Awakening (13 page)

When we finish drinking our coffee, I take the mugs into the kitchen to rinse them before putting them in the dishwasher.  I know what Danny’s going to ask next; he’s going to ask where exactly we start over.  As I’m washing off the counters and putting the creamer back in the fridge, I think about how I’m going to answer.  Just as suspected, as soon as I figure out my response to the unasked question, Danny speaks up.

“So where exactly do we stand?  Are we going back to how things were in college, before I proposed or all the way back to the beginning?”

“I was just thinking of how I was going to answer that.  It’s crazy that I know you so well,” I say playfully, trying to lighten the blow I’m about to deliver.  “I think that we should start over from the beginning.  Well, I guess not the very beginning, but I think that we should try dating and then see how it progresses.  I still can’t explain what happened to me in the hospital but I know I’ve changed.  I’m still me but not me, does that make sense?” 

I walk back into the living room and nervously sit on the couch.  I’m preparing myself for him to tell me that he can’t do it and he needs something more.  As always, Danny surprises the hell out of me with his answer.

“It makes sense.  It’s gonna be hard to start all over but I understand why you need this.  You went through something scary and difficult.  It’s my job to make your life easier.  If you wanted to role play and pretend we never met, I would be okay with it.  I just want to help, Mira.  I want to get back to where we were.  If this is the only way, then this is what we do.” 

The smile on my face is the first honest happy emotion I’ve felt with Danny in quite a while.  I lean across the couch and wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him tighter than I should but I can’t help it.  He understands me and is willing to work with me on my issues.  He really is a keeper.

A keeper; which reminds me, I’m still wearing the engagement ring on my finger.  I spin it around on my finger as I’m sliding it off.  Danny grabs my wrists, putting my hands in my lap.

“That’s yours, Pea.  No matter what, you keep it.  I bought it for you and it was made for you.  Just because we’re not engaged yet, doesn’t mean that I don’t want you to be my wife.”  I know he’s joking, especially with the wink he gives, but it sends the first rush of lust to my core.  I don’t think he realizes how attractive he is.  I mean really, he doesn’t even try and he pulls it off.

“Hmmm, where should I take you for our second first date?” Danny jokes, stroking his chin like he’s plotting something epic. 

“Danny, you don’t have to take me on another first date.  We can just hang out.  Here’s an idea.  I’m going to make us some breakfast, you find a cheesy movie to watch and we’ll spend the morning together.”

“That sounds perfect.”  Danny grabs the remote from the coffee table and starts looking through the movie menu for something to watch. 

I rummage through the fridge hoping I have the ingredients to make Danny his favorite breakfast.  He’s been so amazing to deal with me and all my craziness in the past few weeks.  Other than the minor slip up with Melissa, which we’ve yet to discuss but will do so later today, he’s never done anything wrong.  There have been plenty of mornings where I’ve made his favorite—a spinach and cheese omelet—so I decide to go with it.

My cooking skills have vastly improved over the years. The look on Danny’s face when he takes the first bite of his breakfast makes me happy.  We end up eating in a comfortable silence while watching the morning news.  I wanted to watch a movie, but the news works, I guess.

During a commercial, I brace myself for the Melissa conversation that I know we need to have.  Danny’s just finishing up his breakfast, so it’s now or never.

“Danny, what really happened with Melissa?”  I brace myself emotionally for the answer.

“Nothing.  I swear it, Mi.  She’s just a friend.  I was able to talk to her while you were in the hospital.  I knew there was something fierce going on with Skylar while you were in a coma, so I couldn’t talk to him.  Kylee was going insane; researching shit and trying to keep your mom calm.  It was just me, freaking out inside.  I met Melissa and we just clicked.  It was like we had been friends for a long time.  I would never betray your trust, no matter what.”  I understand where he’s coming from.  Skylar was that person for me.  He was who I would go to if I had a problem at school, having a fight with Danny or wanted advice.  He was my person.

“Have you talked to her recently?”

“Not so much.  We’ve talked a few times in the last few weeks, but nothing major.  Last night was the first time I had seen her since you left the hospital.  I really just needed a friend.”

“I understand.  I don’t really like the idea, but I can’t stop you.  As long as nothing is going on then I won’t be that girl that fights with you about your friends.”

“And if you want to be friends with Skylar, I won’t complain.  I’ll probably always have doubts, but I’ll keep them to myself unless either of you give me a reason to bring them to light.”

“I’m glad we had this talk.  I don’t want there to be secrets or lies between us.  If we’re going to do this, then it has to be done right.”

“I agree,” Danny nods.  “Oh, Pea.  Thanks for breakfast, it was delicious.  I owe you one.”

Danny gets up to clear the plates when we’re finished with our talk.  I run back to my bedroom to change into a pair of cotton pajama pants and a tank top.  On my way out the door, I grab a throw blanket.  I get back to the living room and Danny is already sitting on the couch, remote in hand.  He looks over the back of the couch and smiles his sweet innocent smile.  His happiness melts my heart.  No matter my feelings for Sky, Danny deserves to be happy.  I just hope I can keep making him happy.

I sit next to Danny and lean on his shoulder.  Not only does he allow it, he puts his arm around me and lets me snuggle into his side.  Apparently he’s in a sappy mood because he turns on one of my favorite movies.  We sit quietly watching the opening credits of
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
as I start to feel really tired. 

I startle myself awake and have difficulty processing my surroundings.  Once the haze of sleep wears off, I realize I’m in my bedroom.  The last thing I remember, Kate and Matthew were sitting on the couch talking about Princess Sophia.  Danny must have carried me to bed and covered me up.  I glance at my nightstand and see it’s well after noon.  There’s also a note. 

Pea, thank you for another amazing first date.

 I’ll call you later.  Hope you slept well. 

Dinner tonight?

Xoxo Danny

How sweet is he?  I clutch the note to my chest and finally feel a twinge of hope.  My relationship with Danny was always easy and fun.  Skylar would be a lot of work and patience.  Only time will tell.  My feelings are still strong for Skylar but I have to think about the future, too.  Danny will always provide for me and put me on a pedestal.  Skylar, on the other hand, is a part of a motorcycle club and I’ve watched enough TV and movies to know that the club always comes first; girlfriends second.  

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Mira

The last month has gone by so fast.  Kylee and I have had a lot of time to just hang out.  She works during the week, but the weekends are ours.  Danny has been very respectful of my space and doesn’t interfere when it’s “girl” time. 

Danny and I have been on several dates.  Danny had this grand idea to start back at the beginning.  He started taking me to all the places we used to go when we were in college.  Once he realized how much pain it caused –me—trying to relive a time that I might have been in love with someone –heels—he changed his game plan.  Danny started taking me to all new places and we never go back to his house after dates.  Even though Danny and Skylar aren’t as close as they used to be, Danny doesn’t want to hurt him further; neither do I.

Danny texted me about an hour ago to see if I want to go on a double date with Kylee and Jacoby.  I don’t even know if Kylee and Jacoby are still dating.  Every time I ask her about him, she gets very tight lipped.  She’s due home from work any minute and it’s high time we have this conversation.

I return Danny’s text, telling him that I’m one hundred percent in, but don’t know about Ky.  I take a quick shower and start doing my makeup when Kylee comes through the front door.

“Hey, Ky.  How was work?” I holler from my bedroom.  Kylee appears in my doorway looking tired as hell.

“It’s exhausting.  I just want to soak in a hot bath and go to bed.”

“Danny wants us to go on a double date; us, you and Jacoby.  Are you in?”

“Ehhh, Jacoby and I aren’t actually on good terms right now.  Rain check?”  See, I knew something was wrong here. 

“What do you mean?  Is it because of the whole band thing?  What happened that night?” 
Inquiring minds want to know.

“Nothing, Mi.  I went back there with every intention of letting Taron have his way with me.  He was hung up on some other girl.  I called Jacoby and he said he was busy and would call me right back.  He never did.  I went by his house instead of coming back here and there was a car in his driveway.  I knocked and a beautiful woman answered the door.  When she called for him, she called him “sweetheart”.  I didn’t stick around to get answers.  I ended up going by Marisol’s apartment downtown and crashing instead of driving all the way back here alone.”

Wow!  I wasn’t expecting all that.  I figured he found about her tryst with the band guy and flipped his shit.  I didn’t expect him to be the cheater; I didn’t get that vibe.  But, I guess it’s not cheating.  Kylee doesn’t have any claim to him; and he doesn’t have any to her. 

Time to be the best friend I promised her I would be.

“Well, fuck Jacoby.  Want to come out with us and we’ll find you a new guy?”

“No.  Thanks though.  I really am exhausted.  I just want to take that bath and maybe read a book.  Who would have ever thought; Kylee Anderson is staying home on a Friday night to read a book.”  Kylee’s trying to hide behind her sense of humor, but I see right through it.  I know exactly what she’s doing.  She’s trying to throw me off her scent.

“Well, I won’t be out late.  We can hang out tomorrow and have a chill day.”

“Yeah, Mi.  That sounds amazing.  Have a good time, yeah?  Maybe it’s time for you to give it up?  Again.”

My stomach knots immediately.  Danny and I have been “dating” for a little over four weeks now and the conversation of sex hasn’t come up; by either of us.  I don’t know if Danny is trying to be gentlemanly or if he’s just not attracted to me anymore.  Maybe I need to take Kylee’s advice and give it up.  Oh hell, what do I know? 
Danny and I have had sex hundreds of times, why am I freaking out like I’m a virgin again?
  He’s the only person I’ve ever been with.  I should be comfortable with him, more than anyone else.  And then Skylar pops into my mind. 
Fuck!

I finish with my makeup and hair.  Now I just need to find the perfect outfit.  If I’m going to try to sleep with Danny, again, then I have to do whatever I can to look sexy.  In the back of my closet, I find a dress he always loved.  He said the dress made my neckline look sexy as hell
.  Is that guy code for ‘I’m staring at your neck, but really staring at your rack?’
  Fuck it. He likes it, I’m wearing it.

Five minutes before he is supposed to arrive, I hear a knock at the front door.  Looking out the peep hole, I see Danny standing on the other side with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.  My heart does a small leap.  I open the door with a smile on my face.  Danny’s standing there, all boyishly handsome, holding a dozen or so lilies and wearing a button up shirt and jeans that are snug in all the right places. 

“I remember how lilies are your favorite and I couldn’t wait another five minutes to see you.”  Danny hands me the flowers and walks into the kitchen to grab a vase
.  Lilies aren’t my favorite and he knows that.  He’s brought me daisies, my favorite, many times.

“This is so sweet of you.  I do love lilies.  They’re beautiful and are going to look great on the coffee table.  They’re not my favorite, though; daisies are.”  As soon as I finish my sentence, I realize how ungrateful I sound. 
God, I’m such a bitch.

“I’m sorry, Pea.  I don’t know why I thought lilies.  Since we’re starting over, I think it’s time I told you something.”  My stomach drops.  He had better not be breaking up with me after all this.  I eye him suspiciously, not saying anything.  I need him to tell me what he’s talking about.

Danny takes a deep breath, understanding I’m not budging until he tells me and continues, “Sky was always the one to order your flowers.  He and Kylee always talked and she’s the one who told him about a lot of your favorites.  Skylar would come back to me with the intel so I could surprise you.  Are you mad?”

“Why would I be mad?” Honestly, I’m not.  I’m a little shocked that I didn’t know this sooner, but not mad at all. “You’re a man, Danny.  I don’t expect you to remember all my favorites.  You’re going to make a mistake every once in a while.  I think it’s adorable that you sent your friend to my friend to find out about me.  It shows how much you cared.”  I give Danny a kiss on the cheek and intertwine my arm with his.

Danny leads me out of the apartment to his waiting car.  He opens the door for me and shuts it once I’m securely inside. 
And who said chivalry is dead?

As we’re pulling out of the parking lot, I want to ask him where we’re going, but I decide to let it be a surprise.  Danny lets me control the radio and I’m thankful.  Recently, I’ve found myself getting attached to the more alternative music where Danny still likes mainstream pop and rap.  I can’t take it half the time.  Most of it’s not even real music; more like enhanced crap that is produced in a sound booth. 

Since we are still on the outskirts of campus, we have access to the college radio station.  I turn the dial and find an amazing song by Damien Rice.  I sit back and let the words flow over me.  When I hear the opening lyric of Cannon Ball, it hits home and hits hard.  I really do miss Skylar.  Not even as a part of my soul, but as my friend.