Ashes to Ashes (Experiment in Terror #8) (8 page)

Holy fucking shit. Was that
true? I’d only met Dex eight months ago? It felt like I’d known him
for years, ages, eternity. After everything we’d been through…every
episode, every experience, it fused our souls together, time be
damned.

“
It feels
longer than that,” I said feebly. But I wouldn’t let him, my
parents, win this argument. I straightened up in my seat and looked
my uncle in the eye. “But so what? Lots of couples move in together
when the moment is right. It’s different for every relationship. It
doesn’t have to be a big deal.”

“
It will turn
into a big deal when you commit to someone you realize you don’t
know at all. I’m divorced for a reason. Don’t think I didn’t think
like you at one point.”

I gave him a funny look. “I
live with Dex, Uncle Al. That’s it. We’re not getting married.
We’ve barely discussed the future at all. Calm down.”

His eyes widened for a split
second. “He’s thirty-two. You’re twenty-three.”

“
Age doesn’t
matter.”

“
It does
sometimes. It does when you assume that just because you’re not
thinking of the future doesn’t mean he isn’t.”

I nearly laughed. Uncle Al
clearly didn’t know Dex at all. “He just got out of a long-term
relationship. He’s not thinking about that shit.”

“
And are
you?”

I stared at the wisps of steam
coming off the mug of tea. Christ, I didn’t know what I was
thinking half the time. I wasn’t about to tell him about my white
picket fence idea, the conversation we had about doing something
after EIT, about houses in Seaside, Boston, or wherever I said. I
wasn’t going to tell him about the maternal instinct that started
kicking about when I saw him being a fur baby daddy to Fat
Rabbit.

“
I…”I started.
“I’m just playing it by ear.”

He shook his head slightly.
“You’re in love, Perry. You’re head over heels. You’re playing it
by heart, not ear. Like you always do.”

“
Well what the
hell do you want me to say? If I say I think about a future with
him, you’ll get mad, and if I say I don’t, you’ll call me a
liar.”

His eyes softened and reached
out for my hand across the table. “Bella, please. I’m not mad. I
just want to pull you out of it for just a moment, just so you can
look at it from a different angle. There are so many things in life
that make us happy in the short term. These cookies, for example,”
he said, picking up the tray. “But in the long term, they can hurt
you.”

“
Maybe I’m
tired of everyone always worrying about me getting hurt,” I said
snidely, crossing my arms.

“
Maybe we’re
worried because you are always getting hurt,” he said, “and a
person can only get hurt so many times before it really starts to
ruin them.”

“
Alberto, are
you coming to bed?” Marda asked, appearing at the doorway in a silk
night robe, a sleep mask smeared on her face.

“
Just a
minute, darling,” he said, flashing her his smile.

“
No more
cookies,” she said, wagging her finger at him. “You have to watch
your heart.”

When she left, he looked at me
and sighed. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m just looking out for
you as I always do. Wasn’t I right about Seattle? About you going
to stay with him and his girlfriend?”

I mumbled that he was. “But it
doesn’t mean you’re right about this. I love Dex. I know him inside
and out.”

“
You
know him as much as you can know someone for eight months,” he
said. “Just don’t forget that. And don’t forget that most of that
time, he was with someone
else
.” He eased himself out of
the chair, leaving me with that extremely sobering
thought.

He kissed me on the head
goodnight and then shuffled off toward his room. I sat there at the
table, drinking my hot tea until it was gone, apprehensive now
about going to see Dex. I hated that my uncle—and by extension, my
parents—were able to instill this doubt in me.

Had I really only known Dex, my
Dex, my Declan Foray, for less than a year? The last two months of
us living together, that was the only time we were actually
together as a couple. Plus we started up hot on the heels of his
last relationship, one that lasted three fucking years. No wonder
my parents were so against the whole thing. No wonder my uncle was.
Aside from the people who knew us best like Rebecca, Dean, and Ada,
our relationship must look batshit crazy to the rest of the
world.

Then again, what else was
new?

I took in a deep breath, trying
to calm my nerves, then placed the cup of tea in the sink. I
wondered if Rebecca was up and ready for a chat, but the lights in
the living room were out. I reluctantly made my way to the bathroom
and then finally the guest bedroom.

I carefully slipped into bed,
not knowing if Dex was asleep. I wanted to talk to him—I wanted to
know what he talked to Uncle Al about and if it was anywhere near
as brutal as it was for me. But I heard him snoring lightly,
brought on by all the beers, and decided to leave it for another
day. I turned my back to him, our asses touching each other but our
upper bodies far apart.

CHAPTER FIVE

I was on a bluff, overlooking
the sea. I didn’t know how I was there, but I was. The grass was
cool beneath my feet, the wind sweeping off the blackened ocean was
rich with salt and chilled.

I’d been here before. Was I
dreaming?

I looked down at my body and
saw I was barefoot and in a simple, plain nightgown. The déjà vu
was back in full force all over again, transporting me back to
September. But instead of being beside a lighthouse, there was
nothing there except the burnt remains and a few pieces of
foundation.

I had to be dreaming. I never
owned a nightgown like that, and the only time I ever did was when
I was caught in a nightmare. I half expected the shriveled face of
Old Roddy to appear, to remind me that what happened here, what
started it all, was only eight months ago.

But he never came. He never
popped up. As far as I could tell, I was alone. It was just me and
that dark, wide expanse of the Pacific, beckoning me like a gaping
mouth.

I stared at the ocean, those
obsidian waves that crashed at the shore below, wondering if this
was all there was to it. Then, after some time, I knew it was all
beginning.

A child’s giggle came from
behind me and the punchy sound of a rubber ball being kicked. I
turned around to see nothing but the lighthouse remains and the
dewy grass that stretched back into the forest of thick trees.
There was no child, there was no ball. But that didn’t mean
anything.

Suddenly I heard quick
footsteps behind me and the feeling of someone running past,
brushing against my legs. Right before my eyes I saw a child form
from thin air—a young girl—who ran after a ball. She squealed as
she went, her attention devoted to getting the ball and nothing
else.

At least it seemed that way
until she reached it and kicked it off into the forest. The girl
stopped, and in her brief stillness I could make out her fine
features, her long dark hair and neatly tied bow at the back, her
plain dress and shiny shoes. She was no doubt a ghost—her
complexion was more than pale and there was a slight transparency
about her, but I still couldn’t tell if I was really seeing her or
if it was all in my head. My dreams had always been prophetic, but
since the one that Pippa appeared in the other day, it was hard to
tell if they were real or not.

No wonder my parents were so
concerned about me losing my mind. It never really ended, did
it?

The ghost dream girl cocked her
head at me and I could see her eyes were nothing but black marbles,
the soulless ones that ripped into you. “Can you go after my ball?”
she asked, her accent untraceable but her words properly
enunciated.

I swallowed thickly and shook
my head. I’d been in that forest before, in real life, and it was
terrifying as hell. Fuck that noise.

“
But I need my
ball,” the girl said, her tone becoming harder. I noticed her
little hands tightening into fists as the rest of her became more
solid and less see-through.

“
I’m sorry,” I
said meekly, my voice echoing. “I don’t want to go in
there.”

The girl glared at me and
flipped her hair over her shoulder before she started marching
over. “You will go in there and get my ball.”

She stopped a few yards away,
and it was only then that I noticed a large spot of blood forming
on one side of her chest, spreading slowly like a blooming rose.
“You’re not really here, are you? Not yet?”

I frowned, not sure what to say
to that.

The girl took a neat step
forward, her hands clasped at her middle. “Or are you? Are you here
to play with us?”

Without warning, a large gust
of wind blasted at my back, whipping my hair into my face. When I
finally brushed it out of my eyes, I saw Pippa standing between me
and the young girl. Just like in my dream before she was looking
tired and pale, her thin body hidden by a coat. Her attention was
entirely on the girl.

“
You get away
from here,” Pippa said to her. “You leave her alone. She is not
yours.”

“
But she can
see me,” the girl said matter-of-factly, a devious twinkle in those
cold black eyes.

“
Go,” Pippa
said, her voice louder and almost animalistic. The young girl stuck
out her tongue but trotted after the ball, disappearing into thin
air right before the trees. Pippa faced me with a weary
expression.

“
They keep
finding you, don’t they?”

“
I don’t get
it,” I said. “Am I dreaming again? Is this real?”

“
You are
dreaming but it is real,” she said. “This is the safest way I can
get to you. The Thin Veil is too risky.”

I gestured wildly to the
forest. “Then who the hell was that little girl?”

She gave me a slight smile. “I
am not the only one who can get to you this way. You know this.
Your dreams have always been very powerful, Perry, always. You’ve
seen and experienced things that eventually happened to you. Every
day you’re alive and embracing who you are, you’re opening yourself
more and more.”

“
So what about
what you said before…about having to watch out?”

“
I don’t think
you should be here, Perry.”

“
Dreaming?”

“
Doing the
show. Not right now. It’s just a feeling I have…”

“
I can’t keep
going on your feelings. I have a life to live too, a living to
make.”

She reached out and grabbed my
hand. Hers felt so delicate, thin and cold. “I know. But you’re not
in a good place right now. You’re the strongest when you are strong
and right now you are weak. You’re succumbing to worry and
insecurity.”

“
That’s me,
like ninety-nine percent of the time.”

“
Darling,
please. I wish I could offer you more than just a feeling but you
have to take it to heart. Go home. Go back to Seattle. Go be with
Dex and concentrate on your life there.”

“
But the show
is my life, at least for now. It’s just a few days of filming,
we’ve done this a million times before. When this is done, we will
go back to Seattle. After we stop by my parents first. I’ve
apparently got a lot of explaining to do.”

Her eyes widened with
intensity, her mouth becoming tight. “No. No, don’t do that.”

My heart started thudding
around in my chest at her sudden change in tone. She was starting
to freak me the fuck out. “No? What do you mean, no? It’s my mom.
Your daughter. I haven’t seen her or my dad or Ada for months.”

She shook her head. “No. I
don’t know why but I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s...too
much. It’s too easy. Everyone in the same place, all the eggs in
one basket.”

Now she was starting to sound
like Creepy Clown Lady. “You’re not making any sense.”

“
I know I’m
not making sense. But it’s wrong. It’s wrong. It’s bad.”

“
And the show,
filming here, that’s not the problem anymore?”

She shook her head still, her
thin curls flinging around. She started wringing her hands
together. “No. It’s all wrong. You need to go back home.”

“
Just tell me
why!” I exclaimed, almost stamping my feet.

“
I don’t
know!” she yelled back. Her eyes dropped to the ground.

A light ticked on in my head.
“Are you afraid of my mom and I making up?”

She didn’t say anything for a
long time, just staring at the grass beneath us. Another breeze
blew past, my nightgown billowing around me.

“
Are you
afraid that if my mom and I make amends, that you’ll lose an ally
in me? That I’ll turn against you?” I asked, studying her face. I
took a step forward. “You know I’ll never forget what my mother did
to you.”

I tried to reach out and touch
her but she yanked herself out of my reach and stared up at me with
frightened eyes. “Don’t go. It’s too much in one place.”

She still didn’t make
sense but it didn’t matter. She
was
worried that my mom and I
might make up. She probably feared that I would shun her or that my
mom would do the same to me as she did to her. It explained why she
looked so frightened.

“
Pippa,” I
said slowly, hoping to convince her not to worry. I knew what was
best for myself. But my grandmother was already fading before my
eyes.