another half, she would come to him naturally.
 
But letting go was easier said than done. He
never expected to be alone at this stage of his life. Nor did he expect to be
the last of all his siblings to find his happily ever after.

When he
went to bed that night her scent still clung to his pillows. Every time he shut
his eyes, visions of her flaxen hair filled his mind. Why was he so fixated on
her? It was more than loneliness. He was fine with his single status before
meeting her. There was something specific about Becca, something he couldn’t
put his finger on, but he really wished he’d had more time to get to know her.

One
thing was
certain,
if he ever saw her again he’d ring
her neck for toying with him. Women
never
had this effect on him. Of
course, the first to really grab his interest took off without even providing
her full name. Definitely not meant to be.

* * * *

Monday
morning Becca rushed into her office, depositing her files and coffee on her
desk and quickly revisited her presentation for the meeting that morning.

“How
was the rest of your weekend?”

Becca’s
gaze bounced from the computer screen as Nikki lounged in the doorway. Her
sharp pantsuit and slicked back hair hid a goodly amount of her wild side. “It
was fine. Quiet.”

“Will
you have to see Kevin tonight?”

Becca
sighed. There were the unannounced moments that Kevin popped in to pick up more
crap he “forgot”, but that wasn’t the case this time. These transitional
encounters would be the norm until he demanded a change to their agreement. She
needed to get past the reoccurring trepidation.
 
“Yes, but I’m getting used to it. He’ll only be there for a minute or
two.”

Nikki nodded
her understanding. “You ready for your meeting?”

“As
ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Good.
Mr. Dillard’s assistant just arrived. The rest of them should be here shortly.”

“Thanks
for the heads up.”

Nikki
left and Becca saved her work to a thumb drive. The anxiety was already
building at the thought of seeing Kevin that night, so she submerged herself in
work and focused on preparing her presentation.

At two
minutes to nine, she gathered her materials and headed to the conference room.
Mr. Dillard and his assistant, Mike, were already seated. She set her items on
the table and smiled.

Extending
her hand, she said, “It’s a pleasure to have you back, Mr. Dillard. I think
you’ll be happy with the company presenting today. Their architects are all
fresh minds with diverse backgrounds in commercial branding.”

Mr.
Dillard shook her hand. “I’m sure you won’t disappoint, Becca.”

They
settled into their seats and she slipped the thumb drive into her laptop.
Making sure everything was lined up with the overhead, she set her presentation
to the first slide. Eyeing the clock, she stifled her nerves, hoping that the
architect reps would be there soon. “Can I get you more coffee before we
begin?”

“No,
thank you. We have everything we need. Should we wait?”

Her
toes twitched in her shoes under the table.
Come on.
Finally the door
opened. A slender woman with a cocoa complexion stepped in and Becca breathed a
sigh of relief.

The
woman, dressed in a slate gray power suit, extended her hand. “Sorry we’re
late. I’m Miranda Robinson. Mr. McCullough will be with us in a moment.”

Hands
were shaken and Becca again offered refreshments. When the door opened again,
every nerve in her body tensed as
Braydon
stepped into the conference
room.
Oh my God!

Forcing
her mouth shut, she formed a poor excuse for a smile. Braydon stilled only for
the briefest second, and extended his hand to her. “Braydon McCullough.”

“Becca…
Stevens,” she greeted tightly, ignoring the jangling of nerves racing up her
arm as he gently shook her hand. Her body shivered with too many reminders of
how he had touched her so intimately.

His
casual grin appeared sincere, but there was no missing the shrewd set of his
eyes. He was angry with her.

Turning
away from his scrutiny, she quickly said, “Mr. McCullough, this is Mr. Dillard,
CEO of Apricot Inc. and his assistant, Mike.”

The men
shook hands and Becca returned to her chair. Everyone took their seats and
stared at her expectantly.

“Shall
we get started, Becca?” Mr. Dillard prompted.

“Oh.
Right.” Kick-starting her delayed brain, she turned to the overhead screen.
“Apricot Inc. has been a trusted brand among the…” As she dove into her
presentation, her mind working on autopilot, she tried to fight back the sense
that Braydon’s eyes were not on the screen, but on her. Extremely
self-conscious of every word’s pronunciation and every twitch of her body, she
hoped to God her scripted spiel was making sense. This was a big deal for their
company.

Somehow,
she reached the end of her pitch without screwing up too badly—she hoped. “So
you see, it is with complete faith that our company recommends Bradford
Architectural Corp. to set the new trend in the market and create a
renaissance, a rebirth, of the great company that is, and will continue to be,
Apricot Inc.”