Awakened (Vampire Awakenings) (27 page)

Sera’s face flamed hotly. “Yes,” Liam grated.

“But she’s not one of us,” Doug stated.

Sera felt herself turning redder as she realized that they knew everything. “No, she’s not,” David said. “That’s the problem.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Liam spat. His body trembled; his arms locked around her were as hard and taut as a bowstring.

David sighed as he tugged at his wet hair. “I met some of our kind in Pennsylvania...”

“How did you know they were our kind?” Jack interrupted.

David shot him an aggravated look. “Like knows like,” he explained hastily. “You’ll see when you meet others. Trust me.” His gaze returned to Liam and Sera. “After I talked to you, I went and asked them about our relationships with humans. We are not meant to be with them, not seriously anyway.”

“They told you this?” Liam hissed.

“Yes. You have marked her as yours Liam. When you let her feed from you she became a part of you, and vice versa.”

“Beth did the same thing!” Liam seethed.

“It’s not the same Liam, and you know it! You never loved Beth, but you love her and the thing inside of you needs her to be with you, forever. When we fall in love something happens, something changes. Inside, we are wild, savage, and we need to mark our mates. You will kill anyone that hurts her, you will kill us.”

“So he says,” Mike muttered.

“So he will,” David said firmly. “You’ll also destroy her.”

“No he won’t!” Sera cried.

David’s eyes were soft and sympathetic as they met hers. “Yes, he will. He will turn you. He’s fighting it now, but he will. He can’t let you go Sera, not in any way. The demon inside him senses the mortality in you, the frailty of your life, and it will not have it.”

“Then I’ll let her go,” Liam hissed even as his arms tightened upon her waist.

“No!” Sera was horrified and broken at the mere thought.

“Sera...”

“You can’t,” David said flatly.

“Of course I can,” Liam insisted.

“No you can’t!” Sera denied.

“No, he can’t,” David reasserted vehemently. “Don’t give me that look, you can’t Liam. Even now, while you’re saying the words, you’re changing.”

Sera twisted to look up him. He diverted his head, but not before she caught a glimpse of red eyes and elongated teeth. “Liam,” she whispered as she reached out to touch his cheek.

He seized hold of her hand and pulled it away from his face. “Don’t!”

Tears welled in her eyes, but she withdrew her hand from him. She could feel him trying to put a wall between them, but she didn’t know how to stop it. He was determined to try and keep her away from him.

“Look,” David said softly. “I’m going to tell you what they told me about this. First of all, you can’t let her go. We don’t often find our mates, as a matter of fact, the two vampires I met are over two hundred years old, and they’ve never found theirs and seem to have no desire too. From what they had been told, once we find our mates, if they are human, than all control for the vampire is lost. What you’re going through now Liam is nothing. It will only get worse until you make her yours in every way. If you send her away, you will go insane; you will become a danger to everyone around you. She is the only thing keeping you from losing your sanity now.

“Simply put, you can’t let her go, and she can’t stay human.”

“What about Beth?” Liam demanded. “We exchanged blood.”

“You didn’t give two shits about Beth, and no matter how much she fancies herself in love with you, she’s not. She’s obsessed with you because you didn’t want her. You never had a problem with walking away from Beth, but I bet going for that walk today damn near drove you crazy, didn’t it?”

Liam’s refused to answer the question. “I thought so,” David continued. “Our mates are ours. We know them when we find them, if we find them. It’s instantaneous. You might not have recognized it at first, but if you look back over everything, I’m sure that you realize it now, right?”

Liam was silent for a minute. His resentment at David’s words was growing by the second. However, he was right. Every minute he had spent away from her today had been horrendous. He had needed to get back to her. The beast within him had been clawing to emerge every second that they had been apart. It was only the knowledge that Mike and Doug would keep her safe, and that he needed to find Beth in order to ensure Sera stayed that way, that had kept him going.

David was also right about Liam not being able to leave her. His need to get her away from him, before he hurt her, was nowhere near as strong as his urge to drag her from the room, and take possession of her in every way possible. One thing was for sure, his need for her was growing, while his control was weakening.

He took a deep breath and met David’s intense gaze. David was also right about another thing. From the beginning he had needed to speak to Sera, he had gone out of his way to meet her. He had told himself to stay away from her, yet he hadn’t been able to do so. So far, David was right about everything, and Liam was certain that this conversation was not going to end well.

“He was going to let me leave his room,” Sera said softly. “After he told me what he was and I was terrified. He was going to let me leave.”

David was silent for a moment. “He may have said that, he may have even let you walk out, but I can guarantee you wouldn’t have gotten far, and he wouldn’t have let you go for long. You went back to him?”

“I didn’t even make it out the door.”

“The women will not lose their men either. Listen to me Liam, she’s not even one of us, and she’s already possessive of you. Your blood has started to make changes in her also.”

“He hadn’t bitten me then!” Sera cried.

“That doesn’t matter. A part of you recognized him. You have instincts Sera; they knew that you were meant to be together. That you are soul mates. If you had left that room, he would have come for you, and I don’t think you would have put up much of a fight.”

Sera lowered her head. “No,” she admitted in a whisper. “I wouldn’t have.”

“His biting you did not precipitate this, it only sped things up a little. He’s tasted you, he wants you, and he will change you. His blood in your veins marks you as his. If he had changed you, then we would be able to smell him on you, always.” David’s eyes darted back to Liam. “You want us, and our kind, to know that she is yours. It is our kind that you fear are the most dangerous to her.”

“I can control this,” Liam grated. “I can fight this.”

“No Liam, you can’t fight this forever. You will not allow her to die a mortal death; you won’t even be able to tolerate the risk of losing her for much longer. It will not happen. Look, if we never find a mate, then it doesn’t matter. They said that there was a vampire over two thousand years old that has never found his, and he’s just the same as us. If you find them, and they are human, that is when all hell will break lose. You have already killed for her Liam. You have never lost control like that before, and you will lose it again. If she dies Liam, then you die. You will either go insane or have to be destroyed, or you will destroy yourself.”

Sera was silent as she slowly absorbed everything that David was saying. If she died, then Liam died. If she stayed with him, then he wouldn’t allow her to be human. It was all too much to grasp right now. She suddenly didn’t feel so good. Liam’s arms tightened around her as he supported most of her weight. “So what are you saying?” Liam demanded.

“She can’t stay mortal. Instinctively, you will not allow it, and as long as you keep fighting it the people around you are in danger. Including her.”

“I am completely capable of controlling myself. I only killed Jacob because of what he was doing to her!” he hissed.

Sera shivered as she huddled deeper into Liam’s embrace. “And when you lose control again, what then?”

“It won’t happen.”

But it would, Sera knew it would. She could feel it in him. She had seen it come over his face many times in the past few days. Saw it today, when he’d come upon them in the snow. Saw it yesterday, when Jack had been holding her shoulders. Saw it when they had been in the shower. He would hurt them, and it would be her fault. But what could she do? She couldn’t become one of them, she just couldn’t. She couldn’t drink blood, and she couldn’t be a monster. Hell, she didn’t even eat meat! She would have to give up her hopes of a home, and a family.

Sera closed her eyes as pain tore through her. What good would a home, or a family, be if she wasn’t with Liam?

“It will happen Liam, and it will probably happen with her.”

Sera’s eyes flew back open as her heart lurched into her throat. “He won’t hurt me!” she choked out.

“He will change you. There is no chance that he won’t. It’s only a matter of when he will, and from the looks of him I would say that it is going to be very soon.”

Sera shuddered as revulsion ripped through her. For a moment she feared that she would throw up. “That is not true,” Liam grated.

“Yes, it is. Now the only question is, will she be willing, or will you force it on her?”

Sera’s eyes widened as four sets of eyes turned to her. They were utterly inhuman, and savage, in the candlelight. Liam’s arms tightened around her. She was completely terrified to look at him, completely terrified of everything that was happening. “Well Sera, what will it be?” David asked quietly.

A choked cry escaped from her as her legs buckled. Liam swung her easily up. His jaw was clenched tightly, and his eyes were burning orbs of anger, and hopelessness, as they flashed rapidly from red to green, and back again.

“Take care of those two,” he ordered, as he strode across the kitchen.

“Liam, what I said is true,” David said softly.

He paused in the doorway to look back at him. “I know.”

Sera dropped her head against his chest and began to sob softly.

CHAPTER 17

Liam sat on the bed and cradled her in his lap. He held her gently, allowing her to sob out her sorrow as he kept his head buried in her hair. He could smell her blood, hear her heartbeat, but it didn’t arouse the beast in him now. The monster within seemed to be effectively buried by the anguish that was wracking through her.

He lightly stroked her long golden hair that was still damp from the snow. Reaching behind him, he pulled one of the blankets forward and wrapped it around her as he gently rubbed her arms in an attempt to warm her even more.

Minutes ticked slowly by. Eventually her tears dried as she lay trembling against him. He noticed how small and frail she was as he shifted his hold on her. At the thought he felt the demon surge forth. Closing his eyes, he willed it to go away. Now was not the time, or the place. She needed him now; she didn’t need more trauma.

“Feeling better?” he asked softly.

She shook her head and curled tighter against him as she buried herself within the blanket. He pulled it gently away from her face and caressed her tear stained cheek as she lifted her chin to look at him. Her eyes were a vibrant violet, even though they were bloodshot, and swollen from her tears. Her lower lip still trembled slightly.

A fierce wave of protectiveness washed through him. He hated to see her cry, he never wanted to see her cry, and it was his fault that she was doing so now. Everything was his fault. “Damn!” he hissed as he pulled her tighter against him. “I’m sorry Sera. I am so very sorry.”

Her lids dropped down, her long, gold tipped lashes were wet with tears as they shadowed her pale cheeks. “It’s all true, isn’t it?” she whispered softly.

His hands convulsed on her. He wanted to tell her that David was wrong, that no matter what he could control himself around her. But he had promised her that he would never lie to her again, and he knew that David was right. He was controlling himself now, but only because of her tears. He knew that he couldn’t control himself long, knew that one of these days he would snap, and it would be soon.

“Yes, I think it is.” She shivered as a fresh tear rolled down her face. “If I had known, I would have left you be,” he grated hoarsely. “I would have stopped myself from seeing you. I would have left the country, the continent if necessary. I would have done whatever it took not to hurt you like this Sera. But I can’t now. I just can’t.”

The thought of it sent the demon within surging instantly forth. He grit his teeth as he forced himself to take a shuddery breath and get himself under control. “I would have left.”

The anguish in his voice tore at her heart, ripped through her soul, but she was so scared, and so confused. She knew that he would have left her be before things had gotten this far, but she also knew that even if he had left, even if she had never seen him again, she would have missed him. She would have always been empty without him. He would have haunted her dreams and she knew that somehow she would have found him again.

“I would have found you,” she whispered.

His hands tightened on her as he groaned softly. “Sera...”

“No Liam, I would have. If you hadn’t come back for me, I would have found you. I love you.”

“I would have left before it ever came to that.”

“I’ve loved you from the beginning. I loved you before I met you,” she told him as a dawning realization came over her. “I was ready with Jacob.” His hands convulsed on her as a soft growl escaped him. She turned to him knowing already that the demon was there. His face was strained as he fought to bring it under control. “But, I began to panic. It suddenly felt wrong, it felt awful. I was waiting for you. Somehow, even then, I knew you were out there and I was waiting for you.”

His jaw was clenched with barely suppressed fury. The thought of Jacob touching her in anyway was more than he could bear. The thought of what Jacob had done to her made him wish that the bastard was still alive so that he could kill him again. A shudder ripped through him and he almost bellowed from the rage that was encompassing him.

A gentle, butterfly touch on his cheek drew his eyes open. She was staring at him with a mixture of fear, and a love so fierce that it shook him. “I was waiting for you,” she whispered again.

Something inside of him broke. He hauled her against him, holding her as close to him as he could. It wasn’t close enough. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pressed herself against him. “What have I done?” he groaned.

Her hands clenched upon him as tears spilled free again. She could feel the anguish and self loathing radiating from him. “I love you Liam. I love you so much that it hurts.” Her voice was choked with sobs as she clung tighter to him.

His hands were painful as they dug into her. She winced, but didn’t make a sound. She could feel his desperation, his hurt, he needed her, and she wasn’t going to let him down. “I don’t deserve you.”

She laughed softly as she buried her face in his neck. Her tears wet his skin, but they were no longer tears of grief for herself, but for him. “Yes, you do. I can’t live without you. I can’t even breathe when I think about the possibility. If this is what was meant to be, then that’s fine. I would have let you change me anyway; it just might have taken me a little longer to come to it. But this is all right Liam. It is.”

“Sera,” he moaned.

“It’s all right.”

She pulled away from him and tilted her head so that she could gaze into his tortured face. She pulled her hair away from the wounds in her neck. His eyes gleamed as they fastened upon her wounds and his teeth instantly elongated. He snapped his eyes shut, his face twisted with anguish as he fought to bring the demon under control.

“I can’t Sera.”

She blinked in surprise. “Liam, it’s all right. I want this.”

“Not tonight. You’ll need blood right after. Unless you want to feed off of Danielle and Kathleen, I can’t.”

Sera froze as that thought hit her. Blood, she would have to drink blood. An involuntary shudder of disgust ripped through her. He reached out and pulled her hair back over the marks before they tempted him even further.

“Blood.” She was unable to hide the disgust from her voice.

“I can feed you Sera. You need never feed off of anyone but me, if that is what you want.” That was what he wanted. The thought of her even going near someone else twisted his stomach and brought a surge of violence rushing through him.

Her eyes were wide as they swung to him. “Not them,” she whispered. “Not them.”

“No, never them. I promise. But until I can find someone else, this cannot happen.”

She nodded slowly and dropped her head to his chest as she yawned softly. He lifted her easily as he stood up. Pulling the remaining blankets back, he laid her gently upon the bed. For a moment, he contemplated undressing her, but firmly decided against it. The thought of her naked body hardened him. The sight of her naked body would push him over the edge, and all common sense would go out the window.

He could not be with her again until he was ready to change her. She smiled sleepily at him and raised her arms. He climbed in beside her and gathered her into his arms. He closed his eyes as a wave of contentment stole through him. The beast was at bay. She was going to be his, and nothing would ever change that. 

***

Sera woke with a start. The night closed in around her as she strained to see anything. She reached out a hand and felt Liam’s solid figure. It reassured her, but she couldn’t get rid of the fear that crept through her belly. She sat up and tossed the blanket aside as she walked over to the window.

The moon lit the backyard, revealing bare trees, and an endless sea of white. The howling wind blew snow across the yard. She stared for a moment longer, but couldn’t see anything worth worrying about. She turned and crept to the door.

Creeping down the dark hallway she felt her way to where the stairs began. Her hand found the banister and she used that to guide her toward the kitchen. There were still two candles burning within the room, but their flames were sputtering in the small nubs of wax left. She crossed the linoleum to where Kathleen had left some candles on the counter and used the flames to light four more.

Taking one of the candles with her, she moved to the back door and opened it. There was nothing in the dark yard, but the hair on the back of her neck began to stand up. She froze for a moment and then spun quickly. Nothing was behind her, but she was suddenly certain that something was watching her. She turned back to the night and took a small step back. The wind howled across her, blowing snow into the room, and knocking out her flame.

Terror suddenly ripped through her as she took another step back. The force of the sudden impact sent her flying to the floor. The scream in her throat was cut off as the air was knocked painfully out of her lungs. Something was on her, clawing at her, ripping into her shirt, and chest. She couldn’t breathe, she could hardly even move. Then, the eyes were there, brilliant red eyes that stared hatefully at her.

The air rushed back into her lungs as she opened her mouth to scream. A hand shot over her mouth, stifling her. She gasped in shock as Beth’s face appeared above her. It was twisted and evil as she leered down at her. “I told you that I would get you!” she hissed.

Sera bucked wildly in a desperate attempt to get away, but although Beth was smaller than her, she was amazingly strong. Almost as strong as Liam, who could kill her with a flick of his wrist. The sudden knowledge that Beth could do the same sent her heart beating so wildly that she was certain it was going to rip out of her ribcage.

Beth’s eyes gleamed maliciously as an evil smile curled her mouth. Her lips pulled back to reveal her deadly teeth. Sera screamed against her hand, but only muffled cries of fright escaped. Beth surged forward, her mouth wide, and her teeth gleaming as she lunged at Sera’s throat with deadly intent.

Air rushed back into her lungs as Beth was ripped off of her. Sera blinked in surprise as the deadly teeth didn’t sink into her neck and her chest was suddenly able to expand. Blinking in surprise, she watched as Liam appeared within the candlelight and flung Beth across the kitchen. Beth slammed into the back wall with so much force that the cabinet doors popped open. Pots, pans, and cans fell to the floor with loud rattling crashes, and dull thumps. Beth instantly sprang back to her feet as a hiss escaped her.

The hair on Sera’s neck rose as she scrambled backward. The answering hiss from Liam was nearly as frightening as Beth’s. She could feel the hunger in the room; almost smell the bloodlust emanating from them. Sera’s mind and body screamed at her to run, but she couldn’t get her shaking muscles to obey the command.

Liam spun and caught her easily as Beth launched at him. She spat and hissed in his grasp as she dug her long nails into him. Liam bellowed with rage and flung her away. She skidded across the floor and crashed into the fridge.

“What the hell?”

Sera turned as David, Jack, Doug, and Mike came skidding into the kitchen. Their eyes widened as they took in the sight before them. “What’s going on?” Kathleen cried. Mike spun back around to effectively block the doorway. “Get out of my way!”

Mike refused to budge from the doorway as he turned his head to see what was going on. Beth stood slowly, her eyes vivid and hateful as she lifted her chin. She spun and bolted out the door, seeming to blur and disappear as she moved. Liam took a step after her, and froze; his body was tense and shaking.

His ruby gaze darted back to Sera. Sera’s mouth gaped open and her heart leapt into her throat as he came at her. A scream tore from her as he seized hold of her arms and ripped her off the floor. “What were you doing?” he roared.

Fresh terror spurted through her in the face of his obvious rage. A rage that was now focused solely upon her. All of his control was gone.

“What were you doing?”

He punctuated each word with a small shake. “Liam!” David shouted. “Liam stop!”

David’s words did nothing to dim the fury blazing through him. The hands on his arms ripped a shout from him. He released Sera and spun toward them as he instinctively shielded her from whoever was behind him. David and Doug took a quick step back, their hands raised in surrender as their eyes widened upon him.

He turned instantly back to her. Tremors wracked her body as she stared at him with wild, petrified eyes. Her shirt had been ripped from her collar to mid chest. Blood marred her porcelain skin. The sight of that blood further unraveled him.

He took a step forward. She whimpered as she scuttled back a few feet. At any other time the obvious sign of her terror would have stopped him. It didn’t now. The fact that she could have been killed, the fact that she had almost been killed, had shattered all of his control. He would not lose her. He would not take the chance of losing her.

Sera had seen what was inside of him before, but not like this, never like this. Before, she had always been able to glimpse something of Liam inside. There was nothing there now. There was no flicker of green in his blood eyes. There was no hint of softening in his contorted features. He had lost complete control, and he showed no signs of being able to regain it.

She wanted him to change her. She wanted to be with him. But not like this. He looked as if he was going to kill her.