Ash (41 page)

The weeks rolled by so fast, it was a little daunting trying to catch my breath. My transfer came through just in time. Although I was excited about the move, there was still a little part of me clinging to old wounds.

Maybe it was nerves. Who knew? I had to man up and face what the future had in store for me.

With less than a day until saying goodbye to a city I loved, I found myself at the one place I always came to when things burdened me.

“I’m sure you’re well aware of things,” I whispered as I stood at the grave.

I glanced at the cloudless sky above me and let out a long breath. It hurt the most when I looked at her name on the headstone. Connie never should have died. She was too young, and had so much to live for.

“It feels so permanent,” I muttered. “I never thought I’d leave, you know. It’s like a magnet continuously pulls me toward your memory, and that’s what scares me the most.” I paused and stared the fresh flowers. “You’d like Sophia. She’s a lot like you, in some ways, and the complete opposite in others. Jake loves her. He wants to feel the love of a mother figure, and he deserves it, but he misses you every single day. There are times when I feel I can’t answer some of those questions he loves to ask, but I give it my best shot, and he seems pretty content.”

I could feel the hard lump at the back of my throat and felt sick to my stomach.

“Connie, we did good. Jake’s your legacy and that will never be replaced. I promise you. I just need you to be happy for me, happy that I found someone who could help me move on.” I hated myself for even hearing the words leave my mouth. “But I have so many demons, I worry that I will slip up and ruin everything. You knew the kind of man I was when we married. You’d been there though all the battles, the internal struggles, and you were the strongest of us both. It’s because of you that I’ve become a better man, but I am flawed, and nothing will ever change that.”

I stood in silence as the tears fell. I was saying goodbye to her, ready to start a new life, and not a single part of me wasn’t affected.

Resting my hand on the cold black stone, I closed my eyes and whispered, “I love you. I always will. Watch over us.”

As I turned my back and walked away, I crumbled inside, but it was different this time. It wasn’t grief. There was no crippling pain. The walls finally crashed down and my life was beginning again.

In a way, it was my rebirth.

My mother cried as she kissed Jake for the hundredth time. “Promise me you’ll be good for your daddy.”

“I promise,” Jake replied, rubbing his cheek.

Michelle wrapped her arms around me, trying not to cry, but her quivering lip gave her away.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for us,” I muttered. “You know you are welcome anytime.”

“I know,” she replied, wiping her eyes. “You just make sure you’re happy, okay?”

“I’ll try,” I replied, and kissed her cheek.

My father cleared his throat. “Well, son,” he said. “You make sure you drive carefully and check in with us every now and then.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And make sure Sophia knows she’s welcome to the family,” he continued.

“I will.” I choked back the urge to ball like a baby.

My father extended his arm, and we exchanged a handshake before hugging.

“Never think that you aren’t loved,” he muttered, and I understood his meaning.

“I know, Dad. I’ve never doubted your love. Thanks for not putting up with my bullshit,” I said as tears filled my eyes.

“I’m proud of you, son.” He let go of me and stepped back, wiping his face with his handkerchief.

Danny grinned, but I could tell he was avoiding having to make eye contact with me. He wasn’t the best person when it came to goodbyes, and if truth be told, neither was I.

“So, we finally part ways.” I jabbed his arm with a closed fist.

“About damned time,” he responded, and met my gaze. “You better not mess up down there.”

“That’s not my style.”

“Yeah, well.” He held his hand out to me. “Get used to having a frequent visitor.”

“You know it.”

We hugged tight. It was odd even considering a day when I wouldn’t see him, or have his company. It was going to be tough, but I had a feeling he’d stay true to his words and visit often.

Jake wrapped his arms around Danny’s leg and stared up at him. “I love you, Uncle Danny.”

“Damn you, kid,” he replied, and lifted Jake into his arms, visibly moved as he gave in to his own emotions. He squeezed his eyes shut, and his forehead creased. He set Jake into his booster seat and kissed the top of his head. “You be good for your old man, okay?”

Jake nodded and grinned as Danny closed the door.

This was one of the hardest moments of my life. I thought nothing would come close to how I felt when I laid my beautiful Connie to rest, but this was a close second.

My mother took my hands in hers. She didn’t hold back and sobbed, running her thumb across the back of my hand.

“My beautiful, boy,” she said. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I know, Mom, but remember, I’m not that far away.” I tried to ease the burden.

She wiped her eyes and forced a smile. “But far enough.”

“Mom, please don’t make this any harder.” I choked back the sob.

“I’m sorry, honey. You drive carefully and call me as soon as you get there. Okay?”

I nodded.

“And for the love of God, make sure you eat properly, and none of that frozen food garbage,” she said, and smiled.

“I think I’ve got the bases covered.”

I pulled her into my arms and kissed the top of her head. “Thanks for always being my biggest champion. I love you,” I whispered.

As I let her go, I stared at her and my family. A tight knot gripped me from inside.

“Jesus Christ.” I groaned. “I’m not good at this stuff, so I’ll be seeing you. I’ll call once we stop over in Memphis.”

I refused to say anything else. I got in the truck, the U-Haul trailer attached to the rear, and drove off, leaving everyone I loved behind.

“Is this the start of our adventure?” Jake asked.

“It sure is, buddy,” I replied, glancing in the mirror, watching my parents become nothing more than silhouettes in the distance.

It may have been one of the hardest decisions of my life, but knowing Sophia was waiting for me in New Orleans was enough to ease the ache. All my indiscretions would become distant memories. Granted, they’d always be there, but with the love of a good woman, I was sure to find some kind of inner peace. I was owed a little bit of something good. The rest would have to fall into place.

I had just finished a long shift, and Jake was fast asleep in bed by the time I got in.

“You look tired,” she remarked, popping the top of a beer and handing it to me.

“Yup, it was one of those days.”

She smiled and kissed my cheek.

“What’s that for?”

Shaking her head, she laughed. “No reason. I just felt like it.”

“Then, how about you come here and do it right?” I teased, and drew her into my arms.

I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and pulled her face to mine. It was gentle, at first.

She held onto my back, her nails trailing over the material of my shirt.

I broke the kiss and ran my fingers through her hair, whispering in her ear. “Nothing is ever going to take you from my side.”

She tilted her head back and gazed up at me with those gorgeous dark eyes of hers. “Good,” she replied. “Because you’re stuck with me.”

Throughout the twelve months since we moved in together, our life seemed to fall into place. Sophia brought a sense of security to Jake’s life, and for that, I would always be grateful. When it came to my own feelings, I could never imagine life without her. Who would have thought that someone who was the complete opposite of me could impact my world in a way I was never prepared for?

I gazed into her eyes and saw her pupils dilate. She had the devil inside her, and I couldn’t get enough of her.

“And I think we should take this discussion further,” I said, before kissing her nose.

“Really?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Get up to the bedroom, now.” I slapped her ass, and she giggled as I ran after her.

I checked on Jake, and he gently snored, before I closed the door to his room.

“Is he okay?”

I locked our bedroom door and nodded. “He’s off dreaming about superheroes.”

“Good, because I’ve been daydreaming all day,” she purred.

“Enlighten me.”

She lifted her top over her head and threw it at my face. Unhooking her bra, she dropped it to the floor and stood inches from me.

I wanted nothing more than to suck her nipples, to taste her and feel her soft flesh in my mouth.

“Does this send the right message?” she asked, undoing the buckle of my belt.

I traced soft circles around her nipples, tweaking them gently, at first, then harder. “It’s a start.” I lowered my head to her breasts, licking and sucking them.

She sighed and moved slightly as my tongue left a trail of moisture on her breast.

Desire made my cock twitch.

“You intoxicate me,” I muttered, unbuttoning her shorts and pushing them down over her knees, helping her step out of them.

Her lips parted. A gentle sigh escaped her.

I slipped my finger in under the elastic of her thong. I traced along the waistband, teasing her as I kissed the inside of her thighs.

“Touch it,” she whispered, bucking her hips forward.

Resting my palm on her upper thigh, I brushed my thumb across the wet spot between her legs.

She jerked and exhaled, running her hand over my head.

I took my time rubbing her clit. Her breathing got heavier, and she whimpered a little when I increased my pace.

“Ooooh, yeah.” She moaned. “Just like that.”

Not one to disappoint, I flicked her clit, enjoying the sounds spilling from her parted lips.

“Oh, God, Ash.” She sighed. “I’m cumming.”

Her eyes rolled back into her head. I smiled as I watched the climax gripping her. She writhed in ecstasy.

“Fuck, you’re so sexy when you cum.” I growled and stood, pulling her into my arms and kissing her hard.

Unfastening my jeans, we made light work of them, and I soon stood naked by the side of the bed.

Sophia pushed me back until I was lying down. She removed her panties and straddled me.

“I’ve been thinking about fucking you all day,” she said, planting small kisses upon my neck.

“Is that right?”

“Yes,” she replied, reaching down and taking a hold of my cock, easing it inside her. “I had to take a personal moment to relieve myself of my desires.”

“Did it help?” I gripped her hips as she moved up and down on me.

“Hmmm, a little.” She kissed me. “But it only made me want you more.”

Fuck! I thought as she fucked me hard.

“Oh, God,” she muttered. “You feel so good.”

It was incredible watching the woman I loved taking control, using me for her own needs, getting me off in the process.

Harder and faster.

Back and forth.

Sophia’s momentum increased.

I reached up, grasped her breasts and grunted.

Sweat beaded across her brow.

“If you keep doing that, I’m going to shoot my load,” I muttered, tweaking her nipples between my fingers.

She smiled, licking her lips. “That’s the plan.” She rotated her hips, spreading her knees a little more. Tossing her head back, she rocked up and down, softly moaning.

“Yes . . . yes . . . Oh, Ash.” She gasped. “I’m gonna . . .”

Her muscles clamped around my cock. She rode me hard through the peak of her orgasm, forcing me into my own climax.

“Fuck.” I groaned.

Her velvet walls milked my squirting cock.

We gasped for breath as we came down from the heights of pleasure.

Sophia leaned over me, kissing me and touching my cheeks. “I love you,” she whispered.

“Baby, I love you, too,” I replied.

I held onto her, running my hand up and down her soft back, listening to her breathing.