Autobiography of Mark Twain (158 page)

389.10–15 This great record of Mason’s . . . save him from destruction] Mason’s letter is not known to survive. For Clemens’s response to his request, see the next Autobiographical Dictation (6 Mar 1906).

390.2–12 I wrote the little child . . . to keep Mason in his place would be a benefaction to the nation] Clemens made his plea for Mason in a second letter to one-year-old Ruth Cleveland,
probably written in January or early February 1893, before the formal beginning of her father’s second term:

My dear Ruth,—

I belong to the Mugwumps, & one of the most sacred rules of our order prevents us from asking favors of officials or recommending men to office, but there is no harm in writing a friendly letter to you & telling you that an infernal outrage is about to be committed by your father in turning out of office the best Consul I know (& I know a great many) just because he is a Republican and a Democrat wants his place. . . .

I can’t send any message to the President, but the next time you have a talk with him concerning such matters I wish you would tell him about Captain Mason & what I think of a Government that so treats its efficient officials. (1 Jan–15 Feb 1893 to Ruth Cleveland,
MTB
, 2:864)

390.14 I received a letter from the President] In reply—probably after Cleveland’s 4 March 1893 inauguration—Clemens received a “tiny envelope” with a note in President Cleveland’s hand:

Miss Ruth Cleveland begs to acknowledge the receipt of Mr. Twain’s letter and say that she took the liberty of reading it to the President, who desires her to thank Mr. Twain for her information, and to say to him that Captain Mason will not be disturbed in the Frankfort Consulate. The President also desires Miss Cleveland to say that if Mr. Twain knows of any other cases of this kind he will be greatly obliged if he will write him concerning them at his earliest convenience. (Cleveland to SLC,
MTB
, 2:864)

Mason remained consul general at Frankfurt through 1898.

390.19–27 beginning of Mr. Cleveland’s second term . . . Mason wrote me again . . . wrote Ruth Cleveland once more] Mason’s second letter requesting Clemens’s aid is also lost. But Clemens replied on 25 February 1893, promising to “inquire after that letter I sent to Mr. Cleveland” (IaDmE). If he wrote a third letter, it has not survived.

390.39–391.5 Honored Sir . . . March 18/06] The manuscript of this letter—written to honor Cleveland’s birthday on 18 March—survives in the Cleveland Papers at the Library of Congress (DLC). The text of the letter in this dictation, however, was transcribed by Hobby from Clemens’s own security copy (now in NN-BGC), which omits the original’s letterhead (“21 Fifth Avenue”), the date and salutation (“March 6, 1906. | Grover Cleveland, Esq. | Ex-President”), and the complimentary close (“With the profoundest respect”).

391.6–20 When Mr. Cleveland . . . his part] The incident Clemens describes has not been identified. On another occasion, however, Cleveland refused an offer from the New York Central Railroad that his Buffalo law partner, Wilson S. Bissell (1847–1903), wanted to accept. In about 1880 Chauncey M. Depew, president of the railroad, tried to persuade the firm to become its general counsel in western New York. Cleveland claimed that “if they accepted they would . . . practically be at the disposal of the railroad with its many interests and its large volume of work—acquiring land, defending damage suits, representing it in all its dealings with the city and, of course, with the other cities and towns of western New York” (Tugwell
1968, 47; Depew 1922, 124–25, 227). After Cleveland took up his post as mayor of Buffalo in 1882, he became known as the “veto mayor” for his refusal to adopt civic bills and award contracts whose overriding purpose was to enrich a ring of corrupt politicians, companies, and contractors at the expense of the city (Tugwell 1968, 53–61; Lynch 1932, 74, 85–95).

391.20 in Buffalo in ’70 and ’71, Mr. Cleveland was sheriff ] From 1871 through 1872 Cleveland was sheriff of Erie County, New York, of which Buffalo was the county seat.

392.6–8 There was a cluster of sixteen bell-buttons . . . I came to hatch out those sixteen clerks] While Clemens was on his 1884–85 reading tour with Cable, he wrote about this incident to his wife:

On the train, Dec. 3/84.

We arrived at Albany at noon, & a person in authority met us & said Gov. Cleveland had expressed a strong desire to have me call, as he wanted to get acquainted with me. So as soon as we had fed ourselves the gentleman, with some additional escort, took us in two barouches to the Capitol, & we had a quite jolly & pleasant brief chat with the President-elect. He remembered me easily, hav[ing] seen me often in Buffalo, but I didn’t remember him, of course, & I didn’t say I did. He had to meet the electors at a banquet in the evening, & expressed great regret that that must debar him from coming to the lecture; so I said if he would take my place on the platform I would run the banquet for him; but he said that that would be only a one-sided affair, because the lecture audience would be so disappointed. Then I sat down on four electrical bells at once (as the cats used to do at the farm,) & summoned four pages whom nobody had any use for. (CU-MARK)

392.11–18 Abbott Thayers . . . knew Miss Lyon, my secretary, very well] Clemens’s neighbors were the artists Abbott Handerson Thayer (1849–1921) and his second wife, Emeline (Emma) Beach Thayer (1850–1924), and his three children by his first marriage, Mary (b. 1876), Gerald (1883–1939), and Gladys (1886–1945). Emma Beach Thayer was Clemens’s old shipmate and friend from the
Quaker City
voyage in 1867. Witter Bynner (1881–1968), who later won fame as a poet, had been an editor for S. S. McClure, publisher of the muckraking
McClure’s Magazine
, since his graduation from Harvard in 1902. Barry Faulkner (1881–1966), an artist and former classmate of Bynner’s at Harvard, was a cousin and student of Abbott Thayer’s. (Clemens evidently misremembered his first name.) They had first introduced themselves to Isabel Lyon at Ceccina’s Restaurant in New York City on 3 May 1905 (link note following 2?–7 Feb 1867 to McComb,
L2
, 15; AskART 2008a, 2008b, 2008c, 2008d; Patricia Thayer Muno, personal communication, 30 July 2008; Lyon 1905, 108–9, 123, 276).

392
title
Wednesday, March 7, 1906] The first page of this dictation is reproduced in facsimile in the Introduction (
figure 16
).

392.29 next day] Susy described the morning of 30 April 1885 in New York City, the day after Clemens’s participation in an Authors’ Reading (see AD, 26 Feb 1906, note at 383.10–11).

393.34–35 Liebes Geshchenk . . . Susy’s spelling, not mine] Correctly spelled, it should
read, “Liebes Geschenk an die Mama,” which can be roughly translated as “Loving gift to Mama.”

393.43 went to see the Brooklyn Bridge] The Brooklyn Bridge had been open to the public for less than two years, since 24 May 1883, after nearly fourteen years of construction.

394.12 O heilige . . . Jesus!] “O holy Mary mother of Jesus!”

394.15–18 that pretty little German girl . . . knew no English] Jean’s young German nurse with a penchant for cursing first came to work for the Clemenses on 16 August 1883, replacing Rosina Hay, who left that day to prepare for her wedding. Clemens wrote his mother the same day, “We like the new girl exceedingly, & she speaks a good clean German, as easy to understand as English” (16 Aug 1883 to JLC, CU-MARK).

394.30 Gott sei Dank . . . Haar!] “Thank God I’m really finished with the God damned hair!”

394.41 lady principal] Abby F. Goodsell was the lady principal of Vassar, “chief executive aid of the President in the direction of the Teachers, and in the government of the students” in 1875–77 and 1881–91. Among other duties she offered “maternal supervision” of the students, provided housing, and oversaw public and social events (Vassar College 2008a).

395.12 He read “A Trying Situation” and “The Golden Arm,”] Both “A Trying Situation,” taken from chapter 25 of
A Tramp Abroad
, and “The Woman with the Golden Arm” (which Clemens sometimes called “A Ghost Story”) were regularly on the program for the 1884–85 “Twins of Genius” tour with George Washington Cable (
N&J3
, 69; see “My Autobiography [Random Extracts from It],” note at 217.25–27).

395.29–42 President of the College . . . I detest his memory] Samuel L. Caldwell (1820–89), a Baptist minister, had been president of Vassar College since 1878. Caldwell wrote Clemens on 3 April 1885, thanking him for his willingness to speak and inviting him and Olivia to stay, and again on 9 April 1885, assuring him that they had sufficient guest chambers for him and Susy and that “the Lady Principal, I am sure, can make your daughter happier than she will be at a hotel” (CU-MARK). Clemens immediately accepted (11 Apr 1885 to Caldwell, NPV). Caldwell was an inexperienced administrator, and in 1884 the alumnae became especially dissatisfied with his inadequate efforts to attract students. They were backed by the Board of Trustees, and on 9 June 1885, five weeks after Clemens gave his readings in honor of Founder’s Day, they accepted Caldwell’s resignation (Vassar College 2008b; Daniels 2008).

396.13–19 Miss Taylor . . . Mrs. (Professor) Lord . . . Miss Russell . . . Miss Hill] Miss Taylor was probably Virginia Taylor of the senior class, who had recently participated in the Barnard Union’s senior debate and appeared as the Earl of Leicester in the undergraduate play, Sheridan’s
The Critic
. Mrs. Lord was the wife of Herbert Lord, professor of philosophy. Isabelle (Belle) K. Russell of the senior class was chairman of the Barnard Union. The dean of Barnard College, since 1901, was Laura Drake Gill (1860–1926). She received her bachelor’s degree in mathematics from Smith College in 1881, and her master’s in 1885. She interrupted her subsequent
teaching career for advanced studies at the universities of Leipzig and Geneva and at the Sorbonne. She joined the Red Cross in 1898 after the outbreak of the Spanish-American War and managed a Red Cross hospital in Cuba. After the war she took charge of the Cuban Orphan Society and helped organize Cuban schools (
Barnard Bulletin:
“Departmental Changes,” 4 [24 Mar 1902]: 3; Belle K. Russell, “Barnard Union,” 10 [15 Jan 1906]: 1; “Undergraduate Play,” 10 [21 Mar 1906]: 1; “Dr. Laura Drake Gill,” 30 [12 Feb 1926]: 4; Barnard College 2008a, 2008b; “Dr. Laura Gill Dies,” New York
Times
, 5 Feb 1926, 19).

396.22–25 I lectured upon Morals . . . never knew so grave a subject to create so much noise before] The
Barnard Bulletin
described Clemens’s talk:

He said he had nothing to talk about, but that he did have some fine illustrations he was going to get in somehow. “The Caprice of Memory,” he thought, would be a good subject, though he might just as easily talk on morals. For it is better to teach than to practice them; better to confer morals on others than to experiment too much with them on one’s self. As his first illustration, Mr. Clemens told how he once had in his possession a watermelon—a Missouri melon, and therefore large and luscious. Most people would have said he had stolen it. But the word “steal” was too much for him, a good boy; in fact, the best boy in his town. He said he had
extracted
it from a grocer’s cart, for “extract” refers to dentistry, and more accurately expresses how he got that melon; since as the dentist never extracts his own teeth, so this wasn’t his own melon. But the melon was green, and because it was so, Mark Twain began to reflect. And reflection is the beginning of morality. It was his duty to take it back and to admonish that grocerman on the evil of selling green melons. The moral, Mr. Clemens said, was that the grocer repented of his sins and soon was perched on the highest pinnacle of virtue.

In the course of another equally good illustration of a moral, Mark Twain said that in his family there had been a prejudice against going fishing unless you asked permission, and it was bad judgment to ask permission. (“Mark Twain at Barnard,”
Barnard Bulletin
10 [14 Mar 1906]: 2)

The full text of the talk was published in the New York
World
(“ ‘We Wanted You Because We Love You,’ Said the Barnard Girls to Mark Twain,” 11 Mar 1906, M1; reprinted in Fatout 1976, 495–502).

397.1 “HUCKLEBERRY FINN” DEAD] The article was from the Los Angeles
Times
of 3 February 1906; the original clipping that Hobby transcribed has not been found.

397.13 I have replied that “Huckleberry Finn” was Tom Blankenship] Clemens wrote the same day to Alexander (Aleck) Campbell Toncray (1837–1933), half-brother of the deceased Addison Ovando Toncray (1842–1906) (8 Mar 1906 to Toncray
per
Lyon, photocopy in CU-MARK):

Dear Mr. Toncray:

It is plain to me that you knew the Hannibal of my boyhood, the names you quote prove it. This is an unusual circumstance in my experience. With some frequency letters come from strangers reminding me of old friends & early episodes, but in almost every case these strangers have mixed me up with somebody else, and the names and incidents are foreign to me.

Huckleberry Finn was Tom Blankenship. You may remember that Tom was a good
boy, notwithstanding his circumstances. To my mind he was a better boy than Henry Beebe & John Reagan put together, those swells of the ancient days.

Sincerely Yours,
S. L. Clemens