Awakening: The Deep Sleep (The Deep Sleep Trilogy Book 1) (5 page)

“Occasionally, I wanted to grab hold of a log I saw floating in the water and cling to it for safety, but Jesus wouldn’t let me. I realized there was something in me that did not yet fully trust Him. The fearfulness of the river made me question His goodness toward me, since He was leading me into such a dark and frightful place.

“He felt the thoughts of my heart, but did not rebuke me. He was patient with me in spite of my scattered, fearful feelings, and drew me closer to His side.

“As we walked, I saw people in the water who seemed to dwell in the river, as if they belonged to it. They were alive, yet they seemed lifeless. Surrounding each person were sinister creatures of darkness guarding them, holding them captive to the dark river.

“The demonic creatures possessively held tightly to each human they controlled. It seemed as if it would be easy for the people to have gotten away from the creatures, but they didn’t realize this and didn’t try to break free from their grasp.

“One particular person watched me walk with Jesus and I saw a jealous longing to be with Jesus in his eyes. I knew he wanted to be walking with Jesus through this dark place. He believed it to be impossible, but continued to watch us longingly. I stared back at the man for some time while I continued to walk with Jesus as He led me through the water.

“We finally reached an embankment and pulled ourselves out of the river, but the black water clung to me as if it were a living creature obeying its master by doing so. Soon, however, the water retreated back into the river and I knew in my heart the Lord had commanded it to do so.

“Once the water had retreated, the Lord raised me to my feet and led me by the hand down the sandy bank of the river. On one side of us was the treacherous black water and on the other, a thick menacing forest. The trees in the forest seemed lifeless with no leaves on them, yet they were alive with a hostile presence of their own.

“The river was repugnant, but not as frightening as the forest, which seemed filled with hatred. Jesus was unmoved by the trees, but their coldness terrified me and He kept me near the river’s edge. It was a more difficult and narrow path to follow, but at this time He was keenly focused on the river.

“With my hand in His, I followed Jesus around the edge of the forest until we came to a sharp bend in the river. We came across a small boat tied to a log at the turn in the river. He motioned for me to get in as He untied the boat from its mooring.

“As we entered the boat, I was suddenly able to see the river clearly, and I saw that the water was filled with
people. Though they literally surrounded the small boat, they did not seem to understand its purpose. They looked to us for help as we approached them, yet shied away from us when we got near them.

“The river was teeming with people herded like cattle, it seemed to me, smashed together, pushed through the river and crashing into one another without any realization of what they were doing. They were, indeed … lost. So very lost.

“I looked into the eyes of a young girl close to me near the bank of the river. Her head and one shoulder were poking out of the water, but the rest of her body was covered in the thick demonic shadows of the water. Her eyes were sunken, encrusted with dark, swollen circles around them. Her hair was pitch-black, snarled and matted to her head. Her face was ashen gray and her body was covered in terrible scars.

“She seemed to look at me without seeing me at first and my heart was captivated by an overwhelming, even desperate, compassion for her to awaken to the realization of her situation. I wanted so much for her to know we were there. Suddenly, I saw a flicker of life come into her eyes – a breath of hope.

“As she continued to watch me, I saw a very small light waver in her heart. In response, she tried to raise herself from the water’s grip. I saw, as she did, that her
hands were held together in front of her, tied with an anguishing knot.

“The creatures around her awakened to the solicitous thought of losing their prey and gripped her hands even tighter, pulling her back down. They began flooding her with shame as she looked again at her hands bound and covered in bloody scars. I watched in anguish as the fog of hopelessness covered her mind, shadowing her from the anticipation of deliverance.

“My heart broke when she moved away from me to hide herself in the converging throng of hopeless victims. I lost her there, but not in my heart – where she was alive and full of life. I saw her past full of years of victimization from a demonized father, an abusive brother, rejection from the church where she’d desired to find love and, finally, convinced of her own unworthiness, attempts of suicide.

“Wanting only to die and not live with the contempt she carried within herself, she tried again and again to end her pain. She didn’t care now if she were loved – didn’t think she was worthy of being loved. There was no need for others to torment her now; she was well able to torture herself. With drugs, alcohol, and a life of perversion, she abused herself. She let herself be taken by any man as punishment for her past ‘sins.’

“It was not her sin that bound her to the river, but shame imposed upon her by others. Still, she was convinced by the multiple creatures entrenched around her, using her, that she was to blame for all that had happened to her. Any attempts to rescue her were successfully perverted by these demonic creatures who were used to push her down even deeper into the river of shame until, at last, she was as much a part of that wretched river as the water itself.

“My eyes then found another woman well advanced in age – her appearance was much the same as the young girl’s. She looked at me with a flicker of longing, but then the word
abortion
flashed through her heart and mind, as though it were branded on her forehead. Shame filled her memory with thoughts of her past as I saw flashes of images of unspeakable horror and then years of torment – torment that seemed to follow her like a welcomed friend.

“I saw that many times the Lord had tried to remove this word from her heart, but she refused. Guilt forced her to cling to self-hatred, tying her to her sin as if it defined her existence.

“I then realized the river was teeming with women just like this woman who were held in bondage by their shame because of their guilt, with the word
abortion
consuming and destroying their lives and destinies. Then,
suddenly, she pulled away from me and retreated into the throng of people.

“I saw another man watching me from farther up the river and was startled by his intense gaze. He looked desperate. I realized then that there was desperation spreading through the people that seemed to multiply before my eyes.

“I could see the man was completely immobile by what surrounded him. He could not move, but I watched him as he floated by me, pushed by the mob in the river. He was saying something to me, but I could not hear it. I saw only his lips mouthing the words ‘Help me!’

“Instantly, my heart jumped to attention and my mind raced to think of what I could do to rescue the man. What did he need saving from? Indeed, though he led so many to the forgiveness he craved, I saw he could not forgive himself. I saw the years that he had spent in the pastorate fleeing from the discovery of his hidden life. Indeed, his double life – the life he did not want to live and the life he longed to truly live.

“He was taken captive by a large demonic creature of lust and perversion that had complete control of him. It sat on his shoulders like a proud, disgusting mass. The creature was prideful of his prize, this poor defeated pastor, whose wife defined sweetness and adored him
so much. She prayed with all her heart for God to touch him and make him again into the man she once knew.

“ ‘Help me!’ I saw him say again. My heart was gripped with compassion for him and I cried to the Lord. ‘Oh, Jesus,’ I cried. ‘Can’t we help that poor man? Jesus, help him, please.’

“Before Jesus could answer me, the river suddenly came alive with activity. Over my cries to the Lord for help, the creatures in the water began to scream in unintelligible shrieks and howling. The sounds rippled through the water like waves and seemed to be calling something.

“Suddenly, from the sky across the river I saw a massive flying creature. It was enormous and flew with great speed directly at the river. The creatures in the river grew louder and louder with their noise and seemed to be chanting something as they saw it approaching. They were greedy with excitement. The sound of them made me sick.

“The creature flew across the river with a large rock in its tentacles, and suddenly I realized what was about to happen. Anguishing fear gripped me, but there was no time to react.

“I was filled with anger at the creatures in the river who were hungry for destruction. I watched as the
disgusting, winged creature flew directly at the pastor and launched his weapon at the man. The man did not even see it – his head was turned toward me as he continued to cry his mournful plea for help.

“I screamed a guttural cry from deep inside me as I saw the creature release the stone and watched as it struck the man directly in the head. In a flash he was gone... under the water... I did not see him emerge again.”

Though you were once despised and hated, with no one traveling through you, I will make you beautiful forever, a joy to all generations.

—Isaiah 60:15 NLT

BELOVED CONTINUED
, “I sat for a moment, unable to breath, paralyzed by the scene I had witnessed. The river seemed to ripple with unholy howls and dark, gleeful jeers. The trees of the forest only a few feet away from us seemed to laugh at me. The wicked flight of the flying creature made them bolder in their contempt. The strong gusts of wind caused by the flying creature blustered through the trees, giving them the appearance of power.

“I grew fearful as I watched them but, without saying a word, Jesus held out His hand and the trees instantly stopped. Looking to Him for guidance, He
seemed
to be unmoved by the shocking scene we’d just witnessed. I was puzzled by His reaction, or lack thereof.

“The more forlorn and despairing the river grew, the more intently Jesus looked out over the horizon at the rising sun. I wondered what it was He saw there.

“As I looked to see what had captured His gaze, I saw what He saw. Far off, away in the distance, I saw the rays of the sun peaking out over the horizon. Though it was still only a dim glow, it seemed almost smothered by a dark mist somehow emanating from the river, as if it were trying to dim the brightness of the sun’s rising.

“It was still very dark where we were and the light, at this point, only succeeded in reflecting faintly over the thick membrane of death that covered the river.

“The Lord continued His intense watch of the horizon as the water looked nearly crammed with seemingly lifeless, hopeless people held captive by a horde of demonic creatures.

“With the light of the sun, I felt the most fearful I had yet; with the sun’s rays, I could see what was really in the water. An almost overwhelming hopelessness filled my heart now as I saw clearly the condition of the people in the river.

“I saw face after face of hopeless longing as they watched us pass by them in the water. Occasionally, a demonic creature, seeing me, would grab onto the boat and try to climb in. But then, seeing the Lord with me, the creature slithered back down into the water.

“Transfixed by the skyline ahead of us, Jesus was not afraid and did not even seem to notice the water or the activity around us.

“The water in the river at this point was barely visible due to the massive throng of people wedged in it. They were packed together, carried along by the force of the crowd and the demonic creatures that held them captive. The water was moving faster now and the people were pressed together mercilessly, all the time watching me with longing in their eyes.

“At this point, the fog was lifting off the river and the people appeared to have a greater awareness of their surroundings. As we passed by, it looked like a greater number of the river’s inhabitants were beginning to sense danger ahead for themselves. It was as if the numbness they had felt gave birth to a sense of foreboding for the coming reality soon to follow.

“More and more, a sense of fear took hold of them. Their dark captors increased in their arrogance over what they had accomplished through the grasp of the river’s shame.

“As fear mounted, the river’s masses became even more frantic and watched us intently with agonized yearning. I watched them, too, wanting so much to help them but not knowing how. Our boat was moving faster than the current, however, and we soon passed by them.

“My heart was overwhelmed with the gravity of their plight, people being goaded along by demonic creatures bent on their destruction. I tried to scream at them and tell them that they should fight back and get away, but the shame hanging over them perverted my screams into accusations of anger. They looked terrified of me and tried to move away, but they were powerless.

“We traveled some distance on the river when the small boat we rode in stopped and raised itself at the Lord’s command to stand near the river’s edge and rest in the air over the river’s path.