Ashby Holler (12 page)

“What?”

“Sasha’s gonna have to run all this one day, but Ellen can’t just give it to her. Sasha has to work her way up, know every aspect of the club. She has so much potential.” Otis lit his cigarette, nodding to the open front door. “The girls are in there cooking breakfast. You should grab some grub and hit the sack.”

Vinny searched for Sasha beyond the rocky hill but only found an empty lot. So bare, this compound, without her smile to fill it. He considered giving chase, until the scent of bacon encircled him like a lasso. The aroma and the sounds of muffled laughter and low music beckoned him. He tore his gaze from Sasha’s little room above the garage, walking inside the big house.

Chapter Fourteen

Sasha

Sasha had to do a double take. The sight of Dez crashed out in her bed, naked, didn’t sink in the first time. Quietly, she shut her door and crept inside. Sun spilled through the side of her shaded window, lighting the muscles hidden under Dez’s bright ink. Flames, skulls, barbed wire. His body, a skin canvas of wicked art.

While backing away, she slinked out of her jacket and turned toward the bathroom.

“Sasha?”

Her light steps halted. She peeked over her shoulder as Dez wormed under the covers.

“Hey,” Sasha said. A smile snuck onto her lips, and she tried so hard to hold it back that it turned to a frown.

“I’m sorry.” Dez sat up, gesturing to the bed. “Your door was unlocked and I—”

“It’s cool. You can crash here as long as you need to.” Sasha turned away, rolling her eyes. That just slipped out. She didn’t want him crashing in her room. Her gaze drifted back to Dez’s solid chest, those rippling abs.

“I’m gonna shower,” Sasha said, hurrying into the bathroom.

After shutting the door and blasting the water, Sasha slumped against the wall. “What the fuck was that?” she mumbled, ripping off her clothes.

Halfway through the shampoo cycle, it hit her. She hadn’t tossed Dez out on his ass because she wanted to crawl in bed next to him. She actually needed his strong arms to hold her defeated body and strengthen her will.

“Oh God,” Sasha groaned under the rush of flowing water.

In near record time, she shaved, washed, and dressed. Then she stood there, in front of the bathroom door, staring at the brass knob. Droplets tumbled from her tangled hair, splashing her toes, but she just stared. The lump in her throat wouldn’t budge. Grumbles, huffs, nothing unclogged her airways.

Two failed attempts and a slap on the forehead later, Sasha yanked the door open. Her tight shoulders sagged, lips bunching when finding an empty room. Relief rushed in, overshadowing the disappointment and bringing her back to the usual hollow shell.

She grabbed her brush and sat on the edge of her bed. The door squeaked open, and Dez walked in, holding a plate of food.

“Hungry?” he asked, flashing a short stack of pancakes.

“Dude!” The brush slipped from Sasha’s hand as she jumped up. She wrapped two pieces of sausage in a pancake then took a big bite. “This is, like, the best ever,” she said between chomps.

“You eat like an animal.”

Sasha closed her mouth, wiping her lips with the back of her hand. “Sorry.” This time, she finished chewing then swallowed hard. “It’s just so good.”

Dez held out the plate, and Sasha snatched it from his hand, dropping back onto the bed.

“Where’s Vinny?” Dez asked, peering out the window.

“He’s crashing in his old room, at the big house. Didn’t you see him when you went up there?”

“I didn’t go up there. Some chick put that in my hand when I was having a smoke.”

“Probably Lacy,” Sasha said, crossing her legs to balance the plate in her lap. “She’s always here. Carts the girls around, cooks like a goddess.”

“Vinny has a room in Ellen’s house?”

“Yeah. He lived here for a while.” Sasha nibbled on a piece of bacon, gazing up at Dez as he stared out the window. “After you went away and your mom split, he was on his own. We took him in before the state could get him. Didn’t he tell you any of this?”

Dez shook his head, eyes low.

“What do you guys talk about?” Sasha asked, wiping her hands on her pants. “When you’re alone.”

“I don’t know,” Dez said, turning away from the window. “Rebuilding motors and shit.”

She snickered, plopping the half-eaten plate on her nightstand. “Dudes are ridiculous.”

“Did he graduate?”

“No.” Sasha walked into the bathroom, grabbing her toothbrush. “I couldn’t go back to school after…you know, with my shit all busted up, and Vinny didn’t want to go without me. We just hung out here, doing chores until we made prospect. Then the chores got dirtier.”

Sasha gazed at Dez’s reflection in the mirror while brushing her teeth. He looked so sad. All these years, he never once crossed her mind. His name was unspoken in the club, but he’d been thinking about them.

“Sasha. I’m sor—”

“No!” She rinsed her mouth, walking from the bathroom. “I don’t hold a grudge about that day. You guys just did what you were told. I get that now.”

“You shouldn’t have to get that. You and my brother should’ve finished high school, went to prom together, and got hitched.”

“What crazy world are you living in? That was never gonna be my life or his.” Sasha crept closer, but the levels of rage in Dez’s stare held her back. “You couldn’t have changed much, if you were here.” She reached for his hand, just as he stomped toward the door. “Where are you going?”

Dez flung open the door, stopping in the threshold. “I’m supposed to work up a strike plan with Ellen. Half of Satan’s Crew is combing the roads for your truck. We’re gonna hit ‘em hard, draw ‘em back so you can move out tomorrow morning.”

“Dez…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll find somewhere else to sleep.”

Glares of sunlight veiled the sour look on Dez’s face as he stepped outside, slamming the door behind him. Sasha stood in the middle of the room and shrugged. “Dudes. Are. Ridiculous.”

Sleep could take her where she stood, and she’d let it. A long sigh flowed from her chest as she stretched, falling backward onto her bed. Two seconds of fluffy pillows. That was all it took to root her in place.

***

Nails tore at Sasha’s insides. A tiny hand pressed on her stomach from the inside, raising her skin as little fingers ripped from within.

Sasha sat up in bed, gasping. She yanked up her shirt, running her palm along her stomach. Smooth skin, ripples of muscle, no hand.

Relief only lasted seconds, replaced by a burn that rose from her chest and settled in the back of her throat. She bolted from the bed and slid across the bathroom floor, lifting the toilet’s lid just in time for her breakfast to come back up. Her shaky hands clutched porcelain as she pushed herself off the floor.

Sasha leaned over the sink, flipping on the faucet. The rush of flowing water pulled her stare, calmed the shudder of bones, and soothed her mind. She splashed her face then peered into the mirror.

“Uh, gross.” Dark circles puffed the skin under her eyes, refusing to fade despite her many attempts to rub them away. She shut off the water, grabbed a towel, and walked out of the bathroom. The whirl in her stomach slowed, strength returning to her limbs with every step. A few hits from that doobie on the nightstand and her head would be on straight.

Before Sasha’s fingers could graze the tightly wrapped paper, a red light caught her eye. Somewhere beneath the clutter of empty cigarette packs, dusty bandanas, and unopened mail, a light blinked from an unseen answering machine. Sasha reached for the mess, doubled back for the joint, lit it, and then dove in to find her lost machine.

Two quick puffs and a press of a button later, soft clicks filled the room before the message played. “Hey, Sasha. It’s Candy…I heard about the fire and stuff. I just wanted to hear your voice, make sure you’re okay. Sorry I bothered you.” And with a click, the hum of a tape rewinding replaced Candy’s silky voice.

Sasha stared at the phone, smoke rolling from her mouth. Candy. Her first love and constant source of misery. She’d taken two beatings and a million crooked glares for that girl, but the damn feelings, which she told herself not to feel, only grew stronger.

Twice Sasha reached for the phone, her fingers never making it to the receiver. She took another hit, grumbling through the exhale.

“Fuck it,” she said, picking up the phone.

The now-tiny roach burned away in the ashtray as Sasha punched buttons. When the line rang, her throat sealed closed. She moved the receiver away from her ear, slowly lowering it toward its base when Candy answered.

Sasha thrust the phone to her head, clunking plastic to skull. “Hey, Candy.”

“Oh, Sasha! God, I was so worried. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Busy.”

“The whole town is talking about the fire and the shootings. I just, like, wish I could see you.”

“You’re not banned. You can stop by any time you want.” Silence lingered, and Sasha searched the mountain of cigarette packs for a fresh one. Something told her she’d need a smoke for what was about to come streaming through the phone. “If you don’t want to come around anymore—”

“No! I do,” Candy said, pausing for the inevitable but. “But Otis said I should lay low for a while, that things aren’t safe around the clubhouse right now.”

“Otis?” Sasha froze, her lighter inches from the unlit cigarette in her mouth. “So, what? Are you guys, like, a thing now?” After another bout of piercing silence, she lit her cigarette and drew in the thick smoke. “Hello?”

“Yeah. We’re sorta, kinda together. He’s really sweet to me. Sasha—”

“Don’t.” Sasha shook her head, which did nothing to soothe the sting left by betrayal. “It’s cool.” The words came out through clenched teeth but thankfully sounded casual, at least in her head. “And Otis is right. It’s probably not a good time to chill here.” She hopped up, pacing within the cord’s limit. “We’ll have another party soon. I’ll just see you then. Later.”

Before one syllable could stream through the phone, Sasha slammed the receiver down. Glass bottles clinked together as she mashed her cigarette out. “Sounds about right. Who could turn down a road captain?”

Sasha tore through heaps of dirty clothes, stopping at the first pair of tan cargo pants. “I don’t care. Why should I care?” After sliding into the pants, she pulled off her t-shirt and flung it across the room. “Bitch didn’t waste no time.” She grabbed a black tank top and lifted it to her nose. The stench of blood and whiskey, a combination she once loved, turned her stomach. She pitched the shirt over her shoulder and snatched another near identical top. “Whatever. She can live that lie.” In a huff, Sasha pulled the tank down over her chest. “Got me talking to myself like a fucking freak.”

Empty beer bottles rattled in every corner as Sasha stomped across the room. She yanked her door open, a cool breeze sweeping along her bare arms. The chill went straight to her heart, spiking in waves. Sadness, regret, anger topped in a rolling crest and nearly crushed her. She looked at her leather jacket crumpled on the floor, orange flames riding along its sleeve.

“Don’t forget your skin,” Sasha muttered. Her body wilted, and she trudged back into her room, scooping her heavy coat off the floor.

***

Thin beams of sunlight cut through the trees up the hillside, leaving Sasha in the remnants of day. She strolled across a deserted lot, avoiding the pile of blackened metal to her right, and crept up the clubhouse steps.

She stopped just outside the threshold and peeked inside. It seemed…bigger without hairy-assed locals parked on barstools and lonely in the absence of long legs and tight minis. A step closer and she glimpsed into the backroom. Her eyes zeroed in on Dez. A lock of his tangled hair glided down his wide shoulder, and the corners of her lips raised. She cringed, backing away. Butterflies? That couldn’t be butterflies in her stomach at the sight of a…man.

“What the fuck?” Sasha mumbled into her palm.

“What?” Vinny said from behind her. “What the fuck?”

A gasp carried Sasha around in a whirl. “Vinny!” Her balled fist loosened, and she whacked him on the chest. “You scared the shit outta me.”

“What’s going on in the backroom?”

Vinny stepped toward the door, and Sasha grabbed onto his arm, pulling him outside.

“It’s just club BS,” she said, practically dragging Vinny across the porch.

“Shouldn’t we be a part of that?”

Sasha slumped onto the bench, staring at the town’s lights in the distance. “I’m not ready to deal with all that yet.”

“I know what you need.”

Wood shifted as Vinny sat beside her. She turned to face him, finding a freshly rolled joint and a smile.

“Awesome.” Sasha leaned over, bumping Vinny with her shoulder. “Spark it.”

They puffed and passed as the last of the sun’s rays fell under darkness.

“You look better,” Vinny said, leaning forward to better stare at her in the low light.

Sasha turned from the glimmer of fireflies and blew a cloud of smoke in his face.

Vinny exhaled, blowing the smoke back her way. “You even got a little pink in your cheeks.”

His finger drifted toward her face, and she slapped it away.

“That’s because I’m pissed,” Sasha said, handing Vinny the joint.

“What’s new?”

“Asshole.” Sasha snatched the roach from Vinny’s grasp, grinning as she took a hit. The smile faded when the cherry reached her fingertips, burning skin. “I talked to Candy.” She squished the red-hot tip between her fingers, grinding its heat into tender flesh.