Authors: Lana Davison
Henry and Leo got up to go back to their dorm. As Leo stood up I was certain his gaze fixed on me for a little longer than necessary, just like he had looked at me last night. I wondered if anyone else could see that, could anyone else sense the immense attraction between us?
After they left, I left the dining room, walking straight over to my new classroom. A list of student names was placed outside the classroom door, I read Leo’s name, along with my own. He was in my form class, while Henry was placed in the classroom next door. Leo walked into the classroom about two minutes after and walked over to me. I felt both excited and apprehensive at the sight of him. Excited because I wanted him to be close to me, apprehensive because I didn’t understand my crazy emotions; I had just met him.
“Do you mind if I sit here?” Leo asked.
“No, please do.”
Our teacher entered the classroom with a folder and a book in his arms and sat at the teacher’s desk at the front of the room. Leo and I both sat at our desk in silence and both started to speak at the same time which resulted in us laughing at each other.
“You go first,” he said.
“Oh it’s nothing. I just wondered if you liked it here so far.” I can’t believe I said that. He’s been here all of five minutes but I guess it was my way of making small talk. “What were you going to say?”
“You’re interesting. I’m intrigued.”
Thankfully our teacher began to address the class, because I didn’t know how to respond to that. Our teacher handed around a sheet with a list of topics he would be teaching this term. I looked it over and asked Leo, “Did you learn any of this at your old school?”
“I’ve covered a lot of these subjects. I was home schooled.”
“Me too,” I said. “Before I came here, I mean.”
“You didn’t comment on what I said before?”
I thought about it for a moment. “I find you interesting and intriguing too,” I said.
“I want to know all about you, Holly.”
Well he doesn’t seem to be holding back much, I had to admire him for that.
“I bet you say that to all the girls,” I laughed, trying to find out if I was on the right track.
“No, I don’t say that to all the girls, just you.” He looked me directly in the eye.
I blinked at his comment and self assurance.
“Right you two, over there,” Mr Davis, our teacher said, pointing at us both. “Do you want to share your conversation with the whole room or do you want to be part of this discussion? I was telling the rest of the class that we will be reading
Einstein’s Dreams
, but seeing the two of you cannot be bothered to listen, I am assuming you have already read it. Do either of you want to tell the class what this book is about?” he asked holding a metre ruler in his hand and using it like a cane for support.
“It’s a fiction novel by Alan Lightman if my memory serves me right; a modern classic focusing on the early nineteen hundreds when Einstein was living in Switzerland and working in a patent office. It’s about Einstein’s many theories on relativity. I found it to be inspiring and it opened my mind to the connection between art and science,” Leo remarked.
“Well... Um. Well, yes.” Mr Davis coughed into his fist having nothing to say to that. He looked around the class with his eyebrows raised then managed, “And Mr...?”
“My name’s Leo, Leo Regent,” he voiced back to our teacher.
“Well, Leo Regent, that is correct.”
“When did you read that?” I whispered, looking straight ahead, hoping Sir would not see me talking.
“When I was being home schooled,” he whispered back covering his mouth with his hand.
“I think you learned a lot from being home schooled. One on one learning, no distractions.” I cupped my hand over my mouth and whispered again.
We were given another sheet with our time table, and handed some other sheets to keep in our folders, too. Sir told us all to use the next ten minutes before the bell went to familiarise ourselves with our classroom schedule. This gave Leo and I the perfect opportunity to talk. I felt safe talking to him freely in the classroom away from Rachael and Henry.
“So you’re going out with Henry?” he stated.
For some reason I wanted to lie and say I wasn’t, just so I could show him I was available – available to be with him. “Yes.” I shrugged as if it was unimportant, not realising I had given Henry and my relationship such little value.
He nodded. “Shame.”
“Pardon.”
“Shame,” he said confidently.
Yes it was a shame, but who was this creature in front of me turning my world upside down. “We’re really good friends,” I told him.
“Is that all it is?”
“Well no... not exactly. How about you, do you have a girlfriend?” I said, changing the subject.
“No, not at the moment,” he said reading my face for a reaction. “But I’m very interested in someone and I hope she’s interested in me.” He continued to read my face.
I blushed, fiddled with my fingers and looked around the classroom, I didn’t know what to say. How could I escape this guy? On one level I wanted to get away from him, because I didn’t know what to say and on another level I wanted to be right where I was, near him. Was he talking about me?
“You could be dangerous for me,” he continued.
“What’s with the cryptic statements?” I asked attracted to his mysteriousness.
“I want you to know me, Holly.”
“I’m getting to know you, Leo.” I said looking down at my hands. “But I don’t understand some of the riddles you speak in.”
“I’m not supposed to be with you.”
“I know, because I’m going out with Henry.” I said.
He nodded.
I felt his disappointment, “Yes, but like I said before, we are mainly just good friends,” I said reducing the value of my relationship with Henry again without meaning to.
The bell went and Leo got up from the desk and held out his hand to help me up. “You don’t have to help me up.”
“I want to.”
“Leo be careful, people are watching.”
“So?”
“So you’re new and people will see you as launching on someone else’s girlfriend. Your room-mate, for that matter.”
He brushed off my comment. “I can’t help it. I want you.”
I gasped. “Leo you can’t talk like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because you can’t,” I said firmly.
“If you want something, shouldn’t you just say so?”
I gulped. “Yes you should. But there are ways and means.”
“OK. You can give me some lessons.”
We walked to our next lesson, maths. Leo took his seat next to me again. I didn’t mind, but he was a distraction. We didn’t have an opportunity to speak again as the first maths lesson for the year was an exam.
*****
After lunch our whole year gathered for physical education, I stood in my PE uniform at the back of the auditorium behind a row of students thinking it might shield me from the cold. Our teacher announced that we would be doing athletics today, the sport I was really good at. I found myself looking for Leo, wondering what he might look like in his PE kit. I caught his gaze and he smiled and gave me a small nod of acknowledgement. I smiled back.
We continued to
keep our eyes on
each other as we segregated into male and female groups. Following the girls I knew I should take the first opportunity I had alone with Henry to end my relationship. Even if it was the first day at school, I knew that I didn’t want to be with Henry, at least not in the same way I wanted to be with Leo. The thought of Leo left me excited, exhilarated, on fire and I knew I wanted to be with the person who was responsible for that and it wasn’t Henry.
The girls gathered in a messy bunch for a 400 metre race, the gun went off and I began to run. My legs worked like robots, with a mind of their own. I had done this run so many times I didn’t even have to think about what I was doing. I saw the boys gather to watch the girls’ race, they would be running next. I was running first with little effort, and saw Henry wave to me, nodding as he recognised my lead in the race, expecting nothing less. I waved back and caught a glimpse of Leo, his piercing gaze watching my every move. The excitement of seeing him watch me made me run even faster. I could see the finish line and ran over it before slowing down. I stood stationary with my hands on my hips and began walking around in a small circle as I caught my breath and slowed my breathing. The other girls passed the finish line and we patted one another on the shoulder telling each other we had done a good job.
I knew Henry would win the boys’ race hands down. He had been the fastest timed runner at our school ever, breaking the school record and also the record at last year’s regional race.
The girls cleared the track and congregated at the sideline. The boys stood in a group at the starting line, the gun fired and the boys took off. This was an easy run for Henry, who certainly had a career in running if he wanted to. He looked at ease, his legs striding fast. Leo ran up behind Henry in second place and also looked incredibly at ease. He was about two metres behind Henry and maintained his position and pace. Was Leo also good at running? Leo caught my eye as he ran past, and I could have sworn he gave me a brief wink. As they approached the last hundred metres, Leo took off, like lightening. Henry noticed but it was too late, he had thought the race would be an easy win and hadn’t prepared himself for the final sprint. Leo went over the finish line about three metres in the lead and Henry didn’t look happy about it.
“Did you see Leo win the race? He actually beat Henry.” Emily announced.
“Leo’s mine... I bags him,” Rach said playfully, jumping up like a cheerleader. “Yay, Leo,” she joked. But I didn’t like it.
“You can’t bags someone,” I said.
“I can,” she said playfully, wondering why I was bothered.
“He’s not a toy,” I said realising I was defending an innocent comment.
“OK. Don’t get your knickers in a twist. Just because he beat Henry!”
Phew... I got off lightly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it.”
*****
Our last period of the day was for study and as it was the first day of term, we hadn’t been given anything substantial. I walked out of the girls’ changing room and saw Henry leaning on the fence waiting for me. He walked over to meet me.
“I can’t believe I didn’t win that race. Did you see Leo? He completely surprised me.”
“It’s not your fault, you didn’t expect it. You’ll probably win next time.”
“I’ve never had to really compete to win. Leo’s really fast, he kept that one in the bag. He should have told me.”
“Did you tell him you were the regional champion?”
“No, I didn’t,” he said thinking about it.
“So don’t be annoyed. It might be good for you to have a worthy contender.”
He nodded. “You might be right.”
“Are you being picked up tonight?”
“No, I’m going home tomorrow night. Casual boarding on Monday and Fridays,” he smiled.
Henry took my hand and we walked together towards the common room. I immediately felt self-conscious and hoped Leo wouldn’t see me with Henry. I wondered if I should tell Henry I wanted to break up, or would that be too harsh for the first day of school? Would he question why? Would he suspect Leo as the reason for me wanting to break off our relationship? If I left it too long would it make it worse? I reasoned that it would be best to do it now given the holidays were over. For all Henry knew, I might have met someone.
“Um... Henry, listen, I...” I gulped.
He stared and looked at me. “What? What is it?” He sensed my hesitation.
“Henry, there’s no easy way of doing this, but I... Well I, just want to be friends,” I said it quickly, afraid I might not get the words out if I procrastinated.
He stopped in his stride and I stopped too. “Why? And don’t say ‘it’s me not you,’ not that old chestnut.”
“Well, Henry. I don’t want to go out with anyone, that’s all.”
“Did you meet someone else?”
“No.” But I had met someone who had caught my eye.
“Why didn’t you say something to me in the holidays, or even last night?”
“Because.... well because it was the holidays and you weren’t around and I think if you are going to end a relationship then you should do it face to face. I would never do it over the phone, if I could help it.”
“Sit,” he said stopping and sitting down on a bench. “Talk to me. We don’t have to go to the common room.”
I sat down and continued, “And it wouldn’t have been fair to break up with you last night.”
My explanation seemed to work. He nodded. “You don’t feel anything for me?”
“Of course I do. You’re Henry, my Henry. But I must confess I see you more like a great friend than a boyfriend. Please can we just be really good friends?”
“I don’t know if I can do that right now,” he said not looking at me. “It’s not you, it’s me,” he said to himself, by way of explanation.
“Not that old chestnut,” I replied light-heartedly.