Awakenings - SF1 (19 page)

He was not to be deterred, however. When she pulled away he walked back into the hall and looked more closely at the bike. "Sure seems like a nice one,"
he said. "Is it new?"

"Yeah, I just got it this week."

"How come?"
he inquired as he returned to the kitchen, carrying his mail.

"How come what?"
she replied, although she knew what the question really was.

"How come you bought a new expensive bike?"
he said patiently.

"I want to get into riding,"
she said, as if this explained everything.

But Jack was his usual tenacious self, and he sensed there was more beneath the surface. "Why?"
he asked firmly as he locked his gaze onto hers, giving her a clear signal that he wanted a complete answer.

"I've decided that I'm going to ride in this years AIDS Ride in June."
That should satisfy him,
she thought.

"Why would you want to do that?"
he asked with his voice rising just a bit. "And why are you avoiding my questions?"

"What's so odd about wanting to do something to support a worthy cause, Jack?"
she replied. "We've both been lucky enough to have been unscathed by this disease. The least I can do is show my support by doing this ride."

"Jamie, we both know if you wanted to support this cause you could write them a check that would make them faint. That can't be the reason for doing something this stupid." As soon as it was out he truly wanted to pull that last word back into his mouth. That urge got stronger when he saw the hurt look in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Jamie. I didn't mean that,"
he said as he approached her and tried to put his arms around her.

But Jamie was having none of it. She turned her back on him and struggled to keep the tears from flowing. She shrugged off his repeated attempts to touch her as she tried to control her emotions. Finally she turned around and regarded him with a sad look. "Why would you say something like that, Jack? Are you just trying to hurt me?"

"No, of course not, Sweetheart,"
he said as he was again rebuffed in his attempt to touch her. "It's just that it seems there's more and more stuff that you don't tell me. I guess I just feel left out,"
he grumbled with a dejected look on his handsome face.

Jamie could not resist the hurt puppy look and she had to admit that he was right. She was leaving him out of some decisions, so she relented and took him into her arms. "I'm sorry, Jack. I don't want you to feel left out. This is just something I decided to do recently. It's important to me and I want your support. I guess I sometimes forget to tell you things, but I'll try to do better in the future."

He wrapped her in a fierce hug and held on for several minutes. As he nuzzled his head into her neck he broke the ice by asking, "Do you want to make up like we did last time?"

She laughed a little as she leaned her head back and gave him a tender kiss. "I would love to, but dinner's about ready. Let's eat and then go to bed early, okay?"

Over dinner she explained the ride more thoroughly. She was reticent to explain how Ryan was so intrinsically involved, but she was resolved to try to keep her promise to Jack. Her friend's name had not been mentioned since their fight and she felt a little guilty about developing such a close relationship without Jack's knowledge. The first time she mentioned Ryan's name Jack paused mid-bite, but he did not comment. Jamie dutifully told him everything. She told him about deciding to do the ride, about buying the bike, about training at the gym. She was chagrined to hear herself mention Ryan every 5 seconds, but she was determined to be completely honest.

Jack asked a few questions, but just generally let her talk. When she was finished he sat back in his chair and regarded her for a long moment. "I would like to get to know this woman,"
he said simply. "She's obviously become a very good friend and you seem to be spending quite a lot of time with her so I would like to spend some time with her too."

"How about tomorrow?"
she asked with a little grin. "She's bringing her bike down here and we're going on a ride."

"Tomorrow it is,"
he said with a small smile.

They lay in bed together late that night. Jack was sound asleep and Jamie watched him as he lay in peaceful exhaustion. They had made love, and while Jamie was not physically satiated she felt very peaceful lying next to her
fiancée
. She loved the closeness and the warmth their lovemaking provided. She often thought that her favorite time was after Jack had finished and he lay collapsed in her arms. She felt so close to him, kissing his forehead and holding him tight as she whispered words of love into his ear. She snuggled up behind him and rested her head against his back as she rolled him onto his side, and drifted off.

Jamie had donned her new bike shorts and a lightweight long sleeved T-shirt that was designed to wick away sweat. She clomped around the living room in her bike shoes and did a few light stretches to loosen her hamstrings and quads. Ryan was due in a few minutes and she knew she would be on time, as usual. Jamie was a bit nervous and Jack seemed very quiet.
I hope this goes well. I know he will like her if he can just give her a chance.

Just then the doorbell rang and she went to let her guest in.
Well, I finally got my wish,
she sighed to herself as she took in Ryan's long form.
I've been dying to see her muscles and she had to show them to me when Jack's here
. But even though she was a bit chagrined she was glad to finally be able to check her out thoroughly. And she had to admit that the wait was well worth it. This woman was a truly amazing sight. She wore black ankle length bike pants that highlighted every firm muscle of her legs, and a tight red short sleeved bicycling jersey covered with advertising logos. Her large red bicycle was casually slung over her broad shoulder, and her black helmet dangled from the handlebar. Her black hair was slicked back off her face, and her face was flushed from obvious exertion which must have included carrying the bike up 3 flights of stairs. She wore a bright smile on her beautiful face as she grinned down at Jamie. "Hi,"
she said simply.

"Di
…
Di
…
Did you ride here?"
Jamie asked incredulously as she struggled to resist the urge to catch the drop of sweat that was trailing down the side of Ryan's cheek.

"Yep. I figured that since I need to put in 100 or so miles on the weekend, that this would be an easy way to do it."

"C'mon in and I'll get you something to drink. You look like you could use it," she laughed. "Honey, Ryan's here,"
she said toward Jack's small office.

He emerged with a quizzical look on his face. He took in the figure before him and shook his head a bit, "Did you ride here?"
he asked with a smile as he extended his hand.

Ryan struggled a little to remove her padded glove, but finally got it off and took his still extended hand. "Sorry, I'm a little sweaty,"
she said as she shook Jack's hand. "That last hill was a killer,"
she admitted.

Jamie emerged from the kitchen with a cold bottle of water, which was gratefully accepted. Ryan tore open the cap and tilted the bottle up to her mouth. As she leaned her head back to chug the cold water
,
Jack stole a long glance.
Wow
, he marveled,
she could be a model, or something. Well, maybe a model for a fitness magazine, she couldn't pull off the waif thing at all,
he amended
.

Ryan dropped the now empty bottle to her thigh and breathed out a satisfied sigh. "Boy, that really hit the spot, Jamie. Thanks."

"You're welcome,"
Jamie grinned. "I'm surprised you didn't bring some along for the trip."

"Oh, I did,"
Ryan admitted. But I drank it all half way down here. Sometimes I don't pay attention to the weather change from the City to the Peninsula. It was cold and foggy when I left home this morning and I didn't check the weather before I left. It must be 20 degrees warmer here than at home."

"Give me your water bottles and I'll fill them for you,"
Jamie offered.

Ryan handed over her 2 spent bottles from their cages on her bike. "Can I make a pit stop before we take off again?"
she inquired.

"Sure. It's right down the hall, next to the office,"
Jack replied.

Jamie retreated to the kitchen to complete her chore and Jack followed on her heels. "God
,
Jamie, I didn't notice before how gorgeous she is,"
he whispered into her ear as she leaned over the sink.

"Maybe you just like the sweaty look,"
she said with a chuckle.
I know I do
, she thought wryly. "Do you feel the standard male urge to convert her to your team?"
she asked with a giggle, right back into his ear.

"No, not me, but a lot of guys sure would."

"Why not you?"
she inquired as her brow furrowed.

"One--because she' s not my type. Two--because I've got my hands full with you. I can't take on any side work,"
he said as he bent slightly to kiss her smiling mouth. Jamie was a bit taken by surprise as he really began to get into the kiss. One hand moved up her torso as the other slipped down and palmed her Lycra encased butt. She was about to push him away when she caught a glimpse of Ryan in the doorway.

Jamie thought about the kiss for a moment as she finished filling up the bottles and Jack returned to the living room to chat with Ryan.
That was odd. He is normally so reserved around other people. It almost seemed like he wanted her to see that, like he was laying claim to me.
She briefly chastised herself
, You don't have to analyze everything, Jamie. Maybe he just felt like kissing you at that moment. And trying to cop a feel in front of your lesbian friend,
her suspicious side warned.

Ryan hoisted her bike onto her broad shoulder while Jack did the same with Jamie's. "Jack, I brought it up here myself,"
she argued, "I'm sure I can get it down the same way."

"I'm sure you can, Sweetheart,"
he agreed. "But I'm here and I want to help,"
he stated gallantly.

As Jamie situated herself on the bike he leaned over and kissed her goodbye. "I really might need your help when I get home,"
she admitted. "If I ring the buzzer will you come down?"

"Absolutely,"
he agreed. "Now you two be safe. There's lot of traffic on Saturday."

"Okay, Dad,"
Jamie teased.

"I'll take care of her, Jack,"
Ryan said in the same teasing tone.

Jamie thought she saw the smallest flicker of irritation cross his handsome face, but she decided to ignore it.

They took off and began their short trek to the Stanford campus. "Have you been down here much?"
she asked Ryan.

"No, not really,"
Ryan revealed. "I've been to a few athletic events but that's it. I'm actually not sure that I've ever been here during daylight hours."

"Well you're in luck because I know this place like the back of my hand,"
she admitted. As she set her trip computer to zero she asked, "So, we're doing 15 miles today, Coach?"

"If you feel up to it,"
Ryan replied. "I know I tortured your legs yesterday and I want you to pay careful attention to how they feel,"
she warned.

"Well, my butt feels fine and if we stay on this level terrain I think I'll be fine."

"Good. This is exactly the type of ride I want you to do on Saturdays. It's a good thing you come down to the Peninsula on the weekends. It's the ideal place to do your long slow distance ride. Berkeley is really too hilly unless you stay around campus and that is like sucking on an exhaust pipe."

"That's a sweet image. I'm sure I'll have that in mind when I ride to class on Monday," she laughed.

They rode through the palm lined streets of the campus which was relatively quiet. There was never a lot of activity on a Saturday when the Cardinal was playing an away game and since today's game was against UCLA it appeared that a substantial portion of the undergraduates had either taken a road trip to L.A. or were watching the game in their dorm rooms. Ryan had always thought it overly precious that the Stanford mascot was a color. But she supposed that was part of the Stanford mystique. The motto for the school could have been 'Be completely unique', she thought.

"So why are you so familiar with Stanford?"
Ryan quizzed as they rode along.

"Well, both of my parents went here and my mother's family has a strong connection."

"Hmm,"
said Ryan with a knowing grin. "Given what you've told me about your family I assume that means that some big buildings are named after you."

Jamie shot her a glance but then laughed a bit as she admitted, "Surprisingly not. My family was more into sponsoring chairs in various disciplines. I think they felt that having a building named after you would be nice but only people on campus would know your name. But when a professor is the recipient of the 'Putnam Barrett Smith Chair of Humanities' he or she uses that title on all of their professional publications. Lots more notoriety,"
she informed Ryan with a roll of her eyes.

"Smith, huh?"
Ryan said as she rode close. "Could you be any Waspier?"

"Don't think so,"
Jamie admitted.

"Don't you have any Stepnoski's or Liebowitzes or Hudek's or Antonioni's or even an odd Murphy in your family?"

"Nope. Mother's family came from England in about 1650 and they've stuck to their own kind almost exclusively, near as I can tell. My father's family also came from England not long after the Revolutionary War."

"That's remarkable,"
Ryan said with interest. "How do you know so much about your family?"

"Wasps love to research their genealogy,"
she said with a laugh. "My mother's mother hired someone to research their family tree. It's all in a nicely bound leather book."

"That's pretty neat,"
Ryan said. "So show me something with your family name on it."

"Okay,"
she replied. They pedaled over to the main quad and hopped off their bikes. Walking over to an impressive stone archway Jamie led her inquisitive friend to a large plaque that had been placed on the interior of the arcade. "There you go,"
she said as she pointed to the plaque with a flourish.

The legend read that the archway was substantially retrofitted and repaired after the Loma Prieta earthquake by the generous contributions of the listed benefactors. Ryan scanned the names for a Smith and pointed to a 'Roger B. Smith'. "Is that your family?"

"Yeah. That's a cousin. But that's not what I wanted to show you." Ryan gave her a puzzled glance so she pointed to the beginning of the alphabet. After a few seconds of scanning Ryan turned to her with a cute little grin. "Are those your parents?"

"Yep."

"Why are they listed separately?"
Ryan inquired as she considered the entries for both James S. Evans and Catherine D.S. Evans.

"Hmm, I'm not sure,"
she admitted. "I assume they each made a contribution from their separate funds and they didn't want to share the glory."

Ryan shot her a glance to see if she was kidding, but it was obvious that not only was her friend serious, she didn't seem to think this behavior odd. It was a struggle not to impart her own family's sense of propriety onto the Evans family but Ryan could not understand why you would not want to have your name listed along with your spouse. It just seemed terribly odd to her but she didn't want to make a big deal out of it so she kept her opinion to herself. "This is quite a pretty arch,"
she said as she looked around.

"Yeah, it is,"
Jamie agreed. "As you may know the University was founded by Leland Stanford and his wife, Jane Lathrop Stanford. They had just one child, Leland Junior. He died just a few months before his 16
^th
birthday and they decided to create and dedicate the university to him. The actual name is the Leland Stanford Junior University."

"I didn't know that,"
Ryan said. "That's some memorial."

"Yeah. Mrs. Stanford was quite the impressive woman. This arch was one of her personal touches." Jamie led her friend around to the front of the structure. She pointed up at the stone carvings that lined the arch and pointed out that each one bore a tiny heart right in the center. "She really dedicated the rest of her life to making this university one of the finest in the country. She must have missed her son terribly, but I really admire her for doing something positive in his name rather than just quietly mourning him."

Ryan was studying the arch and Jamie watched as her elegant fingers softly stroked one of the carved hearts. Her companion was very quiet as she contemplated the structure. Finally she said, "As hard as it was to lose my mother it's the natural order of things, you know?"
she asked as she turned to face Jamie. "A child is supposed to outlive their parents. I just can't imagine how devastating it would be to lose your only child at such a young age,"
she said quietly.

The sad longing in those clear blue eyes made Jamie unconsciously place her hand in the small of Ryan's back in a small attempt at comforting her friend. Ryan draped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle hug. "Thanks for showing me this,"
she said quietly.

"Would you like to see the Memorial Church?"
she asked. "It's where my parents were married."

"Sure,"
Ryan said happily as she removed her arm from its perch.

"It's right in the back of this interior quadrangle,"
Jamie informed her as they walked along. Moments later they were standing in the beautiful non-denominational church. Ryan's head was thrown back as she gazed at the magnificent stained glass windows that surrounded her.

"These are outstanding!"
she whispered as Jamie approached.

"Yeah, this place is pretty special,"
she agreed quietly, even though they were the only people in the structure. "The inscriptions on the walls are from Mrs. Stanfords writings,"
she informed Ryan. "Some of them are quite beautiful."

Ryan was obviously fascinated by the church and Jamie left her to her wanderings. She sat down in a pew to rest her legs but found herself slyly watching Ryan as she stopped before each inscription. When she spotted her friend staring at one particular inscription for a long while Jamie finally walked over to her and read it.

Ryan turned to her slowly and said, "Those are the words of someone who has known sorrow...
but refused to let it own her."

Jamie gave her a small smile and pondered the words again:

There are but few on earth free from cares, none but carry burdens of sorrow. And if all were asked to make a package of their troubles, and throw this package on a common pile, and then were asked to go and choose a package that they were willing to bear, all would select their own package again.