Awakenings - SF1 (3 page)

"I'm bored," Mia moaned, shaking her curly mid-length medium brown hair. "I'm so glad you're home early James," she said as her dark brown eyes twinkled up at her friend. Jamie smiled at the nickname that Mia had bestowed on her during high school. Mia stretched languidly, pulling her 5'4" frame to its full length. Her friend's body resembled her own in both size and weight. Both women were quite thin, almost painfully so at times, but there was a sturdy athleticism lurking within both that had never really been tapped.

"I'm glad I'm back too, I missed you, buddy."

"You did? Why?" Mia asked suspiciously. "Did the perfect couple have a fight?"

"No, of course not. You know we don't fight. I just wanted to spend some time with you and get some girl talk in," Jamie admitted a little shyly.

"What's up James? You do look a little down," Mia agreed.

"I don't know, Mia. That's my problem. I just feel restless, like I want something to happen, but I don't know what."

"Are things any better between the sheets with old Jack?" Mia asked with a devilish grin.

"Mia, don't tease me," Jamie said with a hint of irritation in her voice. She knew she should not be irritable with Mia, but she was a little unhappy about her sex life and she really didn't like discussing it. She would never have broached the topic with Mia at all, but her friend had been sexually active since 16 and was very open and cavalier about the topic. This generally relaxed Jamie enough so that she could talk about it, something they had been doing more and more of lately.

"Hey, James, I didn't mean to offend you. Are you okay?" she asked with real concern in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm sorry Mia. Things aren't any better and I'm getting kind of frustrated," she finally admitted.

"You know, Jamie, I didn't start really enjoying sex for 3 years after I started. And it's only been since Jason that I really love it."

"Really?" Jamie asked, rather astounded.

"Well," she admitted as she tossed her head. "There were parts that I always liked but I didn't really like intercourse until Jason."

"But that's what is so frustrating, Mia. Before we actually had sex it was great with Jack. We would kiss and touch each other for hours. I felt so close to him. I would go home some nights and just feel like I was on fire. But since we started to, well, you know," she blushed, "it feels so mechanical."

"James I hate to break this to you but you are experiencing what every woman goes through when you go from teasing a guy to really doing it," she laughed.

"I don't know what you mean."

"When a guy can't go all the way he has to spend all of his time doing what he thinks you want. For most women that means kissing and holding each other and touching each other. He keeps doing that until you figure, 'This guy will really know how to make love to me.' You finally give in and then he has all the cards. He finally gets to do what he wants and it's payback time, baby! As little foreplay as possible, check for moisture content and then it's time for the main event!"

Jamie looked at her with a completely shocked expression on her face.

"That look on your face says I've hit the penis on the head," Mia teased.

"But Mia, why would women ever want to make love if that's all it was?" Jamie practically cried in frustration.

"Well, girlfriend, that's not all it ever is. If you find a guy who really loves to make love, it's all that and then some," she said encouragingly.

"But Mia, Jack tries soooo hard. It really bothers him if I don't come. He attacks me like a legal brief. He believes if he works harder and smarter it'll be great. I've tried to get him to relax. I have even considered faking an orgasm, but he watches me so closely I know he would know I was faking and that would really hurt him."

"Have you tried to, ah, lend him a hand, so to speak?" Mia asked with a playful tone.

"Yes," Jamie said as she blushed again. "But he seems to regard that as a failure on his part. I've tried to tell him that I'm just helping a little, but it's hardly worth it when I see the hurt look on his face."

"I feel for you, hon," Mia said. "I have engaged in more bad sex acts than I can count, but it must be hard when it's with a man you love."

"That's what really scares me, Mia. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with Jack. If we don't enjoy sex now, I have no reason to believe it will be better in the future. Honestly Mia, at times I just hope he comes to bed and doesn't want to do it," she said sadly. "I mean, shouldn't we just be tearing each others clothes off this early in our relationship?"

"Well, I would think so, judging from my limited experience in doing it with guys I love," she agreed. "But don't worry so much, James. You have a great relationship and Jack is a fantastic guy. Maybe he's right and more hard work will help everything to work out," she said hopefully.

"Yeah, you're probably right," agreed Jamie. "I mean we have only been doing it for 3 months. Maybe we just have to get used to each other a little bit more. Thanks for talking this over with me, Mia. You're the only one I trust enough to talk about this with."

"You're welcome, sweetie. I hope you know you can tell me anything."

As Jamie got ready for bed she thought over what Mia had said.
Well, I've got the rest of my life to work on this; I guess I don't have to be in that much of a hurry. Mia's right. There is no reason to think this will not all work out in the end. I mean, I do have the rest of my life to make some progress on this.

As the class settled noisily into their seats, Professor Linda Levy scanned their faces.
Not bad,
she thought
. At least there are 3 men.

"May I have your attention, please?" 20 mildly expectant faces gazed at her. "Welcome to Psychology 197-The Psychology of the Lesbian Experience. My name is Linda Levy. I'd like to get some housekeeping matters out of the way and then I'll give you an overview of the class. If we have time I would like each of you to introduce yourselves. I should warn you though, that this class is very interactive. If you're looking for a quiet place where you can sleep in the back row for 3 hours a week, you've come to the wrong place!"

Jamie closely regarded the professor. She was a small woman, about Jamie's height-5'4" or so. She was fit and trim and wore chinos with an attractive print silk blouse in shades of tan and brown. She had a warm smile and lively twinkling eyes. Her wavy chin length hair was parted on the side, and there was a sprinkling of gray in it. Jamie guessed her to be somewhere in her 40's although she had to admit that she was not terribly good at guessing ages.

Linda walked from row to row and handed out 3x5 cards. "I would like you to give me a little personal information on these cards," she stated. A number of giggles hit some of the women. "It's not necessary to give me
that
information unless you think it is relevant," she replied with a laugh of her own. "I suppose we should tackle that little issue right away," she said as she perched on the end of the large wooden desk situated at the front of the room.

"I am now, and I have always been a practicing lesbian," she said with another twinkle in her eyes. "However, lesbianism is not a pre-req for this course. I'm sure that will relieve you guys," she said as she pointed at the 3 men sitting near one another. "This class deals with the psychological issues that may be encountered by a group of people who have in many ways been marginalized by society. We will be undertaking this survey with the eyes of scholars-...not participants. This is not a 'How to be a lesbian' course. You do not need to declare your sexual orientation to the rest of the class. The class usually turns out to be predominantly lesbian, but I not only welcome heterosexuals, I really encourage straight people to take the class. It is the people who are not part of the peer group who can have the biggest impact on changing societal perceptions," she stated with conviction.

Jamie was relieved by this little explanation.
I think I'm going to like this,
she thought rather happily.

Linda continued, "On the cards I would like you to give me your names, phone numbers and a general idea of when you are available to do outside projects. I want to pair up class members based on their time availability to make it easier for everyone."

The class worked on their cards for a few minutes as Linda watched.
Well,
they look a little less nervous now. This looks like it might be a good group.

Jamie worked on her card-neatly writing her relevant information on the white rectangle. She indicated her home number and just to be thorough she included Jack's number with the words '
fiancée
s home number'.
Well, it doesn't hurt to get that out of the way right from the start,
she thought

Linda looked quickly at the cards as they were turned in.
Oh, that's cute
, she said to herself as she saw Jamie's card.
It always amazes me how people get those little tidbits of information in
, she thought wryly as she noted that Jamie had somehow mentioned that she possessed a
fiancée
. She tried to match people's availability and was pleased that she was able to do so fairly easily. "Okay people, I'm going to write down partner names on the board. After we do our introductions you'll be able to find each other."

She strode to the board and began to write the 10 pairs. Jamie saw her name go up on the board next to that of Ryan O'Flaherty.
Oh, great
, she moaned to herself,
I take a class in lesbianism and I get paired up with a guy. Well, at least he won't assume he can hit on me,
she thought hopefully.
Unless he's the type who thinks lesbians are hot,
she thought suspiciously.
God, Jamie, get a grip! Yesterday you were afraid of the women and today you're disappointed that you're with a man!

Linda returned to her perch on the front corner of the desk. "Okay, let's get to work." She launched into a rather lengthy speech on how the course was developed, how long she had been teaching it, and how it fit into the curriculum for psych majors.

Jamie was pleased with the way the course was organized.
This could really
be interesting, she thought
. I know so little about lesbians-and that's a liability in San Francisco. That's like living in L.A. And not knowing anything about the beach!

Linda looked at her watch and noted with surprise that the 70 minutes was just about up. "I apologize for going on so long," she said. "If you don't mind you can try to find each other after class to meet your partner. I'll see you all on Wednesday morning and we can discuss some of the class projects."

Well, at least I have it easy,
thought Jamie...
there a
re only 3 guys.
She approached the first and tentatively asked, "Are you Ryan?"

"Nope," he replied, "I'm Todd." The other two men were Demitrius and Mike. Jamie was at a loss. The rest of the class seemed to be more successful and were all busily exchanging info. As people began to drift away Jamie noticed one lone figure sitting quietly. She was idly twirling a ring on the surface of her desk and did not seem to be in any hurry to find her partner.

Jamie approached her from the back and asked, "Are you Ryan?" with a hint of exasperation in her voice.

The dark head turned and she was nonplussed to see the most dazzling white smile she thought she had ever encountered. "Well, if I wasn't before, I am now," the beautiful woman answered with a little tease in her voice as a terribly sexy grin lit up her face.

Jamie blushed all the way to the roots of her blonde hair. The woman unfolded herself from the desk that was obviously too small for her long frame. She extended her hand and Jamie mindlessly parroted her. "I'm Ryan O'Flaherty," she said, flashing that smile again. Jamie knew that it was her turn to speak, but for some strange reason she felt unable to. "And you are..." Ryan cast a quick look over at the chalkboard, "Jamie Evans?"

"Oh, right, I mean yes, I'm Jamie Evans," she heard her voice automatically respond.

"It's good to meet you, Jamie Evans," Ryan stated rather gravely.

Jamie knew that she should stop staring but she was unable to control herself. Ryan was probably the most beautiful woman she had even seen. She stood over 6 feet tall, with a sturdy but lean, muscular build. There was something very feminine about her body that the muscle paradoxically seemed to accentuate. Jamie guessed her jet-black hair was quite long even though it was pulled back in a ponytail and partially hidden under a backwards-black knit-driving cap. She wore a tight blinding white thick cotton T-shirt that hugged each of her ample curves and over that a black and maroon paisley vest. This topped a pair of well-faded 501's that looked like they were created specifically for her long legs. A pair of shiny cordovan penny loafers worn without socks completed her ensemble.

Jamie realized that she was still gripping Ryan's hand and immediately dropped it as though it was burning her. Ryan just continued to smile at her and Jamie found that it was very difficult to meet her penetrating gaze. When she finally forced herself to do so she was again shocked to discover the most dazzling pair of ice blue eyes that one could imagine.
Jesus
, she thought as she tore herself away from that intense gaze,
how does one woman get this many perfect parts?