Atheism For Dummies (For Dummies (Religion & Spirituality)) (86 page)

Deciding how to interact with religion and the religious

After I decided I wasn’t a religious believer, another set of questions confronted me:

I’ve rejected religious belief, but how should I behave toward religion itself?

Am I supposed to be opposing it, challenging it, defeating it — or learning to live with it — or pretending that it isn’t there?

Even more important, how should I interact with religious
people?

These answers aren’t always obvious. Most atheists feel that at least some religious ideas aren’t just untrue but also harmful to a shared culture and to the rights of people in that culture. Granting blanket immunity to religious ideas seems wrong. But many of the people atheists know and love are religious, and the atheists don’t want to attack them while they’re attacking the more problematic parts of religion . . . or do they? By continuing to support a belief system that has some toxic ideas, aren’t the believers themselves part of the problem?

For many atheists, answering these questions means doing the following:

1. Separating beliefs from the people that hold them as much as possible.

I can love and respect many people I know while thoroughly disliking and opposing some of their views. After those two levels of respect are separated, the answers become clearer.

2. Recognizing that not all religious belief is the same.

Saying “I hate all religion” is a bit silly when the word
religion
runs the gamut from “kill your neighbor” to “love your neighbor.” Many religious people hold views that are entirely benign and inspire them to good, compassionate work. Although a world with a lot more believers like Rev. Fred “God Hates Fags” Phelps would be a nightmare; a world with a lot more Liberal Quakers would be pretty nice.

Not all atheists see much difference between types of religion. I didn’t when I was 25, but I do now. Atheists can change and grow in their worldview, just as religious believers can. Though not everyone goes the same direction, it helps to remember that atheists also go through stages and changes in their perspective, and how they act toward and think about religion and religious people often . . .
evolves.

Many atheists think they should engage religious people and institutions in just the way they wish to be engaged themselves, as co-participants in the world. Atheists can and should loudly protest the intolerance, ignorance and fear that is born of religion while at the same time loudly applauding religious people and institutions whenever they show charity, tolerance, empathy, honesty, and any of our other shared values.

I call this
engaged coexistence.
Believers and nonbelievers are going to be sharing this little planet for the long haul, so the best everyone can do is work together to pay the rent and remind each other to keep our feet off the furniture.

Notice that coexistence doesn’t mean people can’t talk about their differences, even challenge each others’ assumptions when it really matters. Doing so is
essential
. Beliefs that stay in my head and affect no one else are one thing. But when my beliefs are out in the world affecting other people, I no longer have the right to expect immunity from challenge. So if you think a belief of mine is leading me to treat others unfairly, or causing harm, or spreading ignorance, you have every right to call me on it, to convince me that I’m wrong — to try to change my mind.

And because I’m human, I’ll probably dodge and weave and bluster and fudge. It’s what people do. But I’d appreciate it if you persist anyway. It’s the only way forward.

Of course it’s a two-way street — or in the case of a pluralistic society like this one, a hundred-way street. Everyone’s free to think and believe independently. But if I think your belief is harmful, it’s time for a family meeting. Sometimes that means questioning the Jehovah’s Witness at the door — though if it’s just some minor point of theology, I’d rather not. Sometimes I’m in the mood to lock horns in an online forum — though sometimes, especially as I get older, I’d rather not. But when the stakes are huge, and a particular religious view is blocking promising medical therapies, or marginalizing a segment of the society, or encouraging my nation into war — those are the times I try to find my voice and engage.

Other people have different thresholds, and more power to them. The key to engaged coexistence is remembering that people deserve respect, but ideas must earn it.

Getting Religiously Literate

In 2010, a Pew Forum survey offered a quiz of basic religious knowledge to US respondents of various worldviews. Mainline Protestants and Catholics both averaged around 16 correct out of 32 — about half right. Mormons averaged 20.3, while Jewish respondents averaged 20.5. That’s pretty good, but it’s still just second place.