Autumn's Shadow (20 page)

"Everybody tells me—" Nick sounded affected by Harlan's passion, hurt overcoming anger in his voice—"these things happen."

"They happen because of the hard hearts of men and women." Then Harlan said with a challenge in his voice, "Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't ever do that to your own son."

A pause. "I won't."

"It won't be easy. What's happened to you will affect you a long way down the road. The only way you can keep from repeating your father's mistake is to think before you act and keep in touch with God. Look at Jayleen. Her mother's uncaring behavior led Jayleen to do something she never thought she would do. Look at how she's suffering now. You have to think. Because everything you do will make a difference not only in your life but in your children's." Then Harlan grunted as though he was tightening something.

Humbled by Harlan's courage in bringing up Nick's father's desertion and giving Nick direction, Burke waited to hear his nephew's answer.

"Mr. Carey, could I ask you something else?"

"Sure."

Burke went on alert.

"Do you think my uncle is in love with Ms. Turner?"

The question nearly bolted Burke upright on the couch, shock rippling through him.

"What makes you think he might have feelings for Keely Turner?" Harlan asked, sounding like he was sliding out from under the sink.

"Did you know my uncle lost his wife like you lost yours?"

"He did?" Harlan groaned as if he was getting up. "She must have died pretty young then."

Burke shifted on the sofa. Nick was talking about Sharon. His nephew had only been in grade school when she'd passed away. He hadn't thought Nick even remembered Sharon much. An image came to Burke, Sharon pulling Nicky, a pudgy three year old, in a wagon. They'd been babysitting him. A twinge crimped around Burke's heart.

"Yeah, she was just twenty-nine. My mom tries to fix my uncle up with friends of hers, but nothing ever happens."

"It's very rare when matchmaking like that works out," Harlan agreed. "Your uncle should be the one to decide when he's ready to start dating again."

"Yeah. Did you date after your wife died?"

Harlan must have paused to test the faucets. Burke listened to each being turned on and off while he struggled to release the guilt he always felt when he thought of Sharon.

"No, I just didn't have the heart to date anyone," Harlan replied.

"But Bruno and Ma did. They got married."

"I don't think either of them had plans to fall in love again," Harlan said in a quiet voice.

"Then what happened?"

"God blessed them a second time. If you don't remember anything else I've said today, Nick, remember this. Love is a gift from God. Don't ever waste love."

Harlan's words rocked Burke's heart, sending shock waves through him. "Don't waste love." I love Keely even though I have no right. Guilt strangled him.

"Love's much too precious in this wicked world, "Harlan continued. "Never be afraid to tell someone that you love them. That's wasting God's greatest gift."

The older man's words stripped away Burke's ambivalence, his lack of clarity about his feelings. He knew then he had feelings for Keely, not just attraction. But how could he move toward her? So much separated them I don't want to waste love again. He felt a silent groan go through him. The old pain of being out of step, of sham still scoured, dug out chunks of him.

"Yeah." His nephew paused. "Yeah."

The phone rang. Nick picked it up. "Uncle Burke! Wake up! It's the sheriff for you!"

Burke got up and walked to the kitchen, stretching the kinks out of his back. Trying not to show how out of control his emotions were, he kept his head down and took the phone. "Hello."

"Burke," Rodd said, "we just had someone come in to inform on our fire setter."

Burke came wide awake. "Who?"

"Veda McCracken."

"She set the fire?"

"No." Rodd sounded dubious. "She says Grady Turner did it. She saw him."

The following Thursday evening, Keely stilled her nerves. Her very first dinner party had turned out better than she had anticipated. However, she was still waking up with nightmares  over witnessing the Family Closet burn. Nonetheless, she wasn't about to let that keep her from doing what needed to be done. So she ignored the tension at the base of her skull and offered her guests after dinner decaf coffee with the dessert.

The fundraiser committee, comprised of Gus Feeney, Freda Loscher, Shane Blackfeather, Old Doc Erickson, and Burke, subbing tonight for Rodd, sat around the late Mrs.Armbruster's round oak dining table. Soon they'd begin discussing the Christmas fundraiser in LaFollette. But Keely was having a hard time concentrating. Burke's presence distracted her. The way he'd held her in his arms the night of the fire was never far below her conscious thought sand popped up at will. Tonight worry and attraction took turns tugging at her like impatient children.

"A lovely dinner, my dear." Old Doc, with his bushy white eyebrows, beamed at her.

"Will you give us a tour of your home after our meeting?" Freda asked, glancing around the dining area off the kitchen.

"I'd be happy to." Keely's voice quivered, and she hoped no one noticed. Why can't I shake this sadness? She steadied herself. "But I really haven't finished decorating."

"It's a cool house," Shane added.

"Thanks." Keely gave him a smile. Shane had volunteered to take the lead on the student committee for this year's "new doctor" fundraiser. He'd come so far in the past four years.

"Now we can get down to business," Gus said, accepting a cup of coffee from Keely.

She nodded and handed a cup to Burke. Though she tried mentally to keep him at arm's length, he'd managed to snag her attention all evening. One crisis after another had dogged them since the first night they'd met. They should hate the sight of each other.

Now, taking the cup, Burke's fingertips touched hers; Keely's disloyal pulse raced. She took her seat again at the head of the table.

"What has yet to be finalized?" Freda asked.

"First, could someone explain what all this fundraising for a doctor means?" Burke asked. "Rodd just called and told me to get over here tonight. He didn't have time to explain."

Keely tried to rein in her sensitivity to this man's voice, but she felt herself leaning toward him.

"Well, young man," Old Doc started, "I'm way past retirement. Have been for twenty years. Though we have a few other doctors and dentists in this poor county, I need to retire and we need a new doctor. Trouble is, no one around here grew up wanting to be a doctor."

"Except for Dr. Doug," Shane put in, raising his hand as if he were in class.

Keely settled herself against the back of her chair and hazarded a sip of coffee.

"That's right. Except for my grandson. My son was a doctor, too, but we lost him early. God rest his soul. So it's really just me and Doug keeping the clinic open. Without this clinic, people around here would have to drive an hour or more to get to an emergency room."

"We don't want the clinic to close," Gus insisted. "We'll never keep our young people or attract new people without adequate health care."

Burke held up a hand. "You don't have to sell me the idea. I just want to know how raising funds can bring a doctor here."

"Well," Old Doc went on, "I finally decided that the only way we'd ever get a new doctor is if we found a medical student who needed money bad enough to agree to come here to practice medicine after residency.  It took time, but we finally connected with one who'd sign a contract with us. We've been paying half her expenses every year for the past six years. When she finishes up, she'll come here and practice medicine for six years. Then she'll be free to stay on or leave."

"But of course we hope she'll stay," Freda crowed. "Dr. Doug needs a wife, too."

Keely groaned silently.
The poor new doctor
. Just look at all the gossip that surrounded her and Burke.

Old Doc shook his head. "Freda, you're a hopeless romantic. The doctor who's coming here has other plans for her life, bigger plans. But we've got her for six years. We just need one more big fundraiser to finish our part of the contract."

Burke nodded. "Sounds like a good plan."

"I don't see why she shouldn't want to marry Dr. Doug," Freda corrected. "Any woman would be lucky to get him."She turned to Burke. "Deputy, you came up here. You're planning on staying, aren't you?" Then with an expectant look, she glanced back and forth between Burke and Keely.

Keely spilled her coffee. Freda, no.

Burke glanced at Keely. "I'm staying here."

Pressing her napkin to the spilled coffee on her antique tablecloth, Keely tried to ignore the warmth that flooded her face.

"Well, I'm glad you came, Deputy, and I'm glad the new doctor is coming," Gus said. "Now maybe we could find somewhere to ship old Veda McCracken. She's lost her mind...."

Not surprisingly, no one in the county had believed Veda's story that Grady had set the fire at the Family Closet, though the discontented woman still maintained—loudly— that she'd seen him do it. Keely's father had threatened to sue Veda for slander, but she held to her story. No one listened to Veda. Who could believe anything she said?

But every once in a while, Keely recalled all the times Veda had spied on the thrift shop with her binoculars. Could Grady really heap hardship on those who need help, try to hurt me so much? Her heart ached since it was a very good possibility.

Clearing his throat, Old Doc asked for everyone's reports on his or her part of the "Day on the Town," the fundraiser that would take place the Saturday before Christmas.

Freda started. "All the merchants in LaFollette are participating again. Ten percent of all sales will go to the new doctor fund."

"I talked to the student council," Shane reported, "and we decided that we'd go ahead and do our same Paint the Town part of the fundraiser. Kids will get pledges and then paint store windows in town with Christmas scenes before the Saturday night fundraiser. Everyone who comes downtown will get a ballot and can vote for their favorite windows just like last year. There will be prizes in several categories." Shane shrugged. "That's it. Everyone has a job and will do it."

"The student council did an excellent job last year," Keely spoke up. She found herself studying the way Burke sat so relaxed. It must be nice to be so detached. "The local churches are also planning," she proceeded doggedly, "to go caroling through the streets during the day, adding to the festive spirit." Her mind juxtaposed that snowy holiday scene from last December with the blackened thrift shop.

Ever since the fire, both Grady and Nick had been sullen. No trouble, but no peace for her or Burke. Had the two teens decided to just get through the rest of the school year and then leave? Or had one of them frightened himself by setting such a destructive fire? Could she stop worrying now or should she worry even more? What would either of them or some unsuspected arsonist do for an encore? How could Burke appear to be totally without worry?

"Excellent work," Old Doc said. "I think that settles everything."

The party broke up. She wished she could summon up some enthusiasm. But something inside her had gone up in smoke with the thrift shop.

Keely showed everyone through the house, and Burke trailed along behind them. The hair on her nape prickled with awareness of him. She fought the attraction, a losing battle. Every time this week when she walked into her foyer, she felt Burke's arms around her, comforting her the night of the fire.

Old Doc pulled Keely aside while Freda and Gus argued about how wide her walk-in closet was. "How soon can you open a temporary Family Closet? I've got patients in need of clothing. Winter's coming."

Guilt nearly strangled her. Yes, winter was nearly upon them and people needed coats. "We've placed an ad in the next three issues of the Steadfast Times begging for donations, especially outerwear for winter. It's bad timing. People are getting ready for the holidays. They're not in a spring cleaning mood. And many had already donated."

"Where will you set up?"

"The Family Closet board has rented that empty storefront next to Kainz's Bar and Grill in Steadfast. We're cleaning and getting it ready as fast as we can."

"I know you're doing your best." Old Doc gave her a hug. "You need to take a rest. I shouldn't have asked you. You looked stressed. I hope you're planning on kicking back over Christmas."

I wish.

Over his shoulder, Keely saw that Burke's gaze never wavered from her face.

One by one, Old Doc, Gus, Freda, and finally Shane took their leave, going out into the frosty night till only Burke and Keely remained. She was standing in front of her glowing fireplace. Though enfolded in its lush warmth, Keely shivered with uncertainty. Why hadn't Burke bolted at the first opportunity? Ever since Burke had arrived at the first school board meeting he'd never stayed with her a minute longer than necessary.

Now Keely stood beside him in the quiet. His presence began to seep deeper inside her, just like the heat from the hearth. Being near Burke Sloan was different than being near anyone else she'd ever known. When she stood close to him, everything around her became focused, vivid, intense. The lingering scent of vanilla candles burning on the mantel. The flickering light and shadows from the fire. The serene blue of Burke's eyes gazing at her, soothing her. At the same time, all her senses danced to life—all because Burke paused in front of the hearth with her.

A log in the fireplace crumbled, making a soft rustling. Burke's heart did a quick thump within his chest. He stared at Keely, the radiance from the fire casting half her fair face in shadow.

Keely's eyes still held the horror he'd seen in them at the thrift store fire. Watching her suffer brought feelings from deep inside him, feelings he barely recognized. I'm rusty at this. I can't remember how to ...what to say.He trembled with the thought. Maybe he should just concentrate on making life easier for her. What can I do for her?