Atheism For Dummies (For Dummies (Religion & Spirituality)) (19 page)

Many believers think meaning and purpose has to come from God, and that the goal in human life is to discover his purpose for me and run with it. That’s fine, I suppose — but I’m here to tell you it’s entirely possible to find your own meaning.

Doing so isn’t always easy. Much like your need for a pancreas, you never even know you have the need for meaning and purpose until it begins to fail — which mine did, in no uncertain terms, when I graduated from college. For the first time in my life, I had no idea what was next. I had no idea which way to go professionally. All of my romantic relationships had ended in flames and the waiting room was empty. I felt like a photocopy of a photocopy of a hollow log that wonders what the point is. It was my first genuine core-shaking crisis of meaning and purpose, and it lasted for years. It was really unsettling.

I did a lot of thinking and talking to friends during that time. Some of them had found meaning in a particular career. One had joined the Peace Corps and was pursuing a meaningful life through service to others. It all sounded great, but none of it seemed quite right for me.

Eventually it hit me: I wanted a family. That was it. Just thinking about that idea lit up my personal meaning-meter like nothing else had. A few years later, I married my favorite person, and we are raising three incredible kids together. Talk about waking up every morning in grateful surprise! Meaning and purpose, once a crisis for me, is pancreatic again.

Family won’t feed the bulldog for everyone, of course, and it shouldn’t. Even for me, family isn’t the only source of meaning and purpose. Putting all of one’s meaning eggs in a single basket has never been a good idea. My work has also been an important source of purpose, one that has ebbed and flowed for years as I’ve found my way forward, as it does for so many people.

Meaning and purpose isn’t an all-or-nothing commodity. It goes up, and it falls down. It swings around wildly, trying to find its bearings. I don’t believe there is, or should be, one universal “meaning of life,” God-based or otherwise, no one thing that keeps our needles pinned. Neither do I believe we make our own meaning from total scratch. I
discovered
what was fulfilling for me. I felt in the pit of my stomach when I was on a hollowing path, then registered a shock of recognition when I veered onto another that filled me up.

Those who’ve defined their own meaning and purpose in life tend to say that the process made it much more worthwhile than something received from the outside. I agree; I wouldn’t have it any other way myself.

Realizing that a universe without God can be even more wonderful and inspiring

Far from being grey and joyless, the natural universe that science is gradually discovering is packed with more wonder and inspiration than it’s possible to absorb in a lifetime. A list of my favorite wonders would include the following:

Every atom in your body has existed since the beginning of time and will continue to exist until the universe ends.

The human mind is a way for the universe to become aware of itself.

The iron in your blood was created in the final moments of the collapse of a dying star.

You’re standing on a ball spinning at 900 miles an hour.

A complete blueprint to build you exists in every cell of your body.

A thought or memory makes a physical path in your brain. When you see another person experiencing pain or joy, the same pathway in your brain “lights up” as if you had the experience yourself.

When you speed up, time slows down.

You entered the world through another person’s body.

You’re literally related to all life on Earth, from apes to amoebas to trees and whales.

Everyone really ought to be paralyzed with wonder and amazement all the time. And the fact that it all happens without a designer, and that it’s even possible to figure out
how
it happens, is more amazing still.

Setting Aside Misconceptions: Things That Few (If Any) Atheists Believe

Many common misconceptions exist regarding what atheists believe. In this section, I address some of those misconceptions to continue bringing the atheist perspective into clearer focus.

That there is no right and wrong

One of the most common misconceptions about atheists is that they’re unable (or unwilling) to distinguish between right and wrong actions. Most atheists have even heard that disbelieving in God is a license for murder. Atheists tend to blink in surprise at this idea. Moral development supports their surprise by showing that most believers and nonbelievers tend to have the same basic moral understanding, as one researcher put it, “whether they are of one religion, another religion, or no religion at all.”