Ashlyn's Radio (16 page)

Not that things were bad between her and Maudette. The cold shoulder her grandmother had been giving her had thawed considerably. But without coming right out and saying it, Ashlyn was almost completely certain her grandmother knew she’d sneaked out last Friday night. The old girl had certainly dropped enough hints (including a reference to needing to ‘nail the windows shut around here’). But nothing had come of it.

Yet.

But it wasn’t until Maudette had announced her intention to go away for the weekend that Ashlyn realized how much she’d missed her alone time. Blessed, blessed alone time, of which she seemed to have precious little in Prescott Junction. 

In Toronto, there were always a couple hours after school when she’d had the apartment to herself. When she could curl up and veg out. And sometimes her mother would go out and she’d have the place to herself all evening. Though Leslie Caverhill hadn’t exactly been a social butterfly, she did go out on the occasional date. And sometimes the law firm where her mother worked would give their staff tickets for Massey Hall performances. Her mom had loved those nights. She and a few of her co-workers would get dolled up and go to see a world-class performance. Dinner beforehand, a glass of wine after the show. It was on those nights as Ashlyn watched her mother getting ready that she realized how young Leslie was. How full of life she could be. How much she must have sacrificed to raise her daughter alone.

Ashlyn missed her. A lot.

But she’d be doing something about that soon enough.

But frankly, it wasn’t just the alone time Ashlyn was looking forward to. Nor was it the first thing that sprang to mind. Rather, it was the alone-time-with-Caden that had her stomach doing that sick/giddy/wonderful flipping thing.

These days when Caden came to see to the dogs, she dashed out to “help” him. They got the work done in record time, and then, if Maudette didn’t come out, they made out like crazy. Nothing too heavy — Caden would never go there even if she wanted to. Not with Maudette around and/or while he was working for her. But oh, she wished he would! Frankly, she was a little shocked by just how intense those feelings were.

This was a totally new thing for her. She’d had boyfriends before — nice ones and a few not-so-nice ones — but she’d never seriously been tempted to give in to the pressure to have sex with any of them. And she’d certainly never pressed them in that direction.

So what was different about Caden? It wasn’t like she was head over heels in love with him.
Yet
. But oh, man, she could so easily fall. Maybe she was already falling….

And as for the wanting sex
right now
… well, she wasn’t much given to self-examination, but it didn’t take Sigmund Freud to figure out there were a few parallels here. Her mother had been approximately her age when she and Patrick Murphy had become lovers. Their time together had been so heartbreakingly brief. And here she was in Podunk, where all that drama had unfolded. Sometimes Ashlyn felt like this might be her only chance. Like she had to reach out and grab at love right now, to experience it all before the opportunity passed her by. Life could be so damned short….

Plus if you were a Caverhill woman, you never knew when you might wake up and decide self-immolation was a good idea.

Or maybe it wasn’t any of those things. Maybe it was just because Caden never pressured her like her other boyfriends had. Maybe it was because she trusted him. He gave her a safe place to explore those feelings, to flex a suddenly awakened libido. He wanted her, too, but he was always able to put the brakes on when they needed to be applied. Frustrating as that was sometimes, it only brought her closer to that brink of falling crazy in love with him.

 Whatever the reason, sex was pretty much on her mind all the time whenever she was with him.

Which meant that she was pretty damned excited when Maudette brought up the subject of her upcoming trip. Until her grandmother had elaborated.

“You know, I’m taking most of the dogs. And the Saco show’s a good one. I really could use some help on this trip.”

Ashlyn felt her adrenaline spike. Think, dammit! Think!

“I … I really can’t go,” she blurted. “I mean … I have homework piling up like crazy. You see, I don’t really know these teachers, and some of the ground they’re covering…. Well, I kinda feel like everyone else has an edge and I have to work extra hard to compensate….”

Lame. Lame. Lame!

Maudette nodded thoughtfully. “Why, you’re right, Ashlyn. You couldn’t possibly make this trip.”

“Exactly!”

“School has to come first — this being your senior year, and all.”

She sighed her relief. “Thanks for understanding.”

“It’s a good thing I asked Caden to go instead.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s a very good—”
Whoa, what was that?
“Caden’s going?”

Maudette smiled. “Yes, isn’t that nice? I just got off the phone with his father. He wasn’t too keen on the idea at first. But Caden really is an outstanding photographer, and passionate about his work; his father realizes that. Plus he’s amazing with the dogs. This show is a great opportunity for him. And Caden knows my critters. So if you’ll be good enough to look after Lolly-Pup—”

“You’re not taking Lolly-Pup?”

“No. She’ll sit this one out, I think. It’ll give her kennelmates a chance. And I know you’ll take good care of her.”

Ashlyn murmured something that must have made sense.

“Oh, and why don’t you have the Riley girl over while I’m gone?”

Ashlyn agreed that was a great idea, then went back to the house, leaving Maudette in the swarm of happy dogs vying for her attention. But she kicked every damn stone in her path on the way back to the house.

As she walked inside, she heard the phone ringing before she even got the door closed behind her. She didn’t need psychic ability to know who was calling, nor did she need to see ‘Williams’ on the call display. The phone clicked into Maudette’s old-fashioned answering machine before she reached the living room.

“Hey, Ashlyn. It’s Caden.” His voice filled the room.

Ashlyn sat on the end of the sofa. She could rush to pick up the phone, but she didn’t want it to seem like … well … like she was
rushing
to pick up the phone. And besides, it was the way he said her name — smoothly. Affectionately. She liked the sound of it.

“Dad just told me your grandmother called. And I suppose you already know I’m going to Saco this weekend to help Maudette with the show. Help her with the dogs. Take a few pictures. I can’t believe Dad agreed to it.”

A brief pause.

“I’m really pumped about this, Ash. It’s a great opportunity to get some shots of world-class dogs, and maybe some exposure for my photography. And really, your grandmother does need the help. But to be perfectly honest, I was looking forward to spending the weekend with you.”

Another brief pause.

“I’ll miss you. A lot. Probably more than I should confess to at this point. Dammit, I don’t know how these relationship things work! Probably I’m supposed to be acting aloof and hard to get, like I’m
all that
.” He laughed at himself. “But really, Ashlyn, I wish you were going to Saco too. So listen, call me, okay? And delete this before your grandmother hears it.” Another pause, one heavy with realization. “Oh, crap. Maudette … I … uh … hope this isn’t you accessing this message. If it is … er … sorry, ma’am. I’m going to hang up now before I get myself into any more trouble.”

She’d sat very still long after he hung up. She’d call him back, but not just yet. Let him squirm for a few minutes. Right now she just wanted to hug his words to her and smile.

Having Rachel in the house was … interesting.

“So,” she said, plopping herself on a chrome chair at the kitchen table, “when Maudette was talking to Professor Williams, she must have made it clear you weren’t going with them, I guess?”

Ashlyn shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Um … that was a rhetorical question. Of course she told him. Not in a million years would Papa Williams let Caden go away for the weekend with you! Ha!” Rachel whirled on her dramatically. “Again I say: Ha!”

Rachel’s enthusiastic “ha” wasn’t really a dig at Ashlyn, and she didn’t take it that way. It was just Rachel’s strange sense of humor. “Well, even if I had gone along, it wouldn’t be like we’d be alone. Maudette would be there too.” Ashlyn looked down from her perch atop a step stool. “It’s not like we would have been sharing a hotel room together.” She felt the flush in her face. Though she could imagine sharing a hotel room with Caden. Vividly.

She reached to the back of the tallest shelf, where Maudette kept the fancy glasses. She and Rachel were going all out on this Saturday night, so nothing but the crystal would do for the banana-chocolate-berry smoothies — the perfect after-pizza treat. That and the popcorn Rachel offered to make.

It had been a great day. Rachel had arrived earlier than expected, around 8 am. Ashlyn had gotten up to see Maudette off, and help her pack the dogs up. She’d fed Lolly-pup and patted the lonely, left-behind Airedale. And then she’d promptly headed back to bed. Rachel’s knock on the door pulled her out of dreamland.

She and Rachel had walked around the Junction — picked up a few things at the store, gotten their take-out pizza. Ashlyn couldn’t help but notice the stares (and downright glares) they seemed to be getting.

“It’s lots of things.” Unasked, Rachel volunteered an explanation. “They stare because I’m a witch. Others, because you’re a crazy Caverhill. And a few because you’re dating a black guy.”

Even now, thinking about it, it still pissed Ashlyn off. All of it. Glasses in hand, she hopped down from the stool.

“Er, Rachel….”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to take the popcorn out of the bag. It’ll be flying all over the microwave now. I appreciate you bringing it and all but….”

Rachel looked at her strangely, then with a too-wide grin. “You’ve never made popcorn the old-fashioned way, have you?”

“You mean the kind without the butter added?”  She set the glasses on the counter and began pouring the smoothies from the blender. “Sure I have. You just melt butter yourself, drizzle it on, add some salt. Piece of cake.” Ashlyn’s eyes grew even larger as Rachel opened the Ziploc bag full of kernels and rained them down into a deep-bottomed pot on the stove. “Are you nuts?”

Rachel laughed. “Like
that
was ever in question! Watch and learn, Ash.”

Ashlyn did watch, at first in worried amazement, but then with a dawning duh as the popcorn starting pinging around underneath the pot’s stainless steel lid. “Okay,” she said, trying to save face. “I’ll handle the butter.”

She opened the old refrigerator and retrieved a block of butter from the door. As Rachel shook the popcorn pan on the stove, Ashlyn grabbed a smaller pan and plopped a good load of butter in.

“Ashlyn?” Rachel said, quietly.

“What?”

“We usually use the microwave for that.”

Ashlyn rolled her eyes. “Bitch.”

With their bowls of butter-soaked popcorn and smoothie-filled crystal highball glasses in hand, Ashlyn and Rachel moved into the living room where they’d be camping out for the night. Rachel had brought her own sleeping bag and pillow along when she’d arrived this early morning. And though Maudette had told Ashlyn that Rachel was more than welcome to use her room, both girls decided bunking down on the living room floor in front of the TV would be way more fun.

Besides, Ashlyn didn’t want Rachel staying in Maudette’s downstairs bedroom while she slept upstairs. If Rachel got a notion to go for a moonlit excursion again, she wanted to be close enough to hear her stirring. She didn’t want her friend anywhere near the tracks, or that conductor should he show up this night. Ashlyn shivered. Rachel had been so close to boarding — so close to losing her life. Her soul. She’d felt the pull herself, but how strong it must have been for Rachel.

But there was another reason why Ashlyn was hell-bent on Rachel bunking down in the living room with her. The radio.

It had been quite a few days since Ashlyn’s world had launched into bizarro-land when the radio had played in the night, and she and Maudette had high-tailed it out into the kennel office. Ashlyn had recalled Maudette’s words — the family history which she was now a part of — over and over again in her mind. She knew she hadn’t imagined what she’d heard. Not from the radio and not from her grandmother. She knew she had to own it.

Maudette had warned her early this morning after the dogs were secured in the trailer and she was on her way to get Caden: “If the radio plays you know what to do. Wake Rachel and get the hell out of the house. Run to the kennels and wait in the office until it finally stops.”

“Wake her? Are you kidding? There aren’t earplugs heavy-duty enough to dampen out that radio.”

“It’s our curse, Ashlyn. Our line of women. Rachel won’t hear it.”

The old woman had said no more.

But as the two girls settled in the living room for movie time, the thing that had been gnawing away at Ashlyn all day took another bite. She needed to tell Rachel about the radio. Whether her friend would be able to hear it or not, Ashlyn needed to tell. And not in a just-in-case way, but in a friends way. In an I-really-want-to-freakin’-tell someone way. Especially someone who’d believe. And having seen the ghost train, if there was anyone who’d believe, it was Rachel.