Avoiding Commitment (43 page)

By that time, Lexi’s other roommates, Claire
and Elizabeth, had returned and were discussing the reading that
Rachelle was currently skimming over for the umpteenth time. Lexi
tilted her head to the side and ran her fingers through her hair
allowing the waves to separate from each other. She moseyed towards
the coffee pot and poured herself another mug.

“Did you hear us, Lexi?” Claire asked behind
her.

Lexi turned around and surveyed the scene
before her. She was the first to admit that she didn’t exactly fit
in with the other students at NYU. People came in from all over the
country to go here, but they at least all had one thing in common:
a sense of competition. Her roommates definitely had that feeling,
and Lexi simply didn’t share it with them. That was why when they
were all together in one place. It was very unlikely that they
would actually be talking to her. She hadn’t heard a single word
they had been saying for that exact reason, and told them as
much.

Elizabeth upturned her nose at Lexi and
mumbled something under her breath. Claire jabbed her in the ribs
before responding. “We were wondering how last night went,” she
ventured barely suppressing a giggle.

Lexi stared at her with her mouth wide open.
In the months that they had been living together, she had never
been asked about her night. The only topics of conversation they
focused on at all had to do with school. Something was up. “Same as
usual I suppose.”

“I saw your friend. What’s her name Asia?”
Elizabeth asked knowing full well that wasn’t her name. Lexi rolled
her eyes at her not enjoying their little game and wondering where
this was leading.

“Chyna, actually,” Lexi responded wishing she
hadn’t had so much to drink the night before. If she was going to
have to deal with whatever game they were playing, then she needed
to be a bit more conscious.

“Oh right, Chyna,” Elizabeth said. “What kind
of name is that anyway?” she mumbled loud enough for Lexi to
hear.

Lexi gritted her teeth and hoped the torture
of petty social interaction would end soon. “Yeah, she went out
with me last night.”

“Did that guy go out with you last night
too?” Claire asked giggling into Elizabeth’s shoulder.

Lexi froze and stared at the three.
Elizabeth’s freckled face was nearly masked with the blush that
took over whenever she found something humorous. Claire’s thin
blonde hair had been shaken free of its loose ponytail. Rachelle
even let a small smile grace her features at the two girl’s
ridiculous behavior. God, were they twelve years old? Even though
these things were put on Lexi’s list of all-time rare behavior for
her roommates, what made her body react was the fact that they had
mentioned a guy. Yet, how could they know that she had met a guy
last night? And was that even what they were talking about?

“Oh, look at her face,” Elizabeth said
through her giggles.

“She didn’t want us to find out. That’s why
she made him leave so early,” Claire announced smacking Elizabeth
with her hand playfully. Though, it looked like this scene had been
rehearsed.

“Did you see him though?” Elizabeth asked
fanning herself.

“Yeah, why would she want to hide
him
?” Claire asked letting the emphasis rest on the final
word. “Even Rayray thought he was gorgeous. Didn’t you, Ray?”
Claire questioned shoving Rachelle’s notepad out from under her
pen.

Rachelle looked up finally dropping her
half-smile as she glared at her roommates. “What does it even
matter what I think? I have work to do. Why not harass her
somewhere that doesn’t involve me?” she asked cattily.

“Um…guys, what are you talking about?” Lexi
finally asked, confusion written across her features.

Claire focused in on her assessing the
situation. “That guy I let in the apartment last night. He was
dreamy and couldn’t stop blabbering about you.”

“What guy?” Lexi gasped steadying herself on
the counter top. Her vision had gone blurry at Claire’s words. Had
Jack actually been here last night? Her throat felt dry and she
reached blindly for her coffee mug. Unable to locate it, she
touched her hand to her throat and choked back a cough.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “No need to be so
dramatic.”

“Anyway, he left you a note after you kicked
him out,” Claire said producing a tiny piece of white paper. “We
weren’t sure if you wanted it.”

Lexi moved forward robotically and snatched
the paper from out of her fingertips. “Don’t ever touch my stuff
again,” she snarled narrowing her eyes menacingly.

Claire and Elizabeth looked as if they had
never seen Lexi before. Their mouths hung open in shock. Even
Rachelle had stopped to stare at her newfound malice. Lexi ignored
them all in her anxious desire to read the note, find out if it
actually was from Jack, and why he had left so early if it was the
case.

She shut the door behind her and fell into
her desk chair. She could feel her pulse in her stomach as she held
the insubstantial piece of paper in her palm. She ignored her gut
feeling that nothing good could possibly come from this and tore
open the paper. Her heart fluttered at the text before her. It held
one word—one lonely word. The handwriting was unmistakably Jack’s,
but still he had left her with nothing else but:

Sorry
.

She stared numbly at the five letters
scratched onto the blaringly white scrap. What was he sorry about?
Her stomach sank further. Had she said or done something wrong? She
had been blitzed out of her mind last night and couldn’t remember a
single thing. Only a minute ago she had been certain she had
conjured him up in a dream, and now he was leaving her with
apologies. She buried her face in her hands a fresh wave of
heartache taking over where her hangover left off. A tear trickled
down her face and she quickly swiped it out of the way in
anger.

No.

She wasn’t going to go there again. She had
shed enough tears previously and now she needed to get over this.
Jack had always and would always have a hold on her heart, but she
needed to be smart about it. He was in New York and had found her.
That had to count for something. Tossing the paper on her cluttered
desk, Lexi rose and located her cell phone once more. After tapping
out a quick reply to Chyna that they would have to talk later, she
found the number she was looking for and dialed the line.

“Hey, Lex,” Jack answered huskily.

She felt her body turn to jello at the sound
of his sweet voice. How had she forgotten how amazing his voice
sounded in her ears? She sighed contentedly, and then stopped
herself. She needed to be frank with him and not get suckered in
all over again. “Why the fuck did you leave that note?”

He sputtered, “I…uh…”

“Why did you even come see me if you were
going to leave with nothing but a note?” she interrogated him.

“I was pretty drunk,” he offered.

“Oh, you were drunk?” she asked not keeping
the condescending tone from her voice.

“Yeah, look, I had been meaning to come by
and talk to you, but I hadn’t been able to work up the nerve. Can
we meet up and talk?” he pleaded.

“How long have you been in New York?” she
asked her eyes narrowing.

“Come on, just meet me, and I’ll tell you
everything,” he promised his voice taking on an almost desperate
tone.

“Just answer the question, Jack,” she
commanded forcing herself not to break under his sweet talk.

“A couple months,” he mumbled.

“What?” she squealed. “A couple months and
this is the first I’ve heard from you?” She couldn’t help but feel
hurt. He had known all along that she had been around. And there
she had been moping about him and feeling like she was seeing him
on every street corner.

“I wasn’t sure if you were…” he trailed
off.

“If I was what?” she asked, her anger
flaring.

“Single.”

“Oh,” she muttered before she had a chance to
stop herself.

“Can you please meet with me so we can
discuss this? I can tell you’ve entered full-on freak out mode, and
I can’t help if I’m not there.”

“Then why did you leave?” she spat at him.
Lexi was pretty sure that whatever had happened last night, he had
to have realized that she wasn’t taken. She shook her head furious
with herself. There was no way for him to know that. Even if they
had done anything last night, past precedent proved that it had
never mattered whether or not she had been single. She wasn’t even
sure why it mattered to him right now, but she didn’t ask that.

“I had an interview,” he muttered
dejectedly.

“For a job?” she asked in surprise.

“Yes, for a job, Lexi. I wouldn’t have left
your side for anything else,” he informed her.

Lexi fell silent after that comment,
contemplating her next move. She wanted to go see him and find out
what had happened, but she knew what kind of distraction Jack
offered. Her first semester grades would be all she had when she
was looking for internships for the summer and she needed to stay
focused. Rachelle wasn’t the only one who had to study in their
household.

She shook her head from side to side weighing
her option. Biting down on her bottom lip, she realized there was
really only one option. “Where did you want to meet?”

*****

Lexi stared up at the mountain of stairs in
front of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. She had walked by here on
numerous occasions, but had never had enough free time to venture
inside. Not that she had ever been a connoisseur of fine art, but
she could still appreciate the beauty that lay within the castled
walls.

In fact, she had always been intimidated by
the outwards splendor that radiated from the building. Chyna had
been to a number of benefits and operas at the location, but timing
had never been right for Lexi to join her. Now she was stuck
staring upwards at the massive construction wondering what she was
even doing here.

She felt a light tap on her shoulder from
behind. She jerked around caught off-guard by the sudden
interruption. “Jack,” she said her voice lowering seductively as
she caught sight of him.

Her roommates had been right. He looked damn
sexy. The afternoon sun gleamed in his eyes reflecting back to the
world a bright ocean blue. His shaggy hair, which typically fell
into his eyes, had been combed and perfected to rest across his
forehead. A worn pair of jeans, that she recognized, hung loose on
his narrow hips. A grey long-sleeve t-shirt fit snug across his
broad shoulders. Her eyes couldn’t help but smolder at the sight of
his cut arms and chest which showed countless hours of work. She
had never seen him look so built before in her life.

A smile broke out across his face when he
noticed her checking him out. She blushed slightly unable to
control the feeling of embarrassment. She knew that she shouldn’t
feel it…after all, it was
Jack
. He pulled her into him
wrapping his arms around her waist covered by a purple sweater and
long, black pea coat. Breathing in his musky scent made her head
dizzy with more than just a cologne haze, and she tightened her
grip around his neck to steady herself. Her heart fluttered as he
seemed unable to let her go. After a minute of standing there with
their arms wrapped tightly around each other, Jack finally pulled
back taking a step away from her. Lexi instantly felt like all the
warmth from her body had dissipated with the break in contact.

“Can we go inside?” he asked rubbing his
hands up and down his chiseled arms. “It’s kind of freezing, and I
forgot a jacket.”

She shook herself out of her trance and
nodded, following him up the stairs. Her jaw slackened at the
magnificent arched hallway and the crowd of people milling around
the entranceway. Jack locked onto her wrist and led her to a more
secluded section of the lobby. His hand was hot to the touch
despite having just left the frigid outdoors. He gestured for her
to take a seat on a hard wooden bench, which she did. She stuffed
her hands into the pockets of her pea coat and angled her body to
look at him where he sat next to her.

He breathed out a few times into his hands.
He obviously thought they were cold even though Lexi disagreed. She
waited not wanting to be the first to speak. She wasn’t even sure
what he was going to say. She was a little scared about what she
might find out.

“So,” he began averting his gaze to the sleek
marble floor.

“So,” she agreed not letting her eyes drift
from his face.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. She held
his gaze, waiting.

“Lex, I…” he glanced up into her brown eyes
and then quickly back down at the floor.

“Yes?” she prodded.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he mumbled, but
something about the way he said it didn’t sound sincere.

“Jack, why don’t you cut the bullshit, and
tell me what you’re actually thinking?” she asked him easily
annoyed.

“Ok, ok. I never could get anything past you,
could I?”

Lexi shook her head not wanting to take that
comment head-on. She could remember a time when he was able to hide
many things from her.

He slumped into himself at her reaction. She
waited, allowing him to collect his thoughts before speaking again.
He straightened up taller than before and met her gaze. “You’re
right. I’m not sorry for last night. I meant everything I said, and
I don’t know if you are with someone or not, but I guess…I still
wanted you to know.”

Lexi blushed at his words. She had been
piecing the previous night together in her mind, and could vaguely
remember what had happened before she had blacked out. Jack had
been there, waiting for her. She remembered his lips against her
skin and his voice whispering in her ear. Her heart sped up at the
recollection of those three small words they had uttered to each
other, and a smile crept to her face.