Ascent (19 page)

“Yes, I’m ready.”

“Good. We’re looking forward to getting you back in the present with a clean past. Don’t delineate outside the list. Just do what Lisa told you. It’s simple.”

Dr. Thompson steps away, and I’m alone. I hear the clock ticking in my brain, the one that is pushing me towards my fate.

“Ten seconds, Matt.”

I take a deep breath.

“Five seconds.”

Another deep breath.

“Four … three … two … one …”

The present spins around me. My classmates wave like flags in the distance. Farrah gives me a weak wave. I want to run and hug her but it’s too late.

“Go!”

I switch the Slider mode to locate and it vibrates in my hand. An arrow points ninety degrees to my right just like Dr. Thompson said. I start running in the direction of the arrow.

The air in front of me begins to ripple. I run towards the waves and see a tunnel. I run faster just like Dr. Thompson said.

And enter a vacuum.

***

The vortex is like a suction tube that pulls you away. I’m in a tunnel that’s sweeping me to a different place in time. A million people swish by. Babies are born. Seniors die. Teens graduate high school …

The Party starts gripping its claws into society.

Everything changes.

I hear voices, but they’re all a blur.

I feel time pulling me. I’m getting younger. I can feel the horrible effects of the last year falling away.

The blur continues to stream by.

I’m almost there.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Matt

Fourteen Months Earlier

And there I am – back on that day – just as Dr. Thompson said.

It worked.

***

The party is off the hook. Just like I remember it. For a minute I forget why I’m even here. Josh walks in and heads straight for the keg. Hannah and Violet are laughing by the table. Violet is wearing that purple sweater.

I feel sick to my stomach.

“Matt!” Violet places the red cup on the table and rushes towards me with her arms extended.

“Hey, Vee.” I give her a tight hug. She smells like the cosmetic department at Nordstrom – the kind of smell that almost chokes you if you breathe in too deeply. Her hair brushes against my face. Her skin is warm. She’s wearing fuchsia sticky lip-gloss. The kind you buy at the MAC counter with loud music playing in the background. I hated going there with her. That was before I realized I’d never go there again. That’s the thing about life: you don’t always appreciate the little things until they’re gone.

She kisses me on the cheek. This time I don’t wipe it off.

Things are already different.

“Oh my God, I thought you weren’t coming. What took you so long? I thought you were going to be here an hour ago!”

I run my hand down her back. She’s so thin, like a stick figure, like one of those little magnets Mom has on the refrigerator to hold up her to-do list.

Violet takes my hand and pulls me over to the table where everyone is sitting, playing quarters. Empty beer cans are strewn across the room. The table is covered in red cups. I take an empty chair. The cushion on the chair is cut and cotton is coming out the sides. Everything looks exactly the way I remember it.

The reel that plays in my mind night after night has already started.

“Matt, my main man, nice of you to show up, dude. We’ve been waiting on you. It’s your turn, by the way.” Josh tosses me a quarter. I go to bounce it off the table. At the last minute I move my hand to the right and miss. The quarter lands in the center of the table. Josh laughs. “Pussy. You can do better than that. Try again.” He picks the quarter back up and tosses back to me. This time I’m too far to the left. So he retrieves the quarter again and tosses it to Violet. “We’re never going to get our buzz on that way.”

Violet is a pro at quarters, especially for a girl. One shot and the quarter’s in the cup. She pushes the cup towards me. “Drink up, buttercup.” She smiles and her eyes sparkle. It’s hard to think what’s going to happen later.

I want to forget. I’d rather just enjoy these last moments with her, lost in her blue eyes and her dark hair. So I take the cup and drink. The hops are smooth, like the beer sat in the cup all night. The outside of the cup is wet. I wipe my hand on my pants. I down the beer and place it in the middle of the table.

Around the table we go in turns. Josh picks me and I push the beer at Colton. Colton’s not driving. Colton’s the person the cops interviewed back at the house. I feel fuzzy, but it’s not from alcohol. The feeling brings me back to the last night I felt this way. I shake off the feeling. It’s a night I’ve been trying to forget for so long that I question why I decided to come back.

What if I can’t change anything? What if everything stays exactly the same?

The first time at the party, I played at the table all night. This night is different. I get up and sit on the couch. Mason and Todd are watching college baseball. I join them in the revelry of a match up between USC and UCLA.

“Ah … he leaves the table to join the underlings.” Mason nods at me from across the couch.

“Hey, guys …”

Todd looks at me out of the corner of his eye with his brow furrowed and then back to the TV. “What brings you over here?”

“The game.”

“I’ve never known you to give up drinking to watch the game.”

“I don’t drink that much …”

Todd gives me a look. Is that how everyone sees me? Big guy on campus who likes to drink? That guy isn’t the person I want to be.

And this is my chance to make a change.

I hear Violet giggle in the background. I look over my shoulder to see the quarter flying above the table, before falling in Josh’s cup. Josh picks up the cup to drink. I’m surprised that he doesn’t swallow the quarter.

The short stop from UCLA sends the ball flying over the fence and the crowd on the TV breaks out in cheers. More giggles in the background. I feel my eyes grow heavy. The room stinks like hops and beer farts. I stand up. I need some fresh air.

***

Violet is still at the table when I open the door to walk outside. Josh’s parents have a pool they never use. The pool is mostly just to show off so they can have parties outside and invite all their rich friends. But it’s really only used by Josh’s friends when his parents are out of town. Like right now. Turns out Josh’s dad did all the pool work for nothing.

I lie down on an empty lounge chair. It’s a clear night and the stars twinkle just as they always have. They look exactly the same then as they do now – in the future. It’s like nothing bad ever happened.

On that day Violet was still alive and the US was still a multi-party nation. It’s amazing how fast everything can change.

It’s seems almost impossible.

I hear the sound of laughter ring inside. I remember it as the last time I saw the world as a happy and safe place. The last time I saw a future with Violet and I together. The last time I could be around the smell of beer without vomiting.

“Matt?”

The glass door slides open and Violet walks out. She runs her fingers through her black hair and gives me a tipsy smile. I scoot over to make room for her to lie down.

“Do you need a jacket?”

“No, I’m not cold.” She snuggles next to me, resting her head on my shoulder, and her hair spills over the side of the chair. I reach up my hand and begin to run my fingers through the strands. “Why are you out here by yourself?”

“I needed fresh air.”

“Oh.”

Loud screams come from inside. Followed by, “Drink, drink, drink …” I look over my shoulder and see Josh holding up the hose to the beer bong with a circle of people standing around him. He finishes and throws the hose to the ground and the room breaks out in applause.

Everything will be fine. Just as long as nobody drives.

I’ll make sure of it.

I look down at Violet and see her eyes are drifting closed, like she’s falling asleep. “Maybe we should get out of here,” I offer.

Her eyes widen. “No, I can’t leave without Hannah. I promised her I’d stay. She and Brian are fighting and she’s trying to make amends. Not that I think she’ll have much luck. But I promised her I’d stay so she could at least give it a try.”

“Hannah will be okay on her own.”

Violet leans up on her elbow and smiles at me. “No she won’t. I promised her I’d stay. Plus, there’s no rush. Let’s stay and have fun.” Then she leans down and kisses me. Her lips are warm against mine. I rest my hand on the curve of her back, glad for this second chance.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Matt

Later that night we sit around the bonfire. Josh picks up another can of beer. He punches a hole in the side and holds it over his mouth. I don’t understand why he let me drive. We were all too wasted to go out that night.

This time is different. I’m not chugging beers and I have my eyes on everyone around me.

According to Lisa I need to change just enough to get a different outcome. That should be easy: Winn Theory says it doesn’t take much to change the trajectory of time. I can only change what’s on the list: she gave me firm orders.

“Hey, man.” I join Josh on opposite side of the bonfire. “What’s going on over here?”

Last time I didn’t say a word.

He crunches the can in his hand. It folds into a wrinkled up piece of aluminum. He tosses the crushed can on the ground and it glows, reflecting the light from the fire.

“Drinking up.”

I look around the bonfire at the glowing faces. Everyone’s talking but it sounds all blurred together. It sounds more like a noise than individual words. Violet is on the other side of the fire. She is everything I remember. I know I won’t be able to let her go.

“Maybe you should drink some water.” I stand up. “I’ll go over and get you a bottle.”

“What are you man? A pussy? Since when did you start caring about what I drink?”

“I just don’t want things getting out of hand.”

“Why do you say that? I’m not driving.”

“I just think we shouldn’t over do it tonight.”

He grabs my arm and pulls me back down next to him. His smile is all loopy. Nobody is going home for awhile. “Nobody is driving. We’re all spending the night.”

That’s how it is at every party. Nobody will drive, everybody will spend the night, leave your keys at the door. But then someone gets the idea that they need to go home. Someone’s mom calls on their cell phone and threatens a multi-month grounding, or a couple gets in a fight and she storms out of the room. It never ends the way it’s supposed to.

“You’re right, everybody should spend the night. Everyone’s so blasted. No one should drive home.”

Josh nods his head. Good, everybody agrees. Maybe I don’t have anything to worry about after all.

***

Since no one is driving, I return to the lounge chair, listening to the buzz of a good time happen around me. Violet has wandered back into the house to hang out with Hannah, who’s having some sort of boyfriend crisis. That’s Violet; always looking out for her friends. The sound of laughter grows quieter inside.

Tom walks outside and spots me on the chair and waves me into the house.

I get up and walk over. “What’s up?”

“You have to come in and see the highlight reel from last football season. Ryan has it up on Josh’s computer. Remember that run you did in the last ten seconds of the game against Jefferson? You should see it on tape. Dude, you look fast!”

“Okay, sure.” I follow Tom into the house. Violet is still talking to Hannah. I give her a little wave. She smiles and waves back. Everyone is safe inside. Just the way they should be.

***

Ryan has Josh’s computer on with highlights from last season. He’s has picked most of his own plays. He’s watching himself with intensity. When he hears us enter the room, he jumps.

“Hey, pussy,” Tom laughs. “Why don’t you stop jerking off while you watch yourself and show Matt the recording of the play he made against Jefferson last year.”

Ryan scrunches his face without saying a word. He pulls up the video of the tape.

I hate watching myself. I’m not like Ryan. I like to play and be done with the game. The game is fun. The game is an adrenalin rush. Watching the highlights I could do without.

Ryan starts playing the video. I pretend like I’m interested. I take a few steps back and look out the office door to look for Violet. The noise from the kitchen has died down. I’m getting ready to walk out to check on her when Kyle walks in with a phone in his hand.

“Hey, Josh is on the phone. They went on a pizza run and want to know if you want them to bring anything back.”